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Takes place after: Fire and Flings? These are a few -

Ikigai is a Japanese concept referring to something that gives a person a sense of purpose, a reason for living.



The door was locked when Kamacite arrived at Axinite’s office. He knew that Axinite wouldn’t have been expecting him at this hour. It wasn’t around lunch time. In fact, he’d already visited Axinite earlier that day.

He’d brought him a bento box which Yuuri had been very skeptical about why Misha had suggested he start making them for their lunches. But Misha had insisted that it was because they were cute and it had nothing to do with the fact that Yuuri was Asian.

And so, for the past few days he’d been making lunches for himself, and for Misha, and for Axinite, in cute bento boxes that Misha found online somewhere. Along with cute cookie cutters that he could use to make shapes out of fruit or whatever.

As ridiculous as it was, Yuuri had actually enjoyed the challenge of coming up with different foods to put together, and understood a bit more why Axinite baked all the time.

He’d only meant to wait for maybe half an hour, but sitting on the floor outside of Axinite’s office turned into laying on the floor, which turned into falling asleep on the floor as he clutched the box of cookies that Albite had previously taken from Axinite’s office to present to Kamacite as a bribe to… Kamacite still wasn’t sure. He’d been hoping that Axinite had an idea of what to do.



While Axinite preferred to spend most of his time in the Dark Kingdom, and found that days where he had errands to run were always frustrating. He felt like he was missing something, like he was slacking, when he wasn’t powered up during certain hours of the day.

He knew it was a necessity to be out, but it didn’t stop the anxiety that tugged at him the whole time he wasn’t in his office. He had a project he was invested in and he needed to finish planning so he could set things in motion.

When he was finally free of his other tasks, he teleported into his office, a few bags on his arm, and paused. There was an energy signature outside--an Eternal Senshi, which was somewhat odd given how few he saw. Waiting, outside. Still. Unmoving, the entire time Axinite set down his bags behind his desk. No knock on the door, no agitated waiting.

His curiosity was piqued, and he quickly racked his brain to see if he had any appointments he was late for, and when he could come up with nothing he got tired of guessing and crossed the distance between himself and the door. He unlocked it and opened it; his gaze was eye level and he found--nothing.

So, he looked down.

Kamacite was either dead or unconscious, and he could see no blood but still wondered what he was doing here and not in the infirmary, and if he was hurt--

Axinite had crouched immediately and had just put his hand on Kamacite’s shoulder to try and shake him from the clutches of death when he realized he was breathing--and looked fairly peaceful. And looked like he’d been sitting here for a while, and…

“Kamacite,” he said softly, not wanting to startle him. “Yuuri. What are you doing out here?”



Kamacite must have been more tired than he realized to actually doze off as he had. And when he woke, there was nothing startling about the gentle hand on his shoulder, or Axinite’s soft voice.

“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologized as he pushed himself up to sit, because he realized it was probably incredibly rude to just fall asleep outside of someone’s office. He should have requested an appointment or checked back later like a normal person. But his thoughts didn’t let him settle anywhere else. He ended up pacing nervously in his office -- his new office of maybe a week -- expecting someone else to burst in on him with more cookies or requests or whatever else they thought he could offer.

“I came to return these,” he said, which he realized was a pretty lame excuse when he picked up the box of cookies that he’d been clutching, as though it was some rare treasure. Because they were. And he had no idea if they were taken with permission or just taken because people all took what Axinite did for granted.

Sure, he offered them to whoever wanted cookies, because otherwise they would probably go bad, but no one really appreciated the work Axinite put into each batch, or why he took the time to bake.

“Albite took them and gave them to me,” he frowned, still holding the box tighter than necessary.



“Oh,” Axinite said, and accepted the cookies. “Thank you. I suppose I shall have to eat them. Here,” he stood up and extended a hand to help Kamacite up. “You must be working too hard if you’re falling asleep like that, are you sleeping well?”

He suspected that Kamacite was not, but maybe the hallway was just very boring.

“Come in and sit down, relax for a bit. If you have the time to do so, I won’t hold you if you’re busy. But, I actually have something for you, at my desk. Pastries, I know, ‘How surprising’. But, I tried a new recipe. I don’t know if it came out right because it was all in French and I’m quite rusty, but I figured if anyone was going to give me their honest thoughts, it should be you.”



Kamacite opened his mouth to protest, but then shut it and just watched as Axinite took the box of cookies from him. He had given them to him, but really he was just using it as an excuse to talk to Axinite. He didn't actually plan on returning the cookies.

But he couldn't dwell on it for too long, because Axinite was already holding out his hand to help him up. Which he did take and mumbled a quiet thanks and shook his head when asked how he was sleeping well.

Of course he wasn't sleeping well. He was nervous about getting enough energy and starseeds, and worried about whatever was going on with the aliens, of whom he had yet to meet.

Not that he had time to worry about that at the moment, because Axinite was letting him sit down in his office and try out some pastries he'd made.

"I'm not busy," Kamacite said quietly, looking around Axinite as though he could see what pastries he'd made sooner. What Axinite was doing making so many French pastries lately, well, Kamacite suspected it was because of him. Or at least the inspiration.

He let the door shut behind him, before he made his way over to the chair in front of Axinite's desk to sit and twist his hand nervously in his lap.



“Oh, good,” Axinite said, obviously pleased to hear that Kamacite wasn’t busy. “That you’re not busy, not that you aren’t sleeping well. Do you take any supplements? I have some teas that I like, but they’re not for everyone. You might appreciate them.”

But then, Kamacite might also accept them and force himself to drink it even if he didn’t like it just to be polite.

Axinite didn’t push them on him; instead, he set the returned cookies on his desk and moved behind it to extract a plastic box with an array of different pastries.

The canelés were easy to identify, but éclairs had been made into small, similar sized little spheres. There were an uneven amount of each, so he’d obviously either eaten some at home or only brought the best. Similar in size, but a bit elongated and not quite perfectly round, little mini tiramisu donuts, which he was quick to explain, “It doesn’t quite fit with the theme, I know. But I had the rum out and I couldn’t stop. I’m not even sure I should be bringing these in, I went a little overboard. It’s in everything. I made a butter cake with a rum glaze--well. No, the first one is rum soup with a butter cake thrown in, but I brought the other one. It’s a bit less overwhelming. Oh, I don’t know. I shouldn’t have these on my desk. It’s bad, can you smell the rum? It’s all I can smell, it’s saturated my whole house, I think I can still smell it on me. They’re going to think I’m an alcoholic.” He sighed, “But if you get the chance, I’d like it if you can tell me if the recipe is all right.”


None of them smelled obscenely of rum, or even seemed like they would have been unpleasant to taste, but he’d overthought things, as per usual.

He set the box on the edge of the desk, within easy reach but not so close that he was shoving it onto Kamacite. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. And, you don’t have to eat them now. Do you want some coffee? Energy drink? Anything, you know what I have.”

He had noticed the way Kamacite was twisting his hands, and if something was wrong he figured he should at least get him comfortable before he got the bad news.



Kamacite watched Axinite with growing curiosity. They usually sat in relative silence while they ate together. A small reprieve from the hectic world around them. Kamacite was never really uncomfortable with silence, and Axinite seemed to appreciate being able to just breathe. So listening to him almost ramble was… incredibly endearing. So much that Kamacite almost forgot why he was there in the first place.

“I like tea, but I have to be careful otherwise I wake up in the middle of the night. And then I can’t get back to sleep,” he admitted, although he hoped that didn’t deter Axinite from suggesting things for him. He was willing to try, especially since he trusted Axinite to have his best interest at heart. He could only name a few that he could honestly say he trusted to actually care about what happened to him.

He glanced curiously at the box of pastries, his eyes lighting up at the sight. He might not eat a lot but he did have a fondness for pastries. Kamacite breathed in, enjoying the smell even if he hadn’t tasted anything yet. The rum wasn’t too powerful, and he shook his head to make sure Axinite didn’t worry about it too much.

“It all smells very good. It’s almost like walking into a bakery in France,” he admitted, although the setting was obviously not a cute little bake shop.

Curiously, because he couldn’t stop himself, he picked up a piece of the butter cake to take a bite, and then he seemed to remember Axinite’s offer. “Oh, coffee please,” he said because really it was the best way to enjoy these pastries.

“This is. Really good,” he said quietly, holding his free hand over his mouth to be polite while still also kind of being rude for talking before he swallowed completely. “You really have a talent, and-- Have you ever thought about opening your own bakery? Oh, I mean. I’m sure it would take up a lot of time. But even if you just made everything and had someone else sell it--”

But Kamacite stopped himself, as though he already suspected he knew what Axinite’s answer would be. It probably wouldn’t be very beneficial to the Negaverse to open up a bakery when he could be working at the Social Security office.

Kamacite felt his heart sink a little, even without Axinite answering. Instead he just watched Axinite with sad eyes for a moment, and then made sure to finish the rest of the piece of cake he was holding before deciding what to try next.

Kamacite absently picked at the pastries on display, trying a little piece of this, and a little piece of that. Really, he couldn’t help himself even though he was still patiently waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. He didn’t think he had a sweet tooth, but when it came to desserts like these, he felt as though maybe he liked them too much.

He watched Axinite’s back as he worked on the coffee, listened to him as he spoke. It was almost surprising to hear Axinite talk about himself with such little confidence. Almost, but he’d been around Axinite more regularly so it was easier to pick up on the fact that Axinite had a very poor opinion of himself.

Had it just been the loss of his team? Did he lose confidence in himself then? Or was he always like this? Part of him wondered what Axinite was like when he ran the Special Ops team. Another part of him was already endeared to this somewhat awkward, sort of self-deprecating General King.

“I think you should cut down your hours,” he said, and immediately felt his cheeks flush. “I-- I know you weren’t asking for my opinion, but. You work so hard already. “Is there anyone there… a co-worker that you could recruit? Or someone already in the ranks that could obtain a job there? You shouldn’t be the only one working there, anyway,” Kamacite insisted, although his voice was quiet enough that maybe it wasn’t as insistent as he could have been.

“It’s… to spread out the risk of something happening,” he tried to explain, almost desperate to convince Axinite that he needed to stop pushing himself so hard. “If something happened to you, or if you were called away on duty. We wouldn’t want that responsibility resting on just one person.”

Kamacite opened his mouth, and then shut it as he stared at Axinite's back as he prepared their coffee. He had a pastry in his hand still, just a small bite had been nibbled off before he'd turned his full attention to Axinite.

It was such a small, casual statement that made such a huge impact.

There weren't many people Kamacite would have considered his friend, and even less who considered him a friend. Part of that was because he knew he was too awkward and skittish to tolerate. It had taken years for a friendship to develop with Faustite, and even then it had its ups and downs. Roselite and Misha were easier, but that was because of their nature he suspected.

Knowing that Axinite thought of him as a friend was almost overwhelming, because he didn't know if he was good enough to be Axinite's friend.

But he wanted to be his friend.

"Sugar and milk, please," he said, trying not to choke on the words. His eyes felt hot, which was stupid. This wasn't something to get emotional over, and yet here he was, trying not to cry.

"Then… my opinion is that you should definitely cut down your hours. And… if you ever need someone to talk to about other major life changes, I would be more than happy to listen and try to help," Kamacite said, his voice still quiet if only because he was trying to keep it steady. "And if you don’t mind… I'd like to come to you for help to discuss those things, too.”

Kamacite quietly thanked Axinite when the coffee was placed on the desk, and he reached out with his free hand to carefully draw it closer to him. Anything, Axinite had reiterated. He'd already told Kamacite before that he could go to him, and here he was telling him again. He pressed his lips together as though debating if he actually wanted to say anything, or if this was enough. If just being around Axinite was enough to calm him to the point where he could face whatever unknown there was on his own.

"Another Senshi, Sailor Albite, wants me to--" Kamacite paused, looking from the pastry in one hand, to the cup of coffee in the other, to the box of cookies he'd brought back that had been used to bribe him, or something. He tried to remember exactly what Albite said, because maybe there was some confusion on his own part, which happened rarely, but still happened from time to time. This was what brought him to Axinite's office in the first place, so he should at least say something, right?

"Tomorrow evening, he wants me to try him out. He says we'll have a good time. That he can show me that he's worth the time if I give him half the chance--"

Kamacite paused and let out a shaky breath and shook his head, as though trying to get his own thoughts in order. "I am not sure what he expects from me, but--"

Ah, words were difficult. Even with Axinite telling him how he considered him his friend, Kamacite was afraid of sounding like he was overreacting. Maybe he was. Maybe Albite meant what he said completely innocently and he just… wanted to talk more. But without knowing for certain, and with also knowing Albite's implied reputation, Kamacite felt like he was already being backed into a corner he couldn't escape from.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, feeling stupid. His cheeks were flushed and he hadn't lifted his eyes from the coffee mug yet. "I… might think too deeply about things. I… should have asked his intentions but…"

He was afraid already. He cursed his need to be polite, to not say no. And he knew if he ended up in a situation that he didn't want to be in, he wouldn't be able to easily excuse himself. But maybe that was just his own weakness that he needed to figure out.

He finally looked from the coffee mug to Axinite in surprise. He was grateful, and felt a bit of relief that Axinite would give him that option. But he was also realistic about it.

“Thank you. That’s very kind,” he said quietly, and he tried not to let the emotion seep too heavily into his voice. Being Axinite’s friend was one thing, but for him to offer to use him as an excuse to escape uncomfortable situations wasn’t something Kamacite had expected.

“You’re not always here, though,” he pointed out, even if his words were quiet, in a way that meant he was hoping he wouldn’t offend with the reminder. Axinite had a job outside of being a General King. He had time he took to himself to destress by baking. He spent time checking on others. Kamacite couldn’t possibly expect him to always be there, in his office, whenever he needed him. It was impractical, and Kamacite wouldn’t want Axinite to stay there.

“Although I suppose if you had less hours at work,” Kamacite gently countered his own comment, perhaps as a means to encourage Axinite to follow through with working fewer hours at the Social Security office. “You could spend that time resting.”

Kamacite couldn’t help but stare at Axinite for a long moment. Not because he’d said anything wrong, but his laughter was so nice to hear. It was good to know that Axinite could still laugh a little, even if it was just done for politeness.

“Thank you,” he said again, with nothing but sincerity in his gratitude. He was grateful that Axinite was offering solutions for his problems. He didn’t have to dread the worst of situations if he could just have Axinite save him under the guise of ordering him to do something.

“Perhaps you ran out of butter?” he suggested as an excuse. Because it was obviously important to have plenty of butter on hand when making pastries. “Or rum,” he added, but there was the smallest twitch in the corner of his lip that meant he was only teasing. “These are all delicious. I feel better talking to you. Thank you, Justice,” he said, and then made a concerned face.

“Is that okay…? If that’s too impolite-- I wouldn’t in front of anyone else,” he tried to quickly explain himself, knowing that he might have gotten too used to being familiar with Axinite, but they were friends, so it was okay, right? “You can call me Yuuri,” he added, figuring that would be the next question to come up.

Just because Kamacite didn’t often talk a lot didn’t mean he didn’t like to listen. It also didn’t mean that he didn’t like to talk to his friends. Axinite made it easy for him to feel comfortable, and Kamacite couldn’t help but feel guilty for thinking that Axinite had been placed at an unreachable level until very recently.

Kamacite had been in the Negaverse for a while now, and he wished he hadn’t been such a coward when it came to approaching people. It took Justice showing up at Misha’s apartment for Kamacite to realize that Axinite was human.

“Thank you, Justice,” he said again, and then hesitated, again not sure if he was pushing things. “I would like to get to know you more. I… I like cleaning. That probably sounds weird. I mean, I find it relaxing. And I know you do a lot of baking so you probably have little time to clean up in between, so. If you wanted. I could maybe learn how to bake some things, and I can wash the mixing bowls in exchange?”

He tried fighting the flush that colored his cheeks, but he couldn’t quite manage it. It wasn’t every day that he asked to go to someone else’s place, much less ask to clean their pots and pans and bakeware.

"When I was younger, I tried making mille feuilles by myself. It didn't turn out very well. I wouldn't mind trying again," he said, feeling much more relaxed than he had when he decided to camp out in front of Axinite's office. "Have you ever tried chouquettes before? I used to pick off the sugar crystals."

He paused, realizing he could probably be better at explaining himself or actually saying that he wouldn't mind trying to make those things with Axinite, but he also was afraid of being a burden. Even if it seemed as though Axinite didn't mind, or was even looking forward to it.

"But yes, I would like that very much, Justice," he said with a small twitch of his lips, before he frowned again. "I should probably figure out what to do about meeting with Albite," he sighed, the tension slowly seeping into his posture again. "Thank you for talking to me. I'm sorry if I worried you." He knew it was probably alarming to come back to find him asleep in front of his office door, but for Kamacite, it had been worth the wait.

"And… can I keep the cookies?" he asked, feeling a bit sheepish about it. "I didn't… didn't actually want to give them back. They're very good," he mumbled, looking at the whole set of pastries in front of him as well, and remembered to take a sip of the coffee he'd been given.

"Or… if you're not too busy. Could I stay here while you worked? I'll be quiet, I just. Want to get away from my-- um… office. For a bit." Since the location had been compromised. Although he supposed that was the point of having an office.

"It would be easier if more Eternals were around more often. I know they're probably busy with missions--" Or missing in action, or purified, or dead… "--but it's exhausting being expected to know what I'm doing, just because I have these wings." Which weren't even that noticeable under his robes.