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 Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2021 5:46 pm
Jace hadn’t known what to expect from his mother when he’d come over. Honestly, he partly thought he’d be murdered. He thought he’d find the house engulfed in flames, or a grave in the backyard.
He’d spent so long thinking about how bad it was going to be that by the time he actually showed up on the doorstep, it wasn’t that bad.
Or, he’d tell himself that. He’d tell everyone that.
His mother shrieked at him for a little over two hours before she worked out her frustrations, and Jace wondered if Holden would be proud of him for tuning her out for at least half of it. The truth was that he just didn’t have the emotional fortitude to listen to every little nagging thing she had to say, every fault and flaw.
His hair wasn’t perfectly done, his clothes were wrinkly, he looked like such a slob. He didn’t look like he’d been sleeping well, and he should have spent more time grooming himself. She yelled at him for neglecting his phone, for ignoring her, for abandoning his duties. She yelled at him about the importance of family, and duty, and holding yourself accountable. She yelled at him for everything--for the state of his room, for giving her such trouble, for not taking this seriously.
Jace’s ears hurt. His head hurt. His heart hurt. His stomach hurt. His pride hurt. His back hurt.
When she left him alone in the living room, he didn’t really seem to know what to do with himself--or the knowledge that there was something wrong with his exam. They’d gone over it enough--he’d scored good grades on the essay portion, but the multiple choice was wrong. All wrong.
Until you compared the answer he selected and the answers on the test form and they were right. He’d missed a few--and gotten an earful for that, too--but he hadn’t gotten enough wrong to fail.
So, with all the negative emotions he was feeling, there was at least that going for him.
For a while, Jace had just sat at the table, but as the minutes ticked on and it didn’t seem like she was coming back any time soon, he quietly pushed his chair away and walked towards his room--that really didn’t even feel like his room right now.
….And then he looked at Xander’s door, and the guilt just worsened. He hadn’t seen him since he left, hadn’t heard from him. Sure, their friends had reached out discreetly to communicate, but he hadn’t talked to him.
Jace glanced over his shoulder to make sure his mother was still distracted, and lightly knocked on Xander’s door.
“...Are you in there?” he asked, voice little more than a whisper.
He didn’t know if he wanted the answer to be yes or no; on one hand, he missed his brother. Badly. On the other hand, he didn’t know what to say, and he was already freezing up.
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Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2021 1:32 pm
From inside Xander’s room, there was a muffled cacophony, the sound of someone in a hurry, tripping over something, and trying to do all of this graceless rush as quietly as possible as not to disturb the household, right before the door was yanked open and Xander was -there, with his arms wrapping around Jace without so much as a how-do-you-do. “Jace!!” Hissed Xander, leaning back to try and take him in like he wasn’t sure he was actually dressing a living human. Perhaps not unreasonable to think that given their Mother and her temper. “Jace, Jace, Jace! Are you ok? Do you need an escape?” He said half a whisper. Xander himself looked at least fairly normal, tired perhaps, but not the worst. “I missed you!” He added and then stepped aside. “Get in here!”
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Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2021 7:34 pm
Jace might have breathed a soft sigh of relief when he heard the noise in Xander’s room because that meant he was alive, and sounded like himself--but Xander’s arms were around him before he could even remember how to breathe, and then his brain just felt all scrambled and he was hurrying to comply. He stepped into Xander’s room, but two steps in he was facing him again already.
“I’m okay,” he reassured quickly. “I mean--I feel like I’m in over my head, but I’m okay. I missed you, too. I’m sorry,” he said, before he could move into anything else.
“I didn’t mean to--”
To what?
To run? To get away from her? To try and figure things out?
“...To leave you with all this, alone. I wasn’t thinking. I haven’t been thinking. But I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2021 11:32 am
“Dude, she’s crazy sometimes, we both know that… she was so mad when she thought you failed even though I kept saying it was ridiculous!” He shook his head adamantly. “Don’t say sorry, She’d have blamed the pen or pencil you chose if she’d been given a chance! I’d have run too so I didn’t have to hear that I made a clear error in pen choice. Heck, I’m pretty sure She had a brief interlude of complaining that you must have written your name in a way that made you look foolish and just cursed the whole test.” He offered a quirk of a grin. “And I’m still breathing yeah? How did uh… how were things with Holden?” He asked… innocently.
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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2021 1:54 pm
The sad thing was that Jace could have believed it, too--even if Xander was only saying it to make him feel better. He was better off than he’d expected, and Jace didn’t know why he’d just assumed that Xander was going to be skinned alive, just the shell of a person or something horrible, and maybe, maybe, it made Holden’s words about all of this carry a little more weight.
He wanted to just grab Xander again and squeeze him, but he felt so out of place in the house right now that he didn’t even know what seemed real or not--or if he was just getting used to Holden’s hugs and thinking about how he could have used one right now.
“They were fine, I don’t think Callan knew what to do with me because he just kept feeding us. I didn’t mean to worry everyone,” he insisted, but he suspected Xander already knew. Jace didn’t want to be remembered for running away from his problems.
“They said I could stay with them if I needed to. Holden said he’d even clear out the craft room if I needed it, but I told him not to. I’ve just been crashing in his room. I told him I’d meet him for dinner and let him know what was going on, but I don’t even think I know yet. I think mom expects me to come back, but. I don’t know, it was weird.”
He looked ashamed, a little embarrassed to be admitting it, but confessed, “Everything just feels so different over there. I can’t explain it. The air feels cleaner, I don’t have to tiptoe around. I started getting comfortable. But I don’t want to take advantage of their kindness or anything. If I ever have to get away again, I’m going over there so if you need to find me, you know where to go. What about you--what did I miss? You haven’t gotten into any trouble, have you?”
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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2021 7:29 pm
“Oh man, was it health food? Did he feed you ALL the Protein shakes?”
He could just imagine it now too, being woken to powder filled canisters and the sound of a blender, maybe eggs, so many eggs.
“Did he make you exercise too? Can you still move your arms? Did they try and get you into a wrestling costume?”
The tease fell easily, a distraction in good faith.
He did settle to listen though, really listen to the ease in Jace’s voice as he spoke of Holden.
“That’s… that’s really good though.” He said after a moment.
“I’m so glad it’s easy there, that… that says a lot! And … god, Jace, I don’t think Holden or Callan would ever be tired of you, you’ve practically been part of their family as much as this one! Plus I’m fine I’m fine! I was the soul of innocence while you were gone, on my very best behavior! I was so careful!”
[quote="Kyuseisha no Hikari"
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2021 6:15 am
Jace looked at him and scrutinized him, because he wasn’t sure that Xander was being honest or just telling him what he wanted to hear. “Well, good,” he relented, because Xander did seem to be in one piece, and he hadn’t tried to run away too.
“And--no, I didn’t wear any costumes. We even got fast food. Like. Callan ordered everything on the menu the night I went back with them. Nobody shoved a single protein shake down my throat. Callan’s a good cook,” he said, a bit defensively. Even if he hadn’t been, Jace would have said as much.
Callan could probably snap him in two if he wanted to.
“It was nice,” he said, and didn’t really understand why his ears suddenly felt so hot. He rubbed the back of his neck and shifting positions.
“Has Nelson been taking care of you? Did you get to go spend time with him, or did mom keep you here under lock and key? She, um. She got really wound up,” he said, and thought about how even now he just wanted to avoid his phone, maybe forever.
Oh, except. He pulled it out quickly and found Holden’s number immediately. He texted, 'I’m still alive. Talking with Xander. I’ll probably head back soon so be thinking about what you want for dinner.'
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2021 5:30 pm
“Wait, He ordered fast food??” Xander’s jaw dropped. “That’s…almost more unbelievable than the idea that you could ever have failed your test!” He braced himself waiting to be smacked in the arm, just in case. “I did manage to get some good Nelson time though, hard won, but she already expects me to be disappointing you know? I think I had an easier time…” He made a small face, almost a flinch and then brightened suddenly. “Oh! We could uh… what would you think of like…” He leaned in and murmured… “A burner phone, so like, I can reach you, Holden can reach you… but uh…some people…can’t?” He tipped his head with a sheepish grin. “Something where we can add minutes…”
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Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2021 5:56 pm
Ordinarily, Jace would have smacked Xander in the arm for harassing him, but he was still too sensitive right now and bristled instead. Jace was mad, and a bit embarrassed about all of it--and about his reaction; his hair was pulled back neatly, probably because he had to meet with their mother and he wanted to look professional, but beneath that his ears reddened. His cheeks followed a second later, and his face twisted into a scowl.
But.
Xander had a good idea.
“I guess,” he huffed, and looked over his shoulder like he expected his mother to be standing there.
She wasn’t, and when he listened for a few seconds, he realized he could still hear her huffing over the phone across the house.
“I’ll get that set up and get you the number. Are you going to be okay if I head out for dinner tonight? We have to catch up. I guess I should make some time to ask about,” he gestured vaguely and air quoted as he spoke, “Nelson Time.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2021 2:16 pm
“Course I’ll be ok! I mean I’m dang glad to see you again, and I mean, I never lost faith that this was all bunk. But … get yourself some good dinner! Get some good um… chill time with Dinner!” He did break into a huge grin at the words ‘Nelson Time’. “How much do you want to know man?” He looked like a cat with cream at the idea of Nelson. “No offense, but it’s awesome to have someone other than you think I’m not a -total- waste of space and air.” He laughed. “But no, seriously, he makes me happy, and I can only hope that I make him happy too, I mean he says yes… but, you know… Nelson. he’s too nice by half.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2021 5:00 pm
Jace managed a bit of an amused smile. He wasn’t actually sure how much he wanted to know about ‘Nelson Time’, but Xander looked so happy about it that he couldn’t even be facetious about it.
“If Nelson says you make him happy…”
Well, Nelson would probably tell anyone that if he thought it would make them feel better. Except, Nelson would lie, not to Xander. “...Then, you make him happy. He likes you enough that he’s even spent some time checking on me. He’s, um.”
There were a lot of things to say about Nelson, and a big part of him only saw Nelson as weak--but in his head, the thought didn’t come out in his voice. It came out in his mother’s, and he cringed.
“He’s really nice,” Jace said instead, because that was true, and he didn’t think that was weak. Not when it made his brother so happy. Would other people try to walk all over him? Try to take advantage of him? Sure.
...But that just meant Xander was going to have to work extra hard to take care of him.
“I’m glad he makes you so happy. You deserve it.”
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