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 Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2022 12:08 pm
A week off from her meeting with Kayde, Elka's emotions were still in turmoil. She'd find her heart racing at odd points of the day, filling her with a sense of dread or anxiety that was making her job harder than it already was. She really had to swallow her tongue a lot, her frustrations at her current predicament making her want to lash out at anyone over anything and everything. No one ever asked what was on her mind, used to her sullen expressions and moodswings already. It was only pity for her situation in life that kept her here at all, she knew. And that suited her fine. She didn't need anyone nosing into her business.
The only thing that kept her somewhat distracted was practicing dance. The Ice girl would get lost in the steps, trying to focus on where her feet were going and not falling over when she tried something more difficult. She did this in the back of the inn during good days, books probed up on boxes with pages opened to lessons. When the weather was bad, she'd pick a spare private dining room, shoving the tables along the wall to make more room. She always traded in a bit of extra time doing something in the kitchen to rent a bit of time to do this, often staying in there until one of the girls came up to tell her someone had booked it and she needed to stop. It was quiet and relaxing and gave her a break from the constant thoughts going through her mind.
Which was where she was now, raising one graceful leg in imitation of the drawing in the book. It had been a few days since the dining room had been rented out and she hoped that streak would continue. At least until she could clear her mind completely.
1/10
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2022 3:13 pm
Kayde's mind was equally as troubled. He couldn't stop thinking about his conversation with Murie, or any talks with the older man and anyone else in the company. Most of them didn't seem to feel all that bad about leaving Elka behind. The few that had reservations about it were like him. They felt guilty about it, it didn't make them feel good to still be here. But where else would they go? Most of them had no families to go back to or had escaped bad households. They had to work for a living. He understood all that. He didn't fault them for their decision, not the ones who did feel empathy with the Ice girl.
It still didn't make him feel any better about himself.
After a week of moping around, the young man finally decided he couldn't sit idly anymore. Finishing up practice for the day, he put away his things, changed into something more comfortable, and left for the city with a purpose to his stride.
1/10
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2022 10:16 am
Oblivious to who was coming towards her, Elka continued her private lesson. Glancing once at the book open on the table, she raised her arms above her head, stretching them out above her. Keeping her eyes fixed on one point on the wall, she twirled, lowering her arms as she did so.
Dancing wasn't too hard. Having grown up in a rich household, she already knew about how to balance and move her body in a graceful manner. It was one of the first things she had been taught when she was a little girl by the governess, with her mother watching over to make sure she was satisfied with what her daughter was learning and how.
Thoughts of her mother brought pangs of homesickness shooting through her body, causing her spin to falter. Putting out a foot, Elka stopped herself easily, hands going to her chest as a sob formed in her throat. No, none of that. She slapped her face once, gently, and took a deep breath. With everything else going on, she missed her cozy life back in Zena even more Maybe she could find someone to sponsor her as a dancer. Maybe she could make it big and finally return home. To stay and never leave ever again.
Shaking out her arms, the Ice girl put herself back into concentrating on where her feet were going.
2/10
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2022 12:27 pm
"Hey, Kayde," came a silky smooth voice when the young Leaf man entered the inn. He felt his skin crawl as he felt eyes on him, looking him up and down. Sure enough, when he looked over at the counter, there was Pamalaya, smiling at him in a way he didn't much like. Somehow he managed to keep his expression light and friendly, not inviting her but not repelling her, either. There wasn't any point to either with the young woman. He guessed, soon enough, she'd learn they had a new strong man and be pushing for her next day off to go see him.
"Thought you would have moved on by now," he commented politely, going up to the counter. Pamalaya straightened up from where she had been leaning her elbows on the surface, putting her hands behind her back.
"No better place than this, Kayde. You know I love people."
That was one way to put it.
"Is Elka working today?"
The look of surprise on her face was hard to miss. "Elka? You're not still pining over that one, are you?" He gave a sheepish shrug of his shoulders, raising his eyebrows in a guilty way. The woman sighed, pointing with a finger towards a door in the back. "In there. Honestly, Kayde. You can do better than her."
Once more shrugging his shoulders, Kayde made his way towards the door.
2/10
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2022 2:57 pm
Elka was in the middle of another spin when she heard the door opening. Once more putting out one foot to stop and balance her, she began turning her head to glare at whoever had interrupted her private time. Was it time, finally, for someone to demand her space back?
"What is--" she began to say, as her golden eyes took in the person standing in the doorway. Not one of the girls, but Kayde was looking sheepishly at her, an apology in his eyes. She gasped loudly, teetering on her one raised foot and almost falling over. Only the flailing of her arms, one hand finding the back of a chair saved her from the embarrassment of it. She stood there, looking down at the table, going over and over the word "balance" in the open book. "I don't want to see you." How could someone even let him in the building after what he had been a part of.
3/10
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 12:34 pm
It was nice to see she was still the old Elka that he had known and loved so long ago. Everyone always thought her so haughty and selfish, but he saw a strong woman who didn't let anyone else walk all over her. A woman who would grow to be even stronger than she was now by the experiences life threw at her. Even after living as she was, there was still a confident tilt up of her chin that told him she knew her worth and wanted him to, too.
Nothing to worry about there. Kayde was well aware of her worth.
Closing the door behind him so they could have privacy, the young man leaned his back against it, looking her straight in the eyes. He wanted her to know he was just as confident as she was. That he wouldn't give up this time and let her go. He would prove his worth, if he had to. Prove that he wasn't as stupid as he had been.
"I know. But can we just talk? For a bit? I have things to say, too."
3/10
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 12:41 pm
With an upwards tilt of her head, so she was looking a little down her nose at him-or as much as she could at her shorter height-Elka put on her most practiced haughty expression, arms crossed over her chest. Though a part of her was curious what he might have to say, she also wanted Kayde to know how difficult this was going to be for him if he wished to proceed with trying to mend what had been broken. If he even could. She didn't see the point of it. He would leave when the group left and that would be the end of that. Why bother putting in useless effort?
"Fine," she spat out. Looking away sharply, the curls around her face whipping out, Elka pulled out a chair, setting it down in the middle of the room where she had just been standing. She motioned towards another, indicating he could sit if he wished. Than she crossed her legs as well as her arms, putting up as many defenses as she could. "Speak."
4/10
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Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2022 10:01 am
She looked so formidable, sitting there like that. Like a fortress. But than, that was the point, he was sure.
Kayde paused for a bit when she offered the other chair, watching her eyebrows raise at his hesitation. Didn't he want to talk, they seemed to say into the silence. Did he? Now that he was here, he felt his courage starting to drain a bit. There was no going back now, though, not now that he was facing her and she was waiting.
As he thought about what to say, he pulled out a chair, turning it to face hers, keeping a large distance between them. She was clearly still too mad to let him get close to her even a little bit. Not like back in the alley when emotions had taken over. No. She wouldn't allow that to happen again. Not until, or if, she ever forgave him.
Taking a seat, Kayde took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Not missing the small roll of her eyes as he continued to bide his time.
"I swear I didn't know," he repeated, running a hand nervously through his hair so it stuck up at the sides. "But I never did stop thinking and worrying about you. I couldn't just leave, though. I had to make a living. You can understand that. This is the first time we've been back this way."
4/10
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2022 5:48 pm
"Mhm. You said that."
Elka was not impressed thus far. Same ole speech. And while she believed him, everything that he said, it wasn't going to make the hurt go away. At least not just yet. But again. Why should she work at forgiving him when he wasn't going to stay here, anyway? He'd leave and her emotions would go back to being raw.
5/10
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2022 5:54 pm
That wasn't enough. Of course that wasn't enough. Repeating the same words he had said the last time. Fortunately, he did have more prepared. He would lay himself bare before this woman if need be, reveal everything that was inside for her to judge.
"I don't even want to be with them anymore. It was hard enough to forgive them over the years. But I was afraid to be without the income from working there."
And now? Was now any different? Something felt different, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. He felt more determined, that was all he knew. More determined to make her understand. More determined to bring back what they had.
5/10
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2022 6:03 pm
Just like before, as he spoke more and more from his heart, the Ice girl could feel her own heart stirring. Softening. Tightening her arms across her chest, she forced coldness back into her heart, forced a firm glare onto her face.
"Very sweet words, Kayde. But if you don't want to be there, what will you do? You can't just say these words and expect them to be enough."
Somewhere deep underneath the resentment, hope sparked. He'd always been a very honest person. What he said was always the truth. And anytime he had tried to lie, always something small and insignificant, she'd always been able to see through it. He was horrible at deceiving others. But he didn't know what he was saying. He was emotional and letting that wind him up. Words were not enough. Not anymore. She needed to see he was serious.
6/10
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2022 8:05 pm
Kayde ran a hand through his hair, again, not improving its look. But than again, he'd always looked fine with slightly messy hair. Elka always said she found it more attractive than some guy who spent way too long in front of the mirror to look a certain way. He guessed when you had grown up surrounded by everyone putting so much effort into appearances, it was nice being with someone who didn't see the need to spend so much time on it.
He hoped she didn't think he was doing this to try and sway her in any way. He'd take any help he could get with convincing her he meant business this time, if she did.
"It's not just words. I will leave and find something else." What, he wasn't really sure. But she need not know that. He was given a second opportunity to make things right and he wasn't going to squander this.
6/10
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2022 10:12 am
Elka rubbed at her legs, instead of smoothing out a skirt she currently wasn't wearing. For the sake of easy movement, she had put on a pair of tight pants with soft slippers on her feet. It always felt odd to wear pants, but she thought it'd feel even odder to wear a much shorter skirt. What if someone entered and caught her in a certain position where they'd be able to see underneath it. Didn't matter if it was one of the girls, that was something she didn't want to be caught in. Here was a good example to justify her feelings. Kayde might have seen something he didn't need to see.
"I don't think you understand how things work," she answered, looking down at her lap while she fidgeted with her hands. "Real life is a bit....Different than running around the country with a band of entertainers." She wasn't oblivious to the irony of what she was saying. This was her not so long ago, not understanding how hard the real world was and how cushy she had it back in Zena. She would have grown up and married a rich man, never once stepping out of her comfort zone.
7/10
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2022 10:23 am
What she said was true. He didn't know what it was like to live in one place, to work as she now was. He had a lot more freedom where he currently was. If he wanted to change his routine up, he could. He had his own wagon to live in. His only responsibilities were to help the others and take his turn standing under the banner to take people's money and hand them a ticket for the day. He kept up with his own practices. The only thing he was told to do was when he'd been scheduled to perform. If he left all that, he'd have to work more stricter hours and have a boss standing over him. He'd also have to find somewhere to live and risk dealing with unsavory neighbors.
Kayde had never stayed in one place for very long ever since he'd left the orphanage. These were all thoughts that put a pit into his stomach when he thought about it. It wasn't anything he wanted to do. If only there was a new group nearby he could join and take Elka with him. Maybe if he found the right one, she'd be happier.
But no. As soon as that thought appeared, he squashed it back down. That wasn't thinking maturely at all. That was still being delusional. The only way to go about this was move into the city.
"I've not been idle all this time. I've been saving money away."
7/10
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2022 10:27 am
"I know you do. But that doesn't mean anything." Elka looked around the room. She was starting to tire of this conversation. It really didn't feel like it was going anywhere and she wanted to get in more practice time while she could. She stood up, picked up the chair and put it back with the table. She stood there staring at the wall, gripping the back of it. "I think that's enough."
8/10
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