Embroidery had always looked so interesting to Leah. Whenever she went to the craft stores with Caius, she was always fascinated by the wonderful rainbow of silks on display. Often she’d pick them up and stroke them lightly, the purples were her favorite, the purples that matched her normal hair. There was a spool that was a perfect match for it, and she went back to see it each time they went to the store.

Finally, she purchased it, and purchased a few books on how to embroider, as well as tools to help her get started.

Leah had no idea what to actually make but she liked the idea of being able to make something. Her brother was so talented at everything to do with art, and Nick was so good at cooking, Arias at baking…she wanted something of her own…and perhaps…with time…this could be her thing. Everyone needed a thing.

Learning from books was…hard. Impossible, actually, and Leah found herself growing more and more frustrated as the time passed and she was gaining absolutely no skills whatsoever. Perhaps…she wasn’t actually meant to find her thing after all? Perhaps…since she couldn't stick with anything, this was the universe’s way of letting her know that she would always be adrift. Always be without an anchor, always be…lost.

Finding the videos explaining different stitches was…well. A lifesaver, honestly. It took hours and hours of watching and a lot of practice…a lot of pricked fingers with the needles but…finally she managed to create something that was almost acceptable. It was a little lumpy, and a little lopsided but…it was hers. And it was something that Leah had done all on her own, without anyone’s help, guidance or assistance.

This was her project, and now that it was done, she looked at the finished product with a small, sad smile.

The symbol of the Vanguard.

Looking at it hurt her as much as she enjoyed it, but…she supposed that it was still a part of her, even if she tried to run from it. Had she not been in the Vanguard to begin with…she would have never come to Earth. Never met the people that she had…never had the life that she had. All she would have been was another Velencian, waiting for death and doing the best that she could…and…

Leah didn’t want that.

She didn’t want to do the best that she could, she wanted to be the best that she could…and perhaps that meant…

Perhaps that meant to stop running. Maybe she would go and try to find Caedus…to talk with him, to let him know that she was still here, and would fight for him if he needed…maybe she would start going out more, start interacting with the Vanguard again, if she could find more of them…there was so much that she should do…so.

Perhaps it was simply time to get started.

Now Leah had the drive but…no way to execute it. She still felt uncomfortable in her normal skin. Uncomfortable in her uniform but…

Pausing for a moment, Leah let her civilian glamour drop and sat there as Aeleas, and after a long moment’s compilation, she shrugged off her jacket and held it in her lap, taking that purple silk that she loved so much and slowly, carefully embroidering a small flower into the corner. It was a way to tie things together, at least that was what she told herself. If she could somehow bridge the gap between them…if she could be comfortable being Aeleas again…perhaps that was the biggest issue. She was no longer comfortable being the person that she had been all of her life, and the person she had been for less than two years…felt more like who she was supposed to be.

Aeleas gave a soft sigh, taking some yellow silk now and putting a small middle center of the flower, and then some green to do two small leaves and an equally small stem.

Perhaps…this would be a good way to tie it all together. The green and yellow of her uniform, the purple of her hair…the embroidery learned during her time on Earth…the one thing she was doing and learning just for herself…it…might help.

Quietly, slowly, Aeleas shrugged her jacket back on and gave another long sigh, laying back on her bed and taking a moment to slip into her glamour once again, though picked up the embroidered image of the Vanguard symbol, looking at it. Studying it.

…Who was she?

It seemed like she was far too old to be having an identity crisis like this but…here she was, doing just that.

After a long while of thinking, of trying to figure out what would be the best thing to do, she made a decision and removed the piece of fabric from the embroidery hoop that she had put the Vanguard symbol on, and instead, took her pillowcase off of her pillow and carefully arranged it in the hoop so that one of the corners would be used for a canvas.
With much greater care, much greater ease and…slightly better skills, she remade the project, though filled in the symbol with her colors as though she were a commander. Perhaps…this was a good compromise…keeping her two lives in check. A reminder of who she was now if and when she was trying to be a good Vanguard member…and a reminder of who she should aspire to be when she slept on her newly embroidered pillowcase…

It…was a daunting thought, but at the same time…it almost felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

She would go and find Caedus. She wouldn’t keep hiding from her former friends and comrades.

Perhaps…Leah was ready to be Aeleas again.

At least a little bit. And for now, a little bit was enough.