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 Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 7:18 am
It was snowing outside–again–and Devyn didn’t have to be convinced to stay inside this time. He’d been out earlier, for a little too long, and even though he’d been dressed warmly he’d still come home frozen to the bone. Which, really, was just a good excuse to spend another hour in the shower. At one point in time he’d fallen asleep in there, and if he hadn’t immediately started dreaming about being swallowed up in the water he might have napped in there for a little longer.
But, he dragged himself out, and napped again with the hair dryer blowing on him instead.
Peter must have had infinite patience, because he hadn’t come to harass Devyn through any of it, and by the time Devyn made it out he’d even had lunch ready. Devyn was a grateful guest, and there didn’t appear to be anything he wouldn’t eat. Sweet, spicy, bitter; it didn’t matter and nothing slowed him down.
Except for the cold, but just a bit. He was in more borrowed clothes and was entirely comfortable inside, so he only watched the snow from the windows.
He was probably in the kitchen for a second bowl of soup, but because Peter was there, a string of questions had immediately formed in his mind and were already lined up for him to ask.
“Do you use flashlights when cooking? Or do you keep a drawer full of extra things in every room?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 8:18 am
Michael had left earlier that morning, and tasked Peter with keeping an eye on Devyn. No doubt Michael had gone to work on that thing he and Chris and Paris were so focused on trying to complete. Admittedly it would be a relief to not have to worry about the Negaverse showing up whenever they wanted, but he was still worried that they were going to get in over their heads.
He was stirring the pot Michael had left on for them, filled with chicken and rice and probably onions and celery, but they were cut up finely enough that Peter didn't have to worry about picking them out. There were a few lemon slices still floating around on top, but he had one in his mouth to chew on when Devyn came back for more.
"Flashlights…?" he frowned, not sure what he was talking about until he mentioned a drawer full of extra things.
"Oh, that's just the junk drawer. Yeah, it's pretty common to have a drawer or something that's, like, a catch-all for random things," he explained as he tossed what was left of the peel into trash. "Like, stuff that you don't really have a place to put elsewhere, so it's just tossed in for whenever it's needed later. I guess."
He paused and eyed Devyn for a moment, and then glanced at the drawer that he knew held the flashlight, along with the notepad and pens. He didn't really care if Devyn was looking around -- he was allowed to be curious! -- but he didn't know how Michael would feel about it.
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 8:52 am
“Oh,” Devyn said simply. “We might have different definitions of ‘junk’. I have a few drawers of little treasures, though. Things worth keeping but that don’t have a better place. I used to do things with them, but it’s been a while since I had time.”
He clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “Actually, I don’t even remember what I’ve got in there. It’ll be exciting when I get to go through them again. Michael gave me a pair of gloves, and a flashlight, last night. From there,” he said, and nodded to the drawer.
Maybe he could read Peter’s mind, or maybe he was just aware of the implication of asking. “I wasn’t snooping, I’ve been a proper guest. Haven’t gone through anything. Oh, except for the refrigerator, but you said I could.” And, if they were concerned about where their food was going, they would have kicked him out already.
“Should I not ask about your junk drawer?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 9:01 am
"I don't care if you do look around," Peter shrugged, not wanting Devyn to think he was accusing him of anything. "I'm just surprised Michael--"
He stopped himself and looked at the drawer again. He knew better than to ask Michael about the drawer. If he did, Michael might just end up dumping all the medals he kept in there in his heightened stress, only to probably regret it later.
"A lot of things have happened that Michael doesn't like to talk about," Peter finally explained, before he held out his hand for Devyn's empty bowl so he could ladle some more soup out into it.
"He probably should talk about things, but he just shuts down and pushes people away. I'm actually surprised he was so okay with letting you stay here. No offense. He's pretty secretive. Dad says it's just how he copes or something. It's just hard to figure out what's okay to say or what will make him clam up and change the subject. So I'm just surprised he showed you that drawer, but I guess he figured you wouldn't know what everything in there was.
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 12:39 pm
Devyn passed over his bowl as he listened, with more interest than what was probably socially appropriate. It didn’t change anything, though.
“No, I didn’t really know what most of it was. And it was dark.”
But, Devyn was used to the dark.
He tried to recall if Michael had noticeably changed the subject while they were talking. Nothing stood out immensely, but if he’d gotten into the habit of redirecting conversation away from sensitive subjects, it made sense that he might be something of an expert.
Deyvn should have left it at that, but his lips pressed together and he seemed to think more on it.
He didn’t take offense to Michael’s secrecy–although, he did recall that Michael had apologized for giving him a hard time. Not that Devyn had really noticed, but still.
“It seemed like an interesting drawer. But, I suppose I shouldn’t ask him about it,” he deduced, but there was a question in his voice, because he couldn’t ask Michael but maybe he could ask Peter.
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 4:55 pm
Peter could hear the question in Devyn's voice, and he knew he probably shouldn't, but it wasn't like telling Devyn any of this should break the timeline, right? So he stirred the pot again after passing the now refilled bowl back to Devyn, before making a bowl for himself. He went over to the sink to peer out of the window at the snow coming down, and then went over to the drawer in question to pull it open all the way.
But more than that, he fished out the medals and laid them on the counter next to each other. There were a number of them in various colors, and probably the weirdest thing in the drawer. There was some loose change, an old receipt, some scissors, but nothing as remotely personal.
"I think I said before Michael was in the military, right? That's where these came from. Our dad was a pretty high ranking officer in the Navy until a few years ago. He's retired now. Michael was only in the Navy for…" Peter paused to think and took a bite of his soup as he did so.
"Six years? Maybe seven, I'm not sure the exact time. Anyway. Something bad happened and he decided to leave. He started working as a teacher at a high school after that. I went to that high school. Thought it would be a good idea because he seemed like he was getting ready to disappear if he didn't have something tying him here. I think he feels like a burden on others, so tries to exist as little as possible. Or he just likes being alone. Who knows. He certainly wouldn't say one way or another."
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 7:51 pm
With the drawer open, this time in proper lighting, Devyn couldn’t help but look again. He held the bowl close and stirred it with the spoon he had, out of habit more than anything else. He’d have eaten it as it was even if it burned his mouth so curiosity was a good excuse to distract from his appetite.
Peter had said he was in the military, so Devyn nodded without questioning that. He looked at each individual medal but couldn’t decipher what each one meant.
He hadn’t known Michael long enough to know him, but he considered Peter’s words. He had two spoonfuls of the soup before he decided that he didn’t think Michael liked to be alone. Maybe he didn’t mind it, but he couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to be alone.
Devyn had been alone for–a while–and every day had bled into the next. There was no comfort, no peace. Even if he’d had everything he ever wanted, without someone to share that with he still would have been miserable.
Six years was an impressive amount of time to dedicate to any cause, and for that to end in something bad secured a frown on his face.
“He cares about you a lot. You’re very important to him.” Peter probably already knew, but any time he’d spoken to Michael, he always seemed to be thinking about Peter and his well-being.
He didn’t feel guilty hearing about Michael’s circumstances, but he couldn’t quite place what he did feel. “What burden could he be on anyone? He’s been helpful. And kind.” Michael didn’t have to let him stay. And yet, he did. And he let him ask questions. He fed him, let him borrow his clothes, gave him tools to fight off the darkness on his world.
“I like being around him. And you.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 7:58 pm
"Yeah, I know," Peter said with a quiet sigh. "It's why I haven't completely moved out yet. And I think he feels bad that he left to join the Navy when I was still really young, so he wasn't around for when I grew up," he explained, but who knew what Michael really thought about things. He didn't share enough to really know anything. Except that he did care.
"He's…" he paused as he made a face, unsure how he wanted to explain his oldest brother's problems. "He's got his own monsters he's had to deal with. I don't think he sleeps much. Has a lot of nightmares. He was married for a little while. To a Senshi, actually. But he was a lot younger than Michael and I guess it just didn't work out. Michael doesn't do well with loud noises, but I think Caspian wanted a dog. I think Caspian wanted kids too, but again. Loud noises and it would probably stress Michael out too much. He was pretty bad off for a while after they broke up. Wouldn't leave his room. I had to do all the cooking and I promise you I'm not that great. All the cooking now is from Michael," Peter said and then paused.
"For what it's worth, I think he likes being around you, too. But don't tell him I said that."
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 8:03 pm
For a moment, Devyn didn’t answer. It wasn’t because the food was more pressing or interesting, but it was because he needed a few seconds to process what he’d been told. He stirred the soup but didn’t eat any.
The idea that Michael liked Devyn being around was–well, strange. Good, of course! Devyn was happy to hear it. But, strange. He wasn’t even aware that he’d wanted to hear that until Peter said it, and it felt like something tangled in him eased a bit. Devyn was used to being alone, and all the same, used to being unwanted.
He wondered if Michael had woken up last night because the house was too hot or for some other reason.
Devyn didn’t sleep for a lot of reasons. Sometimes, it wasn’t safe. Sometimes, he just couldn’t trust himself.
He looked at the pot on the stove, and because Michael wasn’t here it meant that he’d taken his time to make sure they were fed before he left. The food was good, but that didn’t seem like the right thing to say either. Peter and Michael both obviously cared about each other, so he didn’t think he had to say that, either.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Sounds like he’s had a hard lot in life already. I hope the rest of it is easier for him. For both of you. I’ve never dealt with a breakup, but it sounds like he must have cared a lot for it to hurt him like that.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek and mulled it over, but really–he couldn’t imagine a break up. Not for him, not with Percy. There was nothing but an achy fog when he tried to picture anything.
“I’m overstepping, but. You two have been good to me. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. Percy’s better with people than I am. He always knows what to say. I’m good at doing things, but. He’s sweeter. Kinder. I’ve never found a problem he couldn’t fix. Or someone he didn’t want to help. I think he’d like Michael.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 8:13 pm
Peter thought it was obvious that he liked Devyn being around, so he didn’t feel the need to say it. Unless Devyn seemed like he needed Peter to say it, but he hoped his actions showed how he felt.
He frowned when Devyn brought up Percy, because while Peter wasn’t completely aware of the whole story, he knew enough.
“Percy sounds like a good person,” he said after a moment, using his spoon to stir his own soup. Since it didn’t seem as though they needed the medals out any longer, he took a few moments to sweep them all back into the drawer. Michael wouldn’t even notice that they’d been touched. He rarely acknowledged them, other than actually keeping them.
“You’re a good person too, Devyn. And I hope you find what you’re looking for. And I want you to fix your world.”
He knew he should tell Devyn the truth, but he kept his mouth shut. It wasn’t his place to reveal those secrets. “I’m glad we had the chance to meet, you know. It was pretty worrisome seeing a Senshi powered up in public, but we’ve been very lucky with not running into any Negaverse. Thank goodness Michael can sense that kinda stuff. But yeah, if Michael is ever being a jerk or distant or whatever, he probably just needs some time to breathe.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 8:23 pm
Maybe it was obvious that Devyn wasn’t used to being called a good person, because he paused with the spoon halfway between the bowl and his mouth and paused to look at Peter. Whatever thoughts were rolling through his mind stayed there. At least, for the most part.
He smiled, though. “Thank you. I will fix my world. It’s just a matter of time,” he promised. “And then, if I can help yours, I will. I’m sorry for being out in public. I’ve learned my lesson.” For the most part.
He looked at the empty space on the counter where the medals had been, and felt a strange heaviness in his heart.
He felt like he still had a lot of lessons to learn.
“Is that all he needs?” he asked after a few seconds. “Just time to breathe?”
Not food, not presents? Not someone to sit with him and tell him nice things, or play with his hair?
Oh, but not everyone was Percy. Devyn wasn’t really sure how to comfort other people.
“Does anything else help him feel better?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 8:39 pm
Peter glanced to where Devyn was looking, wondering if maybe he was still curious about the medals. Well, if he wanted to look at them, Peter wasn’t going to stop him. He took a bite of his soup and shrugged.
“I guess. I’ve left him alone and that seems to be enough,” he said, although now that he thought about it, he supposed he could have done more. “He’s… not good about opening up with people. I don’t know how much he actually opened up with Caspian, or if he bothered telling him anything about his past. I mean, I guess he did. I thought Caspian was good for getting him out of his shell, but they would argue about little things that I don’t think mean a lot to others, but mean a lot to Michael, if that makes any sense? Like, I know he was upset he was told his favorite color couldn’t be grey, because no one’s favorite color is grey. And I know I got on him before for not knowing enough about Caspian to get him a meaningful present. I mean, he was going to get him a car, but didn’t know anything about what he’d like. Maybe Michael just wanted someone to give him the time of day or pretend like they cared. Caspian kicked him once, after uh… I confronted him about some stuff I found and he kinda had a panic attack I think, and disappeared for a couple days. Or at least once that I was actually there to see. Maybe more, I don’t know. Michael might be unrelenting against Negas but he wouldn’t have hurt anyone who he cared about--”
Peter stopped suddenly and grimaced because he was definitely just gossiping about his brother when he wasn’t even there to defend himself. But then again, it wasn’t like Devyn was going to be around for much longer, right? Not once he found out the truth of things.
“Uh… Yeah I think just time to breathe.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 9:00 pm
A frown had again settled on Devyn’s face. This, more than most things, was a bit much to take in.
“Perhaps it’s best that they’ve parted ways. I don’t think that’s how a relationship is supposed to be.”
At least, that’s not how they were supposed to be on Alastor, and he hoped that’s not how they were supposed to be, here.
“You know, he apologized for giving me a hard time, but he didn’t have to do that. I don’t think he was being troublesome at all.” Someone must have made an impact on him to make him feel like he’d had to. Or to make him feel like he had to be so guarded in the first place. Either way, it bothered Devyn to think that someone who he cared enough for to marry could have been in any way responsible.
If anything like that had happened between himself and Percy–
He couldn’t imagine it. Couldn’t imagine ever being so mad at Percy that they fought over something as silly as favorite color, or kicked him, or let him disappear for a few days. Imagining Percy doing any of those things was twice as hard.
“I can see why he might be reluctant to open up.” Or to keep important parts of himself hidden. Why would you want to share anything if someone you cared for could just throw it in your face? Could fight with you about it? Could hurt you with it?
“Tell him grey is a perfectly fine color,” he said, because he doubted Michael would want to hear that Peter had shared anything else in this conversation. “If it ever comes up. It’s my favorite color. Like clouds, right before a storm? It’s the most beautiful color I’ve ever seen. And, I’ve seen a lot of colors–and I have very good taste–so I know what I’m talking about.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2022 9:23 pm
“Really?” Peter couldn’t help but stare at Devyn for a few moments, as if trying to decide if he was just making all that up about his favorite color. Someone who was arguably so colorful, at least where his Senshi outfit was concerned, really thought grey was a beautiful color?
Maybe it was. Maybe Michael really wasn’t the only person who liked the color grey. And that was fine! Peter almost wished that he could tell Michael right away if only to make him feel validated, but then that would mean admitting to gossiping about him.
“He must have really felt bad if he apologized. I mean he’s not mean. He pretends to be mean but… Did you know he likes poetry? Probably not. That’s not really something you talk about. He went back to school to take courses about poetry. I think he might write some himself. Or used to. I’ve never seen any, but he has a bunch of books. And his scars? He’ll say they’re from a motorcycle accident, but I don’t ever remember our mom getting upset over him being in an accident. He said it was when I was too young to remember, but I’m pretty sure he’s lying. Not, like, maliciously, but you’re right about him being reluctant to open up, even with his family. Which is why I come back to how I think he thinks he’s a burden on people. He doesn’t want to tell people things about himself that will make them upset or worry or think he’s incapable of doing things.”
Another pause as Peter thought things over and he shook his head. “Oh, wait, not the scars on his face. That’s from a youma. And there’s some scars on his right arm from a youma too. This one is from some debris when a big youma attacked a concert-- er… a big music venue,” Peter explained, lifting a free hand to tap on the scar under his eye. “Mom was so upset and she still brings it up sometimes, so I’m pretty sure she would have mentioned a motorcycle accident a few times, is my point.”
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:30 am
Really, no. Devyn didn’t know any of this about Michael. They’d talked about some things but nothing really so personal, not like this.
He hadn’t thought Michael was mean. He thought he was practical, and he hadn’t depicted any maliciousness. He didn’t think Michael had anything to feel bad about.
There were plenty of reasons to keep secrets on Earth, especially if you had to hide the you were a Senshi, or helping them, apparently. Michael seemed to have a lot of scars, but Devyn thought it must have said enough about him that he kept going back to fight more youma even when they were doing such damage to his body.
“Would anyone lie about their favorite color? I’m very passionate about it, I have a thousand reasons why it’s the best. And I don’t even like storms. But I like their clouds.” But that was neither here nor there, he supposed, and was probably the least important thing he could have said.
Except, talking about it made him think of Percy’s eyes, and he took every opportunity he could to remind himself of Percy.
It shouldn’t have been surprising that Michael was multifaceted; Devyn had thought he was interesting from the moment they’d met. He knew there was more to him than met the eye, he just hadn’t asked.
Hadn’t asked him, at least. But, Peter had an answer for everything, and for that Devyn was grateful.
…And, a bit guilty. It felt like cheating, to ask for such personal information, but he couldn’t help it. Michael’s secrets hardly felt malicious or threatening; they felt like reasonable precautions to keep himself safe. They were the sort of secrets Devyn might have kept. Did keep.
He was sitting on things far worse than poetry and questionable scars.
“Is he afraid that they’ll worry, or is he afraid that he won’t deserve it when they do?” he asked, and had to force himself to have another spoonful so he didn’t worry.
Which was–it was strange.
Devyn didn’t need to worry about Michael, he was an adult, who–
Why was he trying to talk himself out of being concerned for someone? Much less someone who had already worked so hard to make sure he was taken care of, and looked after him, and was helping him find answers he wouldn’t have gotten on his own? Someone who had things to do today and still made sure he and Peter were fed? Who had pulled out an extra sweater to make sure he stayed warm in this weather?
It only seemed fair to worry about someone who was working so hard to look after him.
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