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 Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2022 6:21 pm
Michael drove them most of the way. He did his best to explain to Devyn what he was doing as he drove them. The importance of seatbelts, how traffic lights worked, the basic laws in regards to driving and road safety. He pointed out places of interest too, in the hopes that, if Devyn did get lost, he would be able to recognize at least something.
There was the reservoir outside of the city that had a decent amount of parking, and plenty of trails for walking around. Michael couldn’t help but be cautious when it came to powering up. He knew how easy it would be for someone to have the same ability to feel others’ auras as he could. And he wanted to give Devyn a chance to use up some of his energy if he needed a place to run around, in case Soleiyu couldn’t meet with them.
The message to Soleiyu, requesting his presence because Alastor needed assistance with getting his power back, had been prewritten. Which meant once Michael was certain they were alone in the woods (or at least out of sight of any civilians with no other auras around), he could send the message as soon as he powered up.
As Sessrumnir, he’d always known the Wonder was more of a scholarly place than Valhalla, but even he’d been granted a decent amount of armor. It didn’t stop him from getting injured frequently, but it helped.
With the message sent, Sessrumnir held out his hand to take the orb necklace back from Devyn, having gotten into the habit of removing it before powering up or down so it was always with him. Necklace back around his neck, he reached down to touch the fang attached to his belt.
“I’m not going to call her out here, just in case we need her. My magic doesn’t last forever and I don’t want to risk using it up,” he explained, but he at least wanted Devyn to see that he’d been telling the truth about having it.
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2022 6:40 pm
Devyn had a million questions. So many that it was hard to reign them in. He listened while Michael explained, but the more he learned, the more he’d wondered. He wore his seatbelt, learned the general rules of the road, didn’t try to open the door while they were moving. He wanted to press all the buttons, but he’d managed to sit mostly still during all of it.
He didn’t think he liked the car. He preferred walking, but Michael was a good teacher and held his interest for long enough that Devyn couldn’t even get worked up about having to sit still for too long.
Some of the landmarks he'd committed to memory. Some of them he wanted to see in person. Some of them were forgotten already, but he’d probably recognize them if he saw them again.
But, it still felt like an adventure, and he seemed to like the forest almost as much as the city. The reservoir, not so much, but aside from a slightly sour expression when Michael mentioned it, Devyn seemed like he was enjoying everything Earth had to offer. The fresh air, the dry ground, the sunlight.
He’d tried not to stare while Michael powered up, but. He did. Like he was afraid that if he’d blinked he might have missed something.
There was no deception.
The outfit wasn’t exactly like Percy’s, but. If he’d seen Michael out like this, powered up, he might have known it was Sessrumnir. Maybe. The oak leaves made him think it was obvious, but it was the fang that really sealed it for him.
He wanted to see Princess, even if just for a second. But, he didn’t ask, because he knew that if he saw her it wouldn’t be just for a second. Michael was being responsible and Devyn respected that. He could wait until they went to Sessrumnir to see Princess.
For a brief moment, Devyn was in something of a daze as the pieces clicked into place and his mind made room to accommodate Michael’s version of Sessrumnir, Knight of Jupiter. It didn’t replace Percy’s version, it just existed simultaneously. He wasn’t willing to let go of that memory.
He powered up afterwards, just to make sure that if there was trouble, he was in a position to help. But, it felt calm here. Peaceful. He could hear birds, could smell the fresh air. The trees were thick and tall and he briefly wondered how long it would take him to climb one, and how much he’d be able to see if he did.
“That’s all right. She’s worth the wait.” He hoped Soleiyu would be, too. He looked at Michael–Sessrumnir–and had to take in his uniform again. “Jupiter’s a good look for you. You wear it well.”
It was just going to take some getting used to.
Soleiyu seemed to be fairly on top of things; he messaged back almost immediately:
Quote: The reservoir? Now? I’m in the middle of a project, give me five minutes. I’m by the caves.
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2022 6:51 pm
A more thorough exploration of what the car was capable of doing would just have to wait for another time. He could tell that Devyn was getting restless sitting there, but hopefully he kept it entertaining enough so he wasn’t completely bored.
He also noticed the way Devyn -- and soon Alastor -- was looking at him. He couldn’t imagine the thoughts going through Alastor’s head. The last time he probably saw anything similar to what Sessrumnir was wearing would have been on someone he’d loved deeply and lost.
Sessrumnir tried to offer Alastor a small smile, one that hopefully would help put him at ease. But he was also wearing the uniform that Alastor believed belonged to someone else. Belonged to Percy. He almost apologized for it, but the message from Soleiyu came back and he was at least distracted by that for a moment.
“He should be on his way,” Sessrumnir said as he pulled out a pen from his subspace pocket to jot down a note of thanks to make sure Soleiyu knew they got it, and sent it back with a press from his signet ring. Despite having all of the upgraded technology for it, Sessrumnir wasn’t all that fond of having to use that technology unless necessary.
“Are you okay?” he finally asked. “If this is too much, I can change back,” Sessrumnir offered, because if it was too weird or uncomfortable, well. He didn’t want Alastor to feel out of place more than he already was.
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2022 7:06 pm
“No,” Alastor said quickly. “It’s not that. It’s just a bit different from the last time I saw it. It’ll take me a bit of getting used to. It’s not bad.”
It didn’t mean he didn’t feel a twang of grief and regret and longing when he saw it, but he wasn’t grappling with reality or truth anymore. He didn’t like to think that Percy was gone, but he’d been alone for two months and had time to process it again. Was he done grieving? No. He’d probably never be. He missed him, constantly.
Knowing that Percy was gone only made his absence more pronounced.
Michael had no control over what had happened to Percy, Devyn couldn’t blame him. He didn’t resent him for wearing the mantle now. It had been passed to him. He inherited it. He was doing his best.
“I know it’s been a long time since he,” Alastor shrugged, “Sometimes it feels like it. Sometimes I can sit down and think about everything that happened afterwards. But sometimes it feels like I only just saw him the other day. I don’t think time is the same for me anymore. Maybe that’s just a side effect of being on my own for so long. Feels like if I turn around, I might still see him. I wasn’t expecting to find Sessrumnir so soon. I thought I’d have a little more time to adjust, but. I’m glad for it. Glad it’s you, too. I don’t have to worry about scaring you off.”
He paused. “Hopefully.”
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2022 7:21 pm
“Hopefully,” Sessrumnir repeated, but his voice was soft and sympathetic when he said it. He lifted his arms to cross over his chest, more relaxed than defensive.
“I don’t scare easily,” he promised after a moment. “If we’re being honest, I think I would be the one to scare you off first.” And with that he sighed, because he was grateful that Alastor seemed open to the idea of processing what happened and moving on from there. But at the same time, Sessrumnir knew that he tended to be difficult.
It was only a matter of time before he ended up doing something that pushed Alastor away. Just as he’d pushed Belmont away. Being harsh -- being mean -- seemed like the fastest way to get results. He felt bad, but he also knew he would likely default to that method again if he had to.
Which meant the faster Alastor had more of his powers back, the better. If he ended up leaving because he couldn’t stand being around any more, at least he would be able to defend himself better.
“I’m sorry. I know this must be difficult for you,” he said, and looked like he might want to say more, but in the end decided against it. He could tell Alastor he was sorry until he was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t change the fact that Percy died and Michael now had his starseed.
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2022 7:32 pm
Alastor tilted his head thoughtfully and crossed his arms over his chest as well. “It is difficult. I regret a lot of things, and I find I have been reminded of them often. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.”
Knowing better now didn’t mean Percy was ever going to come back. But he made promises and he intended to keep them. And what was the point of going to the Cauldron now, anyway? The intention had always been to be reborn with Percy so they could find each other again, but he’d let Percy sit in the Cauldron for so long it had kicked him out and sent him to Earth.
So he had to make the best of this life, that hadn’t yet seemed like it was any closer to ending.
Michael wasn’t exactly a complication, but Devyn had made a promise to Percy and he didn’t mean to break it. Only, Michael was his own person. Different from Percy. Who might choose to go off and make his own promises, and–
Yes, of course there was a selfish part of Devyn that didn’t like the idea that there might be someone else, but–
The timelines were messed up. He and Percy were supposed to grow old together, live an enriched life together, die together. To hold Michael to any sort of expectation was complicated, to say the least. They weren’t supposed to be reborn separately. He didn’t know what to make of this. He didn’t know how to keep his promises to Percy while respecting that Michael was not Percy, and–
Too complicated. He wondered how long he could push thinking about things off for. Right now he could at least focus on Soleiyu, and maybe fixing up Sessrumnir some when it was time to go visit, and looking for Ganymede, and–you know, maybe he should look after Michael, too. Make sure he was eating and sleeping and doing all right after losing his father.
“What makes you think you’d scare me off?”
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2022 7:48 pm
Sessrumnir nodded slowly in agreement, although he stared down at the ground instead of at Alastor. He knew too well about regretting decisions and wishing things were different. Mistakes made that could never be undone. Living with guilt and sorrow and everything that went along with it.
Too many people in his life had already died, and maybe that was part of the reason he pushed people away. He didn’t want to get to know them if it meant they would only die. If he got to know Alastor, what if the Negaverse found out they were associated? He wasn’t afraid of Jet or his threats.
But neither had been his father.
They were no closer to finding a way to break Ganymede out of Negaspace, short of begging for Cosmos or even Caedus’ help. If they could find either of them. Caedus got them in before. Cosmos got them out. Surely they’d be able to do something.
“I don’t know,” he shrugged after a few moments of kicking a piece of decaying wood on the ground. “Maybe I won’t live up to your expectations. Maybe I’ll do something you don’t agree with. Or you’ll be disappointed by how things turn out.”
He wasn’t sure why he said it, why he was honest, but that was just how it was when talking to Alastor. He couldn’t help but bare his heart, for better or worse. And he expected worse.
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2022 8:23 pm
Alastor listened. Watched. Had more patience for Michael–Sessrumnir–than he had for himself.
He stood still while he waited for Sessrumnir to find his words, and when he had, Alastor took a few seconds more to consider them. It wasn’t the answer he’d expected, even when he hadn’t known what to expect at all.
“You’re really worried about those things?” he asked.
Sessrumnir had seemed sincere, but it was such an honest, vulnerable answer that it still took him by surprise.
“I don’t have any expectations. I have hopes, but not expectations.”
He had a whole list of things he hoped to fix. He didn’t know if he’d be able to, or if he’d live long enough to figure out how. But he was going to try.
“I’ll probably do things you don’t agree with. People aren't made the same and they don’t always see eye to eye. You don’t seem like the type of person to do the wrong thing for the wrong reason. So if you do something I don’t agree with, I’d think you’d at least have a good reason for it. I don’t really have much going for me. I think I’d risk more disappointment if I was left on my own. You’ve given me the chance to change things. To fix them. If they don’t turn out any one way or another,” he shrugged. “Well, that’s probably on me. I’m not worried about those things. I’ll only be disappointed if I don’t do my best after all of this.”
All of the chances, all of the time, all of the resources.
That was on him, not Michael. All he’d done was help. He was the one who had to deal with all of Devyn’s questions, had to explain things to him, had to give him bad news.
And yet, he’d come through, every time so far. Gone above and beyond, and looked after him when he had no obligation to do so.
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2022 4:43 pm
Was he really worried about those things? In a way, yes. He knew Devyn had been looking for Percy. He hadn’t found Percy, but instead was told he’d been living a lie for hundreds of years. Devyn left shortly after finding that out, so Michael expected something similar to happen when Devyn found out that Michael had been keeping information from him. When Devyn found out that he was Sessrumnir in this life.
Michael knew that he shared no similarities with Percy. He wasn’t bright-eyed and cheerful. Maybe once, long, long ago Michael had been more of an optimist, but there were so many things that happened in his life that made him cold and bitter.
“You haven’t known me for very long,” Sessrumnir pointed out, even as he continued to avoid looking at Alastor. “I haven’t known you for very long,” he added, despite the fact that he felt as though he could trust Alastor more than anyone else he’d known. Again, he wondered if it was something to do with his starseed, or because there was something very sincere about the way Alastor seemed to trust him.
Which Alastor might end up regretting. And was one of the things He was worried about when it came to disappointment with how things turned out.
“There are a lot of people who would want to help you, so… if you need a break from being around me, or want another perspective on things…” Sessrumnir said and forced another shrug. Alastor should at least know he had options.
“I can take you to Sessrumnir, but… I’m not Percy. And things are probably a lot different from what you remember.”
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2022 5:23 pm
Alastor didn’t need a reminder. He knew Michael wasn’t Percy. He knew things were different. Everything was different. Alastor was different, Earth was different, Jupiter was different. Everything around him was different. He was different. He hadn’t yet found anything that was the same, or even really familiar to him.
“I know,” he said, calm despite the reality that he had nothing he knew. “I didn’t see my own world changing around me. When I look at it now, it doesn't match the pictures in my head. I remember when it was alive.”
When Percy was alive. When the people he grew up knowing were alive.
“But if Alastor isn’t the same, I can’t expect anything else to be. But I don’t know how to fix my world. I don’t know if I’m strong enough.” Which was obviously something he had difficulties admitting. Briefly, he looked frustrated, but it slipped away into an exasperated acceptance, and he continued, “I have to figure out how to fix a lot of things at once. I don’t even know if it can be fixed. But I can’t give up. I know I’m out of time and out of place. Everything I know is,” he drew in a breath, held it, exhaled. “Gone. But I’m still here. And we haven’t known each other for long.”
But he didn’t feel like Michael was a stranger.
It could have been anyone that found him. But, it was Michael.
He’d hardly met anyone else–well, Peter. And Soleiyu. And he’d been introduced to Michael’s family but that didn’t really count, and they had enough going on, he didn’t want to bother them. Chris and Paris would have been the ones he’d have been most interested in speaking with, but with how things were right now–
If he could get stronger, he could help. If he couldn’t, he’d still try to help. He’d figure out something.
“I know I’ve got a lot of things I have to put together. I know that’s got to be a drain on you. You already had to walk on eggshells for me. Which, I’m grateful for. In case I didn’t say it before. I know that probably wasn’t easy for you. But I had to find out, and I don’t know if I would have taken it better if you’d told me any other way. If you need some space, you can tell me. I do recall I’ve been told I can come on a little strong.”
He didn’t seem uncomfortable like this, it was just a fact. Something someone had said, lifetimes ago, when there were still people to say it.
“You can tell me if you need a break from being around me, too. But I know things are different. I know they’re never going to be the same. But I always wanted to leave things better than when I found them, and I’ve had all this time to let everything get worse. So I’ve got a lot of work to do. I know it’s not going to be the same. It’s not going to be what I remember. I get it. I just want it to be better than it is now. It’s not–I’m not trying to recreate the past.”
Well. Mostly. He wanted things to be as good as they were, better.
“I just want a better future. I have a lot to make up for. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if it’s not trying to fix things.”
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2022 6:00 pm
Maybe, somehow, it wasn’t Alastor that needed the reminder that Michael wasn’t Percy, but Michael himself. Once upon a time, his starseed lived a life that seemed to be important enough to have someone grieving over him for centuries. For Michael? He fought in one pointless war, and now he was fighting in another, more magical one. He liked to think that maybe he made a difference in some of his students' lives, if only to give them someone to talk to if they needed to, but other than that, there wasn’t much for Michael, himself.
But this wasn’t about him. This was about Devyn, about Alastor, and Sessrumnir pressed his lips together to keep himself from saying anything else that might come across as an unnecessary reminder.
“We’ll make sure you get your powers back,” Sessrumnir promised, because there had to be a way. If Alastor had been an Eternal at one point before, it meant that his starseed should be capable of holding that power again.
“And I’ll help for as long as you’d like me to,” he added after a moment, finally glancing up to look at Alastor. “I wasn’t lying when I said it was easy to talk to you when we first met. It still is.”
You’re not Percy, Sessrumnir reminded himself once more. They shared a starseed, but he was his own person. Devyn at least seemed to have accepted that. If only it was that easy to convince himself that his life wasn’t less than the life that came before his own.
Maybe it would be better if he told Devyn he wanted a break from being around him. Maybe then he could figure out if it was his own heart or Percy’s that felt such deep loneliness that he didn’t want to acknowledge, but was brought to the forefront of his thoughts anyway when Devyn showed up. And maybe he was starting to understand why Chris was so against being associated with Serge. Because there was something there between this life and the last that connected them, and he wasn’t sure what was true or not. Maybe it was even only just a Knight thing, since he didn’t meet other Senshi who had a problem with their past lives.
Sessrumnir fell quiet again and looked away from Alastor. He wanted to spend more time with him, help him with his world, have him help with his wonder. But was that really for the best, or was he just fooling himself into an artificial friendship? He couldn’t say there were many jumping to be his friend.
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2022 6:11 pm
The reassurances were nice. He was glad that Michael had such faith in him, but then–he’d had faith that he’d come back, too. He hadn’t doubted anything Devyn had promised. So Devyn wasn’t going to doubt anything he promised.
“I don’t trust easily,” he said after a few seconds. “I tried, when I was younger. But I learned that people have a habit of seeing power and wanting to use it for themselves. Things used to be different on Alastor. I used to have a lot of power.”
He planted his hands on his hips and exhaled. “I mean, a lot. People used to rely on me to make decisions, to solve problems. To start wars, and end them. I used to have a council I could trust. I used to have people to help me make the right decisions. I had a small circle, but I always had someone I could trust.”
Never anyone more than Percy, but he’d had others. He knew how to trust without being madly in love with someone. It was just difficult.
“I’m going to fix Alastor. I’m going to find a way to chase off that Chaos. I’m going to help you clean up Sessrumnir, and I’m going to make sure you know everything about it that I do. I’m going to get frustrated and hit blocks that I don’t know how to overcome. And I’m going to come to you, Sessrumnir, because I don’t think there’s anyone on this planet I trust more than you.”
Maybe not anyone in this universe. Except for Princess.
“I trusted you as soon as I I met you, even without knowing any of this. I didn’t know what you knew, or who you used to be, or what you were responsible for. But you’ve been good to me, and I appreciate that more than I know how to articulate. So if there’s anything you ever need, I hope I’m on the list of people you can count on to help you out. I have on my list–I don’t know if you want to hear this, but my list wasn’t just ‘find Sessrumnir’. I made a promise to Percy that I’d look out for him in every lifetime. Right now you’ve been the one looking out for me. But I intend to do the same for you. And I hope you won’t take offense to that. I don’t know if you even need me around. But.”
He wasn’t really looking at Sessrumnir, like he might have been embarrassed, or didn’t want to deal with any sort of rejection or resistance.
“You’re easy to talk to. I’m just worried I’m going to say the wrong thing. You have his starseed. Maybe I should have known. I trusted you when we first met. I didn’t feel like you were a stranger. I’m still trying to figure all of it out. But I think, even if you hadn’t had his starseed, it might have been the same.”
He didn’t know. He didn’t know any of it. It was all speculation and uncertainty, and there was a part of him that wondered if it was just partly because of his starseed. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything of Percy in him, but–
Was it cruel to look for similarities? Was it unfair?
He wanted to ask a thousand things, but none of it seemed fair. He’d hardly been back at all and Michael had so much he was dealing with already. Devyn had shouldered this for a while, he could do it for a while more.
Even if he felt a bit like just running off some of this extra energy he felt like he was building up.
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2022 6:28 pm
“Yeah, well, Percy was small and probably couldn’t fight very well. I think I’m a bit bigger than he was. And I can hold my own in a fight,” Sessrumnir pointed out, a hint of a smile forming the more Alastor spoke. “He probably didn’t expect to be reborn as someone bigger than you.”
He was trying to keep the conversation light on purpose. Sessrumnir knew that he’d started going down his own rabbit hole of thoughts and existential questionings, but he didn’t need to pull Alastor into it. Not when he was still trying to process a thousand years of being alive.
Sessrumnir was also trying to keep the attention away from the heat that probably colored his cheeks. It was shady under the trees near the reservoir, so maybe it wasn’t that obvious that Alastor’s honesty flustered him a bit. He wasn’t used to someone coming out and expressing how much they trusted him. Much less that they planned on looking out for him.
“I like talking to you,” he admitted, and let out a quiet breath as he allowed himself to be honest again in return. Not that it was all that difficult with Alastor. Even if he knew better. Knew he should try harder to push him away. “I like having you around. I don’t think I would trust others to help you as much as I could. And that’s not to say they wouldn’t do a good job, or wouldn’t actually be better, but…”
Did he already feel protective of Alastor? They’d just met, he reminded himself. They didn’t know each other, other than their identities and that they both trusted each other. Was that enough?
“Maybe once we’re done cleaning up Alastor and Sessrumnir, you can use your experience with power to help fix things here. The White Moon… the Senshi and Knights who live here… we’re fractured. Everyone does their own thing it seems. Sometimes we are able to work together, but so many have different ideas and goals, which is fine… until we need to work together. Might give you more to do if looking out for me becomes too boring. But. I don’t think I’d mind having someone help watch my back. As long as you’d be okay if I watched yours.”
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2022 7:44 pm
He listened again, and it was easy. He didn’t get impatient when Sessrumnir spoke, didn’t feel argumentative. Didn’t feel like he had to watch for microexpressions to figure out if he was telling the truth.
He laughed, softly, but honestly, and this time his smile stayed set in place.
“Of course it’s okay. Feels like there’s a weight off my shoulders. I don’t know who else I could trust here, anyway. Seems like the Senshi get woken up and don’t have any training, and the Knights are just thrust into a role without an explanation.” He knew Michael knew how to fight, Peter had mentioned some of his background.
“I’ll help here,” he promised. “I don’t know what their plan is, but if you tell me yours I’ll help you. If I had my way, I’d take out the Chaos now while it was weak. My mistake was not being able to spot it before it got too large. But I won’t make that mistake again, and I won’t make it here.” He didn’t think he’d ever get bored on Earth, not when there seemed to be so many things going on. So much to do, so much to learn.
“Even if I can’t do anything else, maybe I can find some of the ones that don’t know how to fight and see if I can’t teach them anything to keep them alive. I mean, I think I’ve got enough experience under my belt to do that, at least. And the more competent fighters you have, the better chance you have. Can’t beat an army alone. But you know–I suppose fighting isn’t the only thing you need to keep in mind. Percy could hold his own. He didn’t want to fight, didn’t like violence. But he was crafty and resourceful. And he didn’t need to fight, not when he had me there. And Princess. He might have been proud to be reborn a little taller, though.”
The conversation gave him a good excuse to look at Michael-Sessrumnir and compare it to Percy-Sessrumnir, and though the smile never really left his face, his lips pursed.
“But I have to say, you’re not bigger than me. Doesn’t really even count if I can fit into your clothes. Let me get back up to what I used to be, you’ll see. I just need to spend a little more time in your kitchen, I’ll get back in proper shape.”
And if there was still a difference, he’d just have to find his good boots.
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2022 8:08 pm
Sessrumnir tried holding back a sigh, but didn’t quite manage it and shook his head. “We had a plan, but that went up in flames. We were so sure it would work. That it would be a way to push back against the Negaverse. Their Chaos is different, I think. From what I understand, they’ve already taken over the rest of Earth. That’s why Senshi and Knights only seem to appear in Destiny City -- because it’s the only safe place left for us.”
He didn’t know if that was entirely true. Maybe there were other places that they didn’t hear about. But even in keeping up with social media and mysterious incidents that might be Senshi, Knight, or Negaverse activities, well… if anything it was all Negaverse, although nothing they could prove.
“With that wolf, anyone could be a formidable opponent,” Sessrumnir nodded lightly in agreement. Maybe Percy wasn’t a fighter, but if Princess was there to tear limbs off, and Devyn was there to do his thing, then surely Percy would have no reason to actually get into a fight.
“But I’m definitely bigger than you. My clothes were falling off of you. You might have fit into Peter’s, but he has a weird taste in clothes. I wasn’t going to put you through that,” he gently teased, unable to stop himself from smiling a bit more.
It was just too easy to talk to Devyn. Even joking around didn’t seem forced or like he had to be too careful about what he said. He didn’t want to be rude or insulting, but Devyn didn’t seem upset about the banter.
“I usually work out after school. Lift weights. Go running. That kind of stuff. You can come with me if you want to, you know, get back in proper shape,” he offered, paused, and then added, “Other than raiding my kitchen, I mean.”
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