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Dessie paced in her room, she had finally asked Xander if they could talk. She couldn’t put it off any longer. She wanted to put it off. She wanted to forget it ever happened. But neither of those things were a viable option so here she was waiting for Xander to finish up what he was doing and trying to figure out exactly what she was going to say.

“Xander, I have something I need to tell you,” she muttered to herself, rehearsing how she wanted to break the news. “No. Too up tight… Xander your legally my father-“ Dessie shook her head at the stupid turn of phrase. She paused in her nervous movements to mime opening the door and gesturing towards the bed. Dessie was trying to see if staying silent might actually work, that way she didn’t have to feel stupid for fumbling over her words. But it felt strange. Mime really wasn’t her thing.

The twenty two year old woman turned away from the rest of her room and approached the balcony doors. Quite a few times she had slipped out of the house and escaped her own memories or intrusive thoughts via patrolling. She couldn’t do that right now. She couldn’t run away from Xander or herself this time. With a sigh, the blonde lightly rested her forehead against the cool glass. “How do I tell him that I’m pregnant?”

Dessie froze at the voice. She flushed at being caught unaware but any color in her face rapidly disappeared when she realized that he likely overheard her last statement. Taking a deep, bracing breath, Dessie turned to face her adoptive dad, a wobbly smile on her face. “Yeah sorry about that I was…” her horrid excuse faded away as she gave up the whole ‘in control’ vibe she was doing her best to keep. What was the point? Xander knew her, and if he had heard her then there really was no point at all. “I just,” Dessie shrugged, absently running a hand through her hair. It was much longer than it was when they had first met but it was still not much longer than around her shoulders. She looked like the woman she was, not the waif she once was. The scared and scarred child had grown up into a much more stable and confident adult… except for right then.

Right then she was worried out of her mind. Mostly because she was stuck in her mind. Logically she knew Xander wouldn’t care. Hell, he might even be excited. But the brain didn’t always answer to logic. That's what she was fighting with right then.

Dessie stopped and seemed to be counting silently. Once she was ready she moved rapidly. Striding over towards her desk she pulled open the draw and palmed something. A few more steps placed her in front of Xander where she handed over the little box that had the plastic stick in it before backing off to sit on the edge of her bed. Her movements had been a little stiff but there really was no putting it off. No more practice. No more second guessing herself. She wanted to move. She wanted to fight. She wanted to run. None were a viable option so instead Dessie just dug her hands into the sheets and waited to see what her father would say.

Waited for the verdict.

She seemed to just deflate a little when Xander came to sit next to her. The tension that kept her sitting upright just faded away and Dessie hunched over a bit, her hands letting go of the sheets only to wrap around her abdomen protectively. “I don’t… Neither… both… I don’t know,” She shook her head and muttered her response. It wasn’t a very good response.

“I just…” She swallowed back the lump that was growing in her throat even as she felt tears start to well in her eyes. “Dad. I’m scared.” There. It was said. It was out there in the universe. And it was like a damn burst.

There were likely a handful of times when Dessie initiated any form of physical contact, outside of training that was, but this time it just came naturally for her. She just leaned over some and rested her head against Xander as her eyes welled with tears, making it hard for her to make out the rest of the room. “Dad, I’m scared. I don’t know how this happened. It was just one night and we used protection! It shouldn’t have happened. It couldn’t have happened… what do I do?” This last part was said quietly, weakly. She honestly had no idea what her next steps were. How was she going to raise a kid?

Dessie just sniffled a little and nodded. No matter how many tests she took, and she was on like her fourth at this point, they wouldn’t actually help any with making sure the baby was actually healthy. The baby. God, it felt weird to just acknowledge that she was carrying the makings of another human in her. She would get round and huge like, well pretty much every adult female in the Jacobs family considering the boom of children running around. Her kid would be running around just like them. Getting into trouble and causing issues. “What if… they turn out like him?” Her watery question carried malice on the word ‘him’. She never wanted kids just for the fear of either turning out like the b*****d of her bio dad or the kids turning out like him. Children were never something she was planning on but it seemed the universe was laughing right in her face.

“Not any more,” Dessie shook her head when Xander asked if her… friend?... was in England. That was another relationship that she had no idea how to handle. They were friends. Were they more now? “He should be in Japan now. He got his dream job and we were celebrating graduation and the job and moving back to the states and well…” She trailed off with a shrug. That night months ago had been fun, an eye opener to say the least, but it was only meant to be a goodbye. They both knew that the likelihood of them ever seeing each other was slim to none. Thats why… thats how…

Even in her own head Dessie didn’t want to dwell on it. She shifted her hands enough to place one on her belly. A baby. There was a baby there. “Dad, what do I do? I have no idea,” She was going to be a mother.

She absently chewed on her lower lip and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, she logically knew that as long as the child was loved and raised right they would never turn out like the b*****d who had died so ingloriously in that alley years ago. But it still lurked in the back of her mind. She still remembered the way she lost control, herself. How she almost killed him herself. This child, her child, should never have to go through that. They should never have to worry about anything like that. She wouldn’t let it ever come to that. Her child would be protected. Her baby would be loved.

Her baby… god… just the thought felt strange. There was a child growing in her as they spoke.

“No,” Dessie shook her head. “But I think Pat suspects. I think he saw the box when I bought the first one. He didn’t say anything at the time but he was more…. Pat-ish,” She absently waved her hand around as if that described the texts she got following her little fainting spell from the heat a little bit ago. It was mostly just checking on her, making sure she got back to the condo alright or the like, especially in the heat. As likely as it was that her cousin was checking on the entire family Dessie suspected that that wasn’t it completely.

With a sigh the young woman just flopped back on the bed, her hands still on her belly. “I think I’ve been a Jacobs too long… even the unexpected pregnancies are rubbing off on me.” She smiled, it was a little weak and wobbly but then again she had just spent the last several days psyching herself up to talk to Xander and yet their conversation was rather anticlimactic. Dessie turned her head to the side so she was looking at him and with one hand she reached out, slipping her hand into his, “I love you. You and this whole batty family. Meeting you all was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

The twins asking to play made Dessie laugh as well and like Xander, she too got up. “They probably tired him out, they are quite the handful.” That thought made her pause and make a silent plea to whoever was running the s**t show that was the world, please not twins. I can’t handle twins by myself! She didn’t get a chance to make any further pleas before she ended up with one toddler on each hand tugging her down the hallway.

“Ai’s doctor should be fine. I guess that I might as well get it over with, it really won't get any easier the longer I wait anyway.” She told Xander right before getting pulled into the twin’s room where they were all going to play. Play what you ask? She had no clue but as long as they didn’t go nuts Dessie was cool with it.

Soon the boys would have a new playmate. An aunt or an uncle…. That thought alone made her giggle and easily made her realize that Xander would be a grandfather, her grandparents would be great-grandparents… Dear god.

Her laughter bubbled out of the room, the kids joining in without really knowing why.

Things wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Grandpa Xander, Great-Aunt Lily and Rose, and their spouses wouldn’t let it. No, the Jacobs definitely wouldn’t let anything bad happen at all.

There really was no place like home.