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 Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2022 7:20 pm
Thankfully it wasn’t difficult to find General King Jet’s office, and judging by the large energy signature that Tristan felt, he was home. Which…honestly was quite important.
It might have been easier reaching out to her General first, but she didn’t really know Faustite that well, and besides…Jet had been the one to bring her into this. The one that…knew how it all worked so…it just made sense to go right to him to confess and…share her fears and concerns.
She remained outside of the door for a few minutes, worrying a hangnail on her thumb and finally gave the door a soft tap, and then, fearing it wouldn’t be heard, a bit of a harder knock.
She was a super senshi now. She had earned power within the Negaverse…perhaps that would…make this go a little bit easier.
“...General King Jet? It’s um. Tristan. I just…needed to talk a little, if you have the time?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2022 10:05 am
He was seriously considering just leaving his office door open. There were several times throughout the day that people would wander up to his office, maybe change their mind and leave, or stand there for a while as they worked up the courage. As if he couldn’t feel them. It was distracting, although not as frustrating as it probably could have been.
He wasn’t working on any projects at the moment, so maybe that was why it didn’t bother him if people took their time.
“I have time,” he said, waiting for her to enter and shut the door behind her before gesturing to one of the chairs or the couch if she preferred. He was already sitting at the edge of his desk, but there was enough space between himself and the chairs so it shouldn’t have been too uncomfortable for someone that might have been nervous.
“Are you hungry? I just made some coffee,” he offered, glancing over to the table where he had his own coffee machine and mugs. There were snacks there as well.
“How can I help? How’s Guinevere doing?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2022 10:19 am
Tristan took a seat at the desk, shaking her head with the offer for coffee and food, she wasn’t really hungry, and in fact her stomach was doing things that made food…not a great thought at all. “Gwen’s great! She’s doing really good. We. We’re really happy together.”
Blowing out a long breath, she looked around the office before getting the courage to look back at Jet. “...I’ve been. Thinking a lot. I’m. I mean…”
Damnit. This was more difficult than she would have thought, but…she had come here to confess and get some assistance and some advice, and he wasn’t difficult to talk to, it just.
…Obviously she knew what she was thinking was wrong so…that was all.
“I’ve been wondering lately if I made the right decision. Obviously, being with Gwen was the right decision, but…I look at those on the White Moon…I mean, those…who are still with the White Moon, and I don’t know why I didn’t fight to bring Gwen back to me...though…I spoke with a Squire earlier and…using my magic she actually said she would have done what I did, so that was nice to hear but…I don’t want to question my choices. I hate this.”
Tristan’s eyes were firmly on her hands which were twisting in her lap at this point, and it suddenly made her worried that…this would be seen as treason. It…kind of was. At least the thoughts were.
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Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2022 7:51 am
Jet rested against the edge of the desk, both hands on the edge for support. He didn’t want to casually cross his arms and make it seem like he was being defensive when he wasn’t. If she trusted him enough to talk to him about what she felt, well. He was both flattered and surprised. It was probably a good thing that she went to him and not someone else who could possibly overreact.
“Okay,” he said after a few moments, nodding to her concerns. “Talk me through it. What are the benefits of being with the White Moon?”
Tristan was talking to him. Which was more than what could be said for others.
Sylvite had abandoned her team without saying anything to them. And yet they still thought that she would care if they tried looking for her? She didn’t care about them enough to begin with. All her talk about friendship was bullshit.
“Just breathe,” he tried to reassure her. He didn’t think he was standing too close to her but… he reached for the other chair at the front of his desk so he could pull it closer to himself and sat down as well. Maybe it would be easier if he was on her level.
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Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2022 10:21 am
Nodding, Tristan drew in a long breath, letting it out slowly. “All right…I’m breathing, but…what’s the benefits? I don’t know…I mean. I won’t get my life back. I won’t get my memories either…I won’t remember who I was before leaving…I’d get a friend back, who I do miss…I mean…”
She looked thoughtful and wrinkled her nose. “Maybe that’s my issue. Is…Gwen can’t remember things anyway so…why didn’t I fight for her to come with me? I just. I feel kind of foolish is what it really boils down to. I gave my life up for her…when she already lost everything…ah. I don’t know.”
It…sounded pretty damn selfish when just put out in the open like that. “Maybe it’s. Maybe I’m just selfish. It kind of feels like it, and now honestly? I’m wondering what my real issue is. She forgot me, you know. I don’t…remember…anything of my old life, outside of meeting her. She saved me from a youma…I’m pretty sure. I think. Anyway. When I…I mean. I spent most of my time trying to be as cool as her so…”
Tristan rubbed the bridge of her nose now and gave Jet a rather sheepish smile. “...I am…so sorry to have turned you into a therapist. I…feel kind of stupid, to be honest. I don’t know. What if she just. What if I made a mistake?”
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Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2022 10:51 am
Tristan might have been smiling, but Jet wasn’t. The more she spoke the more furrowed his brows became. He was trying to understand. Not so much as to why she felt the way she did, but understand why she thought it was prudent to talk to a General King about her wavering loyalties.
“When I agreed to bring you into our ranks, you told me you understood your memories would be fractured and that you were prepared for it, said you had information written down,” Jet reminded her, unimpressed by the way she was now second guessing things.
“You said you thought about the risks and that you wanted this, to fight beside Guinevere and everything she fought for. Guinevere vouched for you. I even promoted her based on her growth as a senshi and how she was able to help you get comfortable here.”
He didn’t seem angry. He didn’t seem annoyed. Yet. Confused, yes, but maybe it was because she seemed so flippant about everything. And he had no idea if she was talking about anyone else other than Guinevere, so until she clarified, he would just assume it was her that saved Tristan from a youma.
“You didn’t answer my question. What are the benefits of being with the White Moon? Have you talked to Guinevere about this? Maybe she didn’t want to feel alone in losing her memories. That you could build memories together.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2022 11:01 am
“I’m..trying. I’m sorry.” Tristan looked down at her hands and sighed, feeling almost worse than when this all started but. “...I don’t know. I know I was prepared. I want to…we talked about it yeah. She said she was glad I came over, and I don’t know if she would have done the same for me. I’m just. Being selfish, and I apologize for wasting your time…”
She still hadn’t answered his question, but…truthfully, she couldn’t think of an answer. “I don’t think there really are any. I was isolated there. I didn’t have any friends really, and I spent all my time searching for Gwen, and trying to figure out what to do with myself. But.”
Looking up, Tristan was frowning. “...Do we have any therapists in the Negaverse? Do we have someone that people can just go to and talk to? Is that something that. Could be done?”
Not that she had ever thought of herself as any kind of a therapist but. It would help. It might help a lot more than just her, too.
“Maybe if we could figure that out, I woudln’t have to come and unload all of my dumb brain problems on you. Do…and I was a fool not to ask this before. But do you do any like. College payment? If I were to sign up for classes on it. Would you all pay for it? Do you think…I mean.”
Drawing in another deep breath, Tristan shrugged. “Maybe my issue is that I don’t feel like I have any purpose other than Gwen. I planned for this, but. Even with the White Moon I just floundered. Maybe that’s the big problem that I need to fix. And maybe this could be a fix.”
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2022 5:57 pm
“We do have therapists. They’re tied to our hospital. The Special Ops branch is expected to meet up with a professional therapist to assess they are still capable of doing their duties, for example,” Jet said as he continued to watch her curiously. If she was in the White Moon, she wouldn’t even have someone to talk to about any of this. The White Moon had no structure. She would have been on her own, hoping for the best.
“I’m the wrong person to ask about the Negaverse paying for colleges, though. I’ve been working since I was fifteen to keep myself alive. Never went to college. Dropped out of high school so I could work and feed myself,” he shared. He wasn’t looking for pity or sympathy, and his expression didn’t say that he was. It was what it was. He did his best as an officer, just as he did his best as a teenager trying to survive on his own.
“But we’ve got plenty of Mauvians that can probably put together some scholarship documentation,” he added with a shrug. He didn’t know much about the process, and he wasn’t going to pretend like he did. “General King Lepidolite is more familiar with the school system, especially since they start handing out scholarships in high school. I think. And General King Axinite is familiar with the back end of things. But…”
He paused and considered her for a few moments, and then sighed. He wished that he knew what was going on with everyone in the Negaverse. He didn’t know how Axinite kept up with so many people. Jet was just trying to figure things out as he went.
“I’ve always told those who come to me that you should do what you want. When I first joined there was a lot of talk about people who couldn’t hold their own just being used for fodder -- sent to the front lines on suicide missions, things like that. I don’t agree with that kind of mentality. I think if you want to go to school so you can have a purpose in the Negaverse then, yeah. Do you want to be a therapist? You could probably help a lot more people here who really need it. You can’t exactly go to any therapist and talk about the things you’ve experienced without the risk of getting hurt or worse.”
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2022 6:29 pm
Tristan nodded, looking more and more interested, more and more excited, honestly. “Why don’t you go now? To school, I mean. If you wanted to, I’m sure that they would help you too. Obviously. I’m not. Anyone important.” Yet. She could be. She really could end up helping a lot of people and that…
That sounded so...nice.
“Anyway, I’m not anyone important, but if you don’t have your GED or something, or even…shoot, we could do college together! Help one another get through it!” Though, she was sure they’d be different majors but…still.
There was a bright grin on Tristan’s face now, and she was happy she had come to the office. Happy she had trusted him enough to speak her mind. “I know that you’re not like that. The suicide missions and all that. You’re. You care about us. I know that, have known that since we met. I’m glad that you’re here to talk to, I’ll…do that. Reach out to Axinite and Lepidolite. I’ll find out if I can get covered…and I’ll do my best for all of you.” It sounded like the promise that it was.
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2022 6:55 pm
Jet snorted softly in amusement and shook his head. “With how everyone around here keeps me busy? I don’t think I’d have time for classes,” he admitted, but he offered her a small smile in reassurance. “But thank you. I do have my GED at least.”
As a General Sovereign, he was lucky that Lovely was able to keep it so he didn’t have to work a real job any more. He still worked on his music, but it was a lot different than the full time job he had on top of being a Negaverse officer.
But when she promised to do her best for him, he shook his head.
“Not for me. For the Negaverse and for yourself first. If you need help keeping up with your quotas, make sure your General knows. We should be able to work with you and anyone else struggling, especially if they’re taking classes to better themselves. Okay?”
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2022 7:04 pm
“Yeah! I’ll make sure. But.” Tristan shrugged. “You could still do it, even if you don't have much time. It might be good for you, I mean, no pressure, but I bet you could really…” Really something. What? Change the world? Was that too stupid to say? It sounded too stupid to say, so Tristan didn’t bother finishing her thought.
“I’ll make sure I talk to my General if I struggle, but honestly, the recreation of keeping up with the quota might be the best thing to get my mind off of the lessons, or, at least give me. Outside time.”
Do her best for herself. For the Negaverse. She could do that. Now that she had a plan and didn’t feel so on edge or groundless…she could do that.
“Thank you for taking the time to talk with me, I really appreciate this, and…still. First for myself, then for the Negaverse, but then for you. Just because it’s due to you that I'm here. And you deserve my best. That’s why I came to talk to you. So I could be my best.”
And now. Now she would.
The first step would be to enroll in school and maybe make friends with any other therapists that resided in the organization. If there were any.
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