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 Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2022 6:26 pm
Eternal Sailor AlastorAlastor had gone outside before. It wasn’t common, and it was usually only out of great necessity, but he’d braved the storms to harvest sap from the nearby trees to make his candles. Sometimes, to search the nearby area for any travelers.
He’d lost track of how long it had been since he last saw anyone. The memories were faded and vague in his mind, anyway. He hadn’t known the last of them would have been so important, and maybe he regretted not paying attention at the time. Back then, he hadn’t really been thinking such things were even possible.
Sometimes, he’d seen faces in the darkness. Pale shadows drifting in the trees.
Sometimes, they called to him.
Alastor knew better.
For as much as he wanted there to be someone out there for him to help, the Chaos was so saturated in the air that he knew better. He didn’t let the shadows drag him into their depths, no matter how desperate he might have been for the company.
But, that was then. This was now.
He hadn’t known about such things as cameras, so the Chaos on his world was probably similarly ignorant. He didn’t think it would have noticed him installing the little devices, or understood what he was doing even if it had. The cameras were connected to screens in a back room, where the others were waiting. The Mauvians suppressed their energy signatures, for now.
Alastor seemed alone, like always.
He carried with him a single lantern, out of habit more than anything else. He did his rounds on the wall, as usual. The great beacons of light shined across the yard around the Hall, and beyond the wall that encircled it. Selectively, he’d turned a few off. No more than he had to. Just enough to get the Chaos’ attention. Just enough to make a little room for it.
When lightning flashed, it caught the silhouette of the great tree next to the Hall. Alastor could bring himself to look at it, for a moment now. His heart was heavy, but he needed the strength. He knew Sessrumnir could monitor how he felt with the necklace around his neck so he braced himself. He relaxed. He took only a moment to prepare himself before he unbolted the large stone gate at the entrance of the Hall of the Ancients.
He was small compared to the doors; together, they were a bit less than four times his height, and easily three times his height in width. He only needed to open one of the two, and only enough to slip through. It was a great effort, but he had the strength of an Eternal Senshi on his side. It was easier now than when he’d done it alone a year ago, and for however many years he’d been doing it by himself before that.
The path leading to other parts of the world was long faded and washed away. The grass would have grown to his knees if the storm hadn’t belted each blade into the ground. The shadows of the forest spread towards him hungrily, greedily. Maybe, desperately.
There was a break in the storm, if it could be called as much; water soaked through him, but it wasn’t coming down so harshly now. Thunder rumbled in the distance, but it had been a moment since lightning had struck near enough to the Hall to be loud. The dark clouds flashed brightly, often, like energy waiting to explode.
He thought he could feel it.
Alastor raised the lantern a bit, but the soft glow brought him more comfort than it did light. He slid through the small gap between the doors and took a few slow, careful steps towards the forest. The wind was too slow to move them right now, but the trees seemed to bend with the weight of the shadows.
Alastor was ready for them.
”Percy”The break in the storm was necessary, and the shadows whispered to itself as the Senshi finally stepped out of the stronghold of the Hall. The lights that had been put out had caught its attention, and it knew its opportunity was standing in front of it at long last.
A slight figure in a long dark cloak stepped lightly from the trees. There was nothing discernable about the figure itself at first, but it was clear that there was a hesitation before slowly moving forward.
“Devyn?” a familiar voice asked, quiet and uncertain. Despite the rain, the figure reached up to carefully lower their hood, as if to prove who they were. As if to try and put Devyn’s mind and heart at ease. As if to try and clear up any confusion Devyn might have been suffering from.
The young man that stood before him wore a worried expression, thin brows furrowed over storm gray eyes. With the cloak in the way, it was nearly impossible to tell what he was wearing or how his hair was styled, but on his left hand he wore a deep, rosy copper colored ring of carefully carved oak leaves that twisted around twice to make the width of the band. Tiny pinpricks of a warmer copper peppered the surface of the ring and in the right light looked almost like lightning sparking across the leaves. It was adorned with a single red gem, but only visible when his palm was faced upwards. On his right hand, was a signet ring.
“The storm is going to pick up again soon,” he gently warned, glancing up at the sky with his hand held out to feel how heavily the rain was falling.
Percy was of average height and even under the cloak it was obvious he was quite lean. He held himself with grace and sophistication. He still looked young, in his late twenties. Or perhaps he looked the oldest he ever was.
“It’s dangerous out here. The path to Arista wasn’t too bad. Madison needed help with some patients… remember…? You were going to wait here for me inside,” Percy reminded him, tilting his head a little as though he was trying to determine Devyn’s expression.
Eternal Sailor AlastorIf he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t as prepared as he thought he was. He knew the shadows were twisted, he knew the darkness would play dirty. It was Chaos.
He hadn’t come here expecting it to be a fair fight.
He saw them form. He expected the worst.
He still wasn’t ready for it.
The shape moved right. Sounded right.
Looked right, almost.
But Devyn remembered every curve of Percy’s face with an impeccable clarity, and something was off. He couldn’t have described what it was, but he knew. He couldn’t stop from staring, anyway.
The second the hood had come down, his heart had been pierced. His stomach turned upside down and his blood ran cold. There was a brief second where he thought, just maybe, but–
He knew better.
Confusion lingered on his face before there was something like understanding. Something like acceptance. Outwardly, maybe he looked like he’d just come to his senses. Inwardly, he knew better. His heart was pounding, erratic, nervous, but–
He quelled it. He had the strength for this.
It felt like there was a dark fog in his mind, and he skirted all the lies he’d lived off of for all of these years.
He had to know how real it was.
Alastor reached out a hand to cup Percy’s face. For a split second, it hovered just a fraction of an inch away, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to break the illusion. He pressed his palm to Percy’s cheek and–
“You’re so cold,” he said, and the surprise was real at least. He hadn’t expected to feel soft, smooth skin. Briefly, he looked over Percy’s shoulder, towards the overgrown path to Arista. It should have been a half an hour walk through the forest. Once.
Now, he didn’t know if anyone could have made it there or back.
His eyes returned to the would-be Percy’s.
“Sorry. My mind must have been wandering. I don’t remember…”
His voice faded but he shook his head and forced a smile. It looked real enough. He’d given a thousand fake smiles, and more. “What were you saying?”
He stepped aside, through the gate. He held a hand for It. “We’ll have to run you a bath, you’re frigid. I can’t have you getting sick. Although, I suppose that’s a good excuse to have to spend a little extra time with you. Tell me all about the patients, how are they?”
His skin was crawling, his heart was pounding. He was handling this, he just needed to get a grip.
He hoped Sessrumnir was okay. Briefly, his eyes caught the camera, but he turned with Percy to guide him towards the Hall.
”Percy”Percy stared up at Devyn with growing concern, but leaned his face into Devyn’s hand. He would have turned to kiss it if it didn’t seem as though Devyn was ready to get out of the rain.
For a moment, Percy followed Devyn’s gaze to the path behind him, and then reached out a hand to take the offered one from Devyn as they made their way through the gate.
“Are you worried about Arista?” he asked, his voice a little more cautious than casual conversation, as though he didn’t want to upset Devyn or confuse him more. “They’re okay, I promise. Marius is taking his job as Mayor very seriously and is making sure everything stays under control. The dams are holding. Everyone near the river has evacuated, and they recently did an emergency escape drill that Virgil led,” Percy explained with a quiet, almost exasperated sigh. “Virgil really hates the idea of retirement. So does Atrius, but Marius is thankfully stubborn and kicks him out when he tries to fall back into old habits.”
It didn’t seem to occur to him that he was talking too much. This was normal. Devyn would want to hear about his friends.
“Madison has about a dozen patients that came down with some kind of flu. He just needed help getting caught up on treatments while he did paperwork. While complaining about how much he hated paperwork the whole time. They all thanked me for, well… not being Madison,” he couldn’t stop himself from laughing softly at that, although he winced, because he really didn’t want to talk poorly about Madison.
“A bath sounds nice. Will you join me? You look like you haven’t been sleeping well. Probably because it’s so bright all the time. But… you know the sun and I don’t get along very well.” After all, he burned so easily.
Eternal Sailor AlastorThe words felt wrong. He didn’t even have to speak to feel like there was a lump in his throat. Time seemed blurred in his mind. Percy hadn’t been alive when Marius was mayor. Had Madison still been practicing by then? …Had he ever retired? When had–
The thought broke off quickly and he shook his head again.
“No, I don’t sleep well when you’re not here. You were gone for too long. I missed you.”
He had. That was true. He knew this wasn’t Percy. He knew it. He kept repeating it in his mind. Not enough to be heard by anyone but him. He wondered, if he thought hard enough, if Sessrumnir could hear it.
It didn’t work like that.
His hand felt like it was on fire and needles were prickling across his skin. Inside of him.
He thought Sessrumnir was probably worrying, so he drew in a deep breath and relaxed himself.
“You know what storms do to me. My chest has been aching. Probably since you left. Maybe a bath would do me well. These old bones ache, you know.”
Did It know? Was time the same for the two of them?
“I should get out of here and visit them. I miss them all. Very much. And I’m always worried about Arista. You know, I can’t remember why I stayed here. That was too dangerous, if the weather had gotten worse, if you don’t come home, I might not have been able to find you. I was worried. Don’t go off without me again.”
They were at the doors to the Hall, and Alastor reached to pull it open for It again. His heart wanted to call it Percy. His mind knew better. A muscle in his face hurt from smiling.
Disgust followed Alastor in a sickening haze. Percy was better than this. The idea that something so evil could try and claim his form was revolting.
But Alastor held firm.
He opened the door, and for a moment, the Hall looked alive with light. He saw shadows of people, and bright colors. Heard whispers and voices.
It could have been real.
But, he knew better.
The weight of Sessrumnir’s signet ring was heavy in his pocket. He’d have worn it on his necklace if he didn’t think it would be suspicious to keep reaching for it. He’d have worn it on his finger if that wouldn’t have been equally obvious.
If he had any doubts about anything being real, he knew that was.
Which meant Michael was waiting for him to make it to the Core. He was watching this.
Alastor wasn’t alone. They’d made it into the lobby. They were practically a third of the way there already.
He could do this.
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2022 6:28 pm
”Percy”Finally out of the rain and in the Hall, Percy lowered his hood more fully, although he squinted against some of the brighter lights. His straight, auburn hair was long, down to his mid back, elegantly braided and woven with ribbons and crystals from one of Arista’s popular festivals.
With the cloak removed completely and placed on a rack near the entryway, Devyn could see that Percy wore clothing traditional to Alastor -- silks rich with greens and teals and gold.
Around his neck he wore a thin golden chain with a white wolf fang and golden orb at the end. The contents of the latter swirled peacefully.
“You were busy here. Some of the towns to the south were putting up a fuss about not getting trade routes completed fast enough,” Percy reminded him. Gently, as though he didn’t want to hurt his feelings about his poor memory.
“I promise I’m okay. You know I have Princess in case of emergencies, but… Okay,” he agreed with a small, but warm smile. “I trust you, Dev. In all things. If you don’t want me to go off without you again, then I won’t. I would rather be with you, anyway.”
Eternal Sailor AlastorIt stung, again. In a bitter, poisonous way. Alastor tasted it.
He kept his walls up, like he had for so long. He’d resisted the Chaos every time before now, but it had never done this before. Alastor wondered if it suspected anything of him. He kept his thoughts to himself, kept his heart careful. He always had.
He didn’t know how much it could know about him, but he gave it as little as possible. It still had so much.
He didn’t have to wonder how long it had been watching him. He’d spent so many years thinking about Percy, missing him. The Chaos might not have been able to reach him then, but it didn’t mean he hadn’t been sloppy.
But, he hadn’t known.
He ran his fingers again across Sessrumnir’s signet ring, pushing his thumb into it so he could feel every little groove and indent, every little shape. He had to stay focused.
The orb around It’s neck was a mockery. It didn’t beat with Devyn’s heart, no matter how convincing it was otherwise. For a moment, he couldn’t look at the thing that wore Percy’s face, and spoke with his voice, and drew on his memories.
He’d had a hard enough time separating one memory from another. He wondered if this manifestation of Percy was a culmination of that, of all these years of memories swirled into the best of them.
Or, he wondered if it was a deliberate choice, to show him everything he wanted to see.
And, he wanted to see it. Percy living, breathing, moving, speaking. It felt like he should be making new memories. It was a lie, but he’d wished so badly that there was some truth to it.
Let Percy have gotten to see what Marius became. Let him be proud of all that he had accomplished. Let him celebrate the retirement of their friends. Let him have festivals and happiness and success.
It was a lie. It was the worst kind of lie, because it was everything that should have been, and everything that could never be.
“...Are they still fussing? I need a break. Weren’t we supposed to go on vacation? I feel like I haven’t slowed down in so long.” He escorted the Mockery through the lobby, at a slow, steady pace. They reached the back door, and he opened it again and held it. This time, his hand went to Its back, fingers gently grazing the soft hair.
It felt real. If he’d been weaker, he would have fallen for this. He could imagine how easy it must have been to slip into the embrace of someone who looked like, sounded like, acted like someone you loved. He’d have done anything for Percy. He imagined this Thing claimed so many others by doing just this.
And yet, he was tender to it. When the fake Percy stepped into the hallway, he moved to Its side again. Pulled It close, even, as if he meant to warm It. Guided It down the hallway. Shielded It from the brighter torches. They were all on one side, his side, sans a few intermittent, less boisterous torches across from them.
Few enough to allow passage, but not so few as to draw suspicion.
“I can’t remember the last time we got away. I’m tired. I don’t know how you have so much energy when you work so hard. What’s your secret?”
”Percy”“You think I would visit Arista and Atrius wouldn’t ply me with those caffeinated drinks of his?” Percy laughed, his voice clear and happy. He seemed to enjoy being pulled close, and took advantage of being shielded from the light.
“I don’t think I’ve slept in two days,” he laughed again, but shook his head before Devyn could worry. “I slept restlessly because I wasn’t with you. A vacation sounds nice. We could go to Malus again. Find another rooftop to watch the aurora. Or maybe Ganymede? Serge always likes going there. We could bother him for some ideas. Oh, but he probably wouldn’t like that. I bet he’d think you put me up to it to tease him for… whatever reason he can come up with.”
There was nothing uncomfortable about how Percy walked with Devyn down the hall. It was as though their steps were perfectly synced, and if Percy had to take longer strides to keep up with him, then that was fine.
“You haven’t kissed me yet,” he said after a moment, peering curiously up at Devyn. “It’s usually the first thing you do. Is something bothering you?”
Eternal Sailor AlastorHe hadn’t wanted to kiss the Imitation. He felt nothing for It, in all Its deception. It was a pretty mask, but his starseed knew the difference. His heart hurt, though. It was hard to smile through it. He wrapped his hand around the almost-Percy’s waist.
“On the contrary. If I kiss you, I won’t stop,” he said, and managed to sound playful. He just had to imagine that it was Percy. It was enough that the smile on his face eased a bit. It became a little more real.
His heart stung, it felt like it was skipping every other beat. He had to try again to calm himself.
He didn’t want Sessrumnir to worry. He rolled his shoulders and forcibly relaxed again, in front of a camera enough that he could make sure they could see.
“I thought I should be a bit responsible. I haven’t been feeling quite right, either.” That much was true, at least. “Something feels off, I can’t quite place it. I think I might be coming down with something, I’ve been more forgetful than usual. Has it really been a few days since you left? It feels like so much longer. I don’t know. I’ll be glad when this storm passes, though.”
They were halfway there, maybe more. He hadn’t heard thunder recently, but the sound of his own heartbeat was deafening in his ears. His hand fit perfectly around the Imposter’s waist, and he hated it. He missed it.
“Maybe we should slip away for a bit. Maybe to Sessrumnir. I’m not feeling well, and you’re so cold. The Springs might warm us up. And if that doesn’t, teasing Serge might.”
”Percy”“Oh no,” Percy hummed teasingly as he continued to watch Devyn curiously, even as Devyn wrapped his hand around his waist. But his smile faded a bit as Devyn expressed his discomfort and how something felt off.
“We could slip away,” he agreed. “But if you’re sick, you should let me examine you. I wouldn’t want you coming down with that flu,” he sighed, his eyes darting from Devyn to the lights on the walls to the tapestries.
“Are we not going to our room?” he asked, but again it was gentle, like he didn’t want to upset Devyn for forgetting where his own room was. Percy didn’t resist against the direction Devyn was leading him, but he did continue to watch him with growing concern.
Eternal Sailor AlastorDevyn hummed thoughtfully. “Oh, I suppose we should.” He rubbed his hand gently up and down Its back. “My feet don’t always take me to the place I’m thinking of.”
Also, not a lie. He just knew where he was going now because it was important.
“The light’s bothering you? Come closer.”
He raised his arm to wrap around his shoulders, and let his sleeve block out some of the light.
“I need to make my rounds before I head to bed. I’d tell you to go on without me, but I don’t want to lose you. I miss you, you know. Have I said that already? I feel like I’m losing myself sometimes. I’ll be fast. I have to check on the Core, I can’t go to sleep until I know it’s safe. We haven’t been down there for a while. I sleep down there sometimes. When I want to be closer to you.”
Also not a lie. He’d slept there more times than he could remember. When he’d been lying to himself about Percy. Afterwards. He’d cleaned up the room a bit the last time he was here, when he was setting up the camera.
”Percy”“You sleep down there? Dev… you should have told me. I would have tried harder to be with you instead of traveling so much. I can work with delegates if I need to,” he said, but didn’t fight against Devyn pulling him closer, grateful for the protection from the light. It wasn’t unbearable, just a bit uncomfortable.
“There’s a lot of secrets you keep from me,” Percy said thoughtfully. He reached his arm across himself so he could place his hand over Devyn’s on his shoulder.
“You’re no longer wearing the ring I gave you,” he noted, brushing his fingers along Devyn’s where the ring would normally be worn.
“What are you making rounds for? Is there something dangerous you’re trying to protect this place from? You know I would want to help. If there’s anything I can do.”
Eternal Sailor AlastorIf Devyn had been alone, he could have fallen for this. Maybe, in the pits of loneliness, in the empty void of one day and the next, he could have been convinced that this was Percy. It seemed kind. Gentle. It played on his memories and said things he wanted to hear.
“It’s here,” Alastor said, and removed his hand from his pocket so he could tuck the ring from underneath his shirt. “I was afraid I’d lose it, I wanted it close to my heart.”
He didn’t know why he felt the need to prove himself to It, as if he’d ever stopped loving Percy. He knew he hadn’t. He knew this was fake.
Just a few moments more.
Goosebumps peppered his skin and a shiver ran down his spine. All of this felt wrong. The reality of knowing this was a lie, knowing he was leading It to the Core–
This was a necessity. He knew that. He needed this to end.
He was strong, he wasn’t going to be tempted. Much.
“That’s not a secret, is it? I wasn’t eating well, I lost a lot of weight. I was afraid it would slide off. But I’m doing better. Now that you’re here. But you had to go, I understand. And now you’re here, so I can keep you safe. My chest is aching, so I suspect this storm will only get worse. I found some water in with the Core the other day, I was worried that meant the structure was weakening. If it was a fluke, that’s fine. But I’d rather be safe than sorry. You’ve got a better eye than me, will you take a look at it? I’ll sleep easier if I know there’s nothing to worry about. And, if it does need repairs, we’ll need to find someone we can trust. I can’t have this place sinking in on itself. But, it’s really a wonder, with all this rain. The ground’s just been a sponge for…”
His voice trailed off.
“Oh, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I haven’t been keeping track. I didn’t want to count the days without you. But you’re back, now. So I’m going to make all of this right again. I’m going to fix everything.”
The Core was close. They were passing the room he’d set up the surveillance systems in. Everyone was hidden behind just a few inches of wood. Alastor couldn’t feel any energy signatures, so he knew the Mauvians were doing their job. He didn’t think about it any more than he had to, he didn’t want any information to slip.
Alastor had been doing well so far, his walls were strong.
He turned down the last hallway and guided It towards the hidden room.
Two minutes to the Core at this pace.
This was almost over.
He hoped.
”Percy”Percy looked at the ring Devyn shared for a moment, and then smiled. He brushed his fingers over Devyn’s hand as they continued down the hall.
“I am here,” he said softly. “And I’ll never leave your side again, if you’ll have me.”
He seemed to slowly be processing where they were within the Hall. He didn’t seem anxious, nor did he seem excited. He seemed completely in awe of Devyn and trusting him with everything.
“I can take a look,” he agreed, concerned that something like the Core’s stability was troubling Devyn. “Sessrumnir should have some texts and documents that will help us if additional drainage is needed.”
At the end of the hall, in front of the tapestry, Percy reached a hand out to gently touch the fabric.
“Remember when you first brought me here…? You brought me the most beautiful outfit I’d ever seen to wear. Alastor has much more elegant clothing than Jupiter. I remember thinking the clothing itself was a work of art. Every embroidered thread, every tiny part of the design. You didn’t tell me where we were going, just that you wanted to take me somewhere special. You told me how the Senshi used to come and pray for guidance here. That it gave you nightmares as a child.”
He paused so he could smile up at Devyn once more. “You said you could see me worrying. I was embarrassed, but impressed by how well you knew me. Well… it had been a handful of years by then, hadn’t it?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2022 6:29 pm
Eternal Sailor AlastorThe strangeness compounded, because Devyn knew some of this was just what he remembered. Thoughts and memories plucked from his mind. But, some of it sounded like it could have really been Percy. Briefly, he wondered if it had been watching them for that long. He wondered if part of this facade was actually based on Percy. Had he imprinted on It? Was a part of Percy alive in It?
He almost wanted to ask. He didn’t. Couldn’t. They were too close. Maybe, if things went wrong now, he could still gather It up in his arms and run it down to the Core. Alastor was strong. Percy would have fit well enough in his arms, and this mimickry could, too. As long as it stayed in this form.
The ring was tucked back into his shirt, and he felt its weight on his chest as much as Sessrumnir’s Signet Ring in his pocket.
“I remember,” Alastor answered, with the same softness in his voice that he always got when he was talking about Percy. The real Percy.
The Chaos was convincing, though. The closer they got to the Core, the calmer Alastor was. He drew strength from it, and he felt its presence wash over him. He was running out of time for things to go wrong, so he remained hopeful.
Back here, in one of the deepest hallways, it was cold. He should have felt the chill more through his damp clothes, but he had calmed himself. Braced himself. He felt nothing but purpose.
A thousand years ago, he would have pulled a torch from the sconce to guide them into the darkness. Now, he didn’t need it. He knew the path by heart.
Once, there had been no light in the hidden room to ensure that it stayed hidden. Now, there were dim lights, placed with specific design. Just enough to keep a light burning to prevent the Chaos from reaching full strength. Not enough to hurt it. Probably.
The tapestry at the end of the hall was large, easily the most impressive in all of the hall. It looked as though it was simply meant to adorn a dead end that hadn’t been built off of yet, but he knew better. It was faded, as most of them were, but not in bad condition.
Alastor placed his palms flat against the tapestry, laying them over on two separate, fairly inconspicuous designs.
A loud click and a rumble echoed throughout the hall; he’d activated a very well-hidden mechanism. The door wouldn’t open without his command. The Chaos wouldn’t have been able to enter without him.
“It’s still spooky, you know.” He nodded towards the hidden room as he peeled back the tapestry. The stone wall had slid into itself, leaving a large, open archway.
Inside, the first room was a small, ceremonial room. Small candles lined the walls and though they burned dimly, there was enough gold in the room to reflect it across every corner.
In the center of the floor was a great mosaic, and across from the opening was a life size statue, purple gold. The eyes were closed and the figure was sitting, as if meditating.
Alastor regarded it with a cold disdain.
As a child, he had dreamed of it often, always with dread and despair. The room was supposed to be used for meditation, but he’d never liked it. He didn’t want to meditate. He hated sitting still. Hated seeing memories from his previous life. He didn’t want to know him. Didn’t want to be like him.
The flickering gold was distracting--almost enough to hide the twisting staircase tucked in the corner of the room. There were so many curves and shapes in the room that it seemed like the design was deliberately built to obscure the twisting staircase in the far corner of the room. It was no more than a hole in the ground, and spiraling steps that led into the ground.
“I’ll be happy to be away from it. I should have it removed, I think. It’s been here long enough. It’s not worth all this trouble to have to come past it just to get to the Core. Come, quickly. Hold my hand, I don’t want you to fall. There’s more humidity now than the last time we were here, I don’t want you to slip and fall. If you’re to stay by my side forever, let it not be at the bottom of the stairs.”
”Percy”Percy glanced from Devyn, then at each of the lights that had been set up around the ancient room. At the small, dimly burning candles, and the statue with its closed eyes.
“It would have been better if you left the sheet covering it,” he said, his voice quiet and still thoughtful. But as before, Percy placed his trust in Devyn and took his hand. He gave it a reassuring squeeze as he followed him to the stairs.
They were still carefully making their way down the spiral staircase, when Percy finally paused.
“I love you,” he said, with something like sadness in his voice. A knowing quiet maybe. After all, Percy often knew when Devyn was keeping secrets from him, but chose to trust him to tell him if it was important.
“You haven’t said that yet, either. No kiss… no ‘I love you’... I know you’re feeling unwell, but… What’s going on, Dev?”
Eternal Sailor AlastorLittle pinpricks in his heart started all over again. “I didn’t say it?” he asked, with something of a hum in his voice. “I must have gotten used to thinking it. Sometimes I forget we don’t have those earrings. Atrius spoiled us, I liked hearing your voice in my mind. But I think it often.”
He didn’t want to kiss him. Or, he did. He wanted to know if the lips were as soft as he remembered. His heart ached, not for some illusion, but for Percy. He squeezed the hand a little tighter as he descended the stairs.
He couldn’t slow down, couldn’t stop.
Realistically, he knew this was just a lie. It was just a trap. He should have been able to kiss him, to tell him he loved him, to call him by his name.
Alastor could lie. Convincingly.
But his stomach didn’t stop churning at the idea. He wouldn’t do any of that, not unless he had no other choice.
“I’ve been feeling out of sorts, recently. I don’t know. Something just feels off. Maybe I’m just tired. Like I’m walking through a dream I just can’t wake up from.”
The stairs felt small, like the railing was too close, and like they were cramped into a tiny little space. There was always a bit of discomfort on the way down, but it was probably just to chase away anyone who wasn’t supposed to be there. There should have been pure darkness, but he’d put candles down here, too.
“I would have offered to carry you down the stairs if I’d trusted myself, but. It’s strange, isn’t it? You must feel it too. I’m so tired all the time. And everything feels so empty. And no matter how hard I work around here, nothing changes. This storm has gone on for ages. I don’t even remember when everyone left the Hall. I thought about leaving, too. Only, I couldn’t figure out where I’d go. And I didn’t think I should leave the Core alone.”
Alastor tugged him down the last few steps, and as soon as their feet were on the ground, things changed a bit. They felt less forlorn. Less stiff. The ground down here was stone and dirt, and it felt softer and more welcoming. The air smelled clean, despite how far underground they were.
Small candles caught the mineral ore in the walls, and in the distance, a soft glow beckoned them.
They were close.
He hadn’t been down here with anyone but Percy.
“Sometimes it feels like I’m trapped in a dream. Or a nightmare. How do you make sense of that? How do you move on from that? I can’t imagine. But you know, when I’m alone, I always think ‘What would Percy do’? So.” He exhaled, and looked at the figure next to him.
He kept a straight face. Wished that Percy looked this healthy the last time he’d seen him. He kept his voice even. Kept himself calm.
“What do you think?”
”Percy”Percy stumbled and squeaked in distress as he was practically pulled down the stairs, and tugged down the last few steps. If it wasn’t for Devyn holding his hand -- tightly -- he likely would have landed on his knees.
There was an almost panicked look of concern on his face as he stood at as much of a distance from Devyn as possible. His other hand had reached to place over the hand Devyn was using to hold onto his. He wasn’t trying to pry his hand off, but the hand being held a bit too tightly was no longer grasping Devyn’s in return.
It was clear in Percy’s eyes that he knew something wasn’t right. Something about what Devyn was saying didn’t make sense, or maybe brought him more concern than he would have liked to voice out loud.
He also seemed to be holding himself back from saying something, since he was biting his bottom lip until it was nearly white, his brows knit together in confusion.
In the end, he was as non-confrontational as possible, even though the pain was clear on his face -- it obviously bothered him that Devyn was acting so strangely. That he wouldn’t tell him he loved him in return, and was avoiding kissing him.
“If I felt I was trapped in a dream, or a nightmare, I would seek you out. I get my strength from you, Devyn. If… if I couldn’t find you in my dream, then I would keep looking. I’ve gotten really good at finding you when you’re lost, so that won’t be a problem.”
Eternal Sailor AlastorFor a moment, Alastor didn’t answer. He didn’t like the look of worry, of panic, that had formed on Its face. It was Percy’s face, and seeing that stung again.
The Chaos didn’t deserve to be treated with the same tenderness as Percy did, but he didn’t know if he could get It to the Core if he didn’t give It something.
“That’s true,” he answered. “You’ve always been there when I needed you. Any time I’ve been lost, you’ve been there to find me. And, I’ve been lost for a while now. So I’m not surprised that you’ve come to find me. Come here, Perce.”
The same tenderness he would have used if it was actually Percy. He squeezed his hand, and there was a solemnity that fell over him. His heart calmed. It was just a part to play.
He ran his thumb across the back of Its hand.
“Let me carry you the rest of the way. Are you so sure you want a kiss if I’m sick? If you come down with whatever I’ve got, who’s going to pamper me and nurse me back to health? I don’t want Madison. He’ll just scold me.”
”Percy”“I don’t want anything you don’t want to give me,” Percy answered quietly as he blinked away the tears that were starting to fill his eyes.
“You don’t have to kiss me if you don’t feel well. You don’t have to tell me you love me if you think it in your head. I… I know you’ve been really tired lately. You’ve been working so hard, and I’m so proud of you. I’ve always been proud of you. If… if you’re mad at me for being gone, then I’m sorry. I’m here now,” he promised, his voice trembling with emotion.
He hadn’t moved from where he stood near the stairs. Although he seemed to know that if Devyn picked him up or pulled him, he wouldn’t be able to fight that. He didn’t want to fight Devyn, and it was clear in his expression that not collapsing into Devyn’s embrace was physically painful.
“You don’t need to carry me. I can walk. I’m supposed to be looking for any water getting in. Any structural damage,” he reminded. “I can’t do that if I’m being carried.”
Eternal Sailor AlastorThe tears weren’t fair. Alastor doubted himself, suddenly. What if he was just losing his mind? If this was Percy–or, close enough, but–
No, he felt the ring in his pocket again. Sessrumnir’s ring. Michael’s ring.
“Percy,” he said softly, little more than a whisper. “I’ve never been mad at you, not for a moment in my life. There isn’t a thing in the universe I wouldn’t give you.”
Of course he was weak to the tears, he always was. Could Chaos cry? Had he been wrong about all of this?
“...Have I scared you?” he asked, and a frown settled into place. Percy hadn’t ever been scared of him, and even if he knew this was fake, he felt a strange pang of guilt.
”Percy”“I’m not scared of you!” Percy insisted, just as he always had. He pulled his still free hand away so he could rub angrily at his face. He didn’t stop the tears from falling, but he did manage to make his face more red and blotchy.
“I’m worried about you. You’ve never been this rough with me-- not like this,” he tried to explain.
“If you’re just tired, then we can sit down and I can help you rest for a little while. I just… you know I would follow you to the end of the universe -- in every lifetime… so… you don’t have to pull so hard.”
He twisted his wrist a little to indicate where Devyn was holding tightly to his hand, and he was still visibly shaken from being pulled down the stairs with him, even if he’d managed to remain upright.
Eternal Sailor Alastor“I’m sorry,” Alastor said, and brushed his thumb across his skin. “...I guess I’ve forgotten my strength. Let me make it up to you.”
He had nothing to make up for. It was fake. It was a lie. It was Chaos, in physical form. An illusion, a shadow. A memory. It was effective, it cut him to the core. It peeled back layers of memories. He’d spent all that time earlier this year processing Percy’s death–again–and to have him here, in the flesh–
No, not him. Just a very good imposter.
He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around It, like he would have if it had actually been Percy. He rested his chin atop Its head and exhaled. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I haven’t been well, Perce. I should have said something before. I didn’t want you to worry. I don’t think I’ve done either of us any favors.” He pressed his lips to the Imposter’s hair, and had to remind himself that this wasn’t real.
No matter how real it felt.
“I’ve been running around nonstop since you’ve been gone. I should have gone slower. I think I’m just anxious. I’m ready to be out of here, and head back to our room. A bath sounds nice. Bed. I can put on our music box, too. It’ll be like old times. And, when we wake up, everything will be better again.”
”Percy”Percy sniffled and hid his face against his hand when Devyn pulled him close, like he didn’t want to get tears on Devyn’s clothes, despite them already being wet.
“I’m sorry,” he blubbered quietly. “I’m sorry I haven’t helped you as much as I should have. I’m sorry I was gone. I love you and I always will. I just want you to be happy and feel better. I trust you, Devyn. Lie to me if you have to. I know whatever you decide is for the best, even if I don’t like it,” he reminded him.
“But you don’t have to. I want to share your pain. I want to make this world a better place, with you. You remember that, don’t you?” he sobbed, his voice desperate for Devyn to remember everything they’d promised each other.
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2022 6:29 pm
Eternal Sailor AlastorWell. He did have permission to lie. He’d always had permission from Percy, he didn’t think it counted from his imposter, too. But, it reassured something in him.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry. Here,” he said, and adjusted his sleeve so he could dab at the wetness on the would-be Percy’s cheeks. In the dim lighting, he could have lied to himself. He could have slipped into the fantasy. If this had been a year ago, he might have.
Or, maybe he’d have been stronger then. Back when he didn’t remember so much. There was grief in his heart now, and guilt.
A year ago, it was still buried so deeply that he wouldn’t have dreamed about uncovering it.
When the tears were dried, he collected ‘Percy’ into his arms. He weighed nothing. Less than Alastor had imagined, even. Maybe he was just stronger now. Maybe the shadows weighed nothing.
He had expected pain, or resistance. Expected an enemy.
Not this, not really.
“Don’t apologize for that. I know you love me.” Did the Chaos enjoy this? It had to know this was a lie. Did it want to see him come undone? Was it not easy enough to just slink into his Core, did he want to peel away Alastor’s layers, break down all of his walls?
He was taking too long down here.
And yet, he was close. He couldn’t rush it, he couldn’t lose this.
“And I love you too, Perce. In this life and every other. You don’t have to be sorry about being gone, you’ve been working. I know it’s not easy to juggle all of this. You’ve done so well, you work so hard. We’ll make Alastor a better place, there’s still time. I know you want to help, you’ve always wanted to help.”
For a moment, he stood still; he held ‘Percy’ in his arms, cradled to his chest. He relaxed in the quietness of the room. It was still a bit cold here, but he knew the Core was a kinder location. It was warmer. It was safer.
It was a gentle light, hidden just around the first bend in this cavern. He rocked ‘Percy’ just a bit as he stood, in the familiar way he might have if he was real. He missed it. He missed everything about Percy, and it wasn’t fair that this falsehood could mimic him so well.
Percy was special. Unique. One of a kind.
And here, a shadow was impersonating him. Very well.
The Core was close. Out of sight, still, but its energy hummed through the cavern. He took one step towards it, to. Slow, careful.
He’d promised to be safe.
He was doing his best.
”Percy”In Devyn’s arms, Percy rested against him. He had his arm up over Devyn’s shoulder so he could gently card his fingers through Devyn’s hair. He scratched lightly at the back of his neck, and massaged in a way that was meant to relieve tension.
He sniffled still, because once he started crying, it wasn’t easy for him to stop. He leaned close and pressed his cold nose against Devyn’s neck in an attempt to warm it up.
“I’ve missed you,” he said quietly as he tried to calm himself down. “All I’ve ever wanted was to be with you. I hate that we’ve been separated for so long. But we’ll always be together, won’t we?” he asked, looking up at Devyn with tear filled eyes.
And then once he had his attention, Percy leaned close again so he could kiss Devyn. After all, Devyn was his husband.
Eternal Sailor AlastorThe worst part was that Alastor could feel Percy in the movements. The nails at his neck, the fingers in his nair, the sniffles, the cold nose. The kiss.
He’d told himself the Chaos would be too keen to get to his Core. He’d been so certain that he could have just given it just enough hope to keep it focused on that.
He knew it wasn’t real. He repeated it in his head once, twice, a dozen times.
Alastor dipped It just a little so he could deepen the kiss.
He tasted blood. He tasted poison.
Bitter, acrid disappointment. Death.
But, Alastor kissed It. For as long as It wanted.
Even if none of this made sense. He was already disarmed, already vulnerable. They’d already gotten to the Core. The Shadow could have stretched over to it, could have sunk its fangs into it. Could have tried to pollute his world like It was polluting him.
The building frustration started off small but rapidly compounded. Alastor had to do everything in his power to suppress it.
He wondered if this was punishment for holding out for so long. Of course the Chaos would have had all this time to read him, to learn from him. To know just how to hurt him. Maybe this was out of spite for not giving in sooner.
He couldn’t imagine there was meant to be any kindness in this gesture.
Alastor kissed the imposter with as much needy insistence as he would have kissed Percy, and he hoped it distracted It because he was putting in a lot of effort to distract himself, too. The steps from the stairs to the Core felt longer than the whole length of the Hall, and every step felt like he wasn’t getting anywhere.
He kissed until he couldn’t breathe. Kissed until he’d carried It around the bend. Kissed until they were both basked in the light of the Core of his world.
At the Core was light. A shell of liquid gold rivers spiraled leisurely around it, and every now and then little golden drops splashed out of the stream. They fluttered, like little fireflies, before diving back into the metallic rivulents. The cameras hadn’t done the Core any justice.
Despite the ball of light easily being the size of Devyn’s height and then some, the brightness was never overwhelming. It had sunken into the wall, either because the space had been deliberately carved out or because the cavern had just accepted it over time. It seemed as natural to this place as the thick roots that had punctured through the ceiling and partly wrapped around the Core. They created a gentle embrace, and the shell of roots had grown around the Core as if it were trying to protect it.
The Core twisted slowly, patiently. Alastor could see his heartbeat in the soft, pulsing light from the center of it all. Too rapid, too desperate.
He let the light wash over him. Let it strengthen him.
It wasn’t as bright as it had been an hour ago, a day ago, a year ago.
His world understood this plan. This was intentional. It wasn’t anything else.
Alastor had faith in that.
When his lips broke away from ‘Percy’s’, he resisted the urge to lose himself to the rhythmic call of the Core. He didn’t think the light was bright enough to burn away the shadows, not like this.
But that was okay. This was part of the plan.
His heart was pounding, maybe the Shadow could feel it.
Alastor looked down at It. “I missed you, too. You make me dizzy with kisses like that, it’s a good thing we waited. If we’d still been outside, I might have had to take a seat.”
He was the strongest at his Core, and his weakest.
He felt that so clearly right now.
“You’re always with me, Perce. Everywhere I go, you’re in my heart. But I know what you mean. I hate that it’s been so long, too. It’s not fair. It hurt so much without you. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who I was. I was lost.”
Alastor swallowed the pain in his throat and ignored the shards of broken glass that sliced into his stomach. He didn’t know how they’d eviscerated his heart on the way down, but he felt that, too.
“...But you found me again.”
Only, Michael’s face flashed in his mind instead of Percy’s.
“Like always. I like to think you’ve been looking after me all this time. Even if we didn’t know it.”
”Percy”The Core was beautiful. Pulsing with warm, too bright energy. It wasn’t so bright that it was painful to look at. It seemed weakened. In despair from how long it had gone festering and rotting away. So much that even roots had broken through the ceiling to fill the room with overgrowth.
Percy watched Devyn as he pulled back, and could feel the way his heart was beating quickly in his chest. He placed his hand on Devyn’s cheek to stroke tenderly.
“Then why did you let me die?”
The Core was so close. Lax judgment due to Devyn’s muddled memories perhaps. Wanting so desperately to see his dead husband again.
Percy’s lips were stained red with blood, the color of his skin fading from a healthy glow to sunken and sickly. It had its arm around Devyn’s shoulder, fingers still smoothing through the strands of his hair, maybe pulling a little tighter than before.
“You let me die, Devyn. Because you were so determined to never lose a fight. Because that was so important to you. More than me. So I got hurt in your stead. And you let me die.”
Eternal Sailor AlastorHis heart stopped.
At first, he didn’t know why, but then the answer was simple.
It just registered the words before his mind did.
For a few seconds it was like he forgot how to hear, and then it was like he forgot the language all together. He had to jump through hoops to translate the words, and by the end he regretted it.
The cavern was cold, but his blood was colder. His hands felt numb. He couldn’t feel anything below his elbows, anyway, and all he could feel in his chest was a hot, stabbing sensation. He thought he heard the crunching of metal, and it felt like the ground trembled beneath him.
He stared into the Core, but a part of him thought maybe he’d just misheard.
Looking at ‘Percy’ had been a mistake, and Alastor was frozen in horror at the sight of him in his arms like this. Maybe he felt the tightness in his hair. Maybe he felt like he deserved it.
His head was swimming, it was the least important thing on his mind.
He saw this face in his nightmares. Sometimes, it’s why he couldn’t sleep.
His heart must have started beating again because he felt dizzy from the sudden rush of blood. The pounding in his head was erratic and loud.
Not loud enough to drown out the voice, though.
For a moment, Alastor couldn’t answer. His hands were clammy. He knew something was wrong. He was a few feet from the Core, though, and when he couldn’t be sure what his own heart was doing, he could watch it and know that it was disturbed. He was disturbed. It spun quicker, and the light flickered and sparked. For a second, it flashed like the lightning outside.
He couldn’t take his eyes off of Its sickly face. Percy’s face. A perfect replica. Disrespectful and cruel.
This wasn’t how Alastor remembered him.
He didn't want to be reminded of this.
When he spoke, his voice was not his own. It was quiet, and raw, and wispy, like it took too much energy to properly summon his own voice.
“That’s not true. I didn’t want you to get hurt. You weren’t supposed to get hurt.”
”Percy”“You could never really protect me, could you? Someone else always had to be there to do it for you,” it said as black tendrils crept up its neck as the blood in its veins turned black. It wasn’t a pretty sight, and if not for the fact that he’d actually recovered from that illness, it might have been more horrifying to see the physical changes of his body as his fingers turned black with rot the quickest.
“You couldn’t fight off the control of a child. And you were so helpless. If not for the others there, I would have died then,” it reminded him.
“The only part of you that suffered from that time was your pride. While the rest of us were coughing up blood and our organs failed. I should have done myself a favor then and cut you better -- give you a wound that was too deep to heal,” it hummed in Percy’s voice, its free, blackened hand reaching to brush over the outside of Devyn’s as he held it, knowing the scar was there, hidden from view on his palm and up his forearm.
Eternal Sailor AlastorIf it hadn’t still looked like Percy, he’d have dropped it to the floor immediately. As if the Rot was contagious.
Those weren’t Percy’s words. Those weren’t his thoughts.
He knew his husband, who had put so much energy into reassuring him, into speaking kind words, into supporting him.
This wasn’t Percy.
And yet, it still cut deep.
Alastor had shared some of those thoughts before. Of course he regretted not being able to protect Percy better. Of course he anguished about the influence Marius had over him. Of course he’d been upset that Percy had gotten sick.
But it was more complicated than that.
In that moment, it just didn’t feel like it. The imitation made it sound so simple. Even if it was wrong, it wasn’t entirely wrong. Alastor’s jaw clenched as he looked down at It.
The Core was distracting; it spun quicker, and pulsed erratically. It looked like glass shards had broken and were twisting around inside. It was too easy to imagine them piercing and slicing. The light dimmed and brightened uncertainty. He could watch his heartbeat through the Core.
It was mesmerizing. In the sickening.
His stomach was upside down. Or shredded. Or on fire.
His body didn’t feel like his own.
“Why are you saying these things?” he asked. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t know why the words came out. It wasn’t Percy.
It wasn’t Percy.
”Percy”“Because I never had the chance to say it before,” it answered simply. The rot faded slowly, the tendrils that crept up Percy’s face retreated. At its side, it moved its hand away from where it touched Devyn’s, and instead pulled the hilt of a dagger from its side.
It would be no threat to Devyn -- there was no blade other than a few remaining fragments. The figure of Percy coughed, and it politely held the back of its wrist against its mouth so the blood didn’t get everywhere. The blood on the back of its wrist and the dagger it held started crystalizing before their very eyes, turning dull in color as any nutrients were depleted.
“You liked that I never argued,” the figure pointed out, seemingly mesmerized by the way the blood mutated into sharp shards. “I never spoke out against you. I supported you in everything. I neglected my duties as a Knight to be with you, because without me you would have turned into the monster you feared you’d become. I was the only thing holding you back -- and sometimes even that wasn’t enough.
“And in return…?” it continued, looking up at Devyn once more with cold hatred. “You didn’t even wait to see if I could fight this on my own. You decided for me. It’s your fault I died. And you didn’t have the courage to die with me.”
Eternal Sailor AlastorThe weight in his heart grew. Imploded. Exploded. He felt a raw, exposed cavity in his chest. He felt the blood drip out, he felt ice and fire. He felt numb.
There were memories that Alastor didn’t touch, even now.
He knew they were there. He kept them quietly tucked away, where he couldn’t think about them. Where they couldn’t hurt him, couldn’t hurt anyone.
Percy had never looked at him with such hatred. The expression was foreign on his face, it looked like it didn’t belong there.
Percy had always trusted him. Always believed in him. He had plenty of chances to speak against him if he’d wanted. He could have argued–had they ever argued?–that felt wrong. They’d disagreed, sometimes.
No, they’d never argued. They hadn’t even argued about Marius.
He couldn’t take his eyes off of the crystalizing blood. He didn’t need to see that again. He knew what Percy had gone through before. Knew how he’d suffered. How he would have suffered.
It was digging in old wounds, tearing open old scars. Some of them hadn’t ever even started to heal. Some of them didn’t feel like they ever would.
There was no truth in the words.
There was no truth in the words.
They weren’t Percy’s, so they didn’t matter. This was an imitation. It was no different than any other rumor, any other insult.
It wasn’t real.
Percy wouldn’t say those things. Wouldn’t think those things. He’d trusted him.
He said he trusted him, in everything.
Percy didn’t have the capacity for hatred. Not even for people who deserved it.
The look was wrong on him.
It was enough to start the slow simmer. Grief and regret and doubt and pain turned to frustration, and frustration to anger, and anger to rage.
Alastor didn’t breathe. Every emotion compounded. Again. Again.
He felt everything and nothing simultaneously.
Alastor breathed. Slow. Patient.
It wasn’t Percy.
It wasn’t Percy.
It could never be Percy.
He took one step towards the Core. Slower than he meant. His body was working against him. An unnatural weight had come over him. He felt hands around his ankles and he wondered if his own shadow was trying to work against him.
It wasn’t enough.
He was more than the Chaos on his world, and whatever polluted lies it could spew. He wished he could reach into his pocket just to feel Sessrumnir’s ring against his skin.
But, he felt it in his pocket.
It was enough.
This wasn’t real.
And this needed to end. Soon. Now.
He didn’t answer It.
The weight slowed him, but it didn’t stop him.
He held It closer and took another step forward.
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Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2022 6:30 pm
”Percy”As Alastor took a step forward towards the unstable light of the Core, the figure in his arms seemed to realize something was off. It didn’t like the expression Alastor had in return.
Its face shifted into something hideous, and while there were some features of Percy there, it was obviously no longer trying to hide its true nature.
“Let go,” it hissed, now struggling against Alastor’s grip, for while it could still change its shape somewhat, it seemed to be temporarily bound to a physical form. The Chaos took all of its understanding of Alastor, the world and the man, to form something so intricate that now it needed time to revert to its shadow self.
Long claws grew from its fingers, and it aimed to drag and slash them from the back of Alastor’s shoulder to his chest as it struggled for a proper hold to force Alastor to release it.
Eternal Sailor AlastorIf It tore skin, if It drew blood, Alastor didn’t feel it. He dragged himself another step closer, and found strength in the distortion. It wasn’t Percy.
There wasn’t any relief in understanding that. He’d know that from the beginning. It didn’t feel like losing him again but it still hurt to watch his face slip into this.
But it was better that they both lost their masks.
A muscle in his face twitched, and he finally caved in. He grit his teeth with such ferocity that he wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d cracked something. His fingers dug into the false flesh with such force that his nails disappeared into the illusion. He didn’t know if the Chaos could feel pain.
But, he wanted it to.
The next few steps were easier. He’d already given in.
The illusion was broken.
There was nothing left but to finish what he’d started.
Light burst from the Core, hungry and erratic. The walls Alastor had built up were coming down. The rivers of gold picked up speed, swirling faster. Wind whipped in the room, and if he hadn’t tied his hair back before he’d come down here, he might not have been able to see at all. Energy surged from it.
He felt it. He wondered if they could feel it upstairs, too. He wondered if the Chaos could feel it.
He wondered if It felt fear.
It should have. He wanted it to.
Alastor’s Core was usually peaceful. Even he’d only ever seen it act up a handful of times, in all the years he’d been alive.
Now, it was mad. Desperate. Maybe as much as he was.
Whatever storm raged outside, a new one raged in here.
The Core wasn’t a physical thing, not really; it was warm and welcoming, usually. He’d dipped his hands in before, swirled the golden currents with his fingers. The fireflies had danced out and swam around him.
Alastor could feel its warmth from a few steps away, and by the time he reached it, it felt hot.
Or, maybe it was him. It didn’t hurt.
He gathered what he could of the Chaos and held it in a vice grip.
The plan had always been to give it to the Core. To sacrifice it. To burn it up, to destroy it. If this killed it all at once, good.
But, Alastor wasn’t so optimistic.
This was just a part of the plan.
When Alastor reached it now, he felt its warmth. Almost painful. Not enough to do hurt, just enough to make him feel something stable.
The Core fluctuated in size–a little bigger, a little smaller. Like it was preparing for something.
Alastor yanked the Chaos, in whatever form it had managed, from himself and shoved as much of it into the Core as he could. He didn’t care about dipping his hands into it, he didn’t care about himself going into it.
The Core was a part of himself, he wasn’t afraid of it.
He pushed the Chaos in, and kept pushing. He wasn’t going to let it escape.
He didn’t let go.
”Percy”Perhaps it had underestimated Alastor’s strength, or perhaps it didn’t realize Alastor had a chance to regain his powers after losing them for centuries.
The figure shifted again. And perhaps it did feel fear, or maybe it was just one more attempt to manipulate Alastor into making a mistake. After all, without Alastor giving over his mind and heart, it could never get full access to the Core.
A younger Percy clasped desperately to Devyn’s wrists as tears filled and fell from his big, storm gray eyes. His hair was shorter, to his shoulders, which Percy hadn’t started growing out until he was at least eighteen.
He looked at Devyn with pure terror.
“I’m s-sorry,” he choked back sobs, his voice breaking with emotion. “Please-- Devyn, you’re hurting me. It-- you’re holding too tight-- I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
He was writhing in pain -- in agony. Percy screamed from the heat of the light as he was shoved into the Core. As he was mercilessly smothered in it.
“Devyn-- please stop--!” he begged and sobbed and grasped helplessly at Devyn’s wrists as his body convulsed from being torn apart by the Core itself.
Eternal Sailor AlastorThat time, he heard the desperation. He heard Percy’s voice. That time, memories rattled loose in his mind. The fog in his mind was thick, and for all that it protected him, it hurt him, too.
For a split second, he did see Percy. Young and vulnerable. Scared.
The day they’d met.
For a second, Alastor lost track of time. The present meant nothing. The future was far away. The past was then, or now, he didn’t know.
One hand stayed firm on the imposter’s shoulder, but his other hand raised to cup his cheek and it felt so real. The tears were moist beneath his touch.
He didn’t see the imposter, he saw Percy.
He remembered the exact moment he’d first laid eyes on Percy. He remembered the exact moment they’d met.
Maybe he could have saved Percy. Maybe, if they’d never met, things would have been different.
Maybe Percy would have lived a long and happy life. Maybe he’d have found someone else, someone who could have loved him like Devyn didn’t come with all of the baggage. Someone who wasn’t trying to outrun a bloody legacy. Someone who could have pampered him and spoiled him and protected him.
Maybe Devyn could have managed his world. Maybe he wouldn’t have been as soft. He wouldn’t have been as happy. Maybe he wouldn’t have lived as long, but maybe the Chaos never would have spread like this. Maybe he’d have died young and his next incarnation would have been stronger, more competent.
Maybe he still could have done any ounce of good.
Percy was his strength. Had been, for as long as he could remember.
And he’d been gone for nearly as long, too.
Devyn had always been weak to the tears, especially Percy’s. The light of the Core was eating up the Shadow, stripping it into threads that burned away. The light was getting brighter; pure white that glowed with such force things started to get blurry.
Oh–no, that was the moisture in his eyes.
It didn’t matter now, he didn’t need to see this. And yet, he couldn’t pull his eyes away.
He wanted to tell himself that it wasn’t Percy.
But, it didn’t matter.
Percy had been young when he died. Not this young, but young. He should have lived decades more.
He should have had a chance.
And Devyn had killed him.
And he was doing it again.
The last image Alastor saw before the light erupted from his core was Percy’s desperate, tear-stained face as he apologized. As he begged.
The explosion was silent, but it rattled the Hall. Dust shook from the walls, the ceilings. Lightning exploded from the sky and struck a perfect circle around the perimeter, and even if they couldn’t see it, they could feel it.
The entire cavern was flooded with light so blinding that the camera short circuited; the screen stayed white even after the shockwave of raw energy shot out from the Core.
Every candle flared to life, every lightbulb surged with power.
The gold in Michael’s necklace flaked away, replaced instead with a beacon of stark, white light.
The necklace was still.
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