Illyria was dreaming. She knew that. Because there would be no way that she would ever find herself back on Astraya otherwise. That place had been a curious kitten's dream to explore but even as she had done so had the dream begun to shift into a nightmare and she had been too naive to see that transition. By the time she had begun conversing with Surly had the net of deception been securely thrown around her form, ensnaring her. Even as the golden tendrils once more sprouted forth from Surly's inorganic body to pierce her tiny body did she yowl out in response. The noise of her cries was enough to startle her out of the hard fought slumber she yearned for. Panting softly did the tiny form flinch in response of the remembered pain. Those golden tendrils , when they had struck her chest, had hurt terribly. And it was no wonder that they had for they had been rooting around inside looking for that which was most precious of all to her ... her starseed.

Trembling now even in remembrance did Illyria wish once more that what had transpired on that seemingly cursed place had not taken place. History though could not be changed and what had happened happened. Illyria rose from her supine position on the ground that she had been resting on before gracelessly licking at a paw and swiping it over her left ear. It twitched as a response and with that knowledge that she was once more safely ensconced on Earth did she breathe a little easier. But the nightmares had still not left her, even after the weeks that had passed since. Was she doomed to remember what had transpired every time she went to close her eyes. She was becoming a shell of herself in fear of bringing disturbances to those that knew her. It wasn't fair to bring any more personal demons into other peoples lives, was it?

Even as Illyria finished her impromptu grooming session did the small feline take stock of everything. She was definitely on edge. Getting little to no sleep had caused her to jump at every little sudden noise that sprung up around her. At least her appetite hadn't been affected ... yet. Sniffling softly Illyria yearned for anyone's lap to curl up in. A soothing voice telling her things would be okay and a gentle petting motion to lull her into a sense of security. Those were things that she needed - things that could possibly help to settle her nerves, to allow her to rest without nightmares plaguing her dreams. But those were things she didn't have because of her own foolish need to prove that she was perfectly fine.

In reality though Illyria was suffering. It was like she was scrambling to find purchase on the ground that continued to crumble underneath her paws. Just like she had been ensnared back on Astraya had she found herself ensnared in a shroud of denial back on Earth. Sinking deeper and deeper into a hole that seemed intent on swallowing the tiny kitten whole.