Welcome to Gaia! ::

Compared to Velencians, humans were like mice -- not in terms of intellectual ability, but in terms of how fast their lives were. Available data on humanity collected centuries ago depicted a species with a short lifespan, often less than 100 of their years, and a quick reproduction rate. They became biologically mature in less than 20 years!

Caelyna and Fae-Fae had gotten to talking about this while fulfilling their base camp building duties. And the question they both had was: in a thousand years, could they have evolved?

A population analysis was necessary. They decided to go out and passively observe, while discreetly scanning, as many humans as their 14-hour limit would allow.

Now they stood in the thick of the city, trying to become accustomed to the environment while considering their next move. It was full of sights and sounds and, most distractingly, smells. Occasionally a rancid odor beyond description, and with no discernable source, would waft through the air. It was an aggravating mystery they had no time to investigate. Fae-Fae hoped someone in the Vanguard would figure out what it was, maybe then they could help the humans eliminate it.

She had gotten a little bit more adept with reading than their translator made possible since starting writing lessons with Sailor Albireo, so she was on navigation duty, rifling through maps and guidebooks that had been donated by representatives of Order. Albireo had gifted her with a traditional human pen, which was primitive but endearing -- especially the little click! it made whenever it was activated and deactivated. Her eyes brightened a bit when she found an excuse to activate it again, circling an area of interest and holding it up for Caelyna to see: "Eastcourt Shopping Mall."

The translators couldn't make any sense of that name, but it was a large building.

With her other hand, she discreetly sent a message to Caelyna's ComTech that said:

Fae-Fae bore a masculine appearance, with a little plume of blue hair on an otherwise bald head and a checkered bowtie. She'd enjoyed the customization process -- and the prospect of having a disguise -- a bit more than Caelyna. There was just something thrilling about being indistinguishable from a real human!

When they entered the mall, some things about the space felt familiar. The air temperature was obviously being controlled, for one. Next, there were rows of trees and plants dividing the walkways before them. They didn't seem to be bearing any edible fruit, but it was still oddly similar to the agricultural districts of Velencya.

As Fae-Fae looked around, she noted the escalators and elevators visible in the distance. There were a variety of ways to move up and down through this tiered enclosure. And where there were stairs, there were also ramps. She watched as a couple of wheelchair users rolled down a ramp, to an elevator, and up to the second floor. Pointing this out to Caelyna, she said:




She took a minute to take some pictures of her observations before turning her attention to the map of the "mall" right near the entrance. Besides the long list of gibberish space-names and lack of interactive features, it was impressively simple to read. They had their pick of places to go, and plenty of people to scan.

The scent coming from the "Auntie Anne's" cart was unlike anything Fae-Fae had smelled back home. It smelled so incomplete nutritionally, and yet oddly enticing at the same time. She peered at the menu, rellieved to see that there were pictures of most of the items listed there - it immediately gave some explanation of what a "pretzel" was. The "pretzel bites" and "dipping sauce," however, were still confusing.

Nonetheless, she nodded at Caelyna's suggestion to try some:




She was excited to witness her friend make one of Velencya's first attempts at immersion in human culture. It was so bold of her to try!

Fae-Fae, watched, enraptured, as Caelyna boldly and expertly navigated through the steps of the commerce ritual. Her fists were clenched up near her shoulders, and a fierce look of anticipation dominated her freckly face while she discreetly recorded the whole scene. This was one of many historical firsts the Vanguard had the privilege of creating on Earth -- a successful participation in an aspect of their primitive culture! She cheered and clapped when her comrade returned triumphant.

To any onlooker, she looked like someone who was just really excited to get some cinnamon sugar pretzel bites.

Everything was scanned immediately. However, Fae-Fae's bright expression dimmed to confusion, with a tinge of disgust, as she looked at the preliminary results. It explained the strangeness of the smell, at least: this food was highly nutritionally imbalanced. The lemonade had more sugars than she could consume in a week! Was it really normal to eat and drink such things?

She took a precautionary sip, and immediately clapped a hand over her mouth and gagged. Merciful Cosmos, this was the most vile liquid she had ever tasted! Machine lubricant would be better.

The little paper tray of pretzel bites were regarded with a suspicious and nauseated eye. Those were coated in sugar as well. She decided to see what Caelyna thought of them before trying one.

As she watched Caelyna take one pretzel bite... then a second... and a third, Fae-Fae's curiosity started to come out of hiding. Even with the taste of that blue lemonade still on her tongue, and no significant nutritional value anywhere in sight, her companion was still popping them in her mouth one by one. It was honestly a bit disturbing to witness. Did the little dough balls have some ingredient that wasn't showing up in the scan? Worse yet, could it be an addictive substance? What if Caelyna could never stop eating them?

Just to be sure, Fae-Fae scanned the bites three more times. Each time, though, nothing alarming showed up... just carbohydrates, salt, sugar, fats, and a few other items that didn't raise any concern.

She stared at them for another minute before slowly reaching into the tray and picking one up. Anxiety built up inside her as her hand mechanically lifted it up to her lips. As Caelyna popped down her portion with relative ease, Fae-Fae struggled to start with just one. Eventually, though, her teeth shaved off the absolute smallest flake of dough she could manage, which she reluctantly allowed to enter her mouth.

And her taste buds utterly exploded.

Her eyes widened as far as they could go as she tried to understand what was going on. Her nutrition-oriented sense of taste couldn't make any sense of it. Usually she could mentally list out all of the nutrients she was getting through taste, but here something else was happening from this first taste of Earth food. Something...

As Caelyna put it, something incredibly strange.

She pressed her fist against the side of her head as her mind went into overdrive trying to understand what this bizarre arrangement of tastes was doing to it. It wasn't informative, but it also wasn't meaningless. Fae-Fae felt a huge gap in her mind where understanding would belong. It was as confusing as the decorated notebook from Sailor Albireo. She said:

Fae-Fae laughed a little bit when she saw Caelyna blush.

Fae-Fae laughed a little more, but didn't say anything else. Still, it was fascinating to learn that the human pleasure-food could have such a strong impact on a Velencian. This "mall" and the planet hosting it was a place full of strange temptations. They would have to be careful to ensure those temptations wouldn't impact the mission.

With that in mind, she elected to eat her own pretzel bites quickly. Letting them go to waste was out of the question, but she didn't dare spend more time with them than necessary. So she popped them in one after another, doing her best to make sure she tasted as little of each bite as she possibly could. They weren't even properly filling -- the space in her stomach felt occupied and empty at the same time.

However, she definitely couldn't handle the drink. Not if she wanted her body to function normally. She elected to leave it on one of the tables that some other drinks had been left on, confident that someone else would pick it up. That's how it worked, right?

The details of the map were still pretty fresh in her mind, but the human traffic was more informative than the nonsensical names. Like following an ant trail to their mound, she let the stream of activity follow her eye to a dark-colored and cramped-looking station in the mall. She pointed at it for Caelyna's consideration. The entrance was labeled Hot Topic.

Which, once again, made no sense.

When they entered the shop, there certainly didn't seem to be any kind of academic conversation taking place. Instead the humans were bumbling around each other in the station's narrow aisles, surveying a more bizarre selection of items than Fae-Fae could possibly have imagined. They were obviously clothes... but...

Some of the items looked like the humans were attempting to actively destroy the purpose clothing was supposed to serve. Fae-Fae gaped in confusion and horror as she saw one of them proudly select a pair of shoes that looked specifically designed to break ankles.

She gave Caelyna a distressed look, and wondered,