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 Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2022 6:22 pm
Vyn arrived late at night, after several hours spent tossing and turning without a natural descent into sleep.
He came unannounced, and regretted it as soon as he appeared on the warp pad. He should have stayed at the house and used his Source Stone to help him sleep. The Commodore didn’t rest as often as Vyn thought he should, but to just assume that he would be awake seemed thoughtless. Vyn didn’t want to disturb him, or interrupt in the middle of an important project.
But Vyn was restless and anxious. Neither his doubts nor the sense of unease that had come over him during his time on Astraya had left him. The only difference between then and now was that he’d done all his crying and was much less likely to shed a tear over it.
Or so he thought, at least.
Vyn stepped off of the warp pad on socked feet. He hadn’t even put on his uniform, simply grabbed his ComTech and left before he could think better of it. In the soft human pants and oversized shirt he wore to sleep, the absence of formality seemed acute, and, now that his nerves were getting the better of him, not exactly comfortable.
Even so, he moved forward. In his hands he clutched a yellow box of teabags. He fiddled with the carton as he sought out the Commodore, forcing his breathing to remain slow and even despite the rapid beating of his heart.
“Sir?” he called quietly.
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2022 6:48 pm
As expected, Lyndin was awake and busy. Regardless of the hour, he always seemed to be doing something, and so far none of the Vanguard had caught him sleeping. Lyndin was in the kitchen when Vyn arrived; he was washing his hands and seemed like he was a bit lost in thought. It was late enough that he hadn’t expected company, as evidenced by the fact that he was in what looked like sweatpants and an undershirt. And socks, because this place got cold. “Vyn,” he greeted warmly, but there was an expression of concern on his face. He knew the hour. He could imagine what Vyn should be doing, given his attire. And yet, he was here. “Is everything alright? Come in, make yourself comfortable.” He turned off the water and reached for the hand towel as he turned to face Vyn.
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2022 8:30 pm
Vyn came to an abrupt stop.
All he could do was stare, for a moment or two. Perhaps longer. Long enough that his own lack of professionalism began to seem even more overt, though he clearly wasn’t as out of place as he’d thought he’d be. He wondered if he might look foolish standing there, eyes a bit big, mouth slightly parted, like he meant to say something but suddenly found himself without words.
The Commodore was not in uniform. This came to Vyn as something of a shock. Even at this late hour, Vyn had expected to find him if not in full regalia then at least halfway there. Even if he’d found the Commodore sleeping, it would not have struck Vyn as odd to see him still in uniform, perhaps using his cape as a blanket. (Which didn’t necessarily seem comfortable to Vyn, and would certainly have Aliez fretting later if Vyn told him, but this was the Commodore. The uniform seemed to almost be a part of him.)
“I…” Vyn began, but it came out as a croak, so he clamped his mouth shut before he could embarrass himself further.
He would kick himself if he wouldn’t look insane for doing so. Stubbornly, he reminded himself that it wasn’t as if he’d never seen the Commodore out of uniform. He’d seen him in a human glamor. Once. A year ago. When he’d gotten into a bit of trouble with Aliez at the mall.
This was… different. Something about attire meant for sleep seemed personal, private. (Intimate, almost, though Vyn thought the word too heavy.)
“I’m sorry for the intrusion,” he said when he found his voice again. Vyn cast his gaze downward and continued to fiddle with the box of tea. “I know we have time scheduled soon, but I… I couldn’t sleep and I’ve already overburdened Aliez enough as it is, so… I don’t really know what I was thinking, but… I brought tea… if you’d like some. It’s—... Supposedly this blend reduces stress and promotes relaxation.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2022 9:33 pm
Lyndin tilted his head just slightly as he regarded Vyn, and there was visible concern in the lines of his face that softened only after he offered the tea. He didn’t seem uncomfortable or unhappy for Vyn to see him like this. It was unexpected, but he wasn’t embarrassed by it. “It’s no intrusion, Vyn. You’re welcome here any time. Would you like me to put some of that tea on? I’ll make us some and we can sit and talk, if you like. I’ve got time.” And, he seemed to mean it. It wasn’t just that he was wearing something comfortable; he had a few computers that looked like they were running backups, but they didn’t require his attention, and maybe he was actually going to take it easy tonight. He moved aside, as if to make space for Vyn if he wanted to join him, but the tea wouldn't take too long to get started. The living room was probably more comfortable so he was ready to invite him to take a seat if he'd rather wait there, but Lyndin wasn't one to waste time. Not when he was worried. “Tell me what’s keeping you awake?”
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Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2022 5:15 pm
“Oh, no, Sir. I can—... Allow me.”
The kitchen was not exactly Vyn’s comfort zone, but he wasn’t completely useless in one either. Though most of what he ate at the Vanguard house came to him courtesy of Aliez, he was no stranger to making tea. This was not his first late night experimenting with human herbal remedies while his thoughts ran wild. (That those nights seemed fairly frequent as of late seemed to indicate the remedies in question were ineffective, but at least making endless cups of tea gave him something to focus on other than his own racing thoughts.)
Vyn kept his gaze averted as he worked, more shy than he wanted to be. Despite the Commodore’s reassurances, he could not help but feel as if he had strayed somewhere he should not have.
“I have been… preoccupied, I suppose, with worries and doubts,” he said once the water was heating. For another moment, he picked at the edge of the box he’d brought with him, then forced himself to stop and fished out two teabags to drop into a pair of mugs. “About the Vanguard, and myself. Mostly myself, I think.
“There was—... A few months ago, when the humans celebrated their star festival, and several of us were whisked away… We were in danger, but we worked well together, I thought. Better than we did that night when—... On the hilltop.”
Vyn cast a brief glance toward the Commodore, then dropped his gaze again. He wrapped his hands around one of the waiting mugs so he wouldn’t be compelled to fiddle with something else.
“I thought we’d made progress, and I was happy, and… maybe a little proud. But then on Astraya there were instances of negligence and carelessness, and… I know I was too emotional. I think that might have spread to some of the others, and… well… you saw how we were when we returned. I—... They are my friends. I care for them all very much, so I think, when I am disappointed, or when I have doubts about their sense of urgency and commitment, I feel it worse than I would if we were just colleagues.
“And so… I thought of Caedus, and you…” Vyn continued, a little hesitant, “and I wondered if, in the early days of the Vanguard, there was ever a time you might have… struggled, or had doubts. Or if you ever have doubts now, or… how you can be so calm and make everything seem so simple, even the things that are not.”
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Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2022 11:48 pm
Lyndin seemed content to step aside and let Vyn work. He didn’t say it, but he assumed that maybe he was more comfortable with tasks to busy himself with. There was a sort of security in such tasks–a logical explanation for being distracted and taking time to shift from work to words. He leaned back against the counter and gave Vyn all the space he needed. He had his full attention, and Lyndin listened with respect and consideration. He understood Vyn’s hesitance when he finished his question. And yet, he didn’t seem upset. “Constantly,” he answered easily. “Back when the Vanguard was young, I didn’t know what I was doing. I was afraid that I’d make a mistake and someone would get hurt. Or that I’d disappoint the people counting on me. Even now, I worry about such things. I was complacent on Velencya. I know it very well, and my experience in this universe has prepared me for nearly everything. Earth, I think, might not have been on that list. It’s different than most civilized worlds. There’s more here to consider than I could have factored in. Between the Senshi and Knights, and the Negaverse.” He shook his head. “I don’t think in absolutes. I can’t. I reflect on my choices often, but it’s easy to criticize yourself in hindsight. Working in the moment, you don’t always know what options you have available to you. I have learned to predict certain outcomes, but even I’m wrong sometimes. Even in failure, there is something to learn from. That’s what I look for. It helps me stay calm to know that there is still a lesson in everything. But when I was younger, I was still learning that. I would get frustrated when my teammates didn’t take things as seriously as I did. Or when they would make mistakes I’d never dream of. But I had to learn that we were all doing our best, just in different ways. I was trying to make them fit into the same mold I was in, and that isn’t always the case. It was a learning process. And, a long one. There’s so much to take into account, you don’t always even know what you’re looking at until years later.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:35 pm
Vyn forced his nerves to behave as well as he could, lifting his gaze as the Commodore spoke. He thought it would have been rude to do anything else, that the Commodore deserved his undivided attention, after Vyn had come here uninvited, and brought up topics that, while relevant, might edge toward personal.
As he listened, some of the tension Vyn brought with him began to ease. Out of uniform, leaning against the kitchen counter, it was easier to see the Commodore as just a man, rather than the god-like figure he’d been for all of Vyn’s life.
Vyn could grow to like it. Perhaps a bit too much.
“It’s almost strange to imagine you like that,” Vyn said. He looked back down at the pair of mugs, less confident in addressing his own thoughts. “Younger. Afraid. Frustrated. Like us, almost, except… I think you must have always been exceptional.”
Vyn traced the handle of one mug with a thumb, following the outer curve from top to bottom, then turned the mug between his hands — a soft scrape along the counter.
“I’ve often found it difficult to cope with our circumstances,” he admitted. “And with my place here. When we first came to Earth, I saw myself as… lesser, almost. I think I must have seemed vapid, maybe a bit frivolous. To me, the others seemed brilliant. Even though it was the first mission for all of us, I felt lost among them, like I had little to offer in comparison. A part of me thought it must have been a mistake that I was included.
“But then after…” Vyn paused to swallow down a wave of emotion. “After the hilltop, the longer we’ve been here, I’ve felt… changed. Knowing now what the future holds, I couldn’t be that person anymore. I was young and naïve, and I knew that if I didn’t better myself, I would be a liability. But I think sometimes some of the others look at me, and they still see me as who I was then rather than as who I am now. I wonder if they find it difficult to take me seriously as a Corporal.”
His hands tightened around the mug, using it as an anchor. “I know I lack confidence. I doubt the others, sometimes, but I doubt myself just as much. Maybe more. Being here, seeing to this mission… It’s been… overwhelming. We can’t afford to fail.”
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Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 5:22 pm
Lyndin listened contemplatively, making sure Vyn never felt forced to cut himself off or talk any more than he needed to. Neither then, did he rush himself into an answer. Vyn deserved thoughtfulness. And, Lyndin was not adverse to showing him a little vulnerability. “You’re hard on yourself because I think you know you have the potential to be great,” he said after a moment. “In your heart, I think, you should know that. I was limited to a very select few to bring with me. I spent a very long time discussing this with the other Commanders. I had the whole Council sign off on everything. I took into consideration all reports, all records, all recommendations. We never anticipated Earth would bring us these difficulties. Sometimes, I regret not bringing more seasoned members of the Vanguard. I don’t think it’s fair to put all of this pressure on you, but for as long as I am here, I am afraid to leave Velencya without protection. I get reports from the Commanders, but communications have been a bit difficult. All I know is the Velencya is doing well enough. I’m working on something now, actually. You mustn’t tell anyone–although, I suppose Aliez and Andreiya are excluded, I don’t expect you to keep secrets from them, but I’d like to give you all the chance to send and receive a message from home. I forget, sometimes, what it’s like to have people you miss. I don’t have many friends, myself, and I lost my family a long time ago.” He shrugged, like this wasn’t necessarily something that still pained him, it was just a fact. “But you’re all still so young. I’ve been so focused on the mission that I’ve forgotten that this isn’t just difficult because you’re on Earth, you’re also away from home. And, if I’m homesick, I know you must be, too. And I know everyone must miss people back home. When I was younger, closer to your age, I was full of anger and desperation. I wanted to protect my people. I wanted to find somewhere for us. I wanted to help those that could not help themselves. Caedus included. No one wanted to help us, we had to do it all ourselves. So I learned to look after myself. I told others to seal up their emotions and focus on the task. I taught them to do what I had done, but I don’t think that’s always right. And here on Earth, things have only gotten more complicated. Hardship changes people. But I don’t want this mission to change any of you into something you’re not proud of. And, even now, Vyn, I am proud of you. You are right, we can’t afford to fail. And that’s a lot of pressure on me, so I know what it must be on you, too. We’re not where I wanted us to be. I wish we were home already. But that’s not the fault of anyone here.” Nor the point of this conversation. He looked at Vyn and said, honestly, “I know this is hard, Vyn. But I’m glad to have you here. I don’t know if you see how important you are. I believe strongly in self reflection and improvement, but don’t lose yourself in the negatives. You are supportive, you are dedicated, you are hard working. You’re curious and dependable. You’re so many things, Vyn, and you’re going to be so many more. You’re still learning and growing, and you’ve already made such an impression on me. Things aren’t always going to be easy, and you will make mistakes. But I made mistakes, too, and I’m still here. I learned from them, I grew from them, and I did my best. And I know you will, too. I’m glad you’re here with us. So if you ever doubt yourself, know that I have faith in you enough for the both of us.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2022 1:24 pm
Vyn listened. He looked into the Commodore’s face and absorbed his words, held them close, let them fill all the sad, empty pieces of himself that often left him somber and withdrawn.
The part of Vyn that was overly critical of himself didn’t want to hear it, because the Commodore was sincere in a way that, even when Vyn tried, could not be twisted into something else. But there was another part of Vyn that, though modest, enjoyed the praise and reassurances. He didn’t come here looking for them, didn’t expect the Commodore to offer such things every time Vyn felt in need of a kind word, but he couldn’t pretend that it didn’t mean something to him that the Commodore would do so now.
“Thank you, Sir. I…”
Vyn ducked his head, uncertain — not because he wanted to refute any of it, though that instinct was certainly there, but because he could think of no way to properly show his appreciation. A simple thanks seemed insufficient.
That, and he’d grown a bit misty eyed.
Vyn laughed at himself and hastily brushed the growing moisture away.
“I told myself when I came here that I wasn’t going to cry.”
Fortunately, the tea served as an adequate distraction. The water had finished heating. Carefully, Vyn poured an equal amount into each mug, watching the steam rise as color slowly spread through the water. He could not hold onto the mugs after lest he risk burning his hands, so he clutched at the edge of the counter, watching the tea steep as he considered a response, grateful for the Commodore’s patience and understanding.
A sense of sadness lingered, though Vyn pitied himself much less than he sympathized with the Commodore. Vyn had friends, even if he did not always think himself worthy of them. Vyn had family, even if, for the time being, he could not benefit from their steady presence. The Commodore had his duty, and the Vanguard, but it did not seem to Vyn like a fair trade.
He wondered, at first, how lonely it must be. Then he wondered what could be done about it — if anything could be done at all.
Inevitably, Vyn lacked the courage to pursue the topic. Instead, he grasped at the subject he thought would benefit them all.
“Messages from home would be welcome,” Vyn said, doing his best not to let his hopes rise too high, in case some unforeseen complication should prevent it. Besides, the possibility brought other concerns to mind. Vyn frowned pensively and turned from the counter to face the Commodore again. “Last year, you told us few knew of the plan for Caedus’ starseed, or that Velencya is dying. Some Commanders. The Council. You said the Council had no intention of telling anyone, but… do you know if they’ve changed their stance on that, if anyone else will ever be told, or… if we’re still the only others that know? I haven’t been able to decide which would be worse: to remain ignorant as we were before, or to know as we do now.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2022 8:15 pm
Lyndin let himself be distracted by the rising steam for a moment, as if to give Vyn some privacy while he sorted through his emotions. He didn’t give him grief for the display of emotions; Velencians were expected to be able to hold themselves in check, but it was hard to ask that of them here on Earth, where everyone was so emotional, anyway. As long as those emotions didn’t affect work or hurt others. As long as it didn’t create or worsen any divide. Their people couldn’t handle that sort of damage. They needed to get along and work together. “For now, no. It’s a possibility we’ve discussed, but I don’t want to cause unnecessary panic. We’re waiting to see how things go down here. But, if it’s not looking good, we’re going to start preparing everyone. We’re playing it by ear for now, but if it’s starting to look imminent, we’re going to want to give everyone time. We’re going to have to find a place for everyone. I don’t think we’ll fit in on Earth. The Commanders back home are looking for somewhere we might be able to use as a temporary living space while we figure things out, but.” He exhaled, and then stood a little straighter. “We’re not giving up hope here. There’s still time. But when we’re worried about running out,” he nodded. “If it gets that close, we’re going to tell everyone what’s going on.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2022 9:24 pm
The answer was no more or less than Vyn expected. He nodded, accepting. It made sense. He couldn’t argue against the decision, even if it made him feel powerless to think of his parents going about their lives as normal, being none the wiser to what might be in store for them.
He dreaded to think of it, yet it was not something he could so easily banish from his mind. The death of Velencya seemed almost inevitable. Vyn had no suggestions, no theories, nothing more than hopes and dreams, both of which were rapidly dwindling.
His hands curled helplessly at his sides, but he was able to keep himself under control. The tears did not spring back into his eyes.
“When we returned from Astraya…” Vyn began again when he was certain his voice would hold steady. “The things Aliez said… How he questioned the others… He wouldn’t have said those things if not for me. He and I spoke privately before, and… I think his judgment may have been swayed by my own. I think, in placing my burdens on him, I’ve caused him a great deal of distress. I… I do have some doubts about the others. I wonder sometimes if they’re as committed to the task as I hope they are. But… I realized later that I might have been projecting.”
Vyn swallowed through an uncomfortable tightness in his throat. He took a breath and released it slowly, glancing toward the floor with something like shame.
“I told you before that I know I won’t be the one to find another solution,” he continued. “I’m not as studious or as research oriented as the others. I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to finding some sort of an alternative. The only option I see is to find Caedus and retrieve his starseed, but… I haven’t been as proactive in searching for him as I know I should be, because there's a part of me that has been afraid the others, my friends, will judge me for it. I know it’s not an option some of them like to entertain.”
It wasn’t one he looked forward to either, but it was all they had at the moment, and Vyn carried just enough disappointment in their King, and had so few attachments to the idea of him to begin with, that he thought he might be one of the few who could actually go through with it.
“And… I know you care for Caedus, despite everything,” he said. “I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been to—...”
Even a year later, Vyn found that he couldn’t quite say it. It seemed a cruel thing to discuss, despite how essential Caedus’ starseed might be to their survival. He wondered what those initial conversations must have been like, when the decision was first made to sacrifice him.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2022 4:22 pm
Lyndin drew in a breath, maybe to calm himself, maybe just because he had a lot to say. It took him a few seconds to do anything else, and when he did he stepped forward and placed a hand on each of Vyn’s shoulders. “It is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” he said softly. Vyn didn’t need to say it for Lyndin to understand. “And every day I hope we find a solution that doesn’t end in me taking his starseed. I understand what I am asking of you all. I don’t think we have much of a chance in any other avenue, but I am willing to explore it. We just don’t have a lot of time.” Time was subjective; maybe they had months, maybe they had years. Lyndin was concerned enough to make it clear that this was a priority, but not so concerned that he had ever felt like he had to announce that they were out of time. He’d known, when Velencya was too far gone. When they’d tipped passed the point of no return. They’d have time to evacuate. Time to move. But it wasn’t going to be the same. The universe was dead in most aspects, except for Earth, and he’d already seen what this planet had done to the Vanguard. He expected it would be much harder on the rest of the Velencian population. “If you can’t find another solution, I have faith that you might support those that are investigating. You might yet find a path you want to explore yourself. If you aren't interested in studying or researching, I won’t push you towards them. Sending Caedus’ starseed back to the Cauldron to heal seems like the most effective path, but I don’t know how he’s managed to be so elusive. If he’s got so many friends on Earth, I hope any of them are trying to help heal his starseed. If he could awaken, I think our world could, too. But I don’t know how to do research on that. I am not arrogant enough to think that I could find some way to awaken him now when the experiments of our elders is what put his starseed in such a state.” His lips pressed tightly together and it was clear that this was something that must have upset him greatly, but he let the emotion pass through him and returned to a calm demeanor. He squeezed Vyn’s shoulder. “I will not hold it against you if you cannot find it in your heart to aid in recovering his starseed. But if you can’t do that, I ask that you do what you can. If it’s encouraging the others, if it’s trying to find a Senshi, a Mauvian, anyone who might be able to guide us on an alternate path…” He considered his words for a moment and then he nodded, and found conviction in them. “We are not so out of time that we can’t try. If we can’t save Velencya, we’ll need somewhere to go. Maybe there is a Senshi out there who has a world they’d be willing to share with us. Maybe there’s more we can do. You are right to worry about the others, and you are right to worry about Aliez. But I don’t hold any of you in contempt for your frustration. I wasn’t there, I didn’t see everything. I don’t see everything. But I’m going to do better. I can’t help but blame myself. I let myself get too focused on my own projects. I have neglected your needs. I should have been looking after everyone. I’m going to try harder. I don’t want any of you to feel alone or lost or unheard.”
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2022 9:35 pm
At first, Vyn shook his head — not to reject anything the Commodore said, but because he didn’t like to hear the Commodore blame himself for anything, when he’d only ever done what he thought was best for their people. The Commodore carried so many burdens, probably more than Vyn realized, but he did so without complaint, without any concern for himself.
With a quiet sigh, Vyn leaned forward. He put his head against the Commodore’s shoulder, and wrapped his arms around him in a loose embrace. Though he flushed a bit, still shy and uncertain, Vyn found that he was able to release the rest of the tension he carried.
Nothing had changed. Velencya was still dying, their people were still in danger, and their future remained undetermined, but for the moment, Vyn felt a little less overwhelmed by it all.
“If any of us feel alone, it’s only when we isolate ourselves,” he said. “If we feel lost, it’s only when we haven’t sought help. If we feel unheard, it’s only when we haven’t made ourselves heard. It isn’t due to anything you have or haven’t done. None of us are children. If we have needs that aren’t being met, we’re perfectly capable of determining how to meet them, or relying on one another when we can’t do so ourselves. I came here because I needed to talk and I knew you would listen.”
Even if he felt guilty for it, even if a part of him still worried that he’d intruded at a time when the Commodore seemed intent on resting for once, Vyn was glad for the conversation, and the company.
“On Earth, we have each other,” he continued. “But down here… you’re all alone.”
Maybe it was the late hour. Maybe it was the informal attire. Maybe it was the mundane process of making tea. Maybe it was the way their conversation flowed freely, despite Vyn’s occasional hesitance. Whatever it was, the Commodore seemed less imposing like this. Vyn did not yet feel as if he were overstepping.
The Commodore cared for them — for all of them. Vyn happened to think the Commodore should be cared for, too — not just fretted over and politely harassed into taking care of himself, but offered affection he might not often receive otherwise.
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2022 7:04 pm
When Vyn leaned against him, Lyndin reached around to drape his arms over his shoulder so he could hold him gently. There was nothing uncomfortable or uncertain about the gesture. Maybe, it even brought him some relief. “I won’t be down here forever,” he promised. “And you come to visit me sometimes. You, and some of the others. It does get lonely, but it keeps me focused. And I remember why I’m working so hard. I want to get us home. I’d like to leave Earth a little better than we found it. I want to create a better future for everyone.” A future he might not even get a chance to be a part of. He placed a hand on Vyn’s back, as if to reassure him further. “You’re very wise, Vyn. I want you to know that. You have a good heart in your chest, and a good head on your shoulders. I appreciate you more than you know. I’m glad you came down here tonight. Conversations like this keep me strong, and you make me want to do better.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2022 12:44 pm
Vyn decided right then and there that he would have to visit more often. Until now, he’d tried to limit his visits to what he thought was essential. He hadn’t wanted to be a nuisance. He hadn’t wanted to pose any distractions. He hadn’t wanted to get in the Commodore’s way, or seem needy, or make it obvious more than it already was that he admired the Commodore in ways Vyn thought might creep toward inappropriate. (He was, after all, a subordinate. It seemed to Vyn there were lines that shouldn’t be crossed.)
But he hated to think of the Commodore down here alone so often, no doubt steeped in worry, throwing himself into various projects, neglecting himself, not quite at the mercy of the Negaverse and its Queen, but in their debt and their domain.
Vyn sighed again, and held onto the Commodore as long as he dared — which, at that moment, seemed to be a significant length of time. He didn’t feel wise, or like his heart was good, or like his head was either, but it pleased him to hear that the Commodore thought such things.
“You do enough,” Vyn told him, a little quiet. He let himself enjoy the embrace, even if he knew it might make the pining worse later. “You’ve done so much, and I… I want to help more. I want to make things easier for you, if I can.”
He pulled back slightly, just enough that he could look up at the Commodore, who was warm and kind, and every good thing Vyn could think to ask for in a leader. At times, the Commodore seemed as if he could not be real. Like this, Vyn was reminded that he was.
Their people were lucky to have had the Commodore for so long.
Vyn wished they could have him longer.
With a deepening flush, Vyn forced himself back into focus. He couldn’t spend the rest of the night standing there, leaning against the Commodore. He’d come here for a reason, and though he’d accomplished part of it, there were still issues that weighed on his mind.
“Oh! The tea…”
Vyn detached himself slowly, perhaps allowing his hands to linger more than necessary, but eventually he turned back to the counter to dispose of the tea bags and offer the Commodore one of the mugs.
“I’m sorry, I’ve kept you standing this whole time. We should sit,” he said, fretting now, making his way toward the living area to sit upon the couch. “I… I’ve been focusing so much on our hardships, but… Astraya wasn’t all heartache and misery. I did manage to make a few contacts that I hope might lead somewhere. I admit I don’t have much faith in any of the Mauvians. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re unable to help Caedus at all, but… there were a couple of Senshi who proved friendly enough, and a Knight I remember from the hilltop. I believe he tried to help Caedus, so I’m hoping he might have some information, at least enough so we might know where to start. He seemed… practical.”
Whether or not any of it would pan out, Vyn couldn’t say. The uncertainty bothered him, but he knew better than to expect that any of this would be simple.
His smile faltered slightly when he looked at the Commodore again. “Whatever becomes of Caedus, you shouldn’t have to bear it on your own. And… ultimately, the survival of our people is more important than my standing among my friends, so if my helping to find him earns their disappointment… I will have to learn to live with it.”
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