973 words

A light soft rain fell down to the pavrment with the lightest tapping sounds and the earthiest of ichor scents, the odor or perichor the best scent really, to be walking in with no umbrella, not because of rgw dano 00 ur was a cold rain - butthe perichor. Verga was better than this cold wet thing, but what could one do but simply.. Deal. Cold did suit the mood though and the thoughts boiling in the senshi's mind as she leaned on a guardrail above with no small sense of defeat, eyes taking in the city with a tired and haggard look. Eternal Sailor Elpis lacked the grace of most of the others in the Court had, and she lacked the charm of Subra or Lysithea, the elegance Forte'd had... Elpis felt downright tired. What did she have? A lot of metal and protection from it. She had a lot of leather -- that didn't fit -- and she lacked the sheere, well... Class of the others, sticking out like some kind of militaristic sore thumb.

Really, she realized, she wasn't pretty. Nor did she feel her best, instead the senshi felt hollow and empoty inside, like some kind of substance inside was carved out, and she hugged herself. No, she wasn't like the others in the court. She wasn't pretty, but she was functional. She frowned, uncertain of how to handle her emotions, hugging herself. She just wondered if she belonged.

Powered life ruined her life too. She didn't know why Albert disappeared without her, taking her twin brother Flynn and his grandchild and... And.... Was it her fault for becoming so powerful, or the senshi she tried training and failed? Maybe something was wrong with her. Elpis sighed, looking down a bit as her emotions floated by in her mind and she shook her head, frowning. Joseph seemed to just... Ghost her, too. That was the problem then.

She wasn't good enough. She wasn't strong enough. She wasn't worthy of her power levels or of her Court or... Elpis made a low cry. All she had was Kasih and her uncle and two cousins, and for a family-oriented person that was painful. Elpis closed her eyes, feeling a sense of loss and lack of meaning, before deciding to move slowly, head low.

No wonder she was wrong. Her past was a mess, why not bleed into the present. Elpis sighed a sad, soft sigh before shaking her head and walking, letting her senses feel for auras as she walked along, eyes closing. She needed an escape, she needed an out -- in one motion she reached out and summoned a cellphone from a pocket before the magic it bore carried her into the heavens, the senshi burying her face in her hands as she arrived on her homeworld. It was safe here. It was warm and comforting, brilliant and beautiful. The senshi hugged herself again before crumpling to her knees and sobbing woefully. She sobbed into her hands, tears dropping onto ancient stonework and soaking into the environment like rainwater. She wept loud in a palace, echo carrying her tears to the heavens, but no comfort came, no soft reassurances. She hurt so much. She was a year away from things and she still hurt. She abandoned the comforts of her remaining family to grieve and if she spoke true... She was hiding. She hid from the war, she hid from the pain of failure -- from potentially driving others away. She was hard to find because she hid on her homeworld, and now was no different, the senshi sobbing her sorrows as she curled up to cry in the throne room for the present, and the senshi's shoulders shook as she wept.

Slowly, gently, her weeping subsided and her sorrow lessened enough for basal curiousity to move, walking from her world's throne room to the rest of the palace, slowly passing the barracks before exiting into the town proper. She walked along the pathways slowly, eyes taking in the familiar sights and silence as she walked as if patrolling, sighing as she reached the field of flowers she first arrived in when she came the first came, and then, the senshi stepped out into the lush field, walking slowly as she sighed, closing her eyes. As she walked, she closed her eyes to soak in a memory of the past with a soft sigh.

[ui]Am I doing things wrong? I don't -- I shouldn't be the queen. I shouldn't be the new crown. Why can't they pick someone else?" The general-turned-queen punched a wall, nigh breaking her fist before her companion touched the fist softly, drawing her in.

"Love, they gave you the crown because they trust you. And I proposed because I love you. It will be well. It will be fine."

"I'm scared." Elpis finally admitted. The warlord beside her sighed and shook his head, smiling before leaning in and stealing a far from chaste kiss, smiling faintly.

"Elpis. Heart. Shining Queen. Whenever you're scared, whenever you need comfort, remember that even if we're tending to our own worlds, we're together at heart because we're soulmates. Even if your heart is big enough for the others -- if nobody else comes, my strength is yours. No matter what comes, I'll be your shield, your sword. You need only ask." He smiled, and Elpis smiled back, kissing him in delight.

She paused by a river she never crossed, and looked out, watching the water flow as she played with her own hair and turned half lidded eyes on the ripples and waves. Flecks of copper and gold danced in the clear liquid, distorted and gleaming in the flow as it seemed to ever change, and the senshi sighed, finally beginning to cross using an old footbridge, beginning to explore a new pace in her world. And somehow, her memory made her feel that much better.