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 Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 7:28 am
The porch was quiet, with the security and safety of a home at his back, and the great expanse of the open world before him. He had the comfort of what he knew and the space he needed to breathe.
It wasn’t snowing tonight but the air was still cool. He felt a bit warmer than when he’d first arrived but it wasn’t long after he sank into the chair that he started to feel the chill creeping in. Michael’s jacket fended off the worst of it.
There wasn’t anyone else out this late. He could still see some lights in the distance, and while the darkness made him uneasy, there was still something undeniably peaceful about all of this.
Alone, he could breathe. He didn’t have to worry about appearances, he could just process all of this. He could just think about it.
He didn’t know what the best case situation was. There were pros and cons to all of them, maybe. He’d tried to prepare a bit for everything, but now he just felt so spent.
All those weeks—months—building himself up to trying to find Sessrumnir, and then planning what he was going to say when he did find him. He’d known it wouldn’t be Percy but he hadn’t expected that it would be Michael. It still didn’t feel quite real.
And yet, he wasn’t mad about it.
He didn’t have to explain anything, Michael already knew. Not everything, but enough that the task didn’t feel as daunting. A little strange, maybe, but not unbearably so.
Devyn was alone with his thoughts for nearly fifteen minutes before he decided he was ready to go back inside. The fresh air had given him what he needed and he’d calmed down quickly enough, without having to go back to Alastor.
At some point in time, he’d let himself get distracted by the swirling gold in the necklace he held, and when he rose from the chair he was careful not to crush it. It had lasted for so long already and he knew he’d made it to be durable, but it was still something precious to him.
He entered the house quietly and closed the door behind him. To find Michael he needed only follow the light in the office. It looked as if he’d been setting up the room while Devyn was on the porch, and for that Devyn was already appreciative.
He rested against the doorway almost as soon as he saw Michael inside the room.
“Michael. I’ve been so caught up in all of this that I think I’ve neglected to consider how it might have affected you, too. If I’d known you were Sessrumnir, I think I might have taken a different approach to some of our conversations. I hope I haven’t made you uncomfortable.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 9:07 am
Despite preparing for the worst, Michael still found it in himself to be at least a little hopeful that Devyn would maybe decide to stay for the rest of the night, before leaving. He was convinced Devyn would leave, though. Why would he want to stay there? And if he did, it would likely only be because it was convenient. Food and shelter was important, and Michael had every intention of providing that as long as Devyn wanted it.
They didn’t have to talk or even associate with each other. Even as Michael’s chest ached at the thought.
Stop it, he thought to himself, or to his starseed as he rubbed his chest. It was impossible to tell if it was his own feelings, or if it was something else. Since he barely knew Devyn, he was going to blame the latter.
And that was equally annoying because he’d never heard of someone being affected like that before, so how was he supposed to know if it was actually just himself or not. Oh, and that whole thing about saying he wasn’t Devyn’s dead lover.
Was it possible that memories in a starseed could be so strong that they manifested into reality? The only one he could think to ask was Ganymede, but since she was currently missing or worse…
He’d heard the front door shut, and Devyn’s approach to the office. It wasn’t Devyn’s fault. He hadn’t been loud about it -- Michael was just sensitive to sounds sometimes. Especially when he was trying to listen for when Devyn would be coming back inside.
Michael had just finished putting new sheets and blankets on the foldout couch in the office. It wasn’t really an office. More like a library of all the books he either couldn’t fit onto the shelves in his own bedroom, or didn’t consider as important. Some of Peter’s collection had found its way onto the shelves. There was a desk with a computer that Michael did use for organizing work for his classes, but it didn’t seem like he had any urgent need to use it.
It was the same room he’d had Devyn stay in before, although this time he’d hoped he would have had a nightlight for him. Which he put. Somewhere. And now he couldn’t find it.
“Why would I be uncomfortable?” he wondered, purposefully not thinking about being uncomfortable as he glanced briefly up at Devyn, before looking around the room again. Maybe he put it in one of the desk drawers. “You were the one thrown into all of this. I asked Peter and the others not to say anything, by the way. It’s not their fault. I don’t… trust easily. Especially not with my identity.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 9:17 am
Devyn watched him, trying to figure out if he was actually asking or being deliberately obtuse. “It isn’t like you had a say in any of it either. I don’t blame you for being cautious.” He exhaled. “I’m not even mad that you didn’t tell me earlier.”
He couldn’t figure out if he should have been or if he was just tired.
He was going to need more than fifteen minutes to actually figure it out, but for now he’d at least calmed down and could think again.
“I’m confused, and a little overwhelmed, I suppose. This feels like a dream but I know I’m not sleeping.”
Earth had a funny way of making him feel like that.
“I don’t know what I would have done if I were in your shoes. I can’t even imagine.” But then, he was having a hard time processing the reality of what was going on in his own shoes.
But then, Michael was still setting up a room for him. He could have washed his hands of the whole affair now that he’d come clean. He could have told Devyn to leave and asked him not to come back.
Could have.
But Michael had been kind to him since he’d arrived. Maybe it was just the way he was.
Devyn just didn’t want him to be doing it out of some idea of obligation or a guilty conscience.
“All I know right now is that I have a lot of questions, and I think you’re the only one who can answer them. I don’t know where to start.”
He really didn’t know. But it didn’t stop him from trying to start somewhere. “You said you’d help me with my world. Will you let me help you fix up Sessrumnir?”
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 9:30 am
Michael wasn’t sure if Devyn was just saying he wasn’t mad, or if he was just too tired to deal with it. He wouldn’t blame him for being mad. He expected him to be mad. He had every right to be. Michael knew information that he’d been looking for, and he purposefully held it back from him. And in the end, it had been Chris and Paris who had to break the news to Devyn that his husband had been dead for over a thousand years.
“We still don’t know how you’re even here,” Michael admitted as he rummaged through one of the desk drawers, even though he knew he wouldn’t have put the nightlight in there, usually. Maybe he put it there when he wasn’t paying attention, or thought he would have remembered.
“No offense, but you shouldn’t even be alive. I’m going to guess your world didn’t want you to die. I’ve heard of Mauvians coming out of stasis with little or no memory, but being conscious during that whole time…”
Michael stopped himself and shook his head. He couldn’t imagine how difficult it would have been for Devyn to try and survive for hundreds of years, probably most of it on his own. To watch the people around him die and be the only one left. Unless he really thought there were others still living somewhere on his World. Michael wasn’t going to start bringing that up.
“I won’t hide anything else from you, unless I have a very good reason to,” he said after a moment, resigned to the fact that the sooner Devyn got his answers, the sooner he would likely want to leave. Michael didn’t want him feeling trapped there.
As for Sessrumnir, Michael let out another quiet sigh. “I’d probably learn a lot more about Sessrumnir with you there than I would wandering the halls by myself,” he admitted. “I barely even know where to start, other than sweeping up dust and picking up books. So… yes, if you’d like to. I would appreciate the help. Fenrir would probably like seeing you too.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 9:51 am
It was a good theory, at least. Devyn hadn’t really even begun to process why he was still alive, he’d just sort of accepted that he was. It didn’t really even register that he was very much outside of his expected lifespan until Michael said anything, and he blinked for a few seconds.
The good news was that Michael had said he could help. He could go to Sessrumnir. He could see it with his own eyes. Maybe he could figure out what was wrong with the portal there, but–oh, he should probably ask if it was all right. Michael was an engineer–that was sort of like an inventor, wasn’t it?
His mind was spinning again. He probably should have pulled out that list again, but he wasn’t expecting to be adding to it or making amendments so quickly.
Either way, he was alive, and it must have been for some reason. If it was because his world still needed him, that made sense. If it was because he’d promised he wouldn’t rest until it was safe, that made sense, too.
The Core of his world was strong, and it made him strong, too. He’d believe that it had something to do with keeping him alive. He wasn’t good at giving up. Neither was his world.
He wanted to assure Michael that he could tell him everything about Sessrumnir, could show him all the secret passages, could give him lectures about it like Percy used to give him. Although, he didn’t know how much things had changed since he’d been there last, and there was a faint anxiousness about it. But he could go see it. He could help. That was the important part–they could make plans. He had something to look forward to.
Except, there was a shadow of confusion in his mind and on his face.
“Fenrir? I don’t recall that name, who is that?”
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 10:15 am
For someone who was supposed to be so close to Percy, Michael was just as confused by Devyn’s confusion. How could he have not known who Fenrir was? Michael had memories of the wolf, and she always seemed sad when Percy was brought up. He doubted Percy wouldn’t have introduced her to someone as important to him as Devyn.
Unless Devyn wasn’t who he said he was.
“Sessrumnir’s summon. You’ve really never met her before?” he frowned, because that sounded suspicious. But… no, he’d seen Devyn in a memory. So unless he was a doppelgänger with only limited memories between himself and whomever he was copying…
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 10:28 am
Recognition flashed on his face but the confusion remained. “His summon–big, white wolf? Bright eyes and sharp teeth, and a smile that’ll melt your heart? Sure, I know her. But Fenrir, is that what she wants to be called? I’ve always called her Princess. Of course I’ve met her, she’s wonderful. You have her, you found her necklace? I was worried. They weren’t too far apart,” he said, and only now uncurled his fingers from around the necklace he’d taken with him to the porch.
“I was worried someone might have found it and taken her, too. But then, she’s sort of her own defense, isn’t she?”
And Michael knew her. She was still there. Older and more ageless than he was. “Do you think she’ll remember me?”
He suddenly had the urge to ask a flurry of questions that only had speculations for answers, so he bit his tongue and didn’t ask them. He’d know when he saw her, that was the only real way to find out. He’d try to be patient despite the fact that he suddenly wanted to go right now.
But then, he really shouldn’t make a habit of staying on Earth for a few moments and then leaving. And Michael looked tired. He couldn’t ask that of him, not tonight.
He could hope, of course. That there was one person in this universe who he knew, and who knew him. Not through memories seen from someone else’s eyes, though even those faint, little connections were at least something.
“I’m pretty decent at repairs, though. I’ve kept the Hall back home up and running by myself for a while. I don’t know how long,” he admitted, but it seemed like he was at least accepting that it had been a while.
“Haven’t seen anyone up there but I figure it’s too dangerous to travel when the weather’s unpredictable. And the shadows. I try to keep the Hall protected and lit up, just in case anyone’s coming by, but. No luck so far. And Sessrumnir’s probably had worse storms than I’ve had. How’s it doing, how bad is the damage?”
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 1:23 pm
Michael opened his mouth, and then closed it, the confusion still there just as it was for Devyn. What did he mean, is that what she wants to be called?? How was he supposed to ask a giant wolf what she wanted to be called?
“I… guess I never saw her name anywhere. Princess? Really?” he asked with a sigh but then shook his head. It seemed ridiculous to name something like Sessrumnir’s summon Princess.
“But yeah, I found the fang if that’s what you’re asking. Hidden in the desk, unlocked by this ring,” he said, holding up his right hand to show Devyn what looked like an ordinary ring. Michael knew that others wouldn’t be able to see what the ring actually looked like unless he tapped into his powers and became Sessrumnir, but why would he lie about something that Devyn would obviously have to know. Especially since he’d found the ring there, too.
“On Earth, both Sessrumnir and Valhalla are part of a mythology. Valhalla is the more widely known of the two. In that same mythology there’s a wolf named Fenrir, so… it seemed fitting at the time,” Michael shrugged, feeling a little silly for assigning a name to his summon based on mythology from Earth. He had to wonder if Valhalla’s Kyrie was named incorrectly as well.
“We’ll have to see if she remembers you when I apologize for calling her the wrong name,” he decided, giving up on looking for the nightlight for the moment and leaning against his desk instead.
“I’ll admit it’ll be easier to get things fixed up with another set of hands. Thank you. There’s only so much I can do by myself. The structure of the building seems to be in pretty good shape, although I haven’t had much of a chance to venture outside. But the storms have been easing up since the first time I visited. Chris said it was even possible to go outside without getting too wet. Most of the damage is inside. Looks like people tried to loot the place, or maybe just destroy things.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 2:01 pm
Devyn’s lip twitched, the only sign of actual annoyance in any of this. Whatever anger he felt was quickly suppressed, but it was obvious that he still cared very much for Sessrumnir regardless of who was protecting it. It had been important to Percy, of course it was important to him.
He didn’t like the idea of people looting, or worse–destroying. Lost things could be found, recovered. He looked again at the necklace in his hand.
At least the building seemed to be structurally sound. Now, he just wanted to see it more than ever. He could wait. It wasn’t going to go anywhere. No one else was going to loot it, or destroy anything.
“Sessrumnir had a lot of information to pilfer, I suppose. Things that would have been useful if you were trying to lay siege or win a war. Scholarly things.” Things he didn’t always understand, but things he respected, anyway. “A lot of treasures.”
Things people might have seen, and things they might not have. “How are the trees, is the atrium still holding up? And you said the springs are intact? There are a lot of hidden passages. You said you haven’t visited often, have you explored much?”
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 5:28 pm
It was clear to Michael that Sessrumnir was important to Devyn. It was obvious in the way he looked irritated about the Wonder being damaged, and how he asked about it. Asked about specific things that only someone who had been there would know.
There was a certain relief that settled over him, along with the sympathy that he felt for someone who was obviously brought into this after being cut off from everything else for centuries.
“I guess the trees are okay. I haven’t been outside much to check,” he frowned a little at the strange question. He supposed the trees outside of Sessrumnir still counted as being part of the Wonder, but it was a bit of a stretch.
“The one big tree in the atrium is fine enough. It’s not dead, but it hasn’t had any leaves. The irrigation that went through the atrium had been damaged, but I was able to fix that at least.” Both Sessrumnir and Valhalla had similar structures within their Wonders, so it was easy to fix one after figuring out the other.
“But I haven’t seen any shattered glass -- or whatever they used for the windows.” It wasn’t really glass, but it wasn’t stone either. He hadn’t paid close enough attention to figure it out.
“I haven’t explored much, but that’s only because whenever I visit there’s glowing green lights in the floor and walls that seem to lead me to places. I haven’t seen any noticeable damage done to the springs though, no.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2022 5:55 pm
“No, not just any tree outside. I mean, the important ones. You’ve got a few sacred groves up there. Magic should have protected them. In ordinary circumstances.”
But then, these weren’t really ordinary circumstances. And the groves were well hidden.
“But they were special. I’m glad the big one’s all right. That’s my favorite.” It was the most impressive by far, but he knew how important it was, too.
Devyn realized rather quickly how easily it would have been to just go off about everything he knew about Sessrumnir now, but had to again remind himself that he didn’t have to say everything tonight.
“I’m glad the lights are still there. They liked Percy, too. Always had somewhere for him to go. And they were good to me, too. I got us lost in the caves once. We wound up off the map. I’m sure we would have found our way out eventually, but Percy was hurt so we didn’t have time to enjoy it. I suppose it’s good that your brother is in charge of protecting Valhalla now. At least it’s someone you can trust. They’re linked in a lot of ways.”
But he probably already knew that.
Oh, and he’d already started talking about Percy again. He didn’t want to make this awkward for Michael. Maybe it was already awkward. Maybe he should just roll with it.
“Maybe one of these days we can go up and ignore the lights. Unless they’ve got somewhere special to take you. I’d like to see how things are.”
What was the same. What had changed.
He ran his thumb once more over the necklace in his hand. “I left a few things over there. This, too. It wasn’t just an engagement gift, though. You kept it after Ganymede told you what it was.”
Devyn didn’t sound upset by this, just thoughtful. He had a lot to think about tonight, and in general. It was a curiosity, but when he couldn’t understand the big picture, it was easier to focus on the smaller things. “Why?”
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2022 5:53 am
Michael tried not to let his frown get more pronounced, but he certainly hadn’t seen any sacred groves on Sessrumnir. Although, it was a large place and would take weeks, maybe longer, to explore thoroughly.
But it was somewhat reassuring that Devyn knew so much about Sessrumnir. Michael wondered if this was how Chris felt about Valhalla, since Ganymede obviously remembered more about the past than Valhalla did. Getting insight from someone who actually knew what things were and how they worked was something Michael never expected.
He also never expected to be asked about the necklace once he’d given it back.
More flustered than defensive, Michael crossed his arms over his chest, but he forced himself to look at Devyn, despite the heat that rose in his cheeks.
“I didn’t think you were alive,” he answered, a bit more clipped than intended, if only because he’d been caught off guard. He opened his mouth again as he quickly searched for an excuse as to why he kept a piece of jewelry that was apparently not just an engagement gift, but closed it after a moment. He knew it wouldn’t be fair to just throw any answer at Devyn, and he’d promised that he wouldn’t hide anything unless he had a good reason.
Still, it was kind of embarrassing.
“It… called to me,” he said through gritted teeth, because he knew how stupid it sounded. Did it sound stupid? There weren’t many things that called to him, or rather resonated with his starseed. He found his ring that way, his summon. He knew his name and how to get to his Wonder because of something otherworldly speaking to him.
Even now, his heart seemed like it was racing, but he couldn’t tell if it was his heart, or his starseed reacting to the conversation.
“When it was offered to me, it was just a black cloud, but as soon as I touched it, it started turning gold. It felt wrong of me to leave it or refuse it. Not when it felt like my heart would break if I did,” he quickly explained, but he was no longer able to look at Devyn as he spoke.
“I wore it because it was comforting. It kept me grounded when my thoughts were all over the place. And… I don’t know, sometimes I felt like it spoke to me, like another voice I didn’t recognize in my head. Offering encouragement or warnings or-- I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter now,” he ended with a grumble, because he was tired of how warm his face felt.
“So what is it if it’s not just an engagement gift?” he pushed instead, because if he was going to have to tell Devyn all of that, then he could at least know what it was.
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2022 6:14 am
Devyn was quiet while Michael spoke. He didn’t seem to react to any of it, not even the defensiveness, until the end.
And then, when it had all sunk in, he was smiling. It was faint, and in any other light could have just been a trick of the shadows. It was tired, but it was there, and confirmed by the whisper of a laugh that came before he answered.
“It was a promise.”
He rested against the doorframe but held the necklace in his open palm so they could both see it now. The gold swirled steadily inside, and little gold specs seemed to catch the light..
“I gave Percy a lot of gifts. But this one was special. The short answer is that it’s a piece of my world’s Core. It’s a sacred area. Powerful, old magic. Everything that makes my world what it is, makes me what I am, is in that Core. I’m connected to it. But, so was he.”
He wanted to say it was just a shiny bauble and give it back to Michael so he didn’t have to feel bad about it. He wondered if it would have meant more to Michael if it hadn’t had a legacy tethered to it–but Michael said it called to him. His heart felt like it would break if he refused it. It comforted him, it kept him grounded. It protected him.
Like it was supposed to do.
“I gave it to him so he’d always have a piece of me with him. A part of my world to protect him. I wanted him to have something to draw strength from. And,” he sighed, “I gave it to him so we could find each other in the next life. I was supposed to be able to recognize his starseed. It was supposed to feel like home. But,” he shook his head, but something had borrowed his attention, if only briefly.
Maybe there was a reason he’d always felt safe around Michael. He’d trusted him from the beginning.
Maybe it didn’t mean anything. Maybe it did.
“I thought things would be different when we made that promise. I didn’t think I’d still be here. This isn’t mine,” he said, and only now pushed himself away from the door. He crossed the distance between them and held the necklace out again.
“I can’t do anything with it. I have my Core back home. This little piece was his. And it woke up when you touched it, so it’s yours. If you’ll have it.” But then, maybe that wasn’t clear enough. “I’d rather you have it.”
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2022 6:27 am
If anything, Michael expected Devyn to think he was insane. Maybe he would decide at that moment that this was too much and even if Michael shared a starseed with Percy, there were enough differences between them that he didn’t need any more convincing that he should move on. And quickly.
But instead, Devyn seemed relaxed. At least more so than Michael had expected.
He watched the orb in the palm of Devyn’s hand. He knew Devyn was calm, just by the way the specs swirled and sparkled. He knew it was connected to Devyn somehow, so learning that it was a piece of his world’s Core made sense. The closest thing Sessrumnir had to a Core was the Code piece. But he hadn’t found where his was hidden yet. Valhalla’s had put him off from wanting to bother, but the one on the Moon seemed to have its own personality from the piece on Olympus.
When Devyn approached, hand outstretched and offering the orb back to him, Michael hesitated. He could feel the way his heart seemed to skip. From distress? Happiness? He wasn’t sure. He just knew that when he’d handed the necklace to Devyn half an hour earlier, he never expected to see it again.
But now it was being given back to him. Devyn knew he wasn’t Percy. He knew there wasn’t a way to get Percy back, and yet he was still willing to part with something that had belonged to Percy. Michael wanted to take it. He had already been wondering how he was supposed to get any sleep without the steady beat against his chest, or how he was supposed to distract himself when things got too overwhelming.
Michael almost wanted to ask Devyn if he was sure, but he didn’t want to insult him. So he reached out to carefully take the necklace, his fingers brushing against Devyn’s palm as he scooped it up. He didn’t know Devyn, he reminded himself. But he couldn’t help but trust him.
Maybe it was a coincidence, but everything felt like it was in sharper focus now that he had the necklace back, and as he carefully put it around his neck, he glanced over at one of the bookshelves where the nightlight he’d purchased was sitting in plain view.
“I noticed you kept the lights on last time, so I got a smaller light if you wanted to use it. That way you can still see if you wake up, but you should be able to rest easier,” Michael explained as he tried to process what to say in response about the necklace.
In the end, or at least for now, he just mumbled a quiet, “Thank you, Devyn.”
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2022 6:44 am
Devyn knew he’d made the right decision. It felt right.
A part of him might have been sad to part with the necklace, but he still had his memories of it. It hadn’t ever been his. In all the time that it had existed in that form, it had been Percy’s. There was a bitter taste in his mouth any time he thought too much about Percy not being here. It had nothing to do with Michael, it wasn’t his fault and Devyn wasn’t going to resent him because he wasn’t someone else.
The necklace was in good hands.
Was he supposed to be upset that it resonated with Michael? That it recognized his starseed, even in this new form?
That was a slippery slope too, and Devyn wasn’t going to go down that one tonight, either.
Michael was Michael. And Sessrumnir. And not Percy.
And he was still being kind to him and making sure he was fed, and that he wasn’t getting into trouble, and that he had somewhere safe to sleep. He was going out of his way to make sure he was comfortable.
“Thank you for finding it. You shouldn’t have had to trade anything for it, it should have been yours from the beginning, but I guess it found where it was supposed to be. I know it’s in good hands with you. I’m still cross with that Merchant, though.”
Michael had set the room up nicely, and because he’d made the effort to get a smaller light, Devyn would use it. He didn’t mind the brighter lights, it wasn’t like he slept much. It wasn’t usually enjoyable, anyway. He’d spent so long making sure he didn’t get too comfortable while sleeping just to make sure he was ready to wake up quickly.
But, the room looked nice. The smaller light looked nice.
He was tired. Really tired. More so than he had been when he arrived, even if he felt a building energy.
His list of things to do was growing, and he had things to look forward to. Like Princess and Sessrumnir and–
Well, now he had to reassess some of the things already on his list, and figure out what it meant that he’d found Sessrumnir. And it was Michael. And ‘look after Sessrumnir’ was on his list, and he already wanted to look after Michael, too, so.
No, that was a tomorrow thought, too. Thinking too much about all of this made him want to go run around the house real quick and burn off some energy and he knew he didn’t have that much in him right now, anyway.
“I’d like to try the smaller light, thank you. I haven’t slept as well as I did here in a long time. Will you be able to sleep tonight or are you staying up?”
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