|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2022 12:22 pm
Reed knew he had faltered on the dismount of dealing with Hylonome. His first ever choice for anyone — other then — and he hadn’t chosen Hatsya, she’d been handed to him, he’d stolen her, was essentially doing it again with this one, it felt different somehow? For better or worse it was being done, and there was no going back on it. She’d been corrupted on his field and he and Hatsya — as Reed, as Sonia. Had made meals and put them all to bed, and now?
Now needed to make people out of them - because from his point of view - from what little he understood of all that had occurred.
Hylonome had very little in her mind to go off of. Her sphere, her Senshidom, maybe a little outside of that — maybe people she’d met before who’d been of the white moon? Though he hadn’t asked…
Needed her up to speed on the basics of what they were — but more importantly than that — he needed to nurture her into a person. Into, and how he believed that flowers should thrive and grow and — she was stunning — had been brave and fierce…
“I want to touch on this briefly, our handbook, some guidelines for the negaverse. Most importantly though, today? I want you to help me find..you. It’s a shame the trauma that robbed you of your memories from the blast, but we can build something better from this loss. I believe in you Hylonome, it’s why I brought you home, even Hatsya thinks you’re special — and we want to help.” Poured it on, like rain in the desert, a downpour of desire, and all the things he wished to flood her mind with.
He finally had someone to keep whom had no one to be taken from, and he wasn’t about to ******** it up. Not if he could help it.
-------------------------------------------------------
It was her senshi name being used that brought her attention into focus. Even though she was powered down it was technically the only name that she could recall and thus respond to. Her gaze flickered towards Prehnite - no - he was Reed in this form before glancing around the house in which she was supposed to call home now. Hylonome then cast a wary gaze at the book in question before admitting to herself that thumbing through it as she had probably wouldn’t satisfy Reed’s insistence on learning the guidelines. Nimble fingers grasped the book and she moved it into her lap for a moment. Thin lips parted as if she were about to say something in response but then they closed. Her fingers nervously drummed a staccato rhythm on the cover of the book before she ceased the actions.
“I’m not quite sure I understand correctly. You want me to help you find me. How is that possible if I can’t even find myself? I mean I can remember nothing except who I am as this,” and it was with a quick change of appearance that Hylonome now sat before Reed, “I mean you mention it’s the trauma of the blast that I experienced that robbed me of all my memories but how is it that I still remember who I am like this, like Hylonome?”
The anxiety of the situation was surreal. Her breath caught in a hitch before she tried to recall anything of who she had been. Again it was met with little to no success. Instead her eyes caught on the cover of the book: the physicality of the object in her lap. It was just one thing that tethered her to reality. Hatsya & Prehnite were more things. She knew that she owed them at least an effort of fitting in. But what would happen if things didn’t work out? She sighed before bringing her gaze to meet Reed’s eyes. Her expression was one of fragility. If he thought of pouring on honeyed words, flooding her mind, and outright bringing on a deluge of downpours … he would soon learn that flowers under those conditions could wilt and be destroyed.
Her voice was soft now, almost whispering, “I think I understand what it is you wish for but how long are you willing to wait for me to find myself?”
-------------------------------------------------------
Never had Reed been so grateful to have adopted Xyla into his fold - to have a cat handy with which to douse and dim signatures from within his home, because that - the random instances of flashing into power and out of it - blips of giveaways that he would’ve preferred to not have, but couldn’t outright tamp down for fear of...of casting negative aspersions on the whole of all she had…- Ooh, he was sure that powering up would be happening a lot. Would work on curbing the habit of it once he’d helped his new charges ease into themselves as civilians.
“I like to believe that people are fluid, that even if you can’t parse a single piece of who you were outside of Hylonome? That you can find things that spark --- if not memories -- then maybe interest? Smells that you like, colors you favor? Baby steps.” said the words carefully, padded them with something softer than the steel he usually held for others, because she was asking him how long he’d be willing to wait, for patience, for acceptance? Never had he been more blessed to have had Sonia to anchor him in these things.
To have run the wringer of fire with her so he could be tempered enough to have it now, with this one. If he rushed...if he demanded..and hadn’t he seen how terribly those things went? Wasn’t willing to risk it on her.
“I am willing to wait, Hylonome, until the Rift turns to dust itself. Which, that will mean something much more than the words do. Once we catch you up on that little bit of trivia - Ah, when?” the sigh at himself for realizing how much there was to fill. How many gaps lay like vast chasms between them. Between Hylonome and what she wanted, if she wanted? He was only one person though, and would focus on her needs. Simple things to start with. Would branch out once he had more to work with than the basics.
“To touch on what you have retained though...I wonder...if the nature of the magic within the blast, combined with the fact that you were powered up at the time? If that is the thing which saved what little you’ve managed to retain of yourself. There is great power in Senshi magic, especially those who have been inducted into the organization as you have been…” how his hands fell open, became a cocoon, protective little sphere of his thumb. It seemed like a thing that could’ve been possible, for all that he’d have to ask others - for all that he didn’t understand - because the corruption had not been a normal one. No hand in a chest of an enemy felled, no will stripped by the force of another - pure metallia - chaos incarnate that had saturated the very air they’d all breathed, blackness that had flowed over the field and felled so many where they stood.
Brought them into the fold.
He wouldn’t be one to assume willingness, nor lack of will, nor susceptibility, it was all beyond him.
“I think it left you spared where others perished, and with more than some who..well...It was a very messy skirmish.” and it was a hard thing to meet her eyes, to see that fragility laid bare in soft tones and glassy frames that reflected --- so much nothing -- No, not nothing. A loss, a -- tree stripped of bark. Alive, whole, Senshi - stronger than any mere human ever could hope to be. “Lets...shift this to the left, maybe? To something safer. We’re going to be getting you a room. Mizuki is fairly open to anything - so maybe we should start there instead? If you’d like sharing, if you want your own bed or a bunk - if...because the guidebook isn’t going anywhere. You can read it at your leisure, and I can answer any questions you have on what’s within it when you’re ready to ask them.” had plans for a seminar, something brought up by Faustite for all that had befallen them, could drag his whole team there and add to the attendance roster.
-------------------------------------------------------
The idea that it was her senshi magic that might’ve saved what she retained of her memories caused Hylonome to pause before powering down again. She had caught a small flicker of something in Reed’s gaze that might’ve been displeasure at the casualness of her doing so. Was it just something else that she would have to learn about? The book that she had been so carefully drumming her fingers against was then placed aside. Her gaze took in the home in which Reed called his own before she sighed. It was hard to even remember that she had maybe once had a place like this but had since forgotten. Her only outside reaction to this thought was to shrug nonchalantly. It was bewildering to think on things much too deeply and just easier to let others make the harder decisions. Because as much as she tried Hylonome knew that her memories seemed locked away, out of her reach, and probably would remain so. There was nothing to go on - just an empty chasm that, if she were being honest with herself, scared her more than anything.
The conversation shifted to that of sleeping arrangements and while it had never occurred to the young woman that there may be a need to share rooms her nose wrinkled for about a moment before she thought on the question. If a person was open to sharing a room then she should at least attempt to be polite and see if such an arrangement would work. If she chose a bunk bed though, would she have to share that piece of furniture or would she be allowed to have it all to herself in order to use the top as sort of an item refuge?
“Tough choices there. A bunk bed, if not shared, would allow me a place to store things, even if it is a smaller sleeping area as a result. Would that work or is the room in question too small to allow a bunk and another person’s sleeping preference?”
Hylonome took in her appearance and the clothes that she had managed to scrounge. The material felt just a little too restrictive and she glanced towards Reed before a sigh escaped, “I’m feeling like I’m being an ungrateful houseguest when all I’m seemingly doing is bitching about things I’m not completely understanding. I am grateful to know that you won’t be put out by waiting on me to find myself. I am trying, believe me, to remember anything from before - but it just seems like no matter how hard I’m trying - there’s nothing to find. The idea of trying to parse out something from nothing seems daunting.”
The book was once again picked up and she sighed before running a finger along the spine of the cover. There was no author listed but even as that fact registered in her mind there was a tiny spark that maybe, just maybe she could make something out of the nothing that was left behind.
-------------------------------------------------------
There was some reworking of his home to be done, made blatantly obvious in the way she asked – spoke of choices.
*Good*
Reed tried better to show it, on his face, with his body language. If he folded his hands and tried to make his smile less of a thing that felt tired from disuse, because he’d only just noticed how she seemed to soak things in while she fidgeted with bookbindings. Traced blank leather and hardback spines bare of lettering. She’d powered down, and he wanted her to know that was more acceptable ‘here’.
She wanted definitions of her ‘space’, and it was music to his ears. Hope, even. For all the ways it showed promise. She was hardly a wallflower; for all that she had little but black holes and voids in the furthest reaches of her mind. She also seemed to have wants and desires.
Which he approved of to no end.
She liked being powered, maybe because it was familiar? She wanted something of her own, to create space, to have a place to store future personal belongings in. Which meant he’d have to ensure she got personal belongings to put there - which meant….Well, he’d have to better design his guest room to be suitable for two people.
“Maybe a loft bed. It is…..one moment.” Reed squinted at, nothing, cogs that turned as he stood and held up a hand to beg for a moment. Scoured the layout of his living room, ‘ahah’d over rummaging through an end table that produced both pen and journal. Most of which had pages torn for shopping lists, chicken scratch to remember things by, because writing it down was different than typing it into his phone. Every single time.
“A bunk wouldn’t be particularly suitable, would it? Not for two to share top and bottom.” Reed sketched it out. Put in little stilted squares within a square. Made angles for doors, for beds, for – excess room that could hold more. “The guest room is similar to the Master, with the exception of square footage. It could hold you both, if it had two loft beds.” and the flowers he drew to represent the two inhabitants were strangely better.
Like he knew them. Their shapes, and colors. Petals and stamen.
“We could put anything underneath it you’d wish. Sofa, desk, storage? Mizuki won’t always be here..not full time..she splits herself between me and another General entirely. Per Hessonite.” he threw out names like he’d forgotten they wouldn’t have meaning. For all that he wanted to be selfish and keep Mizuki’s time entirely his own, it was enough to know he’d have her there for some of it.
He thought of how reckless of mind she’d proven to be. Abjectly fearless, and he worried immensely. If he could provide her a safehouse to heal and place to store her clothing? Because the Barracks were not for Senshi. However highly they toted them for those in need. He would’ve rather given up the space to put them there, than to do anything else.
“Tsk, stopit, you’re hardly bitching. I should know. I’m a master of such things…You’ll see.” a joke at his own expense, because he whinged on about everything. Found holes to poke in boats, even if it was often only mentally. He couldn’t fault her for being human. For trying so hard that he was afraid she’d tear – a rift – her heart. The Negaverse was not a simple thing. He knew this, held all the scattered little fears close about what it was to make things hard from the start. Told himself he wouldn’t, even as she told him she was ‘trying’.
He only hoped he didn’t make it worse.
“This is–I’d rather you be clear with me? You’re not some cat I dragged in. That spot is filled by Xyla already. So, if you feel like you’re drowning…Step back. If I become overwhelming? With all of this? Tell me.”
The journal stayed, pen and leather set between them. He wondered if it would help for her to have such a thing…if…
”Also, it just registered with me that Sonia should take you shopping…” it hit him that he had a house full of girls and not a single *girl* type thing to his name. Rooms, space, money enough to get by on and he could eek more out from his ‘workplace’ if necessary. With an ask. “We should ask her. After….because sometimes? A distraction can make things a lot less daunting.” he could hand them something, let them go spend it.
Let Sonia work her magic with the rest like she always had for him.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 3:37 am
(takes over to finish bringing the rest over from gdocs)
Hylonome looked over at the sketches that Reed had made of the guest room. These loft beds sounded like a promising addition for what would seemingly be her room. The fact that there had been two beds drawn, from what she saw, meant that there was still going to be a roommate. Blinking Hylonome recalled who Mizuki was from that strange evening when she had come to find herself in Prehnite’s care. Hearing that she had complete freedom to fashion things as she chose was a small blessing. Although she wasn’t sure what sort of items she would want at the moment. Shaking her head softly Hylonome sat back in her chair before sighing.
“I don’t think that my situation at this current moment would be considered ‘drowning’ or ‘overwhelming’ but it is definitely a stressful thing. I mean I think I’m slowly getting used to things and although I react to being called Hylonome I find that increasingly I’m tuning it out, because of overuse. There’s a need for another name for when I’m like this, but I haven’t stumbled on something that just sounds like me.”
Her turquoise eyes locked onto Reed’s face as she admitted this. “I know it’s probably the least of my worries but if I start tuning something like that out, could it not lead to issues further down the road?”
________
“It could — but we won’t let it get that far. You’re astute, aware, even if you’re missing some few pieces of yourself as a whole? You seem to have an innate sense of — well — yourself. Does that….No. I know that makes about as much sense as a cow taking flight — but I’m proud of you for coming this far.” he appreciated any little bit of insight, lacked his own personal alarms for knowing when too much had officially become too much, but Hylonome seemed to have that knowledge built in.
“As long as you can self advocate to some extent? The rest will work out fine, the name will come, I know Sonia will offer up aid, fill the gaps I fail to....I just, I want you to feel at home?” and it was something he’d never had, and now? The urge to offer it up as he took others on, to prove to himself that he could extend some brand of caring to things beyond the scope of his botanical inclined passions.
He could have a team.
They wouldn’t hate him.
He wouldn’t muck it all up or disabuse or —- he could do this one thing right? Couldn’t he?
“So, as we find the things which allow for that — a name, a color, a thing that seems you? Whatever worries crop up for it all. They can be managed.” a tone that offered promise as easily as hope, to her, to himself.
He wanted to mean what he said. He needed to make it work. He would!
“Now, aside from a name — and the basics — if there’s anything else?” He was sure he was exhausting, and that she was tired; recognized all those things as possibilities while he errantly shuffled his little scraped together drawings into an unnecessarily neat pile.
________
For a moment she glanced over the papers that Reed was shuffling together as she struggled to come to grips with the compliments that he had just graced her with. Unexpectedly she was grateful towards him for even taking her in as he had. It was true that her life had been turned upside down because of whatever injury she had sustained during the battle but if the bits and pieces never returned then maybe it was a chance to create a new persona. Something that would better suit her needs. As she glanced around the room and at Reed himself before trying to dissuade herself that there was anything else that she needed. But something itched at the back of her mind and she pursed her lips together. It wouldn’t be a permanent thing but she had been turning the idea of a temporary name over in her head. Clearing her throat she glanced to Reed and spoke almost hesitantly.
“I can’t give a final name yet but at least for the time being I think ‘Jane’ might suffice in the interim. I can always change it at a later date,” in truth she had been borrowing the name of a character that seemed like her from a show she’d caught snippets from. An amnesiac - who couldn’t remember things after being discovered in a duffel bag.
“So for now I guess I’ll answer to Jane when I’m not powered up if that helps at all.”
________
Oh-thank-goodness! A name. Some swirling mix of relief and pride that graced his features, because he didn’t want to stoop to calling her – what? Senshi? Hylonome? Hey you there? Not constantly at least, especially for all the ways he knew it’d grow to be confusing when trying to create a split between one identity and the next, “I think Jane is a wonderful name to start with. Whenever you’re ready to change it?”
If that ‘when’ became an ‘if’ became anything else, it was fine, it simply meant he’d hold off a moment on dredging up the sorts of societal documentation that required forged seals and ID pictures.
“We’ll probably hold off on drafting up the kind of permanent papers that one needs when dealing with everyday matters…all those things involved in achieving true personhood…and until then? It’s very good to finally meet you, Jane. Now–” and Reed was ready as he ever had been for bed, said as much with the way he rubbed his eyes and stifled some less than small yawn. He didn’t want to keep her up longer than necessary, all things considered, it’d been – a very long day.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 3:37 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
