He’d been thinking on the topic on and off since December, though it had been on his mind even in October. It was on his mind more and more though as of late and it really was something he needed to come to a conclusion on. He couldn’t just let it hang about in the back of his mind.

He knew Aiden had meant a lot to him - he’d almost proposed! It wasn’t something he’d have ever normally done, he didn’t think a piece of paper was needed to prove a relationship and the feelings within that relationship. But he had on one night considered it...thought about it. He was glad he hadn’t, seeing how things had ended, it would have been even messier if they’d been married.

As he spent time away from the relationship he had been able to think about things more, something he needed to do. Why had he changed his stance on marriage so damn much? It wasn’t something he’d ever cared much for in the past, even going so far as to talk about his dislike of marriage. He knew it was because he cared about the other that much...wanted forever with him. But he wasn’t going to have forever and the delusion he’d been living in was gone now.

There was no way he and Aiden could work and he knew it now. They lived in two different worlds and he lived in a very dangerous world, one that Aiden didn’t understand and a world he couldn’t bring him into. Well, he could but he wouldn’t and that was the truth of the matter. He cared enough to not want him involved in things and that meant they couldn’t be together. Their worlds would not work together -they couldn’t. There were too many secrets and too much going on - too much danger.

But maybe, just maybe, there was also a part of him that was happy about this break up. He didn’t need to hide in his own home. He didn’t have to worry about talking to Katya or coming home with a few injuries. He could b***h about senshi and knights if he wanted to. Nothing had to be hidden and it was freeing in a way. It felt like a needed change that had finally, after so long, happened.

He’d had enough time away from Aiden to realize he didn’t like hiding, especially in his own home, and that as much as he wanted to keep Aiden safe he had been hiding a large part of himself and it hurt them both. It hurt him to feel like he had to keep silent and not be himself in the house. It hurt Aiden, obviously, because he’d had people over who he hadn’t introduced the other to. Aiden had never mentioned the injuries he’d had from time to time...or when he’d go missing at night, so he didn’t think about that now either. Maybe Aiden would find the right person, someone who could make him happy, but Alexandre was now sure that it wasn’t him who could do that.

Not only was he not that person but he was glad he wasn’t. He could be Benitoite and not hide it and he didn’t need to worry about spending money left, right, and sideways and he could look down his nose at people as much as he damn well pleased and he didn’t have to worry about his partner not approving or being upset with his behavior. He could reclaim himself and be who he always had been and had slowly been hiding bits and pieces of. He’d changed for Aiden and over time, when he thought about it now, he hadn’t liked it all.

Alexandre had, slowly, over time come to the conclusion that he and Aiden would not be getting back together. It simply wouldn’t work. They were from two different worlds and they were not meant to mix. They had their own worlds and their own paths to walk and he would walk his alone if he needed to but no matter what he would not be walking it with Aiden. He was more than ok with this.