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 Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 6:58 pm
Everything was too ******** much.
Maybe it'd been giving up, cutting and running, to duck away from the crowd - and the robots, and the everything, because yay, yippee!!, space, not excited - but Larimar really wasn't sure ze would've been able to tolerate it any longer. Too crowded, too many overlapping voices, too many unfamiliar faces, and no sign of going home at all, and nobody seemed to even actively care about that enough to ask anyone else. Nothing. The only person ze'd seen ze sort of knew and could probably tolerate was a Lieutenant-in-law, she was under one of the other Captains that Ashanite had, ze knew her face but couldn't remember her name -- but nobody else, not in those quick searches of the crowd.
Ze'd just finally gotten over the stupid ******** rift. Being ******** -- trapped in there. For two weeks, or thereabouts, with nobody and nothing except zyr thoughts for almost all that time, trapped in stasis, barely able to sleep, with nothing, with nothing --
It'd finally stopped its ******** chokehold on zyr thoughts. Ze'd stopped being drawn back to the memory so much. It'd happened, it'd sucked, and now it was done.
Why would literally anything ever be that easy? Reality had it out for zem. Larimar knew that. Things had conspired in a way that ze had been dragged back to this godforsaken city, no control over any of it except the finest details of the arrangement, and every time ze got a break something else bad would happen, because why would literally anything good ever happen. Ze couldn't do this again. Not again. Just because there were people this time didn't make it all that much better. Weeks in proximity with total strangers, no real privacy, not with this many -- nightmare. Nightmare. That would require giving away zyr civilian identity, if ze wanted to maintain ribs that worked, and it was... no. That wasn't going to happen. Civilian life and Officer life were separate, firmly walled off almost all the way, and they needed to stay like that even if they vented into each other.
Ze sank down to the ground, back against the wall, and tried to breathe slower. It was hard going, but there was progress being made. Zyr nails were digging into zyr knees through zyr pants, bunching the fabric and making the skin cry out in pinpricks of pain - that one Senshi hadn't followed zem, at least, ze was pretty sure about that --
But there was footsteps anyways, too soft to be shoes. Larimar didn't even bother looking up. It was going to be someone ze hated, because that was how these things worked for zem, how they always worked. "******** off," ze said, and zyr voice only stuttered a little.
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2023 4:04 pm
It was no small exaggeration to say that Kerberos adored space--adored exploring new spaces, adored the chance to learn--but the tension hung thick in the air, with the main group. That damn Knight who wanted to start a fight with the Velencians, who were just trying to exist--ugh.
Kerberos hated conflict with people that were his ostensible allies, and he'd broken away as soon as he could. To take a walk, clear his head, avoid losing his temper. It still haunted him a little, how he'd lost it on that Captain he ran into, the one that bragged about killing and ate a starseed in front of him. Yeah, okay, he'd been provoked, but the way his anger had blanked out every other thought---ugh.
Some of it might have been the poison that had been eating his world alive. Some of it was almost certainly that the monster that had left a trail of corpses behind him in the Negaverse still existed, and Kerberos could not forget that.
And speaking of his past haunting him--
He hadn't meant to end up in the same place as that familiar officer. Hadn't meant to intrude on someone else who clearly needed space. But he was here now, and his instinct was to offer comfort, regardless of their history--
And it wasn't as if he wasn't used to getting snapped at.
"Charming," he said, dryly. "Are you like this with everyone, or am I special?"
Sassier than he might have wanted to be. Not exactly the best opener, but....well, he was never going to be perfect.
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Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2023 9:25 pm
Great. Fantastic. It was this ******** guy, out of all the possible goddamn people in Destiny City to come and bother zem. Just ******** great. Larimar's hands tightened spastically on zyr knees, in a way that made zem remember ze really needed to cut zyr nails more than anything, and ze still didn't bother with looking up.
What if he was looking at zem with pity or understanding, for having a panic attack who-knew-how-many miles from home, trapped in space for an unknown amount of time? No. Absolutely ******** not. Not happening. Better to not guess than to be right.
"You're not special," Larimar said, dryly, and tried not to wince at how brittle zyr voice sounded, because goddamn was that ever a giveaway ze'd been maybe about a minute from crying, and that was embarrassing more than anything else; ze wasn't about to cry in front of anyone in the Negaverse, vultures that they were, and also absolutely goddamn was not about to cry in front of mister Druid Burlesque. This would've been consistent regardless of if or if not he had, in fact, beaten zyr a** last time; Larimar just hated crying in front of anyone else, anyway, but all the added context didn't make it better. "What? Want a ******** handout?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 7:23 pm
Kerberos sighed. Yeah, okay, this one was definitely unpleasant, but that was the way of plenty of members of the Negaverse. Casually, he reached into subspace and produced a water bottle, and without saying anything, offered it out.
Murikabushi was in the habit. He'd gotten Kerberos into it too. And there were no gentle words, just a physical offering; Kerberos got the idea that if he demonstrated any kind of actual pity, it would go badly.
"I don't need anything from you," he said, and his tone wasn't nearly as cutting. "Are you good? Or, as good as can be expected, having been kidnapped to unknown space?"
Not exactly a good time, for anyone, never mind a Negaverse officer who had likely never been off planet before.
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 9:14 pm
Why was he being nice to zem.
It didn't track. What was he, one of those martyrs? What was ze saying -- he was an Order senshi, he ******** glowed, of course he thought it was his duty to act a saint. But ze was also probably getting dehydrated, and having evil principles was not worth dehydration; so Larimar uncurled a little bit from zyr hunched little huddle and grabbed the water bottle, and then shifted into a position that didn't make zyr limbs fall asleep, ow, ow, ******** ow, sparks all up zyr goddamn feet, s**t, ow.
"No," Larimar said, finally, and sounded less like ze wanted to kill him with words alone. And more like the deeply distressed, panicky, twenty-something that ze was, not that ze would've admitted it in those words. "No. I'm not ******** good. I have been kidnapped to space. Last month I got stuck in a ******** rift for a week and a half." A month and a half ago, really, but who was counting days? Ze hadn't been counting days in the rift. Mostly because Sparrow had had a dead phone and no watch, but the point remained. "I would like to go a month without going to super hell. But who's listening to me! Not the universe, obviously!"
Zyr voice cracked upward, almost hysteric.
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Posted: Sat May 27, 2023 1:14 am
Once Larimar took the offered water bottle, Kerberos casually sat down, crossing his legs and nodding along.
"That ******** sucks," he said. "I managed to miss the rifts, but as much as I love space, I am not enjoying this thing with getting yanked out to ******** at the a**-end of the universe to have a party with some robots." He wrinkled his nose, unhappily. "Also not enjoying that the only person here I've thought about punching was someone on my own side. Your people have been remarkably well behaved, though."
Granted, even the Negaverse knew how to play nice in a situation like this.
"Really hoping this is a short-lived sort of situation because it is going to get very messy up here if not."
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Posted: Mon May 29, 2023 10:26 pm
"This ******** sucks," Larimar echoed empathetically, and then took a long drink of water. Was ze dehydrated? Probably not? It was possible. Cold sweats were a b***h. Out of all the issues on zyr list, though, 'potentially slightly dehydrated' came in at a cold #47 or thereabouts, and as such was really not the topic of the hour.
"They're not my people. I don't know them, and they wouldn't ******** listen to me." Odds are they'd just get in the way, but that was all semantics and overexplained details; tomato, tomahto. It was bitching just to b***h, and Larimar knew that, and what's-his-name probably could figure it out, too, because ze wasn't exactly in the mood or the state of mind for subtlety. "If this lasts any longer than a couple of hours, though, s**t's going to go downhill really fast, huh? Are you guessing, or..."
Larimar gestured, vaguely, in a way that could've been interpreted as hey, have you seen this s**t before or what. The motion was half cut off before it even really was at all, half-asleep limbs still protesting being made to do anything at all with an unpleasant fuzz of ambiguous waking nerves.
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Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2023 5:04 am
Kerberos shrugged. True, a Captain likely had no real authority, and even if he technically could order a Lieutenant around, under these circumstance,s who would listen? Kerberos was pretty sure he'd have told anyone trying to order him around to ******** off, under these circumstances.
The question, though, made him sigh. "Mm, guessing from experience, mostly. I used to be Negaverse, know the kind of people it recruits. Volatile, bitey. and someone on my side is already picking fights, and that's not gonna get better with more time spent in an uncomfortable situation that none fo us have any control over."
He huffed. "Hopefully, we figure out exactly what's up quickly and we can all get out and go home."
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Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2023 10:13 am
...know the kind of people it recruits. Volatile, bitey. It was a mark of how worried about other things Larimar was that ze only responded to that with a half-drawled "Thaaanks," pulled too thin to really put any effort into bristling normally. It wasn't if ze had any real personal defense on that point, anyway, given ze'd eaten some guy's soul directly in front of this guy exclusively to make a spiteful and very stupid point.
"Can we get a break from outside-problem bullshit for one semester." It wasn't really a question, and it wasn't really at him. Hard enough to manage life and captaincy on top of each other even without getting kidnapped to space and missing deadlines.
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Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2023 11:47 pm
Kerberos shrugged. "That was me, too," he said, honestly. It was a downplaying of what he'd been like, really. Fueled by grief and hate, looking to make the whole world hurt as much as he did.
That was the way of things, with the Negaverse.
"Unfortunately, I don't think the universe cares about our schedules," he huffed. "I have work tomorrow, and I'm lucky enough that an unexplained absence will be forgiven." He wasn't about to admit to being his own boss--never knew exactly how much reach the Negaverse had, never knew how far they'd be willing to look. "I would not want to be trying to handle this without that. Did you get any food at the party? I've got a granola bar or two in subspace; it's not much, but it's something."
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Posted: Tue Jul 18, 2023 1:40 pm
"My professors didn't take I fell into a ******** rift for half a month as an excuse to let me submit things late," Larimar groused, "if I have to come up with an excuse for disappearing for a week again - " and cut zemself off there. Ze shouldn't dwell on it, ze did enough of that already. And even then - was it too personal to reveal?
And ze should've grabbed food at the party to save for later, but the threat of nausea had really been way too much of a priority to even contemplate eating, so!! That hadn't exactly happened. "No," Larimar said begrudgingly, "I didn't," and left it there.
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2023 3:58 am
"But this is ******** Destiny City," Kerberos said, and he sounded genuinely offended--because he felt genuinely offended. "Weird things happen all the time, why wouldn't that be--" He sighed, heavily. "College. So glad I never had to go." Or if he had, he didn't remember anymore.
Without a further word, he produced the granola bar and offered it over. Larimar was clearly proud; no reason to prod at zem and make this whole thing feel weirder than it was.
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Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2023 2:02 pm
It wasn't actually worth dwelling on, but Larimar had never been the bigger person and ze wasn't about to start now, so ze rolled zyr eyes. "Apparently I should have planned around the holiday situation given how long I've lived here, was her words. Whatever."
Thankfully, ze was capable of grabbing the granola bar out of his hand like a normal person instead of a total freak on the verge of a nervous breakdown, which had really been in deep internal question right up until that moment. At least one of them was prepared, loathe as ze was to admit it.
"...Thanks." God, ze hated to say it, but ze couldn't not. One moment of dropped kayfabe away from others' eyes.
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Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2023 3:41 am
"a*****e," Kerberos said, definitively. Honestly, it was stupid--s**t happened that no one could plan for, and the idea that someone sohuld "plan around" getting kidnapped to Superhell seemed absurd, to him.
Honestly, Kerberos was glad not to get more pushback on having something to eat. But at least Larimar wasn't so furious at the world that ze was willing to make objectively stupid decisions.
"No problem." Let it go easy, and don't press at wounded ego.
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Posted: Thu Aug 03, 2023 2:38 pm
Larimar nodded assertively. At least someone agreed with zem. Ze unwrapped the bar and took short, slow bites, because irregardless of how ze actually felt about eating right now it was pretty definite ze'd regret not eating later, and Sparrow had been trying to get better about that the last couple of years. It would've been preferable to be alone, but...
"You can go," ze said, but there was no heat to it. Just exhaustion, and someone who was getting frayed too thin.
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