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 Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2021 4:30 pm
Kraven sighed around the cigarette in his mouth, and watched as the smoke billowed upwards and disappeared into the night sky. He ran a hand through his hair and bit back the aggravated noise that crept up his throat. He had no one to blame but himself. He thought he'd learnt his lesson years ago. He was okay with where things had... ended. With how they turned out. He' had come to terms with it. But the second he saw Kor in trouble. Defenseless. He threw all that out. On top of that, he had just trashed one of the best things going for him. Kazuo. Kraven didn't deserve him. He really didn't. Kazuo had stuck with him through all his s**t. All the attitude, all the fights. Everything. He really didn't deserve the bullshit Kraven was about to drop on him. "Aarrgh!" He hissed, smashing out his cigarette and flinging it into the back yard. ******** idiot. Kraven scrubbed at his face as he stalked into the house and collapsed on the couch. Grabbing his phone he sent a text off to Kor. To Firefly I'm telling him. I'm dead. He didn't wait for a response, instead tossed his phone in a general direction so he didn't have to see it. All he could do now was wait till Kaz got back.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2021 4:36 pm
Kazuo smelled the smoke before he entered the house and he just wrinkled his nose. While he never would say anything, he didn't care for the smell at all, but everyone had their vices, he supposed. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't trying to get Kraven to switch to something a bit healthier than smoking, but it wasn't going so well, especially when the taller man was stressed. Opening the door and stepping in, Kazuo toed off his shoes and put them by the door at the same time as closing it behind him and locking it. With that taken care of, he shimmied his coat off and then scarf before sighing. "I'm home." He sounded tired. Working at a gas station wasn't the easiest job in the world, especially when he was basically the owner. It made him happy though. "How was your day?" He went right to the couch to get off his feet for the first time in hours. The whole time he had a bag in his hand of snacks and drinks he brought home every night. Something of a ritual the Japanese man started when he first started working there. Tonight was sandwiches and a couple cans of beer for Kraven, and a premixed screwdriver for Kazuo. He divvied out the food and then turned his whole focus onto his boyfriend, looking expectantly for an answer.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2021 5:20 pm
The sound of the door open caused Kraven tense up. He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. Well, ********. He flinched away when Kaz sat on the couch and tried not to jump out of his skin further when Kaz divvied out food. He just stared on a head before dropping his head and digging his palms into his eyes. Kraven felt like he couldn't breathe. His chest was in knots and his throat felt tight. If Kazuo looked hard enough, he could see Kraven shaking ever so slightly. "I..." He choked out. Don't deserve you. ******** everything up. "I'm... Sorry." He finally managed. It was only when he turned to face the smaller man next to him, that he realized he was crying. "Kazuo..."
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2021 5:26 pm
Sleepy brain was switched off, and Kazuo was alarmed at the mood of the room he couldn't read until now. Then he saw the shaking, and heard the pain in the other's voice. "Kraven?" Why was he crying? Why was he apologizing? Was Sho dead? Did Ko get out? He looked around and saw his beloved bird on a perch eating food and the cat was sleeping on a chair next to the couch, so the shorter man was so confused. Pushing the food to the side, he scooted forward to take hold of Kraven's hand and tugged gently. "What's wrong? What happened? Did you get in trouble?"
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2021 5:37 pm
Did you get into trouble?
Oh the irony. "Heh... Bout to be." He choked out, with a bitter laugh. The hand that Kazuo had felt like it was on fire, and all he wanted to do was snatch it back but Kraven held on to it instead. He needed something to hold on to. He honestly felt like he was going to be sick.
"I... I ******** up." He said quietly, refusing to look at Kazuo. "I didn't.. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did... And. I didn't stop it." Kraven wanted to snatch Kaz up and just hold him. But what right did he have at this point.
"I kissed Kor." He finally admitted.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2021 5:43 pm
And there it was. Like a punch to the gut. Kazuo squeezed Kraven's hand hard. A sharp spike of pure pain lanced through him and all he could muster up was, "Oh." Cinnamon colored eyes stared at the bigger man in front of him who couldn't even look at him right now. Betrayal was really strong. Anger and outrage were very close behind. Then again this.... Kor has always held a special place for Kraven in his heart. A place Kazuo couldn't begin to even touch. That made him sad. He wasn't enough. Some part of Kraven clearly still wanted Kor. A deep part of Kraven that Kazuo rarely saw. God, he wished he could use the excuse his English was bad, but he had lived here long enough, speaking very little other than English. Even his accent wasn't as thick as it used to be. "Is... ...Is that all you did?" Yes, he sounded shocked. He was giving off a panicked laugh as he asked the question, sounding almost incredulous.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2021 6:47 pm
When his hand was squeezed, and Kaz muttered that word, Kray snapped. He yanked his hand back as if burned and gathered Kaz into his lap and held him closely. "All we did." He hiccupped, as he buried his face in the other's neck. "But..." But nothing. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want... more. "I love you." Kraven bit out. And it was the truth. Kraven loved Kazuo unlike anything before. He didn't understand why Kazuo stuck around him for as long as he did. "I'm sorry." He repeated it over and over again, and just held onto Kazuo.
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:31 am
He wanted to cry. He was starting to cry. And when Kraven said 'I love you' is when Kazuo broke down. Of course he could hear the want in the air hanging like something physical between them. Kraven wanted someone else and that hurt him. He wanted to be angry right now. He wanted to scream, to pull away, to tell Kraven off for playing with him like this. Instead, all he did was collapse into the taller man and cry. Kraven was being honest though. He'd told him. The day it happened, Kraven told him instead of sneaking around. He might not know it, but Kraven was also being honest with wanting more than just a kiss from this other man. Kazuo knew Kraven was a good person. This proved it. Kazuo stayed there, curled up against Kraven, crying silently. He was never a loud person, even while crying. It was muffled, and save for his shoulders shaking and the wetness, and sniffles, no one would know. Eventually he ran out of tears. Eventually all his strength was sapped out of him. He fell further against Kraven, putting all his weight on the other man and just let out a deep, heavy sigh. "....Let's go to bed..."
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 5:53 am
When Kazuo fell against him, Kraven scrambled to catch him, in fear of Kazuo getting hurt. He stared wide eyed for a moment, before curling back around Kazuo. Gently, he brushes away what he could of Kaz' tears, ignoring his own. Kraven let silence fall between them, opting to just hold Kaz tightly against him. When the notion of heading to bed was brought up, he nodded dumbly. Kray scooped Kaz up and walked off to their room, their food completely forgotten.
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 6:01 am
For once Kazuo didn't mind their two foot height difference. He stayed against Kraven, not quite tired, but knowing he didn't want to be ....mentally here right now. So when he was brought to their room, Kazuo closed the bedroom door behind them and then shifted to look Kraven in the face, trying to make direct eye contact. His expression was wounded, upset, but still full of love. Slowly he cupped Kraven's cheek and just kissed him slowly and sweetly. Salty because of the tears, but so full of love. "I'm not.. ignoring this. I just.. need time to think. I love you, Kraven." With that said, he kissed Kraven one more time before hopping down and wandering off to the nightly hunt of finding his pajamas, though it was listless, energy sucked out of him.
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 6:52 am
His hand fanned across Kazuo's back as he stretched to shut the door. "I'm sorry..." He said softly, voice cracking when his eye caught Kaz'. The taller man knodded slowly, reaching up to hold the hand against his cheek. "I love you too Kazuo... So much." To the point where it hurt. Though, it must look like he had a funny way of showing it. When kaz wandered off to find pajamas, he did the same. Kraven debated a shower, but honestly? After everything? He was too drained tonstand there. He fumbled with something in his hands for a minute before ditching the box all together and shoving his ands into the pockets of his pj pants. When he finally emerged, he seemed almost hesitant. Of the bed, of being there. But... Kaz had wanted him there. Kaz didn't say he was going to bed. He said it as.. both of them. So he sank to the bed, one hand still fisted in his pants pocket. "Can... Can you come here, for a second?" He sniffled. "Close your eyes."
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 10:42 am
Kazuo came back after having found his clothes and changed, even going so far as to take his hair down for the night. The rubber band slid onto his wrist, where there was always a rubber band if his hair was down. When he was asked to go closer and close his eyes, Kazuo hesitated but he did as he was asked. Getting on the bed, he walked over on his knees and then closed his eyes when he got there, sitting back on his heels. "Okay. Here. I'm tired, sweetheart...." And he was. Working all day and then coming home to the news he did had completely blindsided him and he felt drained. Part of Kazuo wondered why he didn't do the whole: Who kissed who first? Did you like it more than mine? Those were questions that might shatter him. Maybe it's best he never asked.
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 12:11 pm
"I know Baby, I know... I'm sorry. Just a couple more minutes." He promised, running his hands through Kaz' hair. He leaned over, pressing a kiss against the smaller man's forehead as his hands ran down Kazuo's arms before taking hold of his hands. "I love you... Really, I do." He wondered if Kaz thought he was just saying words, that he didn't mean a single word of it. If he was, Kraven couldn't bring himself to blame him. He pulled something from his pocket and slipped it onto one of Kazuo's fingers. Kraven just sort of stared at it. He didn't nedd to tell the other what it wa. Kazuo knew the second it was on his finger. "I love you." He repeated. "So much that sometimes it hurts. I feel as if I can't breathe if you're not around. There are days when you are the only thing I can think of. And if I try to focus on anything else its like static. You drive me crazy in ways I can't even explain." He wouldn't have traded Kaz for the world... But he had, hadn't he. And for what? Some shot in the dark tbat might not even work in the end??? "I know... given what's happened. It seems like I'm just saying pretty words and doing this to win you over. I don't care if you never trust me again. I can live with that. I just need to you to believe me when I say I don't have the words to express how much you mean to me." He only let go of Kazuo's hand once he was done saying what he needed to. The rest was up to Kaz.
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 12:23 pm
Kazuo could melt against him with these ministrations. It didn't soothe away all of the pain, but it helped in ebbing it a bit. They'd been together for years now. Over five, he wasn't sure, but he knew Kraven loved him. That wasn't what he was doubting. He had to bite back more tears because he really didn't want to cry anymore. But he listened, he heard the words being said to him and then felt the weight of... His eyes flew open and he stared down at his hand, staring at the silver ring with small stones and beautiful feather details. On his right hand. Finally looking back up at Kraven, Kazuo looked a little confused at first. "...You've got a way with words," Kazuo murmured softly. He leaned in and kissed Kraven again. "I love you, too. I know... I know you love me. You wouldn't have told me if you didn't. ....I'm not going to say I won't act different. I'm still... processing? I think is the right word? But... I want a fall wedding..."
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2021 1:33 pm
He sighed a little, watching Kaz relax a little only for it to settle into a giant knot in his stomach when Kazuo finally opened his eyes. "I've uh... had it for a while. Just didn't know when to.." Well he certainlly couldn't have done worse then he did today. Kraven was always awkward with super grand displays of affection. "After everything today... I just wanted you to have it. Regardless of how things... regardless of how we turn out." "Do I? Coulda fooled me.. He chuckled lightly, pulling Kaz against him. Then Kaz was telling him he wanted a fall wedding. That, despite everything, he wasn't leaving. Kraven lunged forward, practically smuthering the smaller man against the blankets. "Fall it is then. Ehatever you want." Kraven said against Kazuo.
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