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 Posted: Thu May 19, 2022 9:26 pm
Elliot had enjoyed studying with Chad; he’d held him close and shared the blanket the entire time he’d read the lessons from the past few days, and paused to make sure that Chad understood the concepts. He was content to take breaks when he suspected that they needed one, and it took almost the whole hour to make it through everything and finish up their homework. He’d been supportive the whole time, and readily accepted the snacks Chad fed him while he narrated the lesson.
They’d finished all the snacks, so after Elliot had cleaned up, they moved the clothes from the washer into the dryer and then enthusiastically returned to his room.
“Okay, so I have some watercolor paper,” he began, pulling that out of his box. “Some sketch pencils. Some paintbrushes.” They weren’t the best quality, but they were all put together and only lightly used. A watercolor tray–used, and a small set of acrylic tubes. He squeezed them a little to make sure they hadn’t hardened and was happy to add them to the pile. An opened, slightly used pound of Sculpey clay that was sealed in a ziploc bag. A few erasers, a few colored pencils. A few canvas boards.
He was sitting on the floor, eagerly sorting through things and looked up at Chad. “Is this anything you can use?”
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 5:38 am
The best part about studying with Elliot wasn’t the way he was so patient and understanding and smart, nor was it his voice (although that was definitely a positive). No, it was the way he held Chad as they shared a blanket.
For a little while, Chad was worried that he would be too distracted by how warm Elliot was, but after a while got used to his steady heartbeat, and the hum of Elliot’s voice. It was difficult not to just tip his head onto Elliot’s shoulder and doze off, but Chad was determined to learn as much as he could. He asked questions when something was confusing, and put little sticky notes in the book to refer back to if he needed to.
But since his laundry was ready to go into the dryer, and their snacks were done, Chad was just as excited to see what art supplies Elliot had.
“Oh, yes, all of these are great!” he gasped in excitement, sitting on the ground with his legs underneath him as he gently sorted through everything Elliot set down. He didn’t care if they had been used. He could definitely make use of all of it.
“I’m afraid of any of this being taken away, if I brought it home,” he frowned, chewing on his lip. “I’ll definitely have to leave it here, if that’s okay?”
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 7:16 am
“Yeah, of course. I’ll make a little corner here for you, I’ll clean out my drawers.”
In the corner of the room, next to them, he had metal shelving that held three black bins. He leaned over to open one and fished around, pulling out a few papers from one bin. He returned them and went to the second bin, this one with some old toys in it. He shrugged and turned back to Chad. “I’ll clean these out, you could use them for whatever you want. And I’ll make some space in my closet if you want to leave some clothes here, too.”
He couldn’t help but smile at the way Chad had seemed so excited, and he hoped that his smile would ease some of Chad’s worrying.
“Is there anything else we should get? I have some allowance saved up. If I asked, I think I might be able to go this weekend. You could come, too. If my dad can drive us. If you want! I’m not going to force you to spend time with me or anything,” he laughed. “I’ve got a game this weekend, but otherwise I’m free. And my–Oliver–likes craft stores. So I know he’d like to go at some point if we asked.”
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 7:35 am
Chad squirmed a little, because he was worrying about making things too much of a hassle for Elliot. It was extremely sweet that Elliot was making room for his stuff in his room. It made his heart race--
But Elliot’s smile made it race in a different way. He was just so sweet, how could he not want to spend time with him??
“I do!” he gasped, and then flushed at how quickly he’d tried to counter Elliot’s suggestion that he was forcing him to spend time with-- Of course Chad wanted to spend time with him!! He was worried about it being the opposite!
“If… if that’s okay. I would like to spend time with you. I would like to see your game, too. Oh, I mean, if that’s okay. I can try to get there myself! I’m not… I mean… I’m not trying to just… invite myself along,” he rambled anxiously.
He definitely didn’t want Elliot’s dads to feel obligated to drive him places…
Oh… and he was worried about it getting back to his dad that he was hanging out with Elliot and his family.
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 7:49 am
Brief surprise flickered across his face but he was quick to smile again. “I’d like for you to come to my game. You’re definitely invited, and maybe we can hang out afterwards? Unless you’re busy! But I always like when it’s at the park close to home, they have the best vendors. We can get hot dogs. Oh, if you like. They’re just my favorite. I always play hard so I can work up a good appetite and eat a few.”
Something he was visibly proud of, obviously.
“If you’re not comfortable around my parents we could take the bus. Or ride bikes. Or walk, even. I don’t mind. We could make a day out of it instead. There’s a little craft store–well, it’s a few blocks away. I’ve never gone by myself. But it’s the one across from McDonald’s. That’s a cheap lunch. We could go watch the ducks by the river. Oh, sorry. This is all sorts of planning. But I’d have fun if we went to go do something. My schedule’s flexible around the game, though. Ah, sorry. I’m just excited. I want to make sure you have everything you need. “
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 7:58 am
Oh… Elliot was so cute when he was excited. He had the sweetest smile and nicest voice and--
Chad’s initial smile faltered a little, and he shifted nervously where he sat on the ground. Elliot was so kind to him, and yet Chad hadn’t been as honest as he could have been. In fact, he was pretty sure he lied about a few things right away.
“I’m never busy,” he said quietly, although there was nothing special about that. It was just a fact. “I try to stay away from my house as often as I can.”
It was safer, anyway. At least for him.
“El, I… um…”
He felt guilty. But he knew he should say something so he didn’t have to pretend like he didn’t know anything.
“I’ve… kind of… been going to your games. A-and your track meets… and debate club…” he cringed, shrinking down a little with his confession. He kept his eyes lowered on his hands in his lap as he tugged on his borrowed pants.
“I’m sorry I misled you, but… I panicked, I think. I thought you might think it was really weird that I went to your games when we didn’t even know each other. I-- I meant to say hello! Or… I don’t know, I could never work up the courage.”
He tried to keep his breaths even, to blink away the heat in his eyes because he was not going to start crying again. Especially when he was being the weird one. Was it considered stalking?? Oh no… if Elliot thought that, Chad wouldn’t know what to do. Probably politely excuse himself and never talk to him again.
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 8:10 am
Though Elliot paused, he didn’t for very long. Chad seemed uncomfortable and he was worried that if he let a silence develop he’d expect the worst. “What’s so misleading about that?” he asked. He adjusted positions just a bit so he could rest his elbows on his knees and hunch over a little bit. “None of that sounds weird. Actually, it sounds like you have good taste. I do all of those things, so I don’t see anything wrong with being interested in them.”
It sounded like he had to do a lot to keep himself busy. He didn’t blame Chad for wanting to get out of his house; it sounded like his father was a jerk.
“Oh. Wait.”
No, things were clicking together again.
“Oh.”
A second pause, two.
He didn’t let it reach three.
“That’s okay, there’s a lot of people there, and it’s really busy. I don’t blame you. We got to say hello, it just took a little time.” And a little privacy. He smiled again. “You really went through all that effort for a chance to say hi? That’s really nice. I’m glad it worked out so we got to start talking. Of all of them–track, and baseball, and debate–which one’s your favorite?”
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 8:26 am
That… that was it? The thing that had been eating away at him every time he wondered when Elliot would find out that he did go to his games and other competitions… was just for Elliot to ask him which one was his favorite??
The tension in Chad’s shoulders didn’t exactly fade, but there was a different kind of anxiety now. Elliot seemed okay with it now, but… what about when he started thinking about it?
“Probably baseball,” he mumbled awkwardly. And then, because he was keeping enough things from Elliot, he added, “But only because there’s food around. Otherwise it’s your debates. I like that you get really passionate about things. I mean you’re really passionate about baseball and track too, but…”
He felt flustered, especially with how Elliot smiled so warmly at him. Chad decided to keep the secret that he had a crush on him… at least for now. He’d cried enough that day already.
“You really don’t mind that… I mean… I pretended like I didn’t know you played baseball. Oh, but I really didn’t know where you lived, so I promise I’m not, like… really trying to, um…”
He deflated. Elliot was trying so hard to reassure him, but Elliot was also a sweetheart and kind of adorably optimistic.
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 8:31 am
“You’re shy,” Elliot justified easily. “I’m not going to hold that against you. I also like baseball because there’s food around. We don’t have that at track. Debates are my favorite, if we take food out of the equation. But,” he shrugged, because the more time he spent with Chad the more he came to understand that he was just nervous, and afraid of being unwanted or unliked.
He was a little mad that it had taken so long to realize that Chad needed a friend, but he kept telling himself they could make up for it now. And he liked being around Chad. Or maybe he liked helping. Or he liked both.
“It’s okay,” he said again “You don’t have to keep secrets or anything from me, though. I like you how you are, you don’t have anything to hide. It, um–it just sounds like you need a friend? Which–I want to be, so. That works out. I’m sorry it took so long, though. But I don’t blame you or anything. I know I’m loud, and always moving, and there are always people around. But I’m glad you’ve been coming to all of my events! That’s really sweet. Do you cheer for me when I’m doing well?” he asked, but he seemed like he might have just been teasing a little.
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 9:17 am
Elliot said he didn’t have to keep secrets or anything from him. That he liked how he was and didn’t have anything to hide. But didn’t he? Wasn’t that what his father had been doing his whole life? Trying to hide him from everyone else? Wanting to make sure he was so undesirable to be around that he wouldn’t make any friends?
Chad knew it was more than that. Worse than just not having friends. His father hated him. Had said so. And if others weren’t going to ask questions and risk his father’s job, Chad wasn’t sure he would still even be there.
He felt his face darken when Elliot asked about him cheering, but he nodded a little in response. Of course he cheered. Maybe not as loudly or enthusiastically as others, because he didn’t want to be noticed, but he was proud of Elliot for his accomplishments. Proud of being able to see him grow as an individual, even though it was always from the shadows.
It wasn’t Elliot’s fault that it took so long for them to actually talk. Every time Elliot might have started heading in Chad’s direction, he made sure to hide.
And wasn’t that what he was doing now? Even though he told Elliot that he’d been to his games and meets and debates, he was still hiding...
“I like you!” Chad blurted out after squeezing his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to see Elliot’s reaction. “Not just as a friend but-- like you, like you. Ever since you saved me, I’ve liked you. I know that’s wrong-- or. No. I was told it was wrong. That I’m not supposed to because-- I mean, you’re a boy too. But you have two dads so-- N-not that that means anything but, maybe you wouldn’t hate me or think it’s wrong because--”
He had no idea what he was saying any more. But Elliot was so nice and told him he didn’t have to keep anything from him. But then why did Chad feel so sick?
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 9:26 am
Elliot was still smiling at the idea of Chad cheering for him when he confessed.
That was a confession, right? His face was frozen in a smile as he tried to process what Chad had said and make sure he wasn’t misinterpreting it. His heart was pounding suddenly and his face was very red and he–
Well, he was confused, at first. Happy! Flattered! Surprised!
He had butterflies again, but as things sunk in he realized he was more worried that Chad liked the idea of him more than him. Well–no, that wasn’t right. Chad just didn’t have a lot of friends and Elliot couldn’t understand why not because he was so great, and–
Oh, his head was swimming.
“Well–first of all, I think you can fall in love with whoever your heart says you love. So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with two boys falling in love. I mean, my dads did, and I love them and they’re happy.”
Chad’s father, probably, must have been the one to tell him it was wrong, or–whatever, Elliot didn’t want to waste time thinking about the guy. He sounded like the type of person he didn't ever want to get to know and he was all the more sorry that Chad was stuck with him.
“But, you like like me? Is it–is it just because I stopped those guys from picking on you? Because–I mean, that’s okay if it is! But I was thinking, maybe if it is just that, maybe we could spend some time together so, like–well, we could get to know each other more? And not have to worry about what other people are saying or thinking or whatever? Is this making sense? I feel like my mouth is all cottony. In a good way! I think. I don’t know if anyone’s like liked me. I never even thought about it! My dads say I can’t date until high school. Oh, but I guess that’s soon, huh?”
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 10:13 am
Wait, dating?? That definitely wasn’t what Chad meant when he told him. Really, he didn’t know what to expect, so Elliot not telling him to get out of his house was definitely a good thing!
But he sputtered and opened his eyes once more to--
Oh, Elliot’s face was so red and it was so cute and it just meant that Chad’s face felt hotter now.
“No! I mean, yes? I mean, I didn’t know you, um, existed until you stopped those guys. But I didn’t like like you until later. I was curious about you and overheard that you played baseball, and then I saw your name on the list for debate club and it said anyone could come watch. I’m not really good in the heat, but you look like you have so much fun at track, even if there’s not as much food, so I wanted to be there to support you, too. Although, I guess if you didn’t know I was there then I wasn’t really doing much to support you.”
He knew he was rambling again, and he didn’t know what he was really saying, but he felt as though he needed to explain himself.
“I would like to get to know you more. Even if it’s just as a friend! I don’t mean anything weird by it, I promise! I haven’t had many friends, so I should probably work on that first and learn how to be a good one, because you deserve good friends. Anyway, a lot of people like like you. They talk about you all the time. Everyone in our grade says how smart and nice you are, and how good at sports you are.”
Wait, should he be telling Elliot that there were plenty of others he could easily pick from that would want to get to know him? Oh no, maybe he was already making this worse for himself.
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 10:22 am
Elliot’s face was still red and he’d sat up like that would help him think better. While he thought, he tapped his fingers on his knees and pursed his lips. “Well, none of them ever told me. You’re the first. So I guess that makes you the bravest, too.”
Even if he didn’t know what that meant, or what he was supposed to do about it. But he liked the idea of getting to know each other better, that was easy!
“You don’t have to be loud to support someone. Every little bit helps. Now I’ll know to look for you. And I bet I’ll smile every time I see you in the crowd.”
He was smiling now, even if he could hear his blood rushing loudly in his ears.
“But–yeah! I want to get to know you more, for sure. You’re not weird, I don’t think there’s anything weird about what you said. Sorry! No one ever told me that before though, I got all flustered.” He fanned himself quickly and then laughed and shook his head. “I don’t think you’re going to have to work very hard to be a good friend. I really do like spending time with you, Ch…..amp.”
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 11:03 am
Somehow, all of his worrying and anxiety that was swirling around inside him seemed to immediately freeze at that nickname. He stared at Elliot for a moment, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop the giggles from bubbling out.
All of the reassurances from Elliot helped, too. He knew it was probably weirder than Elliot said it was, but he appreciated Elliot’s kindness and acceptance. He most certainly had never been called brave before. And no one but Elliot had told him they liked spending time with him.
It took a little while to get the giggles under control. He didn’t think he was a Champ either, but anything was better than Chad. Even if it sounded a little silly.
“Thank you, Elliot. And I would like to go with you to the craft store, and get lunch, and see the ducks. After your game, of course.”
He was still worried that he’d said too much, but Elliot was always so reassuring that he would do his best to believe him.
“I’m sorry I flustered you. I didn’t want to keep secrets from you.”
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 11:15 am
Chad’s laughter was contagious and Elliot immediately felt himself relaxing. He laughed, eased and comforted. He reached onto his bed and groped for one of the stuffed animals. He grabbed the octopus, big enough to shove into his lap, and leaned over it comfortably.
“Don’t apologize, I appreciate it. I’ll try not to keep secrets, either. Keeping secrets from people you care about turns into trouble and misunderstanding. I mean, not always. But when the secrets turn into lies, maybe that’s where the problems happen. But you don’t have to lie to me, ever. Or keep secrets. Not even for surprise parties or anything. Well.”
He gave Chad a look and smiled. “Maybe. We’ll see. I’ll trust you to pick out good secrets and bad ones. But that’s not a bad one. I’m sorry your dad is. Well. I can see why you don’t get along. If he’s,” he gestured vaguely. “Well, you know. Against everyone being able to fall in love with whoever they’re supposed to. My parents have had to deal with plenty of people like that. Even with Destiny City how it is, someone always complains when they find out. But my parents work really hard to be good influences, and have a positive impact on the community. I don’t think it’s fair that they have to work harder than everyone else, but. They’re happy and that’s what matters, and some people are just born mean. So,” he leaned over to give Chad another gentle hug. “We’re going to have a good day, I’m excited for this weekend.”
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