Welcome to Gaia! ::

It was starting to get cold again. It had happened so fast. It was as if the Earth itself found it silly, that they thought they would leave in six weeks. Now the Vanguard had seen the passing of the seasons once -- and now they were on the verge of seeing it again, a second time.

It was getting cold, and Fae-Fae hadn't planted her seed anywhere yet.

Instead, it had spent weeks sitting carefully wrapped up and kept in refrigeration until she could find the right place to plant it. It was far too precious to give it anything but the highest standard of care. She didn't want to mess up and present Lyndin with a wasted seed. Not after the look on his face when he had discovered what it was.

It was getting cold.

She couldn't waste any more time. This was important. She had the instructions. She knew what to do. She was a Vanguardian. This was an assignment she should have taken on with no hesitation. Her plant should have sprouted out of the dirt weeks ago. But it remained unplanted, a tiny silver treasure that she would cup in her hands and stare at, the way she did with Gavaen's star eeed a year ago.

The sound of Lyndin's voice made Fae-Fae perk up, but when their eyes met, her lips puckered a bit and she reflexively jerked her gaze away. Not that she wasn't pleased to see him. -- it was the round pupils. They never, ever, looked right on his face (or anyone else's, for that matter) and trying to look at them made her nauseous.

A human's pupils just bulged, in and out. They didn't have the subtlety of Velencian eyes, and all the shapes they moved through. It made the Commodore's face impossible to read when it was normally so easy.

"Cᴏᴍᴍᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ Lʏɴᴅɪɴ. I ᴡᴀs ɴᴏᴛ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ. I'ᴍ sᴏʀʀʏ," she answered, guiltily.

She hadn't stopped being embarrassed at herself since they had returned from Astraya. She had written an incredibly harsh review of herself the next day. There was not a single thing in that situation that she had done right, in her eyes. She had suggested that perhaps it was wrong for her to accept the position of Corporal when she did. She certainly hadn't acted like one.

The little seed was easily visible between her dark fingertips, as her gaze fixed on it again. "I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɴᴏ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴇss ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪs ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ."

The reassurance made the knot between Fae-Fae's eyes loosen a bit, if only momentarily. She smiled a little, all while giving a little tilt of her head that said the rest -- that she really hoped the Commodore was following his own advice.

Knowing him, probably not.

Ever since Sailor Cosmos had visited Fae-Fae nearly a year ago, the air around her was almost never still. It was always stirring, a winding breath of Velenian air with her at the epicenter. It lazily teased at the browning blades of Earth-grass by her boots, as he offered to sit with her. She was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall of the house. It didn't really matter.

So she nodded and offered a patch of ground that she would also offer to Caelyna, or Naeria. To Fysarius or Vyn. And as he sat, she continued staring at the seed pinched between her fingers.

"I ᴀᴍ ᴄᴏɴғᴜsᴇᴅ. Yᴏᴜ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴜs ᴛᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ Eᴀʀᴛʜ, ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ ᴜs ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴛʀᴜsᴛ ɪᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs. Dᴏᴇs ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇᴅ?"

Lyndin dropped his glamour, and Fae-Fae made no effort to hide her sigh of relief. The air stirred along with it, teasing the grass between Lyndin's fingers. It was soothing to see his normal eyes and normal skin and normal clothes.

She didn't respond directly when offered a pot, still uneasy. She was less confused, but still uncertain. Her arms tightened around her knees a little bit. She was hesitating to say anything.'

"Sᴀɪʟᴏʀ Cᴏsᴍᴏs sᴀɪᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ. Sʜᴇ sᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Eᴀʀᴛʜ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀs ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ."

There was no need to clarify where or when Fae-Fae had heard this. It was obvious. It was when she had come to take Gavaen to the Cauldron. Naturally, it had remained on her mind ever since. From such a figure, it had to mean something. She still was not entirely sure what. But...

"Iɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴛ ʙᴇɪɴɢs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪᴇ sᴏ I ᴄᴀɴ ʟɪᴠᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ, sɪʀ."

Her face became a knot of shame, with other things lurking under the surface. Guilt. Disgust at herself. And horror. Horror at the meat industry. Horror at what she was doing to avoid it. Horror at how she couldn't escape an animal's death being part of her everyday survival. Eggs didn't work. Cheese didn't work. The human vegan supplements she had found didn't work.

She was a burden on Velencya, she knew, and now she was a burden on the Earth as well. So...

"Pᴇʀʜᴀᴘs ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɴ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴏᴘʀɪᴀᴛᴇ ᴀssɪɢɴᴍᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ."

And she slowly offered the seed back to him. The sadness in her face grew as she did so. She had the look she usually did when she quietly came to pick up her rations, back when they were still in supply -- the look of someone who had learned to apologize for needing to eat.

It was tempting.

It was probably easy for Lyndin to see how badly Fae-Fae wanted to go home. The feeling hung around her form like a damp sheet, that she kept pulling tighter around herself even though it was cold and uncomfortable.

Passage back to Velencya was something the Commodore always offered so easily during times of emotional hardship.She wondered why.

Slowly, she shook her head, though doing so didn't put her at ease.Instead there was a strained acceptance. There was no path where she could be completely satisfied with the morality of her choices. She had to decide risking an occasional animal life was worth continuing her work to help Velencya survive. It was terrible to make that choice. She was going to stay, and have regrets for it.

The Commodore's hand made Fae-Fae's look so tiny. She took a second to appreciate that before slipping it free.

"I ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀᴍɪɴᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇs ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴇʟɪᴍɪɴᴀᴛᴇ. Wʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ Cᴏᴜɴᴄɪʟ sᴀʏ ɪғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ?"

She realized after finishing that thought that she had been handling the little thing with her bare hands the whole time -- and her eyes went wide in panic over the possibility it had happened already. Now she was scrambling a little more assertively to get the little seed in Lyndin's hands. Maybe his superior, defect-free genome would fix the damage.

Botany was not her strong suit.

"I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴇғᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴛ, sɪʀ."

The Corporal continued withering from anxiety and shame.