Welcome to Gaia! ::

“Ah,” the man reached out a hand to stop the door from closing, and gave a patient, albeit strained smile. He was holding a cake box carefully in one hand, as though it were precious goods.

“Yuuri,” he said. “I should have called before I came over, I’m sorry. I don’t need to stay long. I was worried about you.”

And, because it was unfair that he should know Yuuri but not introduce himself, he drew his hand away from the door. “My name is Justice, I’ve just had a talk with some of your associates earlier. I understand you didn’t join the meeting. But, I’ve finished the report they turned in. I wanted to check up on you. I’ve made you something. It’s not much, ah,” as if he needed to bribe Yuuri to be let in, he opened the cake box.

Because, where cookies and scones wouldn’t suffice, there was gâteau St.Honoré. Because there were days when mixing cookie dough wasn’t enough.

And, today was that day, and he’d needed to make something to consume all of his thoughts. The cake he’d brought had done its job, and he’d meticulously decorated it.

Axinite was, of course, the only one who thought baked goods were apparently a requirement at all social interactions, but he didn’t know how much more he needed to say about who he actually was while he stood out here.

He closed the box and asked, “May I come in for a moment?”

“Yuuri, please,” Justice said as he stepped into the room; he stood by the door and didn’t presume to invite himself to have a seat. “You don’t need to apologize for anything. I’m not here because you’re in trouble. I’m here because I’m worried about you.”

He didn’t miss the bandages on his arm, or the way he was trying to hide them.

The gesture said more than words could.

“Don’t worry about the meeting. Really,” he insisted. “It’s better off this way. I’m sorry to disturb you,” he said, and while he took note of the shaggy hair and pajamas he didn’t seem to think anything of them.

“This,” he waved his hand vaguely, “job is very stressful. And it takes its toll most when you have responsibilities and people to look after. And I just wanted to make sure that you were being looked after. How are you doing, Yuuri? I mean, really. It’s not a trick question, there’s no wrong answer.”

“Thank you,” Justice said, and he sat down in a chair that gave him some distance from Yuuri--as if he thought he himself was stealing the air from around him. “I really don’t mean to impose. Your offer is incredibly generous, though. And, it smells delicious. I am only human,” he said, because sometimes he really did think people forgot, “and am reminded that I have been neglecting myself lately. Which is an incredibly easy thing to do when you’re burying yourself in work.”

Seated, he looked even less imposing. He seemed to slouch a bit as he eased into the seat, and it was comfortable enough that he closed his eyes for a few seconds and just breathed.

He’d have to be careful; he probably could have just fallen asleep like that.

When his eyes opened again, they settled on Yuuri again.

“I find that I rarely feel like I’ve done well enough to deserve a break. So I work. Constantly. And then I get overwhelmed. And then my health declines, and my work output declines, and then I crash. I am not a good example of proper self-care. Which is, actually, why I’m here today. I wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself. I understand your latest mission was rather brutal. I’ve asked a lot of you, and I don’t think I’ve done a good job telling you how much I appreciate you. Your well-being is very important to me, Yuuri.”

“Water, please. If that’s easiest. Thank you,” Justice said, because even if he didn’t wish to impose, part of the taking care of yourself thing meant staying hydrated, and he only just now seemed to realize how sore his jaw was and how dry his throat had been. He’d had a lot to talk about today and the last thing he wanted now was for his voice to give out while he was trying to have an important conversation with Yuuri.

Before he could leave to get him anything, Justice thought it important to actually respond to him, though.

“I had actually considered Misha while I was thinking about you. There’s only so much you can actually glean from reading about someone, but I’ve been impressed with you for a while. It’s not just because of your rank, or your accomplishments. It’s also because you’re kind, and considerate. When you came with Misha to my office, I was impressed with you. You were supportive, and reassuring. I’ve always thought it was important to express those things when recruiting anyone. That, and promotions--they’re hard. They can be scary. They hurt. I’d regretted that I hadn’t spent more time with you before, even more so when I watched you with Misha. I’m glad he’s good to you. I think you must be very good to him, too. But, you’re right. I don’t know much about you outside of your file. I have suspicions that have been nagging at me. For example, I suspect that you doubt yourself. That you undervalue your self worth, and put yourself in harm’s way because you think you’re less important than others. And I might be wrong,” he admitted. “But I’ve lost enough good people to know that you can’t sit around and not say something if you’re worried about them. The mission you just came back from? I’ve read about it. I wasn’t there, so I can only imagine. I’m sure I’ll have more reports to go over soon, but I read that it was rough.”

His eyes fell to Yuuri’s injured arm again, and then back to his face.

“It was important to me that I knew you were okay. Equally important that if you weren’t, you have the means to be.”

He exhaled and tried to sit upright in the too-comfortable chair. “I don’t mean to come here and make presumptions, Yuuri. I have no criticisms, no harsh words. Only concern. I think you’re very special and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you worrying about how things went. So, that being said--I apologize,” he cleared his throat, “I’m sure I’ve talked your ear off.”

Justice thanked Yuuri and took a lengthy sip of the water, though he didn’t reach for any of the food. He held the bottle carefully between his hands, cautious not to drop or spill it, or in any other way deface his host’s home.

A smile twitched on his face and for the shadow of a second it almost seemed rueful before it settled into something nicer. “I don’t sleep much,” he admitted. “Four hours a night is a good night.”

He didn’t seem shy about this; he kept much of his life an open book. The secrets were easier to hide when everyone was used to getting easy answers.

“I’ve been at two or three for a while now. I nap,” he said, like the ten minute catnaps at his desk were actually restful. “But, those cookies don’t bake themselves.”

He smiled for good measure; he didn’t wake up to bake, he just baked when he woke up.

“I need to do better, I know. I’ve been considering reducing my hours at work, at least for a bit. I work at the Social Security Administration office, so it’s useful when someone needs help getting established, but. It’s not like I need to be there all the time.” And yet, it sounded like this was something he struggled with. “I like the predictability of the job. The monotony is peaceful. But I feel like I’m wasting time there, for the most part. I could work one day a week and still be available to help anyone in our organization. It’s the only reason I’m there, anyway.”

He shrugged and had to take another sip of water. He hadn’t come here to talk about himself, but he didn’t want to give the impression that he had anything to hide.

“I spend a lot of time worrying about others, yes,” he concluded. “I don’t think anyone should feel alone in this. Even on good days, this is still a war. I’m hypocritical, I know. But Queen Laurelite hasn’t given me a hard time about it, so I’m pushing my luck. I just think that it’s important to be in this together. So I want you to know that if you’re having trouble, you aren’t alone. I don’t want you to hesitate if something’s on your mind or you’re having difficulties. I want you to tell me if you need a break from things, or if there’s something you need to make your life easier.”

Justice wasn’t alarmed or uncomfortable when Yuuri moved, but when he wrapped his arms around him, he bristled. It wasn’t an act of aggression, it wasn’t Justice becoming defensive; he just seemed startled.

His breathing stopped for a long second, and when it came out again, it was a shuddery breath that he tried to mask with a laugh. He was rigid for a few seconds longer before he relaxed, and he placed a gentle hand on Yuuri’s arm, patting gently.

He didn’t have a voice to speak with for another few seconds, but when he did it was uncharacteristically soft, even for him.

“You are very kind, Yuuri, thank you. I didn’t realize I needed to hear that. I came over here to fuss about you, so don’t let me worry you too much. I want to make sure you’re taken care of, so if you ever need anything, just promise you’ll come to me. There is nothing you should have to deal with alone.”