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 Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2021 12:50 pm
The logistics were simple in theory: teleport to the gas station, get down, summon glamour, walk to the address that he had saved in his phone, go to the correct floor, walk down the hallway, find the correct apartment door, knock, see if Yuuri would have him. Humans, he told himself, did this all the time. They dropped in on each other unannounced, announced, they met at locations that weren't their houses, and in all of these affairs, they navigated from starting point to destination. Successfully (usually). A youmafied officer should be able to reach his friend's house, that he visited previously, without making a fiasco out of it.
In practice, he ******** up the logistics. Got to the gas station, donned his glamour prematurely, nearly sprained his ankle trying to get down from the roof onto the propane cages, got yelled at by the attendant for being an irresponsible kid, threatened with the police, and chased off. Then he lost his bearings in the network of alleyways and couldn't climb his way up (damn, humans were weak), so he begged Apple Maps to bail him out, made it three blocks before it finally recalibrated to show him going the wrong direction, backtracked, avoided the gas station then finally righted his trajectory to find the correct apartment complex.
He told himself it was because he hadn't slept in forty hours. He told himself he was a competent officer. That he didn't have a reason to be so worried right now. He told himself and he told himself and he told himself as he waited in the lobby elevator.
He told himself as he walked down the hall. Told himself again when he transposed the apartment digits and knocked on the door of a middle-aged Croatian man's apartment and got yelled at for interrupting his soap-making. Told himself one last time that there was otherwise nothing wrong with him, that half his body wouldn't suddenly dissolve with a facetious little 'time's up!' display when the magic ran out. Told himself he wasn't going to scar his friend when he knocked three times on the front door.
Told himself. Told himself again, while he waited, his finebone hands overlapping one another in the heavy fold of his overcoat.guine an afternoon visitor for yuuri!
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Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2021 4:49 pm
Yuuri almost didn’t get up to answer. He didn’t want to get up. He wasn’t exactly sleeping, but he wasn’t entirely awake either as he stretched out on the couch with the hood of his hoodie pulled up over his head. It kept his ears warmer that way. Not that the apartment was that cold, but he didn’t like the chill he felt.
Maybe it was the way the knock sounded - a bit timid and unsure - that convinced him to roll off of the couch with an ‘oof’ as he bumped into the coffee table and pushed himself up on all fours before he could stand again.
Misha was out doing something with his General. Or rather, the civilian side of his General. Something about helping him understand social media. Lev was at work. Which meant it was just Yuuri and Kisa home, although the homemade roomba sat contentedly in its dock at the moment.
It only took a moment to look through the peephole before quickly unlocking and pulling the door open. He had his arms around Eion’s shoulders and was pulling him into the apartment before he had a chance to escape.
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Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2021 5:27 am
Eion had been leaning against the doorframe as he waited. Had been — Yuuri's arms snaked around him in a flash, and at first, he struggled with parting himself from his friend, but there weren't any open flames to mind. It was then that he allowed himself to be guided inside, and the door was shut quickly enough.
He wanted to hug his friend, but he sensed that wasn't the purpose of touching him. Didn't matter — Eion wrapped his arms around Yuuri's thin waist nonetheless, and tried to find the boy's shoulder in all those miles of hoodie with his face. Let himself snuggle against the bony shoulder of his friend for a moment before he forced himself to let go.
Then he realized that his friend looked. Well.
As his hands slipped off his friend and he straightened up, Eion curled knuckles against his hip, cocked a brow, and asked, "you ok?" Because Yuuri looked more disheveled than usual.
Not that Eion was used to seeing him outside of his senshi uniform, but Yuuri definitely looked — off. And tired. More tired than usual.
And tired was very, very usual.
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Posted: Mon Nov 29, 2021 4:59 pm
Yuuri didn’t know what okay was any more. He felt like he was in his natural state of not-okayness. He’d just gotten used to being not okay that it was normal for him. And he wasn’t going to worry his friend any more than he probably already was, so Yuuri just nodded and compulsively smoothed out the front of his hoodie to give his hands something to do once he was no longer hugging Eion.
“Tea?” he asked, because it was polite to offer something to a guest, and he knew Eion liked tea. And it was easier to talk about than anything else. Like aliens, or friends being blown up, or friends who were absent.
He didn’t bother asking why Eion was there. It didn’t matter as long as he was there. He wanted Eion to show up at random, whether he needed something or not.
Reluctantly, Yuuri pushed the hood of his sweater down. Not because he had anything he wanted to hide. Except maybe the circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, but that wasn’t uncommon either.
“Are you okay?” he ended up asking as he headed towards the kitchen and stovetop with its kettle, even though he wanted to try and give Eion the chance to talk to him without being prompted.
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Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2021 3:47 pm
Eion nodded to the offer of tea. He thought about it — fleetingly — how everyone he visited offered him tea. They offered him tea, when he had realized, from all these visits here and there, that the world was filled with coffee shops. Tea shops were markedly few and far between. That had to mean they liked him. Right?
Eion tensed his jaw. Watched Yuuri start walking for the kitchen, even when he tossed Eion's own question back at him. He had started to follow — it was easy, it was probably what he was supposed to do, and he liked Yuuri's company anyway — but the question gave him pause. He stopped, held up in the strange curve of the apartment, in an in-between space that was both everywhere and nowhere for the open floor plan. He thought about it, because he had to; Yuuri deserved a proper answer.
He stared at his hands, as they thrummed and felt uncharacteristically light. Then he shoved them into his coat pockets as he resumed following Yuuri, his answer now decided.
"I have to be," he answered, as he breeched the kitchen and leaned a hip against the counter. As he folded his arms over his chest. "Fake it or force it." Wasn't sure if it was more for his team, or Yuuri, or Taenite, or himself, but it was the best choice he could've made. Right?
It had to be. He could follow Yuuri's example — could just keep moving. Reject stillness.
"Where's everyone?" Place looked empty, and he was sure Misha would've come bursting out of the ******** attic by now. Maybe through a bathroom wall. And Misha had a brother who lived with them, hadn't he? Eion would've thought he'd met him by now. But the place was all quietude, except for the way the sounds of traffic bled through those bay windows, or how the tea kettle clattered on a burner.
He chewed his lip as he felt something familiar that he couldn't name. Something like nausea, but that wasn't it.guine i should be writing some essays but here i am
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Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2021 5:54 pm
Yuuri understood what Eion said. I have to be resonated with him as well, and he just pressed his lips together in silent acknowledgment.
“Misha is working on something for General Jet-- Oh. I think Misha said his name is Ilian. He plays the piano really well. And apparently has a very nice singing voice. Did you know that? I had no idea until Misha told me,” he explained as he filled the kettle and set it on the stove to heat up. He pulled down a couple mugs as well, and pulled out a clear teapot so they could see the tea mix blossom as it steeped.
“I guess Misha is trying to help him do things on various social media sites. Get his name out there. I think it’s just for fun though, not like a large source of income. Lev is at work. He does modeling. Have you met him? He’s very tall. Very blond. Very Russian. He’s Lieutenant Reidite. I know I’m probably not supposed to let other people know their identities, but I trust you.”
As if that wasn’t obvious.
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Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2021 7:54 pm
Eion listened quietly while Yuuri spoke; it was uncharacteristic of him to be so loose with his words. Both the quantity and quality seemed off to Eion. Perhaps Misha, with his prattling, rubbed off on Yuuri during their time together. But even that seemed suspect; Yuuri would not have abandoned followup to a question like that.
Which meant he was avoiding the answer. If not the answer itself, then something about it.
"Yuuri." Shoved off from the counter with his hip, and Eion approached his friend from where he stood near the stove. Strange thing, he thought, to hear Yuuri ramble. Reminded him, in some ways, of Waru. But their voices had different tonal qualities; Waru could waste his words simply because there was only pleasure to be had in the sound and quality of his voice, and not in his word choice or conversation. But Yuuri — they had very different voices, one a songbird and the other had the bellow of an ox — his voice held different appreciable qualities, but his words, his topic of conversation, was just as well.
Eion reminded himself that he could be wrong — Yuuri might've been feeling chatty. But he also reminded himself that he needed to take more risks.
Told himself it was fine. Told himself he could let go if he felt Yuuri stiffen up and go inert.
So Eion stepped forward, slipped arms about his disappearing friend from behind, and pressed his cheek against the boy's shoulder. His hair had gotten long; without the hood to contain it, strays from the back swept over Eion's face and tickled his skin. "I'm sorry."
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2021 10:55 am
It was true that Yuuri wasn’t the chatty type. Sometimes he felt like talking to those he trusted would actually listen to him, but a lot of times it was to fill the space that someone else might consider an uncomfortable silence. In this case he didn’t know if it was because he wanted Eion to have a distraction while he got everything ready, or if he was really trying to share what he’d learned.
He didn’t flinch or move away when Eion reached around him to hug. Instead, he gently placed his arm over Eion’s to keep him from pulling away.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Yuuri said quietly as he stared down at the stovetop. Yuuri knew that wasn’t true. Misha would have scolded him for not letting Eion tell him why he was sorry. There were several things, but it also meant possibly making his friend uncomfortable when Yuuri had already pushed everything that upset him aside.
It wasn’t worth carrying the weight of grudges when he had so few people he cared about.
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Posted: Sun Dec 19, 2021 2:46 pm
There was no sense in forcing a talk about something that Yuuri didn't want to talk about. Instead, he propped his chin up on Yuuri's shoulder as he watched Yuuri prep tea. Yuuri had methods different than Eion's, and he supposed that his own way was more British, but the tea turned out just as delectable. Lacked the waxy bitterness that Waru called brewed tea whenever that idiot boy tried to make him anything.
"Was trying to overcharge the generator again. Didn't realize it was too late." As he spoke, he watched thin wefts of Yuuri's hair bound along on his breaths. He thought about adding more, then decided that was already too much. He'd been too tired to realize it before he misspoke.
He thought back to when they were draining prior to the skirmish, thought about how long they'd known each other. He now knew no one longer than he'd known Yuuri, for while he met Axinite previously, he didn't know his boss until much later. So he and Yuuri had known each other, had a rocky start, and had been close enough to call each other friends for years.
But how close was close? Were they just friends who kissed?
Back then, when they first met, Yuuri lived with Lauri, much like how he lived with Misha now. Lauri and Misha had very little in common with each other — Lauri was as caustic and terse as Misha was friendly and talkative — but they lived together all the same.
"Remember when Lauri made tea? Half the time, he poured whiskey in it. You ever think about doing that?"
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Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2021 6:47 pm
Yuuri didn't seem to mind that Eion kept his chin on his shoulder. He had to shuffle just a little bit on either side of the stovetop to continue preparing the tea, but he wasn't hindered so much that he needed Eion to actually move away from him.
There were a lot of things Yuuri didn't talk about, whether the topic made him uncomfortable or sad, or just because he didn't like to talk much in the first place. He understood the unfortunate irony that the one thing he felt he was good at was learning new languages. But what use were languages if he didn't bother trying to use them? It had been easier when he lived in Europe, but now it was primarily English.
"I live with two Russians. There's only vodka here," Yuuri said quietly, a hint of a joke in his voice. Like he was trying to make it a joke, but not quite knowing how. But beyond that, he swallowed back the emotion that came with the topic. And he finally gently pulled himself away from Eion so he could finish pouring their tea into the first mugs he could grab from the cabinet.
"I'm glad you're okay," he said instead, because he was glad that Eion survived such a horrible ordeal. They'd been lucky that Taenite had apparently raided Axinite's office for valuables and had one with him that was useful. He supposed he should thank Taenite at some point, but also scold him for going through Axinite's private belongings without permission.
"I don't know what I'd do if you disappeared from my life again," he admitted after a few moments, leaving the mug for Eion to fix as he desired, while Yuuri just picked his up to drink as it was. Well, after it cooled a bit. "It's hot," he warned, because he fully expected Eion to drink it, forgetting that he wasn't on fire at the moment.
And then, "I miss him." It was probably the most he said about Lauri in several months, maybe longer. He couldn't remember what he told Misha about him, other than being the one who owned the warehouse where Misha had commented on it being "sad" that Yuuri lived there alone. Not alone. He had Kisa. Which he brought with him to Misha's apartment.
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Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2021 2:20 pm
"Is that a real thing?" He knew Lauri often drank vodka, when he wasn't drinking whiskey or beer, so he was curious if it was true that Russians only drank vodka. That was real, wasn't it? Eion was sure it was, and Yuuri could confirm it for him.
When Yuuri moved from him, Eion anchored himself against the counter. A hand drummed out an idle rhythm on the countertop while the other looked for something to fiddle with in his jacket pocket. As there was only chapstick, he capped and uncapped it repeatedly. His nerves seldom left him, and he was oft humming with them whenever he was around someone as Eion, but they worsened when Yuuri admitted he was glad for Eion's well-being. He stared out at the wall of windows distant from them as his friend continued.
It was too difficult to admit to his friend that he felt cheated out of death. He was likewise grateful for Taenite's help, and that he could spend more time with Yuuri, but he couldn't reconcile diametrically opposed responses to the same experience. It wasn't that he wanted to die, but that he was tired in a way he couldn't fully explain or understand.
He set the rumination aside in favor of adding some of the thin jam that Misha had offered months ago, when he first visited. After giving the mug a few stirs, he took it up to blow on the tea.
"I do too," he added quietly. Lauri used to let Eion get drunk on his couch while he played video games for his YouTube channel. He was terse, but dependable, and as with many boys that Eion had the pleasure of meeting, he was infatuated with that one in his own way. But Eion back then was too twisted up inside to understand what he was feeling. He supposed it hadn't gotten much better. He wanted to suggest that they look for him; likely they would find nothing, but if they did track down Lauri, there was high chance of finding Schörl, too.
"But I still have you." He took a sip of his tea, and avoided burning himself this time. His attention lingered on it, however. "Got something stupid to ask you."
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2022 1:42 pm
Yuuri nodded slowly in agreement. Eion did still have him, and he still had Eion, and that was enough. The pain of not knowing what happened was there. A resolution would be better than not knowing at all, but until they had answers, Yuuri would just continue to try and live day by day, and do what he could.
Like letting Eion ask questions that he thought might be considered stupid. Although the question about the vodka only resulted in a small shrug, because Yuuri didn't know enough except that they only had vodka there.
"You can ask," he assured him, because Eion was his friend, and he wanted him to be comfortable and know that he had someone to rely on. For a long time, at least until Yuuri met Misha, he thought there was no way he would ever pull himself out of the hole he'd found himself in. Even now, he wasn't pulling himself out as much as it was others draggin him up.
Dwelling on the past wasn't going to make it change. But what could change was how he showed those he cared about how much he appreciated them.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2022 3:09 pm
"Doubt that's a good idea." He didn't know Misha, and would rather avoid him until he could collect appropriate intel that he may ascertain an idea of Misha's character before he asked something like that. To do otherwise would open himself up to character assassination, he thought, or undermining, or any number of deleterious things for how little he understood about stereotypes and other human nuances anymore.
So he slouched against Yuuri's counter, watched him bustle about the dregs in the process of making tea. Yuuri was often so delicate about handling anything, as if any object could break if he gripped it too forcefully. A gentle thing, something unlike the creatures he would find in the Rift. More like one of the cats, but without their teeth, claws, and untoward wiles.
Though Eion doubted Yuuri would enjoy being likened to a Mauvian. Or maybe he would, if he knew that Eion would like to eat one someday —
"Since I'm not dead yet, will you go out with me?" It seemed like the best time to ask, and might be the last time he could ask. The White Moon weren't going to let their win go unpunished.
And what if the punishment involved Yuuri?guine i almost wrote your username as gorbage, sigh
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2022 9:46 am
Yuuri nearly choked on the tea he was trying to sip, and immediately flushed bright red-- which might have also had something to do with swallowing his tea the wrong way. He covered his mouth and coughed, trying to clear his airway so Eion didn't think he was trying to avoid his question-- he wasn't! He just hadn't expected it.
He might have expected something of an intimate nature, given their previous interactions before the whole battle, but Yuuri thought they'd already talked about where they stood when it came to relationships. Maybe it was his own fault that he wasn't able to speak very pointedly. He was envious of those who could, like Aquamarine.
"You know I won't be able to replace all the other--" All the other boys that Eion had shown interest in, those he knew Eion was sleeping with. And that was fine! They'd already established that Yuuri was perfectly okay with him doing that. Encouraged it even. They shared a kiss, and even if it was more than that, Yuuri was okay with it but--
His heart twisted painfully. Memories of those he'd cared about-- loved even. And those who were out of reach that he would never be able to admit-- even if he was physically able to do so.
He'd only gone out with one other, and that had ended… not well. Yuuri had sworn to himself at that point that he would never let himself fall for someone again. And he cared deeply for Eion, so of course his chest felt tight as he looked at him.
"Are you asking… romantically…? I'm not sure that I can… but I didn't mind you kissing me before. If it was like that… or… I mean… Do you ask the others out…? Ah, you don't have to answer that. I don't want you to be exclusive with me… I wouldn't… I doubt I'd be able to satisfy..."
His heart just wasn't in a good place for that responsibility. Strickenized maybe a sign that I should change my name lolol
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2022 5:34 pm
Maybe he shouldn't have —
Chewed his lip while he thought about how to salvage the mess he'd made. He meant to ask Yuuri like it was an activity — go out and do something for the night, blow off some steam, have fun with each other. But Yuuri took it further than that, and Eion was unsure if that implied Yuuri's hopefulness for such a thing, or if this was a worst case scenario for the blushing boy. It wasn't that he opposed it, but it sounded like Yuuri didn't want that kind of pressure.
"Not asking you to replace anyone…" Yuuri couldn't replace anyone, much like how no one could replace Yuuri. Each boy that found his way into Eion's life carved a new niche for himself, Yuuri included, and no boy could hope to compete with another boy in that regard. To give up any of them was itself a travesty, let alone giving up all of them and pressuring Yuuri to fill all those vacant roles.
Felt the surety with which he'd asked crumble with each passing second, and Eion swapped his gaze off of Yuuri. Stared at the floor instead, at the repeating tiles and their clean white grout.
"Don't normally ask anyone out. Feels…" Undeserved was the first word to come to mind, but he let it die at the base of his throat. "Never mind." He pushed himself away from the counter. "If I ask them, it's rare." The details didn't matter.
"Won't push it if you're not sure. We can stick to tea. Chat for a while. Whatever you want." He meant it, even as he felt the haunt of barbed wire about his throat. Swallowed to tell himself the whole affair was imaginary, but it wouldn't leave him be.
Unbeing dead isn't being alive, he reminded himself.
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