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 Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2021 2:11 am
Amsvartnir had quietly asked around, trying to figure out where he could find Kerberos. He hadn't had a chance to visit his Wonder yet, to get his ring, and even so, he was pretty sure he couldn't just send a letter off to Kerberos without knowing him or something. He wasn't sure how all the magic worked yet, he'd pretty much just got here and then dealt immediately with a big battle and aliens and frankly, he just wanted to sleep for like, a month, but he was too jittery. Nothing felt right, and he... he felt so small and worthless right now. He tried not to let it bubble up on him, but the feelings still simmered. He felt like he couldn't do anything right, or anything Knightly, until he had a chance to talk to Kerberos. Sighing, he strolled to the park where Kerberos supposedly hung out, to the north end, and kept an eye out for the shape of a person on the benches. He felt both relief and terror when he finally spotted the other, and took a deep breath to remind himself that he wasn't going to be attacked on sight or anything like that. Not when he wasn't a Negaverse Agent any longer. He was a Knight. Not that he felt like one. "Pardon me," he said, clearing his throat as he came up, "You're Kerberos, right?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2021 12:36 pm
To say that it had been a rough few days was to massively understate things, but Kerberos had to admit, he felt better for everything that had happened. And his homeworld was alight with life--there were the moths and crickets, yes, but simply by waiting out the night, he'd gotten to see a species of butterfly that, like the moths, was bright and aglow.
And surely there would be more. It was a little miracle, and it galvanized him, even in the face of all their losses.
He'd taken his usual seat at his bench, that night, and hoped that someone might come by, because he always hoped--and tonight, his hope was rewarded.
He smiled, broadly.
"Hi, yeah, I'm Kerberos. You're the Squire from that big fight, right? You were with Ganymede?"
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Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2021 1:35 pm
He winced a bit at the mention of Ganymede, but nodded. He wasn't quite sure how to feel about her, after recalling that she'd had some sort of negative look on her face for a moment after he'd purified. It felt quite rotten, and while he was grateful to her for purifying him, that just... didn't sit well. "Yes, I... Uh, you said... You were... ex-Negaverse?" he ventured cautiously, sitting down on the same bench as Kerberos but far enough away he couldn't be touched by simply reaching out. Unless Kerberos had horribly long limbs, but they looked normal enough at the moment, so he figured he was fine.
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Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2021 12:14 am
Kerberos smiled, and nodded. "I am. I spent about a year in the Negaverse; I fought and bled and killed for them. But it...it was bad. It broke me down, turned me into someone I never wanted to be. And I got lucky--there was a Knight, Hvergelmir. She used to meet people here, on this bench, and I was one of the very long list of people she helped get out."
His smile was wan, and sad, and fond. "I made it all the way to Eternal before I got the courage to leave. Good on you for getting out way before that."
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Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2021 12:06 am
Amsvartnir hunched his shoulders a little as he listened to Kerberos's story, biting his lip. "I don't know how I did it," he said softly, turning back to look at Kerberos's face. "I... I just didn't want to kill people. I joined because they promised me food and a warm bed and all that. For a homeless teen, that was everything. The supposed superhero-ness was just a plus. And then I learned what it was really about, and finding someone to help just seemed so hopeless." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, turning enough to sit sideways on the bench with his legs crossed. "And... Obviously, I did, or I wouldn't be here, but... what happens when your past comes back to haunt you? What happens when..." He paused, looking guilty. "The person who helped you... looked upset at doing so? How do you deal with it when your ex threatens to kill you?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2022 12:38 am
Kerberos exhaled. What a sweet kid--it was good luck and good fortune that he'd managed to escape the Negaverse with that intact. He was clearly still himself, and Chaos had never had a chance to burrow far into his heart.
Good.
"I'm glad you were able to get yourself out before they got you too deep," he said, genuinely. "Sunk costs are a b***h." To put it mildly.
Amsvartnir's question made him wince, and he took a breath.
"I....don't know," he admitted, "I still haven't figured that part out. The ex thing, I mean. But I suspect that whatever Royal purified you...if they were upset, it was probably because purification is incredibly draining. It's rough on the person doing it, and on the person being purified. I doubt it had anything to do with you, but I'm not a mind reader, and I can't speak for whoever did it." He sighed.
"But when the past comes back to bite you...I don't know. Sometimes you have to let it, and you have to remember that your ex is--I'm guessing--still in the thrall of Chaos, and Chaos makes you willing to do awful things. They probably see you leaving as a betrayal, and Chaos is taking all the hurt they might feel and turning it into anger. But even in regular life, sometimes you have to leave someone because they're not good for you anymore."
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2022 1:15 pm
Amsvartnir frowned a little, but he didn't pursue the issue of the Royal any further. He hoped it was just exhaustion and nothing he did to Ganymede. He couldn't help but worry a bit, but he still took a deep breath and tried to let the thought go. "Exes suck," he said with feeling, shifting his a** forward on the bench seat a little so he could lean back and drop his head on the table, staring up at the sky. "Cuz, like, yeah, he's... He's happy there. I couldn't ask him to come with me, he wouldn't have come, and would've convinced me to stay. I just...Left. With a note for him. And even if you have to do it because they're toxic, it doesn't make it hurt any less, right? When you still liked them. Maybe loved. I'm not sure I could say..."
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2022 11:15 pm
"I think it's fair," Kerberos said, "to have a lot of feelings tied up in the whole thing. Any breakup is gonna be messy, to some degree, but this kind of breakup....it's a lot worse than just deciding whom gets the Beanie Babies."
He exhaled, unhappily. "But you made the right choice. And maybe, if you give it time, and you reach out to him, he'll see that there's a better answer for him, too. Because as happy as he is in the Negaverse now, it'll always do its best to turn you inside out and eat you alive."
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2022 10:31 pm
He snorted at the mention of Beanie babies, lifting his head back up to smile at Kerberos. "Yeah. I hope so too. Thanks," he said quietly. "Excellent divorce joke, by the way. I can't imagine going through all that and then they're worth nothing later anyway."
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2022 10:43 pm
Kerberos snorted. "Someday, we're gonna hear about the same thing, but with NFTs, and it's gonna be even funnier." Would Amsvartnir know about NFTs? Maybe Kerberos was a little too online. Oh well.
"Anyway," he said, "if you ever need anything--backup in a fight, someone to talk to, whatever--feel free to call me anytime. Stay safe, Amsvartnir."
It was good to see someone else who had escaped. Good to know that there was always hope.
This was what Kerberos wanted out of the war. For each and every person to get to be their best and freest self. Amsvartnir was obviously just starting that journey, but he had a chance to be on that path now, and Kerberos was glad for it beyond words.
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