[R] Feet on the Earth {Cybele & Solaris}

[stari_maga]

Something had shifted since the last time that Cybele had gone up to her asteroid, with Encke. Auras seemed a bit sharper now, when she made her way through the streets. It also seemed like she might be able to feel them from farther in the distance than she had before, though it was hard to measure. It was all well and good, although Cybele would have preferred that if her world was planning to give her some kind of boon, it would have given her the Transcendence that she'd been begging for for months, that she'd needed for years.

She pushed those frustrations aside for now. When she went up again, she'd complain to the Great Tree about it.

In the meantime, it was easy enough to catch an Order aura on the wind, even if it was only a basic one. When she headed in that direction, finding herself in a park full of vibrant leaves, it also wasn't hard to find the senshi herself.

Cybele didn't think she could miss wings.

"Good evening," she said as she approached with a smile and a wave. "I remember you from Alastor's-" she paused, looking for the right word. Party certainly wasn't it, but battle didn't seem like it either. "Mission."

Sounded a bit Negaverse, but it was the best she could do.

"It was nice, seeing you there. I don't think I caught your name, though. Mine is Cybele."

She gave a deep nod, nearly a bow.

Kaefaux

 

[Kaefaux]

To say Solaris was a bit more… sober than usual was an understatement. The worst of her injuries were at least healed, or nearly so. Bruises remained, and she was being careful with her right arm…

At least she was left-handed.

She sat on a bench, sideways so her lower back could rest against the armrest while giving her wings plenty of room to not be crushed. One leg was raised, giving her a surface to press her sketchbook. Figures from another world, another time, began to form on the page. Nothing around her, but figments from memories. Creatures she’d not seen in so, so long…

One particular thing, almost looking like it was made of a leaf, had her focus when she finally lifted her head. An energy signature trickled into her awareness. An Eternal. Order. As they approached, Solaris figured it wasn’t Alastor at least, nor Metis, nor Athalia… and she straightened in her spot when the young woman in light green and purple stepped into the area.

She’d seen her before, Solaris realized—and yes, there it was. The other’s introduction confirmed her curiosity, and she grinned. "It’s good to see you again, yes. I didn’t get much of a chance to meet others there—" She’d been too busy processing everything that had happened, and speaking to Ganymede about Royal Senshi and purification… things that still boggled her mind— "—but it’s good to meet you now, Cybele. I’m Solaris."

She adjusted herself, moving her legs so she was sitting cross-legged on the bench, closing up her sketchbook to hold it and her pencil in her lap, and motioned towards the empty other end. "Sit, please. Had you already known Alastor, or…?" Not that it mattered one way or another, but it was introductory small-talk, and she saw no harm in it.

stari_maga

 

[stari_maga]

Had she met Alastor before she'd shown up on his world a few days ago? It might have just been meant as a polite question, but it brought a wider smile to Cybele's face, and what sounded like a hint of a stifled laugh through her nose.

"I met Alastor at a family dinner," she said. "An incredibly awkward one. He had been asking around for people who had been dead for a thousand years."

A moment passed, and Cybele looked thoughtful as she stepped forwards and perched on the edge of the bench. She smoothed her skirts out into a half-circle around her. "Although I suppose that's his story to tell. I can tell you, though, that he might be the boyfriend of someone who might be my brother."

She had to hold back another giggle at how convoluted it all was. "Which I'm sure clears everything up."

She tilted her head slightly and looked over to the other woman, curious. She didn't stare at her wings or at her skin for any length of time, although she did glance at each in turn. Then, she met her eyes. "So, how did you end up there?" she asked.

Kaefaux

 

[Kaefaux]

The smile was certainly welcomed, and Solaris' only grew in response, curious what had brought on such lovely laughter. Sounds she wished people exchanged more often.

To hear he'd been asking about long dead people at a family dinner raised a lot of questions, but also just made Solaris all the more amused. At her back, her wings flexed, stretching out and flapping absently.

"How'd people react to questions like that?" She wasn't going to pry into who he was asking about, but their responses were free game she figured.

So Cybele was... Sessrumnir's sister? Oh, so many more questions. At least, given how Devyn had mentioned the new Knight... she felt her assumptions were pretty accurate. It sent a warm, fuzzy feeling curling through her chest and limbs. Didn't stop her from missing Percy, no, but...

"I got called," she said simply, an abrupt answer to a reasonable question. One that drew her out of her memories. The distant look drifted from her eyes, and Solaris laughed lightly. It felt easier to just... explain. Be upfront, fill in context. "I'd met Alastor... over a thousand years ago. We seem to have faced similar enough things, from what I can understand and... well, assume. It's why I was so happy to see so many helping against Chaos to reclaim Alastor. I hadn't realized that was even possible."

Her gaze drifted down to her closed sketchbook, fingertips grazing its surface. "And why I'm glad he's met good people here. He deserves that happiness."

stari_maga

 

[stari_maga]

Cybele might have been more closed off under other circumstances, but since the other woman already seemed to have a decent relationship with Alastor, she was easier to lure into gossip.

"At first I didn't know that he was asking about anything strange. I didn't know who it was, that was all. The others were the ones talking like they had to spare his feelings the moment he walked in the door, and they were being all vague, but obviously, he found out in the end." She gave a slight shrug. There were still a few details that she was keeping to herself, like the fact that she'd told the others to spit out the truth when the tension had gotten to the point where she'd wanted to cut it with a knife, or the fact that he'd left in tears.

She could keep some family secrets.

When Solaris said that she'd met Alastor over a thousand years ago, Cybele nodded, not seeming too surprised. "I heard there were a few others in the same situation," she said, "Which means I'm glad, too, that we can take back worlds that are in that kind of situation. It was more intense than I thought. I haven't felt that kind of Chaos since-"

She glanced into the distance for a moment, but didn't spend long chewing on her own secrets. "Since I was in the Negaverse."

Kaefaux

 

[Kaefaux]

Solaris couldn't keep herself from snickering even if she bothered to try. She could imagine people trying to tip-toe around subjects--Solaris herself had expected to meet a new Alastor, after all, when she'd encountered him. It wouldn't have been easy, she figured, for them to confirm... whatever people had been reborn.

Though she could imagine the room being somber, the news being difficult... she still laughed. Mostly because it was better than becoming somber herself over it all. "Oh man... that... that really is a s**t conversation to have. But picturing people trying to toe around it is... just really funny?"

Maybe she just had a darker sense of humor, given everything.

The casual acceptance from Cybele made Solaris' shoulders go more lax. For a moment, anyway, before a bit of tension eased back in, and she had to roll her shoulders. "Maybe. I haven't figured out-- wait."

Cybele finished her thought, the words cutting Solaris off cold. She stared at the other woman. Her face didn't have cracks in it. The Eternal bow-wings weren't... twisted. She had an Order signature.

Her mind drifted to what Ganymede had said about purification.

Her temper was beginning to inch up, and Solaris had to swallow it down. Force composure into place. "...can you please explain what you mean by, in the Negaverse?" Her voice wasn't as bright and chipper as she spoke--not frosty, but perhaps after the previous warmth, a neutral tone could come across that way.

stari_maga

 

[stari_maga]

Solaris's laugh was contagious. Before she knew it, Cybele was laughing too, and this time it wasn't held-back, huffy breaths. She was snickering. "In retrospect," she said, when she caught a breath, "It is sort of hilarious."

Terribly awkward at the time, of course, but it made a good story now.

Although the levity cut off abruptly as Solaris suddenly went cooler. Cybele felt the other woman's eyes flick to her wings, and to her skin, where the cracks had been. It was a reaction that Cybele hadn't experienced before. When she talked about her corruption, which she did, all the time, because she could hardly hide it when it was the reason that she couldn't remember anything from more than a few years ago, people were usually quick to gloss over the bad part of things and go on to the part where they were proud of her for getting thorough it, for purifying.

"I mean that I was in the Negaverse," she said, with a shrug, because there was no denying it. Honestly, it was a bit refreshing that someone wasn't just brushing it off, although Cybele hoped that her past didn't completely kill her chances of being friends with the other woman.

She was already finding that she liked her.

"I mean I was corrupted. I was betrayed and captured and they shoved Chaos into my starseed. It destroyed my memories and bent my will, to an extent. So, yes, I served them for a few months until my friends were able to get through to me and get me out."

Her own voice was cool as well, matter of fact. She'd accepted what had happened to her at this point.

Kaefaux

 

[Kaefaux]

When it came to talks of Chaos, Solaris couldn't keep up her mirth and jokes. It wasn't possible, at least not without a heavy dose of sarcasm and snark. She didn't dislike Cybele enough to do that to her. The neutral, cooler tone and expression was only out of respect to that.

But she listened. Still, stone set where she sat, Solaris did listen. Chaos destroyed. It was sickly sweet, corrosive, infecting, rotting... It'd taken roughly eight centuries, but it'd entirely wiped out her people--really, even sooner. They'd long tipped the scale of no return due to the ever reducing amount of flora and fauna, never mind clean water and islands crushing their settlements. Even all their attempts at conservation and prevention, sustainability wasn't possible after a point.

Having children became a curse instead of a celebration--dooming another life to pain and loss that it'd never asked for.

No, Solaris was giving Cybele a kindness in her mind by not hissing and spitting at her after hearing the other had been part of Chaos.

So she listened.

Corruption, betrayal. Forced against her will, but she got out. Solaris thought of the strong magics she'd felt blow throughout Alastor during the battle. It connected with what Ganymede mentioned about purification, removing the infection of Chaos.

"How did they get you out?" Again, her tone was neutral. Not clipped, not stern. Just... neutral. "Can you elaborate on what you mean that Chaos bent your will to an extent?"

This was another area that, since arriving on Earth, she knew she had no information on. While she still wasn't sure what to make of it all, asking questions was the only way to solve both those questions.

stari_maga

 

[stari_maga]

The questions were fair, and Cybele was far enough removed from the situation at this point that she did not flinch at them, although she did remain silent for a moment. Her gaze flicked from a patch of bright leaves on a nearby tree to the line of a skyscraper in the distance, but not quite to Solaris's face, as she tried to think back and make sure she didn't say the wrong thing.

"My friends like to brush aside the things I did, bringing it all back to the fact that I was under the influence of Chaos at the time," she told the autumn air. "The people I killed, mostly. The starseeds I destroyed."

Others might have brushed it aside, but she hadn't forgotten.

"And, it was an influence. It's hard to describe it now. That time feels distant, sort of, like a nightmare." She pressed her lips together. "It was heavy. That's probably the best word for it. It was heavy and cold, and it affected my empathy a lot. I never felt guilty for what I did, no matter how dirty the work was. Then, I'd lost everything, so I was depressed on top of the rest of it. I didn't have the energy to question orders."

Slowly, she turned to the other woman. "But I wasn't a puppet on strings. I had a will. I made choices. I take responsibility for what happened. The guilt haunts me, now."

Whatever Solaris was going to say to her, she deserved. If she decided to turn her back, that was fine. If she decided to punch Cybele in the face, she could accept that, too.

"My friends got through to me eventually. The Negaverse wasn't very kind to me, even when I was in their ranks. They treated me like a prize, called me things like the acquisition to my face. It was on this side of things who treated me like a human even when I was acting like a monster."

The topic was dark, but in that moment, a small smile came to Cybele's face.

"I remember when it all came to a head," she said. "There was a battle, and I went after Ganymede alone. I broke a starseed in front of her face. I thought she'd kill me for it, and then at least the nightmare would be over. Instead, she told me I was worth saving. She offered to stand by side while I rebuilt everything. She offered to be my family."

The smile widened. "That's why I'm here today."

Kaefaux

 

[Kaefaux]

Pressing the subject wasn't something she found any use in--she asked her questions, and gave Cybele the time she needed to gather her answers. It gave her time, too, to breath in slowly, exhale even slower. Keep herself in control. Emotional outbursts never helped anyone.

She certainly could speak from experience on that.

As Cybele spoke again, Solaris' lips pressed hard together, twitching towards the side. Dismissing someone's actions... giving them justifications... they were just excuses. Cybele spoke of how things could happen--eliminating her empathy, the eventual lack of interest in life...

But she didn't excuse her actions.

Hearing she broke a starseed made Solaris flinch visibly, hissing slightly. A reaction she couldn't control. Someone was gone for good. Never to return to the Cauldron, or to any world. Their loved ones would perhaps long for someone who would never return in any lifetime.

The darkest thought in her mind wondered if it'd been one of her loved ones that Cybele had erased--

Solaris closed her eyes, pushing the dread and panic and hate away. Cybele spoke like a soldier, was something Solaris noted, and her expression softened for it. She spoke of killing, and of being in a point she didn't want to keep going.

"How old are you, do you think?"

It was the simplest question Solaris had asked, but it held... the most weight. This young woman spoke like a soldier. Kyrie knew those thoughts. She'd lived it herself... over the span of centuries.

Looking at Cybele, she didn't look any older than her--well. Relatively.

I was worth saving. ... I rebuilt ...

Redemption. A catalyst of change... for the better.

It made her heart clench. Old, old voices stirred in her mind, the idealistic version of her peoples' faith. Concepts that could be so, so good... but so easily manipulated for personal gain.

Purification was, it seemed, the very core of what her people had once believed. That gods place a catalyst in every path, and even when someone has committed horrible crimes... they still had a chance to change. Not erase what they've done, for that could never be done. Not all changes were good. Some were far, far worse than the original state. But others...

Others were like Cybele.

stari_maga

 

[stari_maga]

Solaris hissed, hearing she'd destroyed a starseed, and Cybele could do nothing but nod sadly. She knew. She knew. There was enough going on in her present life to mostly keep her mind off of the past, but if she was off on a patrol where nothing turned up, or if she was in bed with the others asleep, the memories would come back to her and her stomach would twist and twist.

I am in blood stepped in so far, that, should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er, was something that she'd quoted at people, back when she was trying to convince them that there wasn't hope for her. To a point, she'd been right. Returning had been tedious. It would have been easier, probably, to ride the wave until she died in battle, like Macbeth in the story.

Returning had been the hardest thing she'd ever done.

It was worth it. It was so worth it, but it was still awful.

The next question was easier, although probably still more complicated for her than it would have been for someone else.

"I'm twenty seven," she said, "Although if we go by what I can remember, it's two. One and a half? I don't even remember everything from when I was corrupted."

Another point of tedium.

"Which, it's not like I don't feel like an adult." She worked, she fought, she was thinking about proposing to her partners. "But, I do feel young."

Kaefaux

 

[Kaefaux]

Twenty-seven. Meaning when this all happened, she was... twenty-five? Twenty-four? Depending on how long that was.

She was so young.

Not even taking into consideration the fact her memories were wiped. Like data, just erased. Starseeds weren't archives on Sessrumnir.

"You are young," Solaris said softly. "An adult, yes, but still young."

A hesitation, and Solaris let out a breath, tipping her head back to look up at the sky a moment. Slowly, more words ventured out, "I... say I'm twenty, because that's easiest. I don't really know how old I am, but I was... about ready to graduate a first level of... eh. Call it a flight academy, for people looking to become pilots. That's when Realta found me." The memories drifted through her mind, gaze unfocused, but she tried to focus on her intent here. "I was only about a year or so into being a senshi when I first had to kill someone I was told was a threat to my people."

The bitterness as she spoke perhaps told more than she intended--someone she was told was a threat.

A political threat, maybe.

Her gaze was gentle as she looked back to Cybele. The smile was empty, even if it was present on her face. "You can't change your choices. But I'm so, so sorry you were in a position where they were even options for you to take."

Adjusting where her art materials sat on her lap, she held her arms out towards Cybele. "Mind if I give you a hug?"

stari_maga

 

[stari_maga]

Cybele felt young compared to anyone her own age. She even felt it, sometimes, around Siegfried and Albireo, who were purification cases like herself, but who had only lost part of their memories.

She almost did feel like a child compared to someone who had been staring death in the face for the past thousand years, if her situation was truly like Alastor's. Almost. It seemed like it should be like it should be like oil and water, when these ancient people showed up on Earth with too many memories, and she had too few.

Instead, there was a knowing look in her eyes when Solaris told her about her past, about orders to kill.

She'd talked about something similar with Alastor. Despite what should have
been, it seemed like these ancient people were the ones who had as many scars as she did.

"I'm sorry you were put in a situation where you had to kill," she said, and there was no judgement in her eyes, just a sort of understanding. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

She wished that things were better here. She wished that Earth could be an actual refuge, instead of another war.

At the moment, she couldn't offer that, though. All she could do was lean into the other woman's embrace, and give her a squeeze around the shoulderblades, trying her hardest to avoid the wings, as well as the sketchbook. "I don't mind hugs," she said, although she did pull away instead of lingering.

"I'm sorry if I shocked you, talking about corruption," she added, after a moment. "I'm sorry if I shocked you with my past. I'd understand, if you'd have wanted to hold it against me."

A moment passed, and the smile returned to her face, softer. "But I think I'd be a bit happier, if you didn't let it stop us from being friends. You seem sweet."

Kaefaux

 

[Kaefaux]

It wasn't the easiest of positions to give or receive hugs in, but Solaris noticed Cybele's careful movements near her wings and was appreciative of it. Small accidental touches were fine, as were those expected in closer contact. But the other didn't know that, and was doing what she could to respect her space.

It spoke of how large the contrast was between Cybele now, and how she said she was before. Solaris gave her a light squeeze--at least they were both pro-hug people.

When Cybele sat back, Solaris gave a small snort of a laugh. "It's not something I've encountered before, so far as I can remember--corruption and purification, I mean. That part, I'm still working on understanding. The cost of being a soldier, though?" She gave a one-sided shrug, offering an equally lopsided smile. "I'd be up there on the hypocrite list. And that's saying something."

She shook her head, long locks of her hair swaying. "My hands are far from clean. I know that. I can't hold your past against you, at least not now that you're back." Sure, she knew she'd never destroyed starseeds. Everyone she'd killed had their souls sent back to the Cauldron, far as she figured. But focusing on that felt... useless at this point.

It wouldn't teach Cybele anything she didn't already know. In the old faith, it wouldn't serve as a catalyst for any change that Cybele wasn't already undergoing, or already had completed. It would just be vitriol for vitriol's sake.

The offer of friendship, though, made her smile grow. And laugh at the other's observation. "I'd like that. Not sure how sweet I am, feel free to revise that opinion..."

She had more questions. Wanted to pry about... all of it. But she held... most back.

"Just... one last thing, I'm sorry. But what... what do you think needs to be done with the Negaverse, then, from what you've seen? Can they all be purified?"

Solaris knew she was a stranger in this war. The thoughts of someone who lived through so much of this... weighed heavy on the scales. Far, far heavier than her own opinions at this point.

stari_maga

 

[stari_maga]

Cybele still perched on the edge of the bench, her back straight. She was hardly one to slouch, but there was something more relaxed about her posture all the same after the hug.

"You'll likely find out more about corruption and purification if you spend more time on Earth," she said, and she might have still been speaking formally, just out of habit, but much of the tension was gone from her voice, too. "There are many others out there who can share their stories with you. You might have already met a few and not even known it. For example, I know just from the ones on Alastor-"

She squinted skywards for a few moments, trying to remember just whose faces she'd picked out in the crowd. "There was me. There was my boyfriend Siegfried, the Neptune knight, and the unicorn senshi leading her court, and the electrical senshi and the Earth knight who ended up going out, I think to some of the ruins. There might have been even more, but those are the ones who I know for sure spent time in the Negaverse."

It sent a warm feeling through Cybele's chest, honestly, to list them all out like that. She wasn't the most optimistic one, when it came to the war, or the future, or getting people free from Chaos, but there were success stories.

"Which, also speaks to how many people can be saved, I think. Although, if you say everyone?" Cybele's smile turned a tad bitter. Her remaining toes curled stiffly inside her shoes, and the ache in her feet flared up at the memory of what had happened last time she'd reached out to someone who deep into Chaos.

She didn't speak on that, though. Things had already gotten dark enough for her acquaintance.

"Some people say yes, save everyone, and I don't argue too harshly against them because that kind of logic is why I'm here today. But, for the ones who are in as deep as some of them are, there's a price for that salvation, if it's possible at all. The ones who don't care if they hurt people, I mean, or the ones who choose the Negaverse again and again for the power, even once they see the depths of what they're working for."

Her fingers curled against the edge of the bench. "How many starseeds will they eat in between conversations about morality, or freedom, or whatever will tempt them away?"

For her, it had been many. She was grateful to the people who had reached out to her, but when she made her current decisions, she thought about how many people might have been saved if someone had just snapped her neck.

"I already sent one of them back to the Cauldron for torturing civilians. I'll do it again if I need to." She was still relaxed. Her gaze wasn't particularly steely. It was just the reality of the situation. Her smile was a bit wry, though.

"I suppose it's too late for me to avoid the situations where I have to make those decisions."

Kaefaux