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 Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 6:42 pm
The hotel had been booked for tonight as well, but as soon as Jace finished his exam he had packed up and left. He was anxious and scatterbrained, and there was a part of him that was very keenly aware that this was both over and not over. He couldn’t feel good about finishing his exam because as soon as it was over, everything was out of his hands.
There was no more studying, there was no more preparing.
It was over.
And now he had to wait.
For. Months.
He’d told himself for so long that when the test was over, he could just relax, he could sleep, but when he’d gone back to the hotel room to finally go to bed, he’d laid down, buried his face in the pillows, and…
Started thinking.
About nothing good. Jace had managed to stay still for only two minutes before he pushed himself up, washed his face, packed, and checked out early. He wasn’t thinking clearly; legal terms and protocol and cases filled up his head. He’d definitely said he was planning on leaving tomorrow morning, and hadn’t even had the wits to call or text anyone after he’d finished the last test.
It wasn’t even until he saw the sign for Destiny City that he realized he’d driven all the way home, and suddenly his court attired felt strangely constricting.
The sun had dipped below the horizon by the time he pulled in, and he knew[i/] he sh someone, and the guilt at not texting his mother was so immense that he found himself pulling into Holden’s driveway instead.
His stomach was a bundle of nerves and his brain felt like it had short circuited. He was reaching for his phone, trying to figure out if it was too late to text anyone--if he could text Holden that he was coming over.
He had so many notifications and missed messages that he was almost immediately overwhelmed just trying to scroll past them to send out one of his own. He sat in the car and shut it off, not wanting to blast the headlights into their windows.
He’d come here without a plan, and now he was trying to frantically arrange one without having any explanation.
Inside, Callan squinted at the car with very bright headlights as he prepared dinner.
“Hold?” he called. “You’re not expecting company for dinner, are you?” He’d have been lying if he said he didn’t make enough for a guest; he always made an extra serving or two in case Holden ever decided to bulk up. Who did Holden even have who had a car like--
Wait.
No, he knew that car. Holden always looked like a puppy in the window waiting for that car.
“Hold,” he called instead, “Your boyfriend’s here.”
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Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 6:57 pm
Holden was not especially large, or tall… but the sound of him bolting out of his upstairs room and thundering down the stairs was sufficient to make anyone not familiar with his excitement believe that there were at least five people of Callan’s size tumbling down the stairs as though someone had pushed them. He reached the main landing with enough speed in fact that he had to catch himself on the doorframe to the kitchen to adjust his trajectory, which had to smart given all the other recent events, but hardly, at that moment seemed to slow him down. He had paint smeared on his cheeks to boot, which meant he’d full-on abandoned whatever his current art project was to scramble downstairs to greet Jace. He almost made it to the door before he turned back and scolded, blushing wildly. “Don’t call him that! We’re not… I just… you know!” He flushed because nothing was -official- after all. Jace might not really like him…or might be confused… or might just, actually really enjoy melted marshmallows. Hard to say. But it was late, and he was here, and that meant if nothing else that the test was over and he probably needed, at the very least… a friend. Holden could do that… He could… He wrenched the door open and hurried to the edge of the front porch, eyes alight with the joy of knowing Jace was -here- and hoping not to see anything awful written on Jace’s own face. He hoped his own delight at the surprise visit would be reassuring enough, but he couldn’t resist taking the few steps down and heading with a bounce in his step towards the car. “Jace! You’re in time for dinner!!” He called as though he’d been expecting him the whole time.
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Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 7:17 pm
Callan couldn’t help but smile as Holden rushed downstairs; he could never get over how easy Holden was to tease, especially where Jace was involved. He hardly had to even look up from dinner, he could hear the way Holden barreled down out of his room.
The grin lingered on his face even as Holden yanked the door open and charged out to see Jace, with all the discretion of a raging elephant. How Jace could not see how much Holden adored him, he had no idea.
In the car, plastered across Jace’s face was his typical over stressed, overthinking, overworked expression and he nearly jumped when Holden was suddenly at his car. He hadn’t even seen him approach, and quickly unbuckled so he could get out of his car. He was still wearing his complete court appropriate getup, as required by the testing site.
“Hey,” he greeted, wondering if he had, in his haze, actually texted Holden that he was coming back tonight. No, he hadn’t. He knew he hadn’t.
“...It’s been a while,” he said, suddenly keenly aware of the prickling in his legs and rear and back, like his body only just now realized how painful the ride back had been. “I hope I’m not intruding? I forgot to text...ah. Everyone. And just wound up here. If I’m interrupting dinner,” he looked back at his car, “I mean, I can go home, it’s no trouble.”
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Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 7:23 pm
Holden made a little sound in his throat, something undefined and brimming with emotion that even he couldn’t confine to a word or even ten. He just lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Jace, pressing his face to his chest and realizing after that… He forgot to ask if that was alright. “No, absolutely not, you’re here, you have been captured, come in come in! We can text later, dinner now! You must be exhausted!!” If they were going to go in for dinner, he should probably let go. “You’re probably too tired to drive, really, we can fold out the spare bed! It’s no trouble! You know it’s no trouble. He almost… almost said ‘you’re the reason my room has a day bed in it not just my bed. Yes, it was covered in various fat plush birds and pillows shaped like leaves, but it was a serviceable twin that doubled as a couch. “Won’t you stay?” He asked making himself step back, just a little, and meet those tired, stressed, and beautiful eyes. “Dinner isn’t even on the table yet, so you can hardly be interrupting!”
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Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 7:38 pm
Jace had immediately wanted to reach out and embrace Holden, but it felt like his brain was lagging. Before he could get his arms to move, Holden was gone, and then--no, that wouldn’t do. He took a step forward and embraced Holden in response, just wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. He felt like he could hear all of his bones creaking when he moved, and he hoped Holden couldn’t hear how rattly he felt.
“Yeah,” he said, and his brain was catching up, it just seemed to have gotten stuck on ‘hug Holden’.
He didn’t let him go (but might have, if he’d realized Callan could see all of this and was wearing a very self-satisfied smile as he watched through the window) and just rested his head against Holden’s as he let his body readjust to not moving and not sitting.
“Yeah,” he repeated. “...Actually. If you don’t mind, that sounds really good. I tried sleeping at the hotel and couldn’t.” He’d never had such a problem with them before and he didn’t know what it was now, except that maybe he was both still on overdrive and dually burned out and couldn’t process anything.
At least while he was here, he could be distracted by Holden.
How could he say no when Holden was asking so sweetly? How could he say no when it sounded so good.
“You sure your brother won’t mind?” he pressed, still resting against Holden as he embraced him.
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Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 8:01 pm
Arms around him, Jace holding him, oh it was so good, and so warm even if he could feel tired that seemed to seep through Jace’s very bones. “I am absolutely sure.” He said Squeezing back in turn, as if he could somehow share his own warmth and joy and ease some of that terrible tension. “In fact, I think if you do not come in, then he shall be offended that you didn’t! He’s put BokChoi in the dinner tonight and I’ve made us a desert! It’s… Lemon Panna Cotta and we made a blueberry reduction to dribble all over it! It shouldn’t be too sweet I promise.” He added. “I’m so glad you’re here not a hotel. They all look the same after a while and I hate them.” “Do you think you can make it inside?” He asked carefully. “I can ask Brother for spare clothes to sleep in, don’t think for a moment you’re sleeping in your good clothes, you’d be so uncomfortable! If you try and refuse I’m lending you the adorable crop top I got, it’d be SO small on you!” He had to falter in that thought for a moment, because, wasn’t that an interesting picture to tuck away for later. Thank heavens Jace couldn’t hear what he was thinking. "I'm so glad you came here..." He tipped his chin up to rest against Jace's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was a glowing joy he felt, radiant warmth to know that this is where Jace's tired feet had led him.
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:11 am
Jace wasn’t sure he understood half of what was on the menu, not because it didn’t make sense but because he’d reached the point where he just couldn’t absorb any more information. The hug was better than he’d imagined, and he wondered if he’d always known how good Holden’s hugs felt. He could have stayed there forever if Holden let him, but going inside seemed like a good plan, too. Probably a little warmer, and better than standing out here in the dark.
“No, I--I’ve actually got a bag. I’ve got pajamas.”
He had to stiffen, because, did he pack something acceptable for this--? Wait. Yes, of course. He had specifically packed nice pajamas in case he passed out and missed his alarm to wake up and had to run out the door. Ridiculous, Jace, get a grip.
He had a grip, on Holden, and he didn’t want to let go.
He wanted to pick him up and carry him inside
“I don’t think I could pull off a crop top, Holden.” Maybe literally. He couldn't imagine getting one on. “But I don’t think I’ve seen your new crop top. You’ll have to show me.”
...Yeah. This was better than a hotel room. Better than going home. It wasn’t anything against Xander, it’s just.
Xander couldn’t hug him like this.
He wouldn't say it out loud, couldn't say it out loud, but he needed this.
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 5:56 am
“Oh, yes that does make sense- you were at a Hotel.” Holden felt his cheeks warm from embarrassment at his own failure to consider that, and because he could feel he made Jace worry that he hadn’t taken what he needed. Shameful.
He gave a small delighted laugh, “I don’t know… I think you could surprise yourself, but I will absolutely show you. I can give you a very tiny fashion show after dinner and then e can make up the bed… how does that sound?”
He took a deep breath, just to catch the nice smell that Jace had, so much clearer when they were this close, warm, and him.
He took a breath and added. “I can see if there is enough time that you could get a shower too…if you wanted, you wouldn’t have to wait?” He ran his thumb cautiously, gently over Jace’s back.
“Come on, it’s chilly, and you’re tired….” He didn’t release Jace, not yet, that was all for Jace to do, he’d hold on as long as he could.
[quote="Kyuseisha no Hikari"
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 6:55 am
“It sounds good,” he said, and though he didn’t want to release Holden he realized he’d had his arms wrapped around him for quite some time now. Reluctantly he lowered his arms. “Let me get my bag,” he said, and opened the back seat of his car to pull out a small duffel. There was another, much larger bag of studying supplies, like Jace maybe thought he might forget everything he’d ever learned and needed to have it all on hand.
“I’d rather a fashion show than a shower. I might fall asleep,” he grumbled, and while it seemed like he was fussing, it was more truthful than he wanted to admit.
He picked his bag up and held it over his shoulder before looking back at Holden and smiling. Tired, but relieved. “Once I fall asleep, I’m not sure I’ll wake up. I feel like I could sleep for a week. But I said I’d visit as soon as the test was over, so.”
So, here he was, as soon as he could be here.
He hadn’t realized how badly he wanted to see Holden.
“Sorry that I forgot to call, though. I’m glad you’re always so happy to see me. Did you get taller or has it just been so long?” Had he shrunk from hunching over so much?
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 7:21 am
“Then we will make up the bed for a week,” Holden said only half teasing. He’d probably sit and dote over a sleeping Jace with the ‘only romantic in story books’ sort of affection people had for Sleeping Beauty and Snow White and their associated suitors. He considered the question of if he’d gotten taller quite seriously though. “I don’t think so… My Brother remains frustratingly taller than I am, and I feel like I’d have noticed if I’d gained even a little on him.” He mused. “Maybe I’m just floating a bit because I’m so happy you’re here!” He nodded at that statement, as though it were the most reasonable suggestion that could have been put forth in the world. He took a chance, wrapping his arms around Jace’s arm in a hug and leading him that way towards the front porch, thankfully it was wide enough that he didn’t even have to let go till they needed to step inside. “Let me get the door! Brother and I can help carry your things upstairs so you can breathe! We pressed some fresh juice today too and it was VERY good, I promise it’s not Kombucha this time, never again surprise Kombucha. Especially if I didn’t remember to be sure it hadn’t gotten too sour.”
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 8:38 am
Floating a little bit? Could Holden say anything that wasn’t precious? Jace could not process why his heart felt so warm and instead of thinking maybe he had emotions, he wondered if the coffee he’d had twelve hours ago had suddenly given him heartburn.
They were by the car and then at the door and suddenly Kombucha and Jace was nearly gagging.
“I need coffee,” he announced, because the filter was just gone in his mind. Usually he could ask politely, or just order himself some to be delivered if he really didn’t want to inconvenience Holden. Now, he just wanted to be able to stay awake enough to appreciate him.
He had to shake his head. “I mean,” he tried to correct himself, “My bag’s not that heavy, I can leave it by the door and just take it up when it’s bedtime.”
Callan did not believe in coffee after a certain point in the day, but he listened to everything Holden said, no matter how many times he said the same thing about the same topic. Which, very often, was Jace.
Who had showed up at their doorstep, late at night, and Callan didn’t have to talk to Jace to know from Holden that he’d had his test today. He knew how horrible Jace’s habits were because Holden knew how horrible Jace’s habits were.
He knew how much Jace needed coffee to survive because Holden knew that, and Jace seemed to be Holden’s favorite topic, so Callan was practically an expert, himself.
So, as soon as he’d seen that embrace, long as it was, he’d put on a pot of coffee between dinner tasks, because if Jace was going to show up at this hour to see Holden, he was going to be awake to see Holden.
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 8:56 am
“I should make you tea.” Holden scolded, though he didn’t mean it. He wouldn’t be so cruel as to subject Jace to a crash, or worse, a caffeine headache. “Oh good! If your bag isn’t heavy, then I can carry it!” He said smiling as the little trap fell into place. He held out his hands waiting gleefully. “If we leave it here I might trip over it, and then you won’t enjoy your coffee at all!” He gave a glance to Callan, radiating a quiet appreciation for the coffee he could smell brewing now alongside the scents of dinner. “If you want to follow me up, I can show you the thing I was working on, and then we can come back down for dinner, or… I carry this up, and you start sipping coffee, I’ll be back down before you know it!” He’d bring a robe, something soft and warm to set around Jace’s shoulders. The benefit of his own love for oversized robes, especially soft fluffy ones meant that he wouldn’t make Jace look like he was wearing something that belonged to a child.
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 9:23 am
Callan pretended like he couldn’t see the two, like he had no idea what he’d done, for who, but wore a complacent smile as he cooked. Jace raised a hand in greeting for the brief moment Callan did look over, and Callan returned it to acknowledge, yes, he knew Jace was here.
Jace turned his attention back to Holden. “If you’re going to carry my bag, I’ll have to carry you,” he challenged, and instead of giving Holden his bag, he took his hand.
“Make sure I don’t fall down the stairs. My lower half is still waking up. I didn’t take any breaks, just drove straight here,” he said. He’d made up his mind; he didn’t want to be down here with Callan, he hadn’t come here for him.
“I can change into something a little more comfortable.” Or, at least, a little more appropriate for dinner. He hadn’t missed the paint on Holden’s cheek, and he’d waited long enough to ask, “What were you working on before I showed up?”
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 9:33 am
Holden huffed, outplayed by the carrying challenge. “If you tried to carry me, Callan would probably have to carry ALL of us because if you drove all the way here you must be -exhausted->” He said and took the offered hand, squeezing it with a bright smile all the same. He couldn’t help it, Jace just.. made him happy. “So you win, this time…” He added with a small nod. “Oh! I have this class I’ve been taking on traditional painting styles, and I was making little cards that I can send people! When I get better at it, I want to get a paper screen, and…” He hesitated and paused to reach up and touch his cheek. It wasn’t the only thing he’d painted, strictly speaking, he had a bad habit of re-shaping his brushes with his mouth. (disgusting habit really, and with the ground pigments it made some comical effects.) He tipped his head back with a small groan. “… We can get you changed and I will wash my FACE because apparently, I can not paint without wearing half of my art project.” That much was the truth. Even if he wore ‘painting clothes’ and tied his hair back, he still ended up with colorful streaks and watery black sweeps on his skin and even, sometimes, in his hair. “I made a tiger for Brother, and so far I’ve painted you some water lilies!” He planned when he got better to paint something to hang on Jace’s inevitable office wall, something pretty and soothing that suggested the same sort of depth he saw in Jace. He led them towards the stairs with another gentle squeeze of his hand and took the stairs with far more caution, and consideration for Jace’s tired legs than he had when he had come hurtling down them.
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Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2021 12:28 pm
Jace tilted his head to look at him as they walked. He kept in shape, but he’d been neglecting his runs just a bit in the past few weeks. He was tired but the mental fatigue felt infinitely more exhausting than the physical fatigue, so he was grateful for the slow ascension.
...And the steadying hand holding.
“You were painting something for me?” he asked, seeming softened by that. “I should have gotten you a souvenir while I was out of town. I didn’t go anywhere exciting though,” he admitted. “I think I have a gas receipt, if you want that.”
A little smile played at the corners of his lips as he admired the paint on Holden’s face; it was so many places it shouldn’t be, and he was grateful that the creative hobby he had that no one else knew about didn’t leave any residue or marks. Practically undetectable.
Still, he walked a little quicker, eager to see something Holden made. It had been so long since he saw something; he hadn’t even been checking social media much of late so had no idea what projects he was working on. He held onto his hand tightly, like he actually needed it to keep him on balance.
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