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 Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2022 3:57 pm
Monoceros didn't quite know what to do with himself, after Faustite stopped him from... well. It didn't matter, except it did, and he didn't know what to think, all he knew is that, once again, his head hurt and his heart hurt and everything sucked and he was barely keeping it together, the most fragile porcupine ever, putting pieces of these puzzles he was handed over and over again and trying to fit them inside himself where they didn't seem to quite fit. So he took to wandering, until he came across a pretty lovely looking park. Not that most weren't pretty, in DC, but still. This one felt... special, somehow, and he relaxed more here, striding forward at a slower pace, yet more peaceful than before. He liked this. Until he saw the figure at a bench and felt their Order energy. He dropped to the ground with a pathetic whimper. "Don't hurt me," he cried out softly, trembling.
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2022 2:14 am
Kerberos was used to all kinds of reactions from the Negaverse. Hostility, threats, accusations. Occasionally kindness, but he generally expected that as an initial reaction much, much less.
Fear, though? Fear was new, and the whimper made him flinch, hard. Poor thing--he'd clearly had some very bad experiences, and so Kerberos was careful about standing up and moving closer.
"I'm not going to, I promise," he said, gently.
There was something almost familiar about the huddled shape, but it wasn't until he was closer that he recognized--bushy, spiky tail-bow. Blue and brown. Leather skirt. Porcupine quills holding up a bun.
"Monoceros?" Kerberos's voice broke, an edge of despair in his tone. It had been a while since he'd seen his friend, and any length of time between always made him fear the worst. Here it was, before his eyes; confirmation of one of the two worse outcomes. "What happened to you?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2022 2:26 am
Monoceros looked up slowly, eyes prickling with tears. The other Senshi, an Eternal, oh, God—had approached. It took another moment for the words to register in his brain and he flinched back again—another person who recognized him. He couldn't... He didn't know what to do. Everything hurt so much inside. Lies, lies, lies. His heart beat like a horrible echoing drum against his chest, his stomach churning with fear, his emotions utterly haywire. How could he believe what anyone said anymore? "I—I don't know you," he said, answering indirectly, yet hopefully saying all that he needed to with that. "I was—I don't know. I just remember a lot of pain, and ever since, I..." He trailed off, shrugging and sniffling, staying on the ground. He didn't know what to do anymore. This Senshi sanding before him... felt familiar, somehow, but he wanted to crawl away from the sensation. He wanted so badly to just be left alone forever, but life seemed to not want that for him. And he didn't need to lay here and spill his whole life story, especially as pathetic as it was. He laid his head back down in the dirt and hiccuped. He didn't want to die, not anymore, but if it was coming for him anyway, he'd accept it. If this Senshi was anything like that Knight Michel, it was very possible. Everything hurt so much, and he just wanted it to stop. Yet he felt that it wouldn't, not with him constantly running into people who knew him before. Friends, not-friends, all of it. "I don't..." He started and stopped again, suppressing a sob and exhaling harshly into the dirt, some of it sticking to his face from the wetness of his tears. Make it stop. You seem merciful...
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Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2022 11:00 pm
Kerberos knelt down, extending a hand and placing it on Monoceros's shoulder. His touch was gentle, easy to dislodge, but still present. As he did, he passed just a little of his Transcended energy over; it wasn't that Monoceros seemed tired, per se, but if he was breaking down and crying, he probably needed a little bolstering. Kerberos could do that much.
"It's okay," Kerberos said, "I know. Chaos takes a lot, when it takes you. And it sounds like it took you by force." How devastating. Had it been at that awful battle on the hill? Was he one of the casualties of the Negaverse's betrayal, of the way whatever plans Lyndin had come there with had gone awry by their poisonous involvement?
"How about we start over?" His voice was still soft, still gentle. "I'm Kerberos. And I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay, you're safe here."
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Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2022 1:14 am
Monoceros tensed as the hand came down on his shoulder, but relaxed slowly when he realized that nothing bad was going to come of it. The touch was comforting, strangely enough, helping him feel... a bit revitalized. He slowly sat up as the Senshi spoke, rubbing his face and trying to clean it of the dirt and the tears. "Yeah, they said... force was necessary, because I'd been hurt and didn't know what I was talking about," he admitted quietly, face screwing up with disgust. So many lies. Then the Senshi—Kerberos—said his name, and it rang in his ears, setting off a faint memory. Back when he first woke up. Who's Kerberos, Arsenolite had asked before being shushed by Ashanite. Monoceros remembered how he'd committed that name to memory, the dodgy way they'd talked, the way he'd thought that name was important to him, somehow. And the way he'd forgotten all about it so quickly. It came rushing back, a flood, no, a tidal wave of cascading emotions that made him desperate for answers. "Kerberos. Did you really say— Kerberos?" he asked desperately, reaching out suddenly and gripping Kerberos's arm. If he was right—if this was Kerberos, who seemed to know Monoceros—he had the most uncanny feeling this was probably one of the few people he could trust. He desperately wanted that. Someone he could trust. Please.
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Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2022 10:39 pm
Kerberos wrinkled his nose in disgust. The lies Chaos told never failed to make him furious, but he took a breath, and smoothed his expression, lest Monoceros think that Kerberos was upset with him.
It was just...awful, to see someone who had been so thoroughly deceived, taking advantage of the massive memory wipe that forced corruption created.
"Here," Kerberos produced a water bottle from his subspace pocklet--it was always good to have a few on-hand--and set it by Monoceros, and then went to work, tearing off a piece of his outer skirt and offering it as a cloth. "All that dirt on your face is just going to make you feel gross," he said, "and there's no reason to wallow like that."
The grip on his arm made him start, and he blinked, eyes wide.
"You know my name," he said, and that was encouraging. Didn't remember him, but knew his name-- "How?"
Was the Negaverse looking for him? He'd pretty publicly thrown himself against them in that battle on the hill, so it was possible. But something about the way Monoceros was reacting didn't say "hated enemy."
So....what, then? Some fragment of memory that had survived the corruption process? Kerberos barely dared to hope.
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Posted: Tue Feb 22, 2022 12:49 am
Monoceros swallowed heavily, glancing at the bottle and then lowering his intensity, letting go of Kerberos and exhaling slowly. "Sorry, I just..." He sputtered his lips and cracked the bottle open, pouring some water on the cloth he'd been offered and using it to wipe his face clean before he spoke again. Feeling a bit better, he sipped from the bottle and looked back to Kerberos, signs of desperation and longing still in his expression. "When I woke up," he began slowly, licking his lips, "Arsenolite—this guy who said he used to be my brother before I became new... He asked 'who's Kerberos' before getting shut up by Ashanite. I think—God, this is gonna sound really dumb? And like something out of a stupid movie? But..." He cleared his throat, mind racing. "I think I was trying to leave myself some kind of hint. And I remember hearing that name after I woke up, the first thing I heard, and thinking to myself, he sounds important. They're keeping it hush for a reason. Guess I've seen too many bad movies, ha. But it worked. Because you're here, and you're real, and I..." He licked his lips again and then, more smartly, downed some more of the water. "I don't know what to do, right now."
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2022 2:30 am
The story sounded improbable--and yet, Kerberos supposed that he might try to do something like that for himself, if he were at risk of being taken back. Scream the name of someone he trusted (Ganymede, perhaps?) and hope that it somehow stuck in his memories.
He had to keep himself from looking smug, hearing that it was a Negaverse officer who had let the name slip. Sowing the seeds of their own failure, it seemed, and the prospect amused him greatly.
"Well," Kerberos said, "we were friends, before. I was trying to help you learn some stuff about being a Senshi, and all of that." He took a deep breath.
"You don't have to know what you want right now, Monoceros. You have a lot of choices ahead of you. But...you don't have to stay in the Negaverse. There are ways out. I have friends that can help you." Ganymede. Cosmos, though it was maybe a little weird to call a cosmic entity a "friend." Still, she'd helped him often enough.
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Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2022 2:53 pm
Monoceros's eyes watered anew at the statement Kerberos had made about them being friends. Somehow, it felt more true than anything anyone had ever said to him. Maybe because of the bias he already had towards Kerberos, with the name being so important to him. "I wish I could've stayed," he whispered, shutting his eyes. He wished, so hard, that none of this nonsense with the Negaverse had happened. Hearing that he didn't have to stay had him perking up. "What? I can get out?" he asked a bit too loudly, then flinched and looked around, hunkering down. "I don't... Arsenolite's in SpecOps. He's gonna gut me like a fish if I try," he whispered, "We both serve General Ashanite, for pete's sake. I-I-I can't! I... I want to. So badly. I don't want to be... like this anymore."
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2022 11:23 pm
Kerberos nodded. That fear--he recognized it. Knew it well. It had kept him in the Negaverse for months after he'd already decided he wanted to run.
"When I was in the Negaverse," Kerberos said, "there was a General named Schorl who was part of Special Operations--and I was completely sure that if she tried ot run, she would kill me. But I've been out of the Negaverse longer than I was in. Even got face to face with her. And I lived. I'm still here."
He gently squeezed Monoceros's shoulder.
"It doesn't have to be tonight. Take some time. Think. Plan. Don't rush into a big, life-changing decision. But you can get out, and if you do, there will be people to help you."
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2022 11:30 pm
Monoceros inhaled sharply at the squeeze, looking up at Kerberos with big, blinking, wet eyes and a quivering lip. "You... You're amazing," he whispered, swallowing heavily, "I'm glad you were able to get out. I don't know... how I'm gonna..." He took a deep breath and shuddered, ducking his head reflexively for a moment before bringing it back up. "Thank you. I hope I can... G-Get the courage to figure this out. I want it so badly. I-I'm sorry, that I... that we were friends before, and now I'm like this. I wish I could remember you."
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2022 1:09 am
"I had a lot of help," Kerberos said. "A lot of people who reached out and offered me a hand. Just like I'm doing right now. Because no one can do this alone."
He believed that, firmly. Escaping the Negaverse was never something one nobly did all by oneself--it was something fought for, with as many allies as possible.
"And it's not your fault you forgot. Coming and going...it all takes memories, but when you're corrupted by force, it takes all your memories." He stood up, and offered Monoceros a hand, to help him to his feet.
"Step one, I think, is recognizing that you're already brave for even considering it. I believe in you, Monoceros--I believe that you'll be able to free yourself."
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2022 1:39 pm
Monoceros's breath caught in his throat as he stared at up Kerberos, feeling completely overwhelmed with emotion. He wanted—so badly—to hug the other senshi, but he wasn't sure he should, when he... wasn't the person Kerberos had known. Even if a small part of him still was, it was a small part. He'd been so changed, chewed up and spat out... could he count himself as spat out, though, if he wasn't out of the Negaverse yet? ...That was reading too much into a metaphor and he needed to chill. "Thank you. You have no idea how much—well, maybe you do, I mean, how much this means to me is... indescribable. Thank you," he said breathlessly. "I'll—I'll try to find you again. I should go. I'm already kind of in deep s**t right now..."
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2022 9:35 pm
Kerberos nodded. "Go. Don't get caught hanging out with known traitors, that's a pretty dangerous road to walk." He smiled, but it was a grim, tired thing. It would....suck, a lot, if Monoceros got caught with him, and then suffered for it.
"The most important thing," he said, "is that you stay alive. Don't take stupid risks. And stop by again--I'd like to know that you're okay."
It hurt to let Monoceros walk away. He wanted to help him now, to right this grievous wrong now. But you couldn't rush it. He knew that. Even if it made him miserable.
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