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Arsenolite decided that taking Monoceros out on an energy gathering trip would be a great way to start easing his former brother into being some kind of person again. Going out and doing good things for the Negaverse Monoceros was now a part of might well help him learn how to, for lack of a better word, feel again. Arsenolite hated how Monoceros felt so empty and lifeless, just going along with whatever he was told, always vacant behind the eyes. What he wanted was some color in Monoceros's face, fire in his eyes, even if it was angry, just, something! Anything! His heart felt like it was being torn to pieces, seeing Ceros like this. So. Energy gathering it was. Starseed taking would probably be too much, too soon. Monoceros was nothing like Guinevere, after all, considering that conversation he'd had with Lionel.

Monoceros wasn't sure what he wanted. Right now, he trusted Arsenolite to a degree—there was only so much he could do about that, anyway. Though it was unsettling to a degree, he stayed, because they'd been there when he'd woken up as a shell, devoid of life, just... someone that was nothing. Someone that was nobody. Heh. Nobody. Maybe he should find a Polyphemus. Okay, that was a bad joke, even for him.

He started humming a bit as they walked, something about the cold night air making him feel invigorated and happy. This was nice. They hadn't yet found anybody to take from, but that was okay. They would soon. And maybe seeing the process would soothe his inner turmoil. Being here felt right. Also strange, for reasons he didn't understand, but it was probably the Kerberos thing? But he didn't want to think of that now, not when he was feeling something akin to happiness for the first time since he woke up.

Arsenolite couldn't keep the grin off his face when he noticed the humming, but otherwise outwardly ignored it. He didn't need to scare Monoceros off about it, after all. Especially when there was an Order aura about now. He needed to be somewhat more on guard for that.

Monoceros blinked, then edged slightly behind Arsenolite. What was this guy talking about? Was he one of the people that Arsenolite said had abandoned him? But... those words certainly didn't match up with what he'd been told. The accusations, the look on the strange Knight's face... Was this guy simply that good a liar? He shivered. Man, the White Moon really were awful.

"I don't - Uh, I mean, go away, fiend?" he said meekly, looking to Arsenolite for approval. This man who said he'd been his brother once upon a time. Before they'd had to erase Monoceros's memories in order to save his life.

Arsenolite snorted. "He doesn't remember anything," he informed the Knight gleefully, "So whatever bullshit story you're making up to entice him to come running back into your arms won't work."

And... Monoceros didn't think that sounded all that accurate next to what Michel had just said. But he wasn't sure. He was rarely sure of anything, these days. But had he ever been? If he had, he had no clue.

"Look, I-I don't want any trouble, man," he said quickly, "I don't need whatever weird past I have coming after me again. Just leave me alone. Please." ********, he was scared. So scared. He didn't know what to do, he wasn't sure he could or even should fight... so he hid even more behind Arsenolite, trusting him to and Monoceros again. Even if things felt a bit up in the air right now.

Arsenolite smirked wickedly, staring at Michel with an air of arrogance and triumph. It was clear he'd already won this particular battle, having Monoceros pulled into his side of the war. Even if this Knight kicked his a**, perhaps especially if Michel kicked his a**, Monoceros would still be his. And it would only further cement in Monoceros's mind that Arsenolite and the rest of the Negaverse were truly just tragic heroes saving Monoceros's life. That there was nothing else to it. And maybe, to Arsenolite, there really wasn't. He had his (former, but still) brother with him, now, and practically playdough on a silver platter for him to mold just the way he wanted, just like how he tried when they were younger. But this time, it would work. And it would be the best "******** you" to the stupid freaking White Moon.

Arsenolite took the first punch, stumbling backwards into Monoceros—at least he'd taken the brunt of the hit. Inhaling sharply, he concentrated hard and teleported just behind Michel. He took an arrow from his quiver and clenched it in his fist, bringing the tip down with force to stab it into Michel's shoulder, if he was lucky.

Made the mistake of trusting him? Monoceros really, desperately wanted to know what that meant. But on the other hand, did he, really? Arsenolite had been there, protecting him. It was all he actually knew at this point. He was being kept safe in the Negaverse. They had saved him (or so they said...). There was just so much turmoil. His heart was in pain. What had he really done? What had really happened?

He didn't have much time to think about it, though. The force of the punch and Arsenolite bumping him had him off balance, and then the second hit landed right on him and sent him to the ground, coughing.

"Please don't," he said in a small voice, looking up at Michel through his sudden tears, then seeing Arsenolite behind Michel had Monoceros's eyes widening.

Arsenolite went down hard, shifting as Michel swung his own arrow down back at him, stabbing him open. s**t. God, he was so glad he practiced teleporting so often. Taking a deep breath, he spat in Michel's face and teleported a few feet down the road, rolling into a stand and sprinting off.

Leaving Monoceros behind.

Monoceros had been half sat up on his elbows, watching Arsenolite and Michel fight while frozen in utter terror. This.... this was awful. Why did anyone even want any part of this? For a moment, he could be grateful Arsenolite was protecting him—just for a moment, though. The moment he thought that, Arsenolite was gone.

He was left in the dust, gaping like a fish. But... weren't they supposed to be brothers? Why would Arsenolite just leave him like that? What was happening?

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said fearfully, choking when Michel yanked him up. He was shaking all over and didn't know what to do. Cast a spell? He could. But he didn't want to anger Michel further and get chased down. He knew he wouldn't be faster than Michel; he wasn't athletic. He was chubby and short and he was shaking way too much for him to get any sort of far.

"I don't know that name," he continued as tears sprang to his eyes. "I don't know what I ******** up. I don't—I don't know anything."

He hiccuped and sobbed. "All I know is this guy who claimed to be my brother from another life I know nothing about was there when I woke up for the first time, telling me I forgot all about everything that came before but it would be okay, and he just up and left me, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know who or what to believe."

He choked again, this time on his own cries. "I'm sorry. Whatever past me did, I'm sorry, but I'm not him anymore. If I could fix it, I would. But I don't know anything."

Monoceros flinched at Michel's tone of voice, eyes closed tight and face screwed up in anticipation of getting hurt. He didn't even have the energy to try and cast one of his spells, nor did he really want to, not when this Knight was clearly eager to kill, and Monoceros was at a serious disadvantage.

Then he was dropped, almost gently, to the ground, and he opened his eyes again slowly, turning his face back to look up at Michel as he panted, trying to catch his breath.

Anyone who wants to go keeps a part of themself. The sentence echoed in his mind, and he thought about how he really did know nothing about himself anymore.

Was it true?

Could he trust this guy who'd wanted so desperately not even thirty seconds ago to beat his face in?

"I-I'll keep that in mind," he stuttered, eyes wide, "I... I'm sorry. That you lost someone you care about."

Taken by force. That wasn't right, wasn't fair, what was that about? He... He wanted to ask Arsenolite about it, but the guy had just up and ******** left. If he'd been going for backup, he'd have used his tablet and called.

Friends. In a Court. This all... sounded like something he should remember. Something he should've cared deeply about. But there was only an echo, a ripple of some nebulous emotion he couldn't understand, except that it put a lump back in his throat and he let out a soft sound of distress.

"I'll find her. And I'll tell her. I promise," he said with conviction, even though his voice shook, "Pinkie promise, even."

s**t, now was not the time to be silly, but he couldn't help himself, somehow. Even though Michel was angry... A foreign impulse echoed in his mind, now that the dust was pretty settled.

So he held up a shaking pinkie finger, and gave him a shy smile. This... somehow felt like the most normal thing he'd done. Natural. Like... he was finding a piece of his former self. Instead of living in the shell of a ghost.

Maybe he should follow his impulses more often instead of acting like he was concussed all the time, if it felt this right, somehow.

Metallia's slave? He'd heard about her, by now. He guessed he must have already been laying pretty low, since he didn't know as much as he felt he should by now.

He didn't remember Michel at all, let alone him telling himself to be careful, but... If he did, that meant Michel must have cared about him. Been someone he cared about, too.

Damn, his head hurt. ******** memory loss.

"I'll be careful," he said softly, seriously. "Something's definitely wrong, I just..." He paused. "I can't tell what. I wish I had my memories. But I will find Lysithea. And I won't let myself lose who I am."

Once I can find who I am, he thought to himself. At the very least, he'd do his damndest to not let someone control him. If he could figure out where the lies and truth started and ended with each other.

"Thank you," he murmured.

"I won't," he said softly, giving Michel a gentle smile. He'd find this Lysithea. Figure out what happened.

Maybe get some answers for himself.

He nodded and teleported to Negaspace, finally remembering that Arsenolite had left him and feeling sick. He... he needed to sleep. Yeah. That would help. Then he'd look. He'd keep his promise.