Kalina lay in bed and held one of her cats in the air, watching as the brown and white feline seemed to simply give up and allow her fate to commence. She gave a pitiful meow and looked imploringly down at her owner, green eyes big and filled with far too much cuteness than should be allowed. With a soft, almost pitying laugh, she put the cat down on her chest and let out a huff of a sigh, moving an arm and flinging it over her eyes, to block out the light and perhaps just to block out the world itself.

She had been back in the city for a few months now, and honestly...it was a toss up as to if she was going to stay. She missed her home away from here. Missed just…not being a part of the war and not having to deal with the stupid fighting and the stupid people who all thought they were better than she was but…

At the same time, Kalina enjoyed being in the thick of things. When she got to power up into Sapphirine, she could be a sassy piece of s**t and nobody cared. Or...well. Nobody cared anymore. Haumea had cared. Cared enough to break her fingers. Cared enough to push her into trying to be stronger.

...She hoped that he was doing okay. She still missed him, of course but...that part of her life was over now, she had known that for quite a while. It had been nice while it had lasted...but of course….perhaps it hadn’t really been nice. He had been...kind of awful. When she thought about it. And she had been a little stupid. Still following him even after he hurt her. She deserved better. And now...well. She had better. The best thing Haumea had done for her was give her the cats, and Kalina still had the cats...still loved the cats and they loved her so...really she had gotten the best out of the relationship.

...if it was a relationship.

At that thought, Kalina gave a loud, prolonged sigh, burying her hand in the cat’s fur and rubbing gently. “What a mess, hm? What a mess! This is why I left the last time, and I was doing good up there. It was good. Healthy! But now I’m back in the city and already thinking about how much I wish that I wasn’t!”

Moving her arm slightly, she looked at the cat on her chest with a squinted eye, snorting when all she did was give a great yawn, blowing a puff of warm, fish scented breath into her face before getting up and stepping right onto the girl’s...whatever organ was on her side before jumping lightly off of the bed and beginning to groom her long fur with purpose.

“Thanks. Good talk as always.” Kalina snorted as the cat lifted her leg and began to groom places she didn’t care to think about, and with a chuckle, she flopped back down and covered her eyes with her arm once more.

Was there anything to stay for? She was still stuck. Still stuck as a basic corrupt senshi. There hadn’t been any growth...even though she had been at this for literal years...maybe...she should set a goal for herself...give herself a time frame of when and where and how long she should wait...and if she didn’t meet the goal…she could simply leave. That wouldn’t be so hard. Right?

Her mind drifted after a moment to Haspira, the other corrupt who had rescued her and seemed so confused by all of this...maybe...well. Maybe if she was lucky she could become a mentor or something for the other woman...that would...actually that would be nice, even if they were still on the same level. At least Kalina had money. She could help her in other ways that didn't have anything to do with being a senshi...but didn’t that defeat the purpose of everything? Kalina groaned and twisted, rolling onto her stomach and pressing her face deep into the large, satin covered pillow, giving a muffled yell into it.

Maybe...she could give it to her birthday next year. If she wasn’t stronger by then...if she didn’t have some grip on what she wanted to do with her life by next February...then she would leave. Maybe for good this time. That was six months..give or take a few days. That was long enough to figure something out, surely. And if it wasn’t...well. She could always extend the date if things were moving at least a little, couldn’t she? Of course she should. Nobody else knew of these goals.

Truth be told, nobody else cared so...that was a thing. And because of that...if she decided to ever change her mind...she had nothing to keep her accountable...but…

She would just tell Haspira. She would confide all of this to her friend...because they were, right? They were friends...and that’s what friends did. Talked to one another. Helped one another with...issues or whatever. A great idea. They had saved each other from the...whatever was in the reservoir, hadn't they? So they both either owed a life debt or...that had been cancelled out...ah. Whatever. She would figure this out.

Kalina pushed herself up and swung her feet over the edge of the bed, sending her cat running from the room in a completely unnecessary panic...which was pretty standard. Well. Now that the existential issues were settled...it was time for some retail therapy. That was bound to help her, and if it didn’t well. ******** it.

She’d worry about tomorrow when tomorrow came. Perhaps after shopping...maybe she could talk to someone else in the Negaverse...figure out just how she managed to get more power...now that she was doing this alone...it was time to just...do it.

And so she would.