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 Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2022 11:19 am
Indigo_Plateau Backdated to December 15, 2021
He’d settled on his story. All night Elias had been turning the situation over and over in his mind, watching on repeat as crystal blue eyes teared up and a bubble of dark blood formed on Micah’s lips as he lay sprawled flat on his back in the snow, Sawtooth’s boot heavy on his chest. He heard it in every little creak in his house, that sound of Micah’s ribs snapping under the pressure. He wouldn’t apologize for trying to kill a Negaverse agent. The Chaos needed to be expunged, and that was the most efficient and reliable way to go about it. Kill them, and don’t give them the opportunity to do the same.
But it was Micah. It was his Micah. They’d been together since high school. They’d raised a child. His Micah, his Micah, choking and bleeding and pleading with Sawtooth to stop, to leave him alone, to let him go.
He could’ve died from his injuries. Even after Sawtooth had backed off, even after he’d called an ambulance, there was always that chance of medical complications. That they wouldn’t have been able to save him. That he’d been dead when they showed up. That he froze or bled out or drowned in his own blood in the moments Elias had left him alone.
He could be dead.
Hecouldbedeadhecouldbedead-
The thought hung heavy in his mind for several hours. Kept him awake through the night. Elias had no idea what he would do if Micah died. How would he explain it to their daughter. How could he ever even look at her again knowing that he had killed her daddy, and he would be entirely unable to reveal it to her? She slept peacefully, blissfully unaware of the turmoil her Papa felt as Eli stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom for six hours straight.
He called the hospital early the next morning just to get reassurances. Micah was alive, recovering after surgery. No visitors yet, but he should be awake and well enough by the next day.
That was when Elias went.
He’d taken a glass from the cabinet, filled it halfway with water, trimmed a pretty daisy from the greenhouse out back, and went to the hospital. He was directed to his ex-husband’s room, and Eli stood outside the open door, just out of sight, for several seconds while he gathered himself. The worst had already been avoided, so there wasn’t any reason for trepidation. But there was a disheartening mingling of tumultuous feelings warring in the back of Eli’s mind.
Guilt at what he’d done.
Wariness at speaking to Micah again after having not for several months.
Doubt that he even wanted to attempt friendliness at someone who was poisoned with Chaos or potentially cheating on him- They were divorced, he couldn’t be cheating. But it still bubbled like frustration that that could have been a part in all this.
Annoyance. Because it never should’ve happened. How had Micah gotten dragged into the Negaverse? Why wouldn’t he have confided in Eli? His husband of a decade?
With a resigned snort, Eli braced himself and walked in.
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2022 1:12 pm
He wasn’t dead! Micah was in complete shock and disbelief, but he was actually alive. In the hospital with a pair of broken ribs and a punctured lung. Sore and with an absolutely insane bruise spread across his chest, but not dead. Why wasn’t he dead?
He definitely remembered the fear above all else. It eclipsed even the pain. He remembered the terror of looking up at a man he was so sure wanted to kill him. He’d seen it in the page’s eyes: how sure he was of what he was doing. How far he was willing to go. No hesitation. No talking. No warning. They were enemies. He’d intended to kill Nobleite. Micah was sure of it.
Maybe the knight thought he’d succeeded. It wasn’t very likely that anyone would’ve found Micah laying out there until it was too late. Or maybe he’d seen someone else coming? The ambulance had found its way to him surprisingly quickly.
”M-micah?” His own name on the page’s lips. Soft, confused, uncertain.
But maybe he was remembering wrong… Maybe he just wanted there to be a reason the other hadn’t killed him, and that was what his mind inserted into the scene to make it seem… realistic? That was what he concocted by way of explanation, even though he wasn’t sure how much sense that made, either.
Regardless, he was to be trapped here for a week. And then inside his home for two more after that, with the information that he absolutely should not partake in any strenuous activities. A part of him wondered if he should stay in Negaspace for that length of time… He would probably heal faster, and none of his Negaverse contacts would have to go looking for “Nobleite” where “Micah” lived. He definitely wouldn’t be running into any of the White Moon there.
For now, though, he’d begun cycling through the list of people he needed to contact: his clients, his parents, Eli… His clients were for courtesy’s sake. They’d need to know he was likely to miss any immediately upcoming appointments. His mother would be fraught with concern. And Eli… Micah decided it was best to save him for last. He needed to know because they still had to coordinate who was watching Teyla, where she would be, who could have her while either of them worked- And he did sort of hope his daughter would like to see him and know he was okay…
But their relationship was barely cordial at this point. Micah should’ve been grateful for that. He wanted the distance to protect Elias and Teyla from his general. But it hurt. It hurt so much that someone he’d loved for so long would just… hate him so easily.
He was on the phone with his mother, trying desperately to reassure her that he was fine, and she was welcome to visit, and he was being as safe and careful as he knew how- When Elias was suddenly in the doorway. Micah stared for several seconds, then blurted into the receiver of his cell phone. “Momma, I’ll call you back- No, I said I would call you back! I have to go- Okay, I love you too. Yes, I will- Okay, bye.”
He scrabbled to end the call, but once it was done, he didn’t know what to do besides stare widened blue eyes at the man standing there in front of him.
“Eli…” He whispered, soft and breathless, as if he was afraid the man would turn on him if he made too much fuss about seeing him. “What are you doing here?”
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 5:28 am
As Elias stepped into the room, he set the glass with its one little flower, clipped out of his garden, on the table next to Micah’s bed. To see the other man animated enough to fuss with his mother was something of a relief. He’d almost expected to walk in to find Micah moaning in agony, pale and sweaty where he lay… But maybe that was just because that was how he’d looked, last time Eli had seen him.
“I’m still your emergency contact on your insurance,” he lied breezily.
No one had called him to let him know his ex was injured. Eli had no idea who they’d called so that someone in Micah’s circle would know where he was and how he was doing, but he assumed they’d called someone, but maybe not. Micah seemed capable of speaking for himself and well enough after his surgery that maybe they expected him to handle such activities on his own.
A part of him wanted to cling to the offense Elias had been holding onto since their divorce. Being angry was easier than being sad. Micah had wronged him, and so now Eli wanted nothing to do with him. Cut him out. He’d been doing it for over a year now. It should be second nature.
But that part was weirdly dwarfed by wanting to sit next to him, hold his hand, feel reassured that Eli hadn’t killed him. He took a seat in the chair next to the bed and managed to contain the rest of those feelings by settling his arms on the armrest.
Since Micah was speaking and because Eli had to know how that night’s events would be recounted, he had to ask, “How did this happen?”
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 5:38 am
His gaze followed every little movement. The glass set on the table, the sort of shift like Eli didn’t want to sit, the way he eventually settled into the chair at Micah’s side. His heart fluttered. It felt like he didn’t know how to feel relief or peace without Elias there, and he hadn’t been for so long. To have the man just sit next to him could have brought Micah to actual tears.
He wanted to reach, to touch the tips of his fingers to Eli’s shoulder, his face, whisper how much he missed him, how happy he was to see him here, right now.
But he couldn’t, because he’d done this to himself. To keep them safe. He folded his hands in his lap.
Micah wouldn’t even think to question how likely it was that Eli still was or wasn’t his emergency contact. He’d never done anything to update old forms for insurance or work. If that was who the hospital had contacted for any information on him, Micah hardly thought it was strange.
But he had no idea what to tell Elias now. Had no idea how to respond or what to say. Couldn’t possibly truthfully answer his questions. He hadn’t expected to have to explain it to his ex of all people, because Elias had barely kept contact with him, wanted nothing to do with him outside of what they needed to do for the wellbeing of their daughter. …And that was how Micah was supposed to want it.
Swallowing down the doubt, he smoothed a hand through his shaggy pink hair. “I was walking to my car after work when I was attacked by a mugger or something, I guess. I mostly just remember being on the ground. Everything else is a little hazy.” He rubbed lightly at his chest, feeling the sting of the slight pressure. “Just a few broken ribs. I don’t even think he had a knife, or anything.”
It sounded reasonable and believable to him. Destiny City was unusually unsafe…
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 5:48 am
Elias jumped for the response before Micah had even finished speaking. “The nurse said the ambulance picked you up in some residential neighborhood downtown, closer to where I live than where you live. Nowhere near your work.”
Rationally, Elias knew that he shouldn’t be turning this into the Inquisition. He should be asking if Micah was okay. How he was feeling. If he needed anything. When he wanted Eli to bring Teyla in. Questions that just showed concern and a willingness to accommodate someone he’d loved. That was what any decent human would do. But given that Micah was alive and speaking, Elias could hardly think of anything besides just wanting him to say it, to confide in Eli what had actually happened.
’Say it, say it.’ Micah didn’t know that Elias was a knight. Micah didn’t know they were enemies, like Eli did. He probably didn’t know Elias was involved in this war, at all. But if Micah was an agent, it must be such a huge part of his life. There shouldn’t be any reason he wouldn’t just admit to it- At least, that’s how it would’ve been a year ago, when they were still together.
It should’ve been something they could talk about, if it started prior to the divorce. Elias couldn’t think of a time when Micah hadn’t come to him with something that would change their lives.
Why hadn’t he..?
Why had he just… left?
“Were you scared?” Elias asked on a hushed breath. Had he been…? Had Micah been frightened of the Negaverse’ power and unwilling to involve people who mattered to him? Was that more likely than Elias’ thought that this man, his husband, had cheated on him after the decade they’d been together?
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 6:00 am
Micah’s expression strained, but he didn’t have an explanation he could give Elias. Couldn’t say he had any sort of magical abilities and there was a magical war, and one of the enemy had found him and tried to kill him. He didn’t dare mention the Negaverse. In part because Elias didn’t need to know about it, and in part because he was fairly certain there’d be trouble if anyone found out he was just going and talking about it to civilians.
“I had a house call,” he choked out instead, crystalline gaze darting to Elias’ face as if trying to prove it was the truth by sheer virtue of being able to look him in the eye while he said it. Micah didn’t make a habit out of lying, but this was his tell when he told untruths. A ‘believe me’ sort of insistence, different from the easy calm of honest conversation.
“I was scared,” Micah admitted, thinking that Elias could have only been asking if Micah had been scared during the attack, which he obviously was! He wasn’t some self-defense guru or anything. If someone wanted to take Micah- or Nobleite- out, it wouldn’t be that much of a challenge! “I kept thinking of you and Teyla and wondering if you would even know, or if I’d end up just like those missing people… If I was just ‘missing,’ I was afraid she’d think I abandoned her… That I didn’t love her anymore and just decided to leave without telling anyone.”
Maybe it was foolish. Teyla was so sweet and she knew he wouldn’t abandon her…
What was mostly upsetting is that Micah wasn’t sure, now, after the biting and chilly distance the divorce had put between them, if Elias wasn’t speaking ill of him behind his back to their daughter. If Elias would’ve encouraged the thought that Micah had left them because he didn’t care about them, anymore… Teyla had never mentioned it, but Micah still feared it was a possibility, whether he was dead or not.
He should want it. He should want that distance. But his family- His husband, his daughter. Micah loved them, still loved both of them. It hurt to think they might ever wonder otherwise…
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 6:07 am
’You’re lying. I know you’re lying. I can hear it. I can see it.’ Elias’ jaw clenched at the mention of a house call. It wasn’t like it wasn’t believable, but he could see the frantic sort of insistence Micah put forth when he wasn’t telling the complete truth. Eli couldn’t be upset about it, though, or at least, he knew he shouldn’t be.
Chaos twisted and poisoned people. There was no way Micah was thinking rationally, no way he thought he could confide in the people who loved him. There was certainly more going on, more that had been going on for a while.
…Right.
Right.
That was where all of Elias’ ire should be directed. He’d spent months and months hiding sadness with anger that he dumped squarely on Micah’s shoulders, concocting his own reasons why his husband had just- shut down and abandoned him. Until he had information otherwise, he could just assume that the Negaverse had taken Micah away, poisoned him, made him decide to leave Eli and Teyla for who knew what reason. Everything was Chaos’ fault.
Don’t be mad at Micah. Not yet. Not until he could learn more. He wouldn’t get that information here. Elias could tell that much. Sitting in a hospital room with a fearful and injured man who was struggling to say anything believable… It just wasn’t the place. There’d be better, more private opportunities later.
Unable to stop himself any longer, Elias reached one hand out, brushed it lightly down Micah’s arm as he reached for his ex’s hand. “Would you have told me if something else was going on?” He questioned quietly. “If there was more? Teyla knows you love her more than anyone else in the entire world. You don’t have any reason to think you’d just… disappear and she’d hate you for it. You know that, right?”
Regardless of what Micah might believe, Eli wasn’t so petty that he’d attempt to turn Teyla against him. Eli had been angry, yes, but he couldn’t inflict that on their innocent daughter, couldn’t try and make her agree that Daddy hated them.
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 6:32 am
The instant Elias reached for him, Micah was already reaching back, grateful for any single opportunity to lace his fingers with Eli’s and hold his hand, and desperate for any shred of comfort he could glean from someone he loved so much. It was dreadful of him. He’d chosen to leave, in case his general was unhinged enough to not want Micah to have other personal attachments. He’d chosen distance for Elias and Teyla’s safety.
But his heart craved them, craved closeness and comfort from people he desperately loved and wanted in his life. ’Keep it together,’ he scolded himself.
’I would’ve told you everything,’ is what Micah wanted to say. He wanted to swear up and down that he would never keep anything from his family, but it would just be that weird half-truth insistence again, that panicky sort of lie that was just begging for Elias to believe him. It wasn’t what Micah wanted. This whole conversation wasn’t what Micah wanted. “Everything I could,” he said instead.
And because they were definitely, definitely still talking about the attack and how strange it was for Micah to be randomly assaulted in a residential neighborhood, it felt perfectly easy to say, “I don’t know what more there could be. I just worry what she must think. How she must see it…”
They’d had tiffs, of course. Elias and Micah had disagreed and argued on occasion, so it wasn’t like Teyla had never seen them fight. But even to a young girl, he doubted she would see that as the reason they’d separated. She probably couldn’t see any reason they’d separated. Elias probably couldn’t see any reason they’d separated. Because there wasn’t one. He loved these two with all his heart, and he knew it must have been so confusing and out-of-the-blue for both of them… For Micah to just… stop talking to Elias, and then to say he wanted a divorce with no real reason behind it.
He could only assume they must think that he’d simply fallen out of love with both of them.
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 6:44 am
“Okay, right, of course you would.” Elias didn’t try that hard to keep the bite out of his words or the grim sort of glower he shot Micah’s way. ‘Everything he could?’ It certainly didn’t seem like it. But he reminded himself to be angry t the Negaverse, not at Micah, no matter how petulant Eli felt and how much easier he thought it would be if Micah would just talk to him, like they used to.
He rubbed his fingers over Micah’s where their hands clasped, in as much of a reassuring gesture as he could manage. “No one is stopping you from coming around more often,” he reminded Micah.
And, like, fine, maybe Elias’ attitude was a tiny bit of a deterrent, but it shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t stop Micah from seeing his daughter. “Just because she’s not mad about it, and that she doesn’t blame you, doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss you. You’re her Daddy. You should still be at her sports games and at those parent-teacher events. You could take her out to lunch some days or let her spend the night at your place. You talk like you’re afraid of what she thinks of you, but it’s… It’s just so strange how fast you just- left us. And didn’t look back.” And there had to be a reason. Even Micah should realize that it was strange that he couldn’t provide a reason. He couldn’t think Elias was so much of an unobservant idiot that he wouldn’t realize these pieces didn’t fit together?
But he cleared his throat, gave another gentle arm pat, and pulled his hand back to himself. “You should file a police report when you’re up for it.” Because normal people would want someone who’d attack someone they loved to be brought to justice.
It wasn’t like they’d ever find Sawtooth, anyway.
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:01 am
He wanted to apologize. All Micah wanted to do was apologize for the past year and how he’d handled this and assure Elias that it wasn’t personal. It was just necessary. But he didn’t. He couldn’t apologize and act like this wasn’t the decision he’d made for his husband’s benefit. He couldn’t apologize for not seeing Teyla for more than a few hours a week. Instead, he just shot Elias a weak smile.
“I think it’s a more stable household if she spends more time with you than with me. Work has been, well, very busy, and I’ve been dealing with people who just… need a lot of support.” Which was true. He couldn’t say he was afraid of them. It wasn’t completely within the purview of ‘psychiatrist’ to have to deal with people who actively sought to do them harm. Elias would just wonder why he was still dealing with people like that, if he was so worried. “As long as she knows I love her, and that I will always be there when she needs me, it’s best for now not to confuse her living arrangements.”
Micah leaned back against his pillow as Eli pulled away. “I’ve thought about submitting a report,” he replied. “But it feels like there’s almost no information I can give them. I barely remember what the guy even looks like.”
And there was a lot he wouldn’t be able to include in a police report, like what he’d actually been doing in that neighborhood. And why he’d actually been attacked. Basically, there was no way he could submit a report to the authorities about an almost-casualty in a magical and secret war. …He probably should submit a report to the Negaverse database, though. That there was a page patrolling around who was aggressive enough to kill lieutenants who weren’t careful enough or well-trained enough.
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:10 am
Elias hadn’t wanted to argue- or maybe he had. He’d definitely come prepared for the possibility of a difficult conversation. And having Micah not admit to his involvement in the Negaverse maybe made Eli want to press the matter… But ultimately, he didn’t want an argument with his insecure and injured ex-husband. He still felt the ire boiling that Micah would just outright say, ‘She’s better off with you…’
No s**t she was. Teyla didn’t need any secondhand Negaverse poisoning from her father, and Micah must realize that! So why was he with them, when even he actively admitted Teyla was better without him right now?
Elias didn’t want her brainwashed by the Negaverse, but he did want her to be able to be safe with her Dad! It was… convoluted and unfair, made him frustrated that he didn’t know what to do about it. Even more frustrated that Micah seemed so resolute, when he should just- Elias huffed. He didn’t know what they should do. He was irritated at himself for how easily the relief at not killing him was eclipsed by the desire to just force him to understand that his way was wrong. Wrong for Micah. Wrong for their daughter. Wrong for Eli.
“Anyway,” he moved to stand. “I just wanted to see how you were doing and figure out if there was anything I could do for you while you recover? I’ll bring Teyla around tomorrow, if you want. She should know what’s keeping you from her.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:16 am
He didn’t want Elias to leave him.
But Micah wouldn’t admit that. It wasn’t like they were on good terms just because of this. Eli had probably just come around to get a grasp on the situation so he could relay whatever he felt was necessary to Teyla or anyone who might need to take over watching her more during Micah’s absence. Even this quick visit had probably been an inconvenience for him, no matter what sort of pleasantries Elias had put forth. Micah glanced to the cut flower in its cup of water, and for whatever it brought, he did feel a shred of peace at having Eli with him, if only briefly.
“Thank you for coming,” he said as looked back to the other man with an almost easy smile. “I think I’m only to be here for a few more days, so I’ll be okay until they send me home. I’m sure my mom will visit and bring anything I need. She could probably bring Teyla, too, if you didn’t want to? I expect she’ll get bored if she has to stay too long.”
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:19 am
“Okay.” His tone had dropped to barely above a whisper at Micah’s refusal. It was like a poignant reminder that they weren’t anything anymore. There should be nothing between them. Micah didn’t need Elias, even if Elias still thought about him.
He stepped in close, threaded an arm loosely around Micah’s shoulders and dipped to kiss the crown of his head.
“We’ll see you tomorrow, Micah. Try and feel better,” Elias advised as he stepped back, gave a lingering look at the man settled in the hospital bed, then turned to leave. His heart still ached, but it was enough for now to know that Micah wasn’t dead because of him. Whatever was going on here, they could figure it out. Elias just had to be patient. And careful. And, God forbid, open-minded. But for Micah and for Teyla, he could do it. He had to try and do something to save him, no matter what Micah had done to them.
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