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 Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2023 9:11 pm
Retzian had spent the days after meeting Cybele and Daphne doing a lot of thinking. Her head had been hurting for the past few days from all of the things she was trying to plan. There had to be a plan. She couldn’t just…willy nilly do something…she had to get ready for it. Prepare.
…Figure out what she was going to do with her money…
That would be a talk with Emily when they had their Sunday brunch but…for now…she had to truly admit to herself that…well. She was going to turn traitor. Perhaps she had known that from the moment that Daphne had held her and cried…but. If the girl didn’t want to join the Negaverse…and…honestly, Retzian couldn’t stand the thought of something bad happening to her. Of her ceasing to be it.
The thought made her want to vomit.
Pacing helped her keep her thoughts in focus, and she did so now, hoping that Cybele had been able to talk to those friends of hers. Hoping that another bit of perspective could…do….something.
Honestly at this rate, she’d end up vanishing and Dagon wouldn’t even know what had happened. So much for soulmates and past lives and…past…wives.
Ah well.
The feeling of two auras had her head snapping up. They were both stronger than she was, and for a moment, she felt rather alarmed.
…Was this an ambush? Had Cybele lied to her after all? Had…Caledonite been right when he warned of Senshi being awful…
No. No if worst came to the worst, she could always teleport.
She had enough energy. Hopefully…
Hopefully this wouldn't turn out poorly.
Turning herself in the direction of the auras, Retzian waited, drawing in a breath and trying to arrange her face into an expression that didn’t show any fear.
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 2:33 pm
They’d been careful before they showed up. Checked to make sure there didn’t seem to be anyone in hiding. Made sure it didn’t seem like there were any traps to be laid. It was just being thorough.
Especially since they were both pretty sure they already knew who she was.
Alastor hadn’t seen her before, but he glanced at Sessrumnir to make sure that there were no immediate red flags.
When he looked at the Captain, she seemed nervous. Resolved.
He didn’t want Cybele to be wrong. Didn’t want Oliver to be wrong.
Didn’t want to mess this up if there was a chance to save her.
As they approached, he held his hand up in polite greeting. “Cybele said there was someone interested in meeting up. I’m guessing that’s you?”
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2023 6:17 pm
Sessrumnir was already cautious. He didn’t like that Retzain knew who Oliver was. But then again, Oliver had an idea of who she was.
She’d wanted to speak to Alastor, so Sessrumnir was content with letting him take the lead on the conversation. He was busy making sure there weren’t any auras nearby, or anyone lurking in the shadows that could jump out at them.
He kept his hand tight around the fang that was tied to his belt. He didn’t want to have to use his magic, but he was prepared to do whatever it took to keep his family safe. And he considered Oliver a part of his family.
Still, he didn't want to seem unfriendly, so he nodded in greeting. She hadn't immediately tried to attack them, at least.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 9:00 am
Retzian nodded in return to the Knight’s nod and then turned her attention to the Senshi who had spoken. “I’m Captain Retzian, yes. Her name is Cybele? That’s the one with the mint colored hair, right? Purples and greens in her outfit?”
She hoped so. If not, this was going to be more than a little awkward. “May I ask, are you Alastor? If so, then…Cybele was right, and you’re not a fish man and…” She glanced towards the Knight again, giving him an almost pitying look. “I’m sorry that you don’t have a hot fish man for a husband. Not that he’s bad or anything!” Chewing her lip she hesitated. “Do…either of you know Dagon? Or know of Dagon? I was told that…you have a similar situation going on? Or…something like it?”
Glancing between the two, Retzian finally gave an awkward smile. “Unless you’re two completely different people and this is just some random meeting in which case I can go, really.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 10:16 am
Alastor nodded after she spoke, making an effort to keep up his easy going, relaxed demeanor. In the past, he had easily come across as stoic and intimidating, so he settled into old habits and put forth a solid effort to seem approachable. Not too friendly, just in case, but caution had a place in every meeting.
The Chaos she exuded felt like suffocating little prickles, but it wasn’t like it had been on his world. This was tolerable, at least.
“I’m Alastor. And not a fish man, no. Sorry to disappoint.” Even if he hadn’t gotten Dagon’s name from their meeting, the description would have been enough for him to assume he’d met her. “I know her.” He didn’t mention that it had been rather briefly, but vagueness could be a good tool in conversation. “I don’t know entirely what you’ve been told, so it’s hard to say with certainty that my story matches what you know of her.”
He glanced at Sessrumnir to make sure he was doing all right, but he suspected he was out of his comfort zone with names and relationships being thrown around. He turned back to Retzian. “But, yes. I think we have a similar situation.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 10:35 am
Sessrumnir tried to relax his jaw before he gave himself a headache from clenching it so tightly. He felt uncomfortable by this interaction, especially if people knew about his and Alastor’s relationship.
It was bad enough that Jet could make guesses about his and Alastor’s relationship. He didn’t need his adopted family members going around and suggesting that he and Alastor had a similar situation to someone in the Negaverse.
But Oliver wanted to help her. And if they could do something to get her out of the Negaverse, that would be one less to their numbers. And maybe she would get the happy ending that Oliver wanted for her.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 10:50 am
Glancing at the Knight again, Retzian began to feel rather uncomfortable. She had been so eager to talk with him, eager to pick his brain about how he didn’t…let whatever in the past mess with his mind about the present, but…honestly, he didn’t seem as though he had any desire or inclination to speak to her…hadn’t responded to her sad attempt at a joke and hadn’t given his name either.
Okay, well. She wasn’t stupid so she could figure out when her presence wasn’t wanted. Focusing her attention back to Alastor, Retzian looked a little deflated and shrugged. “No, Cybele told me that you weren’t. And I know not all of you are…fish people, but. Still. Um. I’m glad that you know her, she’s pretty great.”
Taking a step backwards, Retzian crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged slightly. “I’m glad that yours worked out. I keep looking for Dagon to talk with her again but I haven’t seen her in a while, but. Everything's kind of changed in my mind regardless so. Her and I can just figure things out whenever I do end up seeing her again. It’s not a big deal, I suppose.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 11:27 am
Retzian’s discomfort was entirely visible–practically palpable. Alastor glanced at Sessrumnir briefly and almost thought to reach over and take his hand. Retzian didn’t seem threatening, but if anyone else was watching? If she did want to purify, what if the Negaverse was onto her? If they were spying on her?
No, he was over thinking things. He needed to stay focused.
He rolled his shoulders and worked out any building tension; he wanted to be relaxed.
“I haven’t seen her in a while, but if you did want to meet up, I could try and reach her. Cybele said a lot of good things about you. I was surprised, given her history with the Negaverse. I thought you must be something special, so I wanted to meet you, too. Sorry, we had a bad run in not so long ago.” He glanced at Sessrumnir briefly and then back at her. He managed a polite smile and hoped it was encouraging enough to help her relax.
“Not everyone’s as courteous as you, you’ll have to forgive us. I can’t imagine what it’s like being in your position. It’s been much easier for me to navigate on my own without having to worry about someone lookin over my shoulder. The Negaverse must be stifling. You can’t get memories, can you? Of your past life?”
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 12:43 pm
Sessrumnir had been in this situation before. Back when Plisetskaya, known as Cymophane to the Negaverse, wanted to purify. They’d offered him a place to be safe, a place where he could be purified without having to worry about the Negaverse finding him.
But at the last minute, he backed out. He got cold feet. Jet found them. He’d come after Plisetskaya, having expected him to be meeting up with the White Moon for purification.
Devyn hadn’t been there.
Devyn didn’t have to weigh in the choice that they made to take Jet captive with the hope that it would give Plisetskaya time to escape, time to get away, maybe back to them to be purified.
Plisetskaya had been so eager. Empyrean had such high hopes for him, had vouched for him, had promised that if they could just make Plisetskaya feel safe, that he would purify and be free of the Negaverse.
Sessrumnir’s heart ached. His dad had trusted someone who wanted to purify, but when they got cold feet it ended up being the beginning of his end.
How were they supposed to know for certain that this wasn’t just a trap? That Retzian was looking for Dagon to trap her? Oliver was kind hearted and wanted to give everyone a chance.
Empyrean had wanted to give everyone a chance, too.
But now Empyrean was dead. And Jet was a General King.
He kept his mouth shut, but he caught Alastor’s glance. He wasn’t there to make enemies, and he wasn’t there to break his promise to Oliver. But he wanted to be cautious. All it took was a teleport and a knife to someone’s back. He’d dealt with the Negaverse long enough that unless she was willing to show them all of her cards, he was going to be tight lipped with his.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 12:54 pm
Perhaps this hadn’t been as good of an idea as she had hoped. And perhaps she had been right to be worried about this meeting.
Maybe she shouldn’t have shown up.
“It’s fine, I’ve had several bad run in’s with your kind too. Some truly do enjoy attacking without provocation. A lot don’t, and even if. It’s just a bad day, most have been kind to me when we’ve started talking.” Retzian reached up and rubbed the bridge of her nose, finally shrugging. “It’s what I know, but no. I have no memories of any past life. Only the bits that Dagon has told me, that I honestly don’t know if I believe, if you want the honest truth. But. I don’t know if I can live up to what she thinks I am. Who she thinks I am. And I’m not sure that I would be able to regardless of where I am.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 1:35 pm
Once more, Alastor listened with what appeared to be honest investment. It was strange, to think about things from an external perspective. When it came to things like his love life, he wasn’t very good with introspection–and he’d been especially poor at it a year ago.
“I hope she isn’t just comparing you to the woman she lost. It seems like a disservice. Even if you have her starseed, you’ll be different than she is. Which isn’t a bad thing,” he was quick to insist. “I wouldn’t want it any other way, personally.”
He had to pause and collect his thoughts, because now that he was thinking about it, he realized he didn’t actually have words in mind for it.
“My husband–my first husband–was wonderful. In every way he could have been. Perfect for me, and who I was back then.” His mouth felt strangely dry and he wondered if he was doing Retzian and Percy and Michael all a disservice for not already having these words prepared. “I didn’t get enough time with him. I suppose everyone can say that after they lose their soulmate. But with him, I don’t know. My starseed felt broken. I lost a part of myself. All the good in me, I think. I went through the motions, for years, but I didn’t have a heart to put into what I was doing. I don’t know if it’s the same for Dagon.”
He didn’t have all of the information, but he could do his best to imagine it.
“...I didn’t come to Earth to fall in love again. I didn’t even mean to. I thought I’d love Perce and that was it. In this lifetime, at least. I was supposed to go back to the Cauldron with him. We were supposed to be reborn together and start over again. I didn’t account for what would happen if we were separated–and brought back together again, like this. I thought the universe must have a purpose for putting us back together, though.”
He shook his head a bit and couldn’t imagine that it was just a coincidence that they were both here on this world, at this time, together. The probability of it was too astronomical for him to figure out.
“...I can ramble, I’m sorry. I spent a long time alone so I have a lot of talking to make up for. What I’m trying to say is that I think there was a reason we were brought together again. But I didn’t meet him and think that he should love me. There was no obligation. I don’t want him to be anyone but himself. And I hope you’re not under any pressure to be someone different for the sake of someone else. You should be yourself, first and foremost. You should be the version of you that makes you happiest. I don’t know what it’s like, to have to wonder about being compared to someone else, but…”
He glanced at Sessrumnir again, maybe a bit apologetically, and then returned his attention to her. “I don’t ever want him to feel like he has to be more than he is. I love him for who he is, now. In this life. I know the Chaos can complicate things. I’ve heard it clouds your mind and your starseed, and the pieces of you that carry over from one life in the next are buried behind the walls it builds in you. I’ve had my fair share of Chaos in my life. And all I can say is that it’s hard. My world wound up in a chokehold because of it. I think that’s the same for most of us that have come to Earth. I’ve met a few Senshi like me that have similar stories. But.”
Cybele hadn’t exactly told him what Retzian wanted to hear, and maybe to fill the silence he’d just been talking about whatever popped into his mind. Sessrumnir was tense, probably expecting an ambush still. Retzian looked tense, maybe expecting the same.
He pressed his lips together and shook his head.
“Maybe I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I wanted to have the answers to reassure you. Is there anything we can do to help?”
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 2:14 pm
Sessrumnir bristled, maybe visibly, when Alastor started to talk about his relationships. With him. With Percy.
It didn’t last.
He’d been burned by the Negaverse before. Sometimes quite literally. He’d seen what the Negaverse was capable of. He’d seen people be tricked into thinking they were going to have a friendly conversation, only to be hurt or worse.
He didn’t blame the people who attacked her. She could have attacked them. There was no way of knowing how honest she was being with them.
But Sessrumnir knew Alastor.
There was still tension in his shoulders and jaw, but with an exhale, he let some of it ease out.
“It’s a lot of pressure,” he admitted, his voice quiet and not just because he didn’t want anyone lurking nearby to overhear. “Knowing that there might be people who expect you to be different than you are. Knowing that you might never be good enough. Alastor might not compare me to the soulmate who sacrificed his life for him, but I compare myself.”
He didn’t know why he was saying anything. Maybe because Alastor was being so sincere and trying to talk to her and answer her questions. He never wanted to make things difficult for Alastor. Not if he could help it.
Sessrumnir didn’t look at Alastor as he spoke. He didn’t want him to see the guilt or shame in his eyes. The knowledge that he could never be Percy. Could never be the person Devyn had once fallen in love with and swore his life -- his lives to.
But he also knew that Devyn meant what he said. That he loved him for him. And not because he shared Percy’s starseed.
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 2:37 pm
The Captain’s eyes flickered to the Knight for just a moment before sliding back to Alastor and she nodded slowly, feeling her heart plummet slightly.
It was only what she had figured on. Only what she had thought was going to be the answer…but.
“Then perhaps I simply need to make my own way and if she and I meet again, we can figure things out at that point. But. maybe I’d be better forgetting things, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about comparing myself so often. I appreciate the two of you talking with me. There’s nothing that I can think of that you could help me with, but. I appreciate the offer.”
All she had to do now was find a Princess or…this Cosmos and get…everything else taken care of. Emily would have ideas for things…and she knew she could trust the other woman…and she would be a good ally to have.
“I suppose I should take my leave now.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 4:14 pm
Alastor’s attention had shifted to Sessrumnir while he spoke, and while he appreciated the candid nature of his answer, he felt guilty too. Sessrumnir might not have looked at him, but it wasn’t difficult to perceive his emotions, even without a magical artifact to tell him as much.
It was a conversation to have another time. He again resisted the urge to reach out and take his hand.
He hadn’t wanted to disappoint Retzian. He didn’t want her to leave with doubt and uncertainty or sadness. He didn’t want her to just leave, not when Oliver had expressed such hope in their meeting.
Alastor decided he wasn’t going to be disappointed to let her go now, but she seemed committed to choosing her own path. Breaking away from Chaos was a good start. Her future would be her own, and her decisions would be decided by her heart. Not the will of Metallia.
Not the obligation of someone’s words.
“That’s fair, Retzian. And wise. I’m sorry we didn’t have better news for you. I hope we can meet up again sometime. I’d like to get to know you under better circumstances.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2023 5:15 pm
He wasn’t going to lie. If that was the information she wanted, then he wasn’t going to make up some fairy tale life he was living. He wasn’t going to say that he didn’t wonder every now and then if it was his starseed that influenced Alastor’s love, or if it was him. Would they have fallen in love if he hadn’t had Percy’s starseed? Was it fair to Devyn to even think that way?
Sessrumnir believed Alastor. He trusted him with everything. He didn’t trust his own mind to be kind to him.
Maybe if she seemed to want to stick around and talk more he would have reassured her that everyone was different. That his experiences weren’t guaranteed to be what she experienced.
His presence there clearly did nothing to ease her. He would have to apologize to Oliver. At least, if she was going to purify as she’d told him.
If not, well… they had an idea of who she might be.
“Take care,” he said with a nod.
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