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 Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2023 7:06 am
Backdated to November “Dude, what?”
He was drunk. He was very drunk. Jack was pretty sure he was also magic, maybe even that his name wasn’t Jack. Well, it was. He was still him. He just had another name like this. A weird name. Kind of viking-like? That explained the outfit.
It didn’t explain what the ******** was going on.
He held some sort of crystal ball. Not one of those big ones that fortune tellers used. A smaller one. Like a baseball, almost. If baseballs were green and had weird fog swirling around inside. Jack— or that other viking-like name right there in his subconscious… Bilskirnir? Bilskirnir had no idea how he got it. All he knew was there was a monster, and he needed something to throw at it, so he grabbed for the first thing within reach. Then bam, magic!
How did he get on the ground again?
Oh, right, the monster knocked him over. Where had it come from, anyway? What was a wingless-bat-looking-monster-thing doing hobbling around Destiny City?
“Dude, what?”
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2023 7:07 am
Just when Valhalla thought that everyone in his life that could possibly have magical powers already had them, he was thrown another curveball. He’d had no intention of powering up. He’d seen the youma and his first thought was to get Jack away from it.
He hadn’t been fast enough. Jack ended up needing to defend himself and suddenly there was another knight of Jupiter.
Despite being drunk as well, Valhalla had enough sense to look around and make sure they were alone (to the best of his ability) before powering up. They were in an alley and it was late so maybe it was fine.
“Get up,” Valhalla reached for Jack’s arm. “Thing will try to eat you. Kinda.” It was difficult to form sentences when he was trying to not stumble around. He was going to just try and swing his staff at it to keep it away from them while they regained their bearings.
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2023 8:18 am
“Dude, what?”
Jack— Bilskirnir was pretty sure he was repeating himself. He was also at least twenty percent sure he might be hallucinating. There was a wingless bat hissing at them (or whatever monster bats with no wings did), kinda small, but maybe not as small as a normal bat. Knee-height. Puntable, if he could get a good kick in. Then there was Gallo. Chris. Only he didn’t look like Chris. He looked kind of like Thor, only not. The only reason Bilskirnir knew it was Chris was because he’d seen him transform.
s**t was weird.
Bilskirnir got to his feet, somehow. The alley swayed around them. (Why had they gone down the alley again?) The wingless bat hobbled toward them, snapping its little fangs.
“Do bats even eat people?” he asked. “What, is it a vampire bat? I thought those things had wings.”
Maybe it wasn’t a bat?
Whatever it was, Bilskirnir kicked at it when it got too close. The not-bat squeaked and hissed, then sank its teeth into the tip of his boot.
“Ow.”
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2023 8:21 am
“Not a bat,” Valhalla slurred, using his staff to stay upright, before trying to hit the creature again, this time at least knocking it away from Jack’s shoe.
“I’ll explain later. Gotta kill it first.”
Except he had horrible aim like this. Maybe he shouldn’t have let Jack convince him to keep drinking. He was usually good with watching his limits, but he’d ended up distracted.
And now he was paying for it, because the creature snapped at his leg as well.
He was glad for the armor on his leg at least, and quickly kicked the youma away. But how was he supposed to dust it when they could barely handle themselves?
Oh… maybe he would just have Kyrie do it.
“Step back, she might hit us too,” he warned and grabbed the front of Jack’s tunic to pull him backwards and away from where the ghostly eagle manifested and swooped at the youma with a bolt of lightning.
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2023 8:28 am
Jack— Bilskirnir stumbled. He held onto Chris — or whatever his name was now — to keep himself upright. He tried to shake the blur of alcohol from his vision, but that only made things worse.
“Dude, is that a patronus?”
The patronus-bird swooped and shrieked at the not-a-bat. There was a bolt of lightning. Not from the sky, from the patronus-bird. It struck the not-a-bat dead on, but also reverberated around the alley a bit. Bilskirnir thought he could feel it in his teeth. Kinda numb and tingly, but they were spared from the worst of it. Good thing, too, because it left the not-a-bat singed and swaying.
The not-a-bat squeaked pitifully. Bilskirnir almost felt bad for it. Poor thing was probably just hungry. He didn’t have any chance to help it, because as soon as it toppled over, the not-a-bat burst into dust.
“Damn,” Bilskirnir said. He let go of Thor-Chris and went to investigate the dust. “I didn’t know a patronus could do that. It wasn’t even a dementor. Wait, aren’t we anti-Rowling now? What are you doing with a patronus? This is ******** weird, man. Where’d you even get that helmet? You got your wand hidden in that fancy staff or something?”
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2023 8:30 am
Jack was exhausting. Valhalla rubbed his temple as he tried to process everything Jack -- whatever his name was now -- was saying.
“What? No, it’s…”
It probably wasn’t a good idea to explain things now. Not when they were clearly intoxicated. Jack was probably going to wake up in the morning and think it was a dream or something.
“I’ll explain everything just… let me call an Uber or something,” he mumbled and powered down. “Um, just… think of yourself as you were before and the magic should change you back,” he suggested as he pulled out his phone to stare at it. But nothing on it made sense.
Eventually he pressed the buttons that seemed most familiar and held it up to his ear.
It took a few rings but when the person on the other line answered, Chris couldn’t help but smile brightly, clearly enamored.
“Hey, babe. You busy?”
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2023 1:12 pm
Bilskirnir shook his head again.
That was, of course, another mistake. The alley swayed just like last time. He put a hand against the nearest wall to steady himself, blinking through the worsening blur as Thor-Chris told him how to not be magic anymore. Bilskinir wasn’t sure he wanted to be not-magic if there were weird monsters roaming around, not to mention patronus-birds that could shoot lightning.
Wait, where did the patronus-bird go?
Freaking weird, man.
Jack thought of himself as Jack, and then he was Jack. He was always Jack, even when he was Bilskir-whatever. But his clothes were back to normal. Less viking-like. Jeans and a basic shirt and his coat. He patted his pockets to make sure all the important stuff was still there. Phone. Wallet. Yup, all good.
He looked down at himself. Blinked a few more times. Slowly. Because he was drunk. Thor-Chris was Chris again. And calling Paris, by the sound of it. If he didn’t know any better, Jack would wonder if any of the past five minutes even happened.
Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe someone had slipped something into one of his drinks.
Was magic really real?
He was so, so drunk.
“Dude, what?”
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