|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:18 am
Vyn put a little distance between himself and the others. He found a sizable piece of rubble — maybe it had once been a decorative column; maybe it was a toppled statue — and sat down on the flattest part of it, drawing his legs up to his chest so he could prop his chin on his knees.
He kept his blaster in one hand, wary of their surroundings, and the people stuck here with them. Not that he expected it would do much good. It hadn’t before. His efforts were insignificant, and probably always would be.
The stars above were unfamiliar. Vyn gazed at them through burning eyes, trying and failing to pick out recognizable constellations. There were none. They were somewhere strange and distant — far away from Velencya, far away from Earth, far away from any place that had ever been home.
Vyn wished for home. He wished for ignorance, that he might be able to go back to a simpler time, when he knew nothing of the fate his people might face. He even wished, sometimes, that he could tell his younger self to give up on his dreams, that the Vanguard was not what he expected, that even when he found a place within it, he still would not belong.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:34 am
Aliez knew it was difficult for all of them, but in many ways it was more difficult for Vyn.
Vyn had undying, strong devotion and loyalty towards the Commodore and towards Velencya. For others to question their motives and their abilities and what they knew and who they trusted… It was hard. It was miserable. It was devastating.
He hadn’t spent too much time with Caedus before finding out he was Velenia’s Senshi, and that they needed his starseed to be reborn in order to give Velenia a fighting chance -- to give Velencya and the Commodore a fighting chance… but he didn’t hate Caedus.
He knew he should. He knew he would have given up his own starseed without hesitation if it meant saving all of those he cared about, but Caedus… there weren’t many still around he cared about. Not after being in Earth’s Rift for so long. Lost. Abandoned. Sent to die.
Aliez didn’t want the Commodore to die. He didn’t want the millions of people losing their home of Velencya because they failed to get Caedus’ starseed. His loyalty was with the Commodore and with Velencya.
And with his friends.
Quietly, and cautiously so he didn’t startle Vyn (although Vyn had much better perception than Aliez knew he would ever have), he approached and found a spot next to him on the rubble. He didn’t anything. Not yet. Instead, he just sat there next to him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 11:19 am
Vyn sensed Aliez’s presence more than he heard him. He expected Aliez would follow him eventually, and had left enough flat space on the rubble that Aliez might be able to make himself comfortable.
With a sniffle, Vyn wiped at his face with his sleeve. He didn’t look at his friend, but kept staring up into the star-strewn sky.
Earth and Destiny City had their benefits, but it was not always so easy to see the stars like this — so bright and expansive. For a long time, the stars had been the only home they’d ever known.
“I don’t understand what any of us are doing here,” he said, voice strained with emotion he struggled to suppress. “Not here, but… in the Vanguard.”
It was nothing like he imagined as a child, when his dreams seemed out of reach.
Perhaps they should have stayed that way.
“Sometimes I think we were sent to Earth because we're expendable, so if any of us died during the mission, it wouldn’t be any great loss,” he continued. “The Council of Elders probably expected the Commodore to succeed, and if he didn’t… oh well, at least it was only a couple of Commanders and some unqualified Cadets, not an entire elite force.
“Now we’re stuck, and the Commodore’s doing the best he can, but the rest of us…”
Vyn glanced briefly over his shoulder to make sure they weren’t within earshot of anyone else. He didn’t want to insult his friends, or make them feel as he felt, but the more he tried to do his duty as a Corporal, the more it felt as if most of them — including Vyn himself — weren’t living up to their training.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 1:47 pm
Aliez didn’t blame Vyn for his thoughts. He often felt the same way. Ever since arriving on Earth (but probably even before that) and the Commodore having to help him feel better due to the motion sickness he got from their landing, Aliez questioned if he was even qualified to do anything.
He was supposed to be able to take care of his fellow Vanguard, and yet he felt as though his abilities were severely lacking, despite his years of training, with and without his parents to guide him.
“The Commodore believes in us,” Aliez said quietly, but it was obvious by the dejected tone of his voice that he was simply repeating what he’d been told, not necessarily what he thought was true. “Maybe not because he actually does, or would if the situation had been different, but because he has no other choice. He works long hours researching and putting together his projects because he can’t trust the rest of us to help. We are working on our own projects, yes… but he has been stuck with a group of… trainees.”
Compared to the experience of their force back home, they were basically fledgling Vanguard. This was their first mission away from Velencya and now they were stuck on Earth, trying to accomplish something that seemed hopeless. Just as Vyn said, they were horribly unqualified. The Commodore was likely desperate when he decided to promote them to Corporal.
“I miss my parents,” he mumbled quietly, feeling like a child for saying so. “If Velencya is to perish, I wish I could be there with them.”
He didn’t want to survive on Earth if it meant millions of others died. If the Commodore was dying, he didn’t want to outlive him, knowing that they’d failed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 2:37 pm
Vyn nodded along. Everything Aliez said was a thought that’d already crossed Vyn’s mind more than once, though neither of them had ever been keen to discuss it, until now.
The Commodore believed in them, but his choices were to believe or to accept them as a lost cause, the latter of which might benefit no one. So he believed, and he encouraged them, but… Vyn had to wonder if, when the Commodore was alone in the Dark Kingdom, his thoughts were full of dread.
“It’s been nearly a year since we first landed on Earth,” Vyn said, “and in that time we’ve had no contact with home. How long does Velencya have? Has the Commodore’s absence made the situation worse? Has the Council told everyone the truth, or… has everyone been left in the dark, like we were?”
He hated to think of his parents going about their lives as normal, none the wiser that their world was dying around them.
Vyn sniffled again. His cheeks had grown wet, so he pressed his face into his knees, embarrassed to be caught crying, even by Aliez. They didn’t have time for this sort of behavior. This wasn’t the place for it.
“Sometimes it feels as if there’s no sense of urgency among some of the others,” he admitted. “As if our mission is little more than a holiday away from home. I know some of them don’t want harm to come to Caedus, but no one has offered any other solution. Not even the idea of one, just… hopes and dreams and wishes, and… it doesn’t seem to matter how dire our situation is.
“I know I’m not going to be the one to find an alternative answer,” Vyn continued. “I’ve accepted that. I’ll do what I can to help the rest of you, and if there’s a chance to acquire Caedus’s starseed, I’ll do it myself, because if saving everyone means getting my hands dirty…”
Vyn shrugged and scrubbed at his face again. It wasn’t that he wanted to do it, it was just that, without any other solution, he couldn’t stand by and not try the one thing that might work.
“In the meantime, I’ve tried to keep everyone together. I’ve tried to keep them safe, but… a lot of the time it feels like, to them, I’m still silly little Vyn with his pretty flowers, pining away for the Commodore. I suppose it doesn’t matter what I do. That’s all I’ll ever be.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 5:49 pm
“I know you’ve done everything you can. Everything the others will accept,” Aliez said softly. He cautiously placed his hand on Vyn’s back to gently rub, although if he seemed as though he didn’t want to be touched, he was ready to withdraw it quickly.
“Everyone seems so enamored by the strangeness of Earth. It is almost as if they’ve forgotten why we are here in the first place. It is frustrating. But you are more than silly little Vyn. You are my dear friend, for whatever that is worth.”
The Vanguard would always hold a place in Aliez’s heart, no matter how distracted they seemed to be, and no matter how little they seemed to care or acknowledge their culture and history.
Maybe the Council did want to get rid of them. They were bright eyed and ready to take on anything. What Vyn said -- about their expendability -- hit harder than Aliez wanted to admit.
Because here he was, trying to learn everything he could about healing and first aid and learning how to cook to give a larger variety of vegetarian and vegan options for their fellow Velencians -- although he soon realized that some of them didn’t care about things like that.
He rubbed Vyn’s back and sighed and made no comment about the tears on Vyn’s cheeks. He just wanted to be there to comfort his friend.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 6:29 pm
Vyn let the fabric over his knees soak up his tears.
“I want to go home,” he said, whispering it like he was ashamed of the emotion behind it, even if he knew there must be others who shared the feeling. “I miss my parents, too. I wish they could be proud of me, but I think, for the most part, they must be sad, and afraid.”
For Vyn, Earth became more difficult to enjoy the longer they were away from home, from family. There were aspects he liked, things he hoped to see again one day, if they were fortunate enough to reclaim Velenia. He wanted to see the sun rise on their world. He wanted to plant flowers and watch Velenia come alive with them. He wanted to sit peacefully, and listen to the wind, and know what it was like to live without fear, to have a permanent home.
More than anything, he wanted to give those things to his family, to his friends, and to their people.
“Thank you,” Vyn said, when he could speak around the lump in his throat. He swallowed it down and tipped to the side, so he could lean against Aliez’s shoulder. “Everything would be worse if you were not here, too.”
The Vanguard were his friends, but Aliez had been at his side for as long as Vyn could remember. He hoped Aliez would remain there, that when they set foot on Velenia one day, it would be together.
Vyn did not stay against him long. There was much to be done. He could not allow himself to waste precious time, even if he would like nothing more than to sit with Aliez and stare into the stars. Vyn scrubbed at his face again; when his tears had dried up, he shifted away from Aliez and climbed to his feet, brushing debris from his legs as he went.
“We should find the ship,” he decided. “I don’t want Neryn to go alone. Perhaps we’ll find something there that might help us leave here, or at least we might understand why we're meant to be here.”
He held out a hand to help Aliez up as well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 6:42 pm
For as long as Vyn rested against his shoulder, Aliez rubbed at his back. He hoped it would comfort him some, but really he knew how in over their heads they were.
He knew his parents were probably worried when they couldn’t get in contact, and for that Aliez felt guilty for leaving. He knew his parents had tried for so long to have a child. Now it was uncertain if their group would ever make it back. Or if they did, what would be left of their dying world?
Aliez looked up when Vyn stood, and reached out to take his hand with a nod.
“We should all stick together as much as possible,” he said, echoing the same sentiment Vyn voiced before but seemed to land on mostly deaf or apathetic ears.
“Thank you, Vyn. I need you here, too.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
