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 Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2022 7:39 pm
Michael thought he’d been very well behaved and didn’t harass Soleiyu too much about the possibilities of going back to Sessrumnir sooner than he knew he had the energy for. It was frustrating. He knew that Chris could go to Valhalla more frequently than he could go to his Wonder. And Paris could go to her World whenever she wanted.
It was night when they first arrived there, and it was night when Sessrumnir appeared again, exactly where he appeared the first time in the Springs. Knowing Devyn, he would have likely kept Atticus as close to the Springs as possible, if only to make sure he healed as much as he could in the time they had there.
Which meant the first place he wanted to check was the office where he helped set up places for Atticus and Devyn to sleep.
Maybe he should have sent a message to give Devyn a heads up, but instead he decided to show up with no warning. The last message he sent was about what he had for dinner -- he’d ordered some pizza, knowing there would be leftovers for when Devyn and Atticus got there. Although maybe it wasn’t the healthiest option. He just hadn’t been able to focus enough to cook in the past week.
Or sleep very well in the past week.
He’d been worried about Devyn though. He felt the changes in the necklace frequently, but always seemed to get a text about fifteen minutes later.
At some point, he started getting ‘Miss you’s with Devyn’s promises that he was okay. Michael wasn’t able to stop himself from smiling and messaged back that he missed Devyn too.
Because he did.
He hadn’t been able to sleep. Didn’t feel like eating. Didn’t really want to socialize. He’d felt like this before of course, but he didn’t think he would get depressed just because Devyn was gone.
Temporarily.
He walked softly, grateful that the sound of the Spring water muffled footsteps. He cracked the door open only a little. If they were both sleeping, he would just rest, himself. Maybe take a swim, or head up to the atrium to let Princess run around.
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2022 8:55 pm
Most of the lights in the office were dimmed to make sure Atticus could get some good sleep; they’d had a long day and Devyn wanted to make sure he had enough time to actually rest up. He knew they weren’t going to be here for much longer–maybe. He hoped not.
It wasn’t that he didn’t love Sessrumnir, it was just that he wanted Atticus to be able to visit Elliot. And also, he wanted to see Michael. But–that was easy to do, even up here. All Michael had to do was take a trip.
…Devyn had tried to be good. He’d worked very hard not to just outright say that Michael was Sessrumnir, but he knew that Atticus was clever.
He must have suspected.
They’d had a good dinner, despite the oddity of everything just sort of thrown together. Atticus was tucked in and sleeping; Devyn had told him a bedtime story–all of it, even if he was certain that Atticus had fallen asleep halfway through.
He hadn’t left the office this time. He’d told himself he was going to try and sleep.
He hadn’t, he’d just read over an old book. Or, really, looked at it. Traced the letters with his eyes. He didn’t glean any knowledge from it, so it was something to pass the time.
And then, there was a ghost in the door.
He wasn’t powered, he hadn’t felt anything or anyone, and it had been so quiet. The ghosts couldn’t wait for him to leave, so they’d come to visit him here?
Or–
His face was hot and his heart was pounding, and it seemed like his brain was the last thing to catch up because the rest of him knew that was Michael. Well, Sessrumnir.
Atticus was sleeping, it didn’t matter.
He was silent as he set the book down and leapt up from the seat. He moved across the room and hugged Sessrumnir tightly, quickly. He broke it only a few seconds after he initiated it and took Sessrumnir’s arm so he could lead him out of the room and to better lighting.
Devyn placed one hand on each of Sessrumnir’s shoulders and gave him a quick look over, because he needed to make sure he was eating, sleeping, that he hadn’t been stabbed.
Sessrumnir looked tired, like maybe he hadn’t been taking the best care of himself. But, he was here! And Devyn couldn’t really say anything; he was lucky he’d brought some makeup with him. He hadn’t been shy about applying it around Atticus and he wasn’t shy about it now.
He was satisfied that Michael was at least in one piece, that he was at least here, so he leaned closer and gave him a tight, proper hug.
“It’s late, isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be in bed? –Tell me everything, how are you doing?”
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2022 9:15 pm
Sessrumnir felt guilty. He didn’t have the necklace to rely on, but he could see the expression on Devyn’s face when he jumped up. He smiled and almost laughed in soft exasperation when Devyn hugged him, but was silent until he’d been led back out of the room and looked over and asked how he was doing.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to wait,” he confessed as he hugged Devyn back. His heart felt like it was trying to escape his chest, and he didn’t want to let Devyn go. It had only been a week, but it felt so long.
Probably because he spent much less time actually sleeping.
“And I couldn’t sleep, anyway,” he added, and he suspected that Devyn was having trouble as well.
“I’m okay,” he promised, still not letting go. He rubbed at Devyn’s back, since the tightness of his hug seemed to indicate that Devyn had really missed him, too. “I’ve been doing my best to sleep and eat when I can. Ah, I might have gotten a little lazy with it. How are you? How’s Atticus?” he asked. It was easier to talk about anything but himself.
Still, there was a physical relief that settled over him now that Devyn was with him again. Was it fair for him to feel that way? Probably not.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 7:18 am
“Atticus is fine,” he assured, and took a very good moment before he finally again pried himself from Michael. He could have stayed there, comfortable in the embrace, but he didn’t trust that all those sleepless nights were going to finally catch up with him. He hadn’t waited this long to see Michael again just to fall asleep on him.
The hand on his back felt better than he wanted to admit, and it was so easy to relax against him. Especially when he was being so honest. Devyn didn’t even have to badger him for the truth, not when he was confessing that he’d gotten lazy with sleeping and eating.
“I’ve been getting lazy, too. The food’s easy, I’ve got Atticus to remind me. We’ve been eating together, I haven’t missed a meal. Napped some, but,” he shook his head like that was enough of an explanation. “I’m glad you didn’t wait. Obviously, you’re welcome here. I could have made dinner if I’d known you were coming. Do you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? I’ve had four today. I knew you’d be coming soon so I sort of stopped rationing.”
And, when he wasn’t sleeping, he had to make up for that energy somehow.
Even when he’d drawn away from the hug, he stayed close and looked Sessrumnir over again.
“You look good. Tired, but I imagine you’ve been busy. How are things back home?”
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:56 am
“Yeah,” Sessrumnir said knowingly in response to Devyn’s cut off explanation and head shake. While he wished they both would have slept better, it wasn’t surprising to hear that Devyn had trouble. Michael could tell when Devyn was awake when the necklace hadn’t settled into a slow, steady pulse.
“I’m okay. I ordered pizza so there would be leftovers when we get home.” Not that he didn’t appreciate Devyn’s skills with sandwich making, but he wanted to spend some more time talking to him instead of eating.
He hadn’t meant to lift his hand and brush some of Devyn’s longer bangs from his face, but when he realized what he was doing, he took an awkward step back and crossed his arms over his chest to effectively keep his hands to himself.
“It’s been a mess back home. I know I mentioned Jeremy stopping by, so he’s helping to make sure Atticus stays hidden. And I know Soleiyu is working on a disguise but…”
Sessrumnir let out a tired breath. He trusted Soleiyu, of course. But there was only so much a disguise could do. It wouldn’t fully protect Atticus, especially if Atticus himself was somehow cornered and interrogated. He had a feeling that the kid caved easily to pressure. Especially when it was unfair, cruel pressure.
“Oh, I didn’t mention this over messages since it would take too much time, but I guess Jeremy already knew Soleiyu because his brother is one of us,” Sessrumnir shared with a little shrug because clearly Jeremy should just trust them. “We might be asked to help him out later. Seems like he’s having a rough time. I don’t blame either of them. It’s not really safe for anyone. The Reids are fine. Worried. Elliot knows a little more about what’s going on than his parents, but not about… this,” he paused and gestured to the space around them.
“But you look like you could use a good night’s sleep,” he added after a moment, because he was worried about all the times the necklace seemed to indicate that Devyn was in distress. Sessrumnir watched him carefully, not wanting to force him to talk about anything, but hoped Devyn knew he could talk if he wanted.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 9:10 am
“I need it,” Devyn admitted. “I don’t know how I did this before. Can’t believe I thought I was handling things well before.”
Except, it wasn’t just the sleeplessness, it was–well, everything. Things he knew, things he didn’t know. Things he accepted and things he was still ignoring. It was complicated, but he couldn't even focus on that when he was already starting to feel better.
All it had taken was having Michael here again.
Michael had stepped back, and Devyn had to stop himself from stepping forward. This was fine, they were a perfectly normal distance apart.
“I didn’t tell him that you were Sessrumnir. He’s smart, he might figure it out if we’re not careful. He wore himself out, we did a lot of walking today. He’s healing up well, but I know he’ll be happy to head back.” Michael had said there would be leftovers when they got home, so he could only assume that meant they were going back soon.
“I’m glad Jeremy’s involved. That makes this a little less complicated.” Maybe? He must have had some legal sway or something. Or he could give them a heads up, maybe, if they needed to get out of there. He wasn’t surprised to hear that Jeremy’s brother was ‘one of us’, but he also didn’t really care. That was something he’d ask more about later. Right now, he just cared about Michael and Atticus. And the Reids, because he knew how much Atticus had been pining, and he knew how important they were to Michael.
“It’s good to hear your voice.” No, he was getting distracted again. He’d just thought a lot in this past week about how comfortable he’d gotten to life with Michael. Going a few hours without him? That was fine. He could do that. Half an hour between basic text messages? Not so much. Wondering if he was on Earth getting into trouble, or if he was dealing with all of this alone? Didn’t like that.
“Has Soleiyu finished making the disguise? I’m surprised he’s not here.” But happy that he wasn’t, honestly. The disguise might have been nice, but he appreciated a moment with Michael before they jumped back into everything on Earth.
Juggling everything didn’t sound daunting, just busy.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 9:16 am
“He’s already been pulled into this more than I would have liked,” Sessrumnir admitted, glancing towards the room where Atticus was sleeping. “But it would probably do him a disservice if we didn’t tell him. Especially if you think he’ll figure it out himself.”
Did he like that his identity kept being exposed? No, but at this point he wondered if it was necessary to continue to protect as many people as he could. And now that Alastor had his powers back, he knew it was only a matter of time before they were able to try and get rid of the Chaos on his world.
“Thank you,” he said after a moment, looking back at Devyn. “For not telling him. I know you’ve been as careful as possible. I hope you know how much I appreciate it. It’s good to hear your voice too, Dev.”
He tried not to smile, but he couldn’t quite help it. After being so incredibly stressed that he couldn’t sleep and didn’t feel like eating, he felt much more relaxed now that he was with Devyn again.
But was that fair to put that kind of pressure on Devyn?
Probably not, so he would just keep that to himself.
“I asked if he wanted to come,” Sessrumnir said with a shrug, but didn’t go into details about Soleiyu’s response, or the expression he gave him. He wasn’t entirely sure what that expression was, but… he just figured he was busy. “No, he’s waiting for us back home, so he can keep the aura block on the house. I didn’t want to risk carrying Atticus around for someone to notice.”
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 9:41 am
Devyn relaxed again when Michael said it would be a disservice not to tell him, because he was worried that he’d put Michael in an uncomfortable situation if he let too much slip, or if Atticus asked him again. Of course, he brightened when Michael said he liked to hear his voice, and stayed in a good mood when he was reassured that Soleiyu was back at the house and would be ready for them.
Probably for the best that Michael wasn't worried about Atticus knowing his identity if he was going to take them back to Michael’s place.
“I hope you won’t mind if I sleep in your room tonight. I’m exhausted,” he admitted, because it was easy to be honest with Michael. He’d promised he would be. “What do you want to do with Atticus?”
Because, he knew what he wanted to do, but he respected Michael too much to start pushing his thoughts or wants on him–especially because it had already been a long day. Long week, too. He’d gotten the better end of the deal, just looking after Atticus; he knew how chaotic things must have been on Earth–especially while juggling keeping everyone happy and comforted without being able to say too much.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 9:49 am
“Depends on what you mean,” Sessrumnir sighed as he continued to look towards the room when asked what to do about Atticus. He wasn’t upset with Devyn, or annoyed by anything he said, just tired.
“Do you mean tonight, or in the long term? Tonight, we can get him set up in the office. Hopefully he’ll be able to rest and recover and not have to worry about anything. So that makes things easier for me. I would have had to put him in Peter’s room if you’d insisted on sleeping on your own.”
Really, he was relieved that Devyn planned on staying in his room. It saved him from having to ask himself. He was already looking forward to a good night’s sleep.
“Long term… the Reids said before that they would adopt Atticus, but it’s not safe. Atticus knows too much for a normal kid. And he’s already had the Negaverse after him. If they found him at the Reids… I don’t want to think about what would happen.”
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 10:31 am
Devyn nodded along, careful not to miss any little expression on Michael’s face as he spoke. He trusted Michael, but he also trusted that he’d push himself out of his comfort zone because he thought it was what someone else wanted.
“No, that’s a good point,” he agreed. “But if Soleiyu can make a convincing disguise…”
The thought trailed off, because how were they going to explain some random kid just suddenly showing up with no history? It was less obvious if Atticus stayed with them, anyway.
“I know they’re important to you, I don’t want them to be at risk. I don’t know how serious the Negaverse is about going after them–so far as they know, he’s out of the picture anyway, right?”
They couldn’t be too careful, but still.
“I’m sure he’d be happy to have the office tonight. Especially with that night light. He’s been sleeping okay, but I don’t want him to wake up afraid because he’s somewhere different again. Is Peter not planning on coming back?” he asked, and there was a brief moment where he realized that if he wasn’t, he didn’t want Michael to have another negative thought to weigh him down.
“I haven’t seen him yet, I miss our conversations.” Not as much as he’d missed his conversations with Michael, though. “Atticus is a good kid, though. He doesn’t want to take up much space. He said he’ll stay in a closet and be quiet. I told him he wouldn’t have to, I said we’d work something out. But we should talk about that, because I don’t want to put any pressure on you to do something you’re not comfortable with. I know a kid’s a responsibility, if it’s temporary, or permanent. I want him to be safe. I want the Reids to be safe. I want to look after him. But I want to stay with you. I didn’t like this,” he said, and exhaled. He planted his hands on his hips and looked around the room, like there was somewhere–anywhere–for him to settle his gaze while he said it.
There wasn’t. He looked back at Michael.
“You know I love Sessrumnir. I’d do anything for this place. We cleaned it up some. But I didn’t like being away from you. I know we had to, and I’m glad Atticus has been safe and able to heal up here. But I promised you I’d be honest with you, and I just feel better when you’re around. So, I hope we can figure something out, because I want to make sure Atticus is being taken care of, but I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not comfortable with. And I’m feeling very selfish because I don’t want to give you up, either. So, tell me where you’re at with all of this, and what we need to do. What do you need out of all of this, what’s best for you?”
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 10:44 am
Sessrumnir watched Devyn, listened to him as he spoke. Processed his questions, and tried not to stare at Devyn too much.
He was doing that… hands on his hips thing again, and Sessrumnir didn’t know why but it was, for lack of a better word, always really cute when he stood like that. He almost rolled his eyes at himself, but instead could feel color rise in his cheeks and he finally had to look away because the urge to… hug him again, or something was strong.
“Thank you for cleaning up. You didn’t have to. But I guess you were probably pretty bored waiting for me to come back. Sorry about that. I wish we had been better prepared for everything,” he sighed.
“I don’t know what’s going on with Peter. Last I heard he’s been crashing at his friend’s place. It’s not like he doesn’t have his own car and money to get what he needs. I guess everything that’s happened has hit him pretty hard. Or maybe he thinks he’s imposing by being at the house, I don’t know.”
Peter was an adult. Had been, if Michael reminded himself that his baby brother was definitely not a baby any more. He missed Peter too, but he wasn’t sure if it would be selfish of him to ask him to stay with them, or if Devyn would feel crowded, and would just agree to it because he felt obligated.
“The Reids adopting him… or even just taking care of him would be too suspicious. They are well known educators and would have told someone that they were looking at adopting, or would have to come up with some story for Atticus to be with them. My family has already adopted a few that were saved from the Negaverse. You met a couple of them already. Adding more to the family will probably make it even more suspicious,” he said, hoping that what he was saying made more sense than just inside his own head.
“And people know my family, or would know me from school, so that could be dangerous as well. But you’re not from Destiny City. Your history is practically unknown to everyone. No one would know if you already had a kid that you were bringing to stay with you.”
He paused, not sure if he was making any sense, so he drew in a breath and let it out slowly to settle himself. He didn’t want to say anything to make Devyn uncomfortable. And if he agreed, it would be a matter of getting Atticus to agree.
“Soleiyu can get the necessary paperwork, but… if Atticus was your son… I think it would be easier to pass off. And easier to keep you both safe.”
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 11:00 am
Bored? A little. Passionate about restoring Sessrumnir? Mostly. Michael didn’t have to apologize, and Devyn’s expression probably said as much about it. There wasn’t any way to prepare for things this unexpected–they’d had food, supplies. He and Atticus had a good time, for the most part.
He nodded along while Michael spoke–for Peter, for things being suspicious for the Reids, suspicious for Michael. His history was unknown, so he nodded when he agreed with Michael and–
Oh, he was still nodding.
Wait, what was Michael saying?
–No, that made sense.
But–
Well, no. Well–yeah, but.
“Maybe it would help me fit in better,” he said after a few seconds, when the nodding finally stopped. “How many Senshi come from outer space with a son?”
Except, there was something like a lump in his throat, and his stomach was doing something strange. He wasn’t nervous, but he couldn't quite place the emotion. He wasn’t unhappy, it wasn’t like it was a negative thing.
“If Atticus is my son, you don’t have a problem with the both of us staying? That’s something we can work out? –I’d move out if it would be better for you, but I don’t think it would be better for me so I don’t want to. I know it’s your house, I know it’s your choice. If you wanted me to leave I–”
…
“Well, I’d probably protest quite a bit and try to change your mind. I really don’t want to be away from you. I haven’t felt peace in so long and I don’t think I’ll find it if I’m not with you.”
He’d promised to be honest. He was trying. The words sort of just tumbled out and he wasn’t really sure how to say what he felt because everything was really just jumbled up and his heart was doing that thing again, and his stomach was twisting again, more now, and–
Maybe he was nervous? He felt jittery, like he needed to run around and burn off some energy, but he couldn’t bring himself to move; he’d been away from Michael for so long that he was perfectly fine staying right here until all of that wore off.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 11:09 am
As Devyn spoke and voiced his concerns, Sessrumnir’s expression eased into something softer. He wasn’t wearing the necklace, since it was with his civilian self, but he knew Devyn was feeling distressed.
If he was still worried about something like that--
How long had he been worrying? Did he really think that was going to be possible for Michael to accept? Especially now?
His heart ached-- was it his starseed? Or his own feelings? He could never tell. For Devyn to be so worried that he would be asked to leave, and for Devyn to constantly worry about what was best for Michael. It was…
‘Sweet’ wasn’t the right word. It wasn’t ‘sweet’ that Devyn had such anxiety about staying, about making sure it was Michael’s choice. About how he was worried that he wouldn’t find peace without him.
Sessrumnir felt his heart throb again. He’d uncrossed his arms and reached out with a hand to brush the hair away from Devyn’s face once more, but this time he let his palm settle on his cheek as he looked him in the eye.
He wanted Devyn to know, without a doubt, that he was being sincere.
“I would never want you to leave. You’re part of my life now.” He was always supposed to be, wasn’t he? If what Devyn said was true, about how he wanted to find whoever Percy had been reborn into.
And then, because he didn’t think he quite got what he wanted to say across, he added with words broken by emotion, “I need you, Dev.”
Because he didn’t think he would feel at peace without him, either.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 11:44 am
It was funny, how Devyn wasn’t sure what his heart or his stomach was doing, because he recognized how relieved he was with the gesture, and he leaned into it, but his heart was still pounding and his stomach was still twisting, and–
No, it was just relief. Once he accepted that, he calmed, quickly. Maybe all Knights of Sessrumnir had healing hands.
Whatever weight Devyn had been carrying, it seemed to evaporate. His shoulders relaxed a bit and when he breathed, it filled his chest. He felt rejuvenated, looked rejuvenated.
Looked like he was at peace.
Michael didn’t want him to leave. Maybe he’d thought it, hoped it, but hearing it was grounding. It was what he needed.
Almost as much as he needed Michael.
The emotion in Michael’s voice did something to Devyn, and he felt the immediate need to reassure him. He reached his hand up to rest over Michael’s and looked into his eyes again.
“Then, I’m not leaving. You’re a part of my life, a big part, and I need you, too. I was worried I might be overstaying my welcome, or asking for too much, but it’s a relief to hear you say all that. Thank you.”
He wasn’t used to hearing Michael with so much emotion in his voice, so naturally he was worried–worried more that something else had happened while he was up here, worried that he’d miss Michael going through something else while he was gone and not there to help. It was all the more reason to stay close, all the more reason to keep his hand atop Michael’s.
“As long as you want me to stay, nothing will take me from you. I don’t want to go anywhere else.”
He had his world to take care of, but that was different. It was an extension of himself, just as Sessrumnir was an extension of Michael. And, Michael had already promised that he’d help Devyn with Alastor, so it wasn’t like there was a decision to be made there about choosing one or the other. It was something they’d tend to in the future, but something that Devyn knew they would handle, together.
So, as long as Michael was around, he felt like he was where he was supposed to be.
Even if he wasn’t on Alastor, being around Michael still felt right.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 4:44 pm
He wasn’t Percy. Michael knew that. And maybe there was a part of him that worried about taking advantage of Devyn in that regard. Knowing he had Percy’s reborn starseed. Knowing that Devyn had been wanting to find him because he had Percy’s starseed.
Maybe he knew Devyn’s feelings of peace and comfort were that he was with Percy’s starseed. Maybe he was okay with that, because if that meant Devyn stayed with him, maybe he wouldn’t feel as lonely.
But was that even fair to devyn? Probably not.
And yet, Michael’s heart felt like it was going to break at the thought of Devyn leaving, or something happening to him.
Heart… starseed… Maybe it was just his starseed. Maybe what he was feeling wasn’t even real. He’d fallen before, in spite of his attempt to keep his distance. He pushed people away when he got too close to them, and in the two instances in which he let them get closer, his heart was broken anyway, in one way or another.
He knew it was his fault. He knew it was only a matter of time before Devyn would realize what kind of person he was. Maybe they would start arguing about things. Maybe he would have a relapse and Devyn wouldn’t understand, much less know how to help him. Maybe he would just find someone else to be with. Or worse, maybe he would get hurt and die.
Michael wasn’t sure when he’d stepped closer, but he’d closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Devyn’s. His hand was still on his cheek, his other hand had reached up to settle on the outside of Devyn’s shoulder, as if a subconscious yet desperate attempt to keep him from running.
He knew he shouldn’t get close. He knew they should just be friends.
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. So he just stood there, listening to the sound of water from the Springs, and low rumble of thunder, and his heart that beat so loudly he was certain it was causing an echo.
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