He was always terrified of being abandoned.

As cold as Cyril was to others it was honestly because he was afraid of getting too close only to have someone shove him away when all he wanted to do was stay. If their lovely, wonderful mother could get abandoned by some Yaeli man then what was to stop someone else from leaving him one day? Cyril was brutal to others, offstandish mostly, because he didn’t want any weaknesses like that to haunt him in the future. It was best that he kept his attention on his family, specifically his twin brother, and that was enough for him. The troupe was a nice home but even then Cyril had to remind himself that nothing was permanent in this world and that things could change. That change was already happening with his mother as she seemingly moved along to a more permanent suitor that possibly wanted to marry her. The thought made his stomach turn into a knot of disgust but the man had survived countless pranks from Cyril and his brother already. He was honestly running out of ideas of how to run the troublesome man out of town. Others they had easily chased off but this man refused to budge! It was so frustrating! Was he living proof that Cyril’s fears could be easily abated if he allowed himself to open up as his mother was opening up to this man? Despite such thoughts the fear was was still there and Cyril wondered how long this could last. Or worse than this man moving into their lives what if the other man in Yael was actually….somehow lost to them unwillingly? The thought was fleeting but Cyril couldn’t help but to wonder now. What if there was some missing piece of this puzzle that could help ease his worries about abandonment? Something to fill in the pieces of their history and the real reason that they didn’t have a father for all of these years? As a child he had often made up stories that he didn’t even share with his twin about how their father was some brave adventurer who had died while heroically saving a whole village from a terrifying group of monsters or something along those lines. It was better than thinking that he just didn’t want anything to do with the lightning lover he had picked up and the hybrid children that he had helped to create.

“Dammit!” Cyril found himself pushing himself more and more each day to train, to learn any studies that would help him sharpen both his mind and his body. The more occupied he was the less he had to worry about such trivial matters after all. He knew in his heart that he would stick by Selim because he felt that his twin was similar to him and that they both treasured their family and each other above anything else in the world. Even if Cyril wasn’t absolutely certain about what path he wanted for himself in the future he couldn’t imagine living a life away from his twin brother, right? Cyril took a deep breath as he lowered his swords to the ground almost in defeat, the flames flickering out of existence as he rested in between dances. Had he forced Selim to become a safety blanket? He had always supposed that he was the protector but the reality was that he relied on Selim just as much in turn. He was his constant, his one person that he could give attention towards without fearing rejection. But Selim was growing up and so was Cyril. It was inevitable that the next few years would force them to grow in their own directions. Eventually he would have to decide on his future and even if it was with the troupe, with Selim or their mother and some man, there would come a time when he would have to learn to function on his own without his twin. He would have to learn to try to open up to others and expand his own horizons instead of hiding behind hours of training and countless books.

“I will overcome this.” Cyril whispered beneath his breath as he studied the slender curve of the blades resting at his side. Perhaps the best way was to fill in the missing pieces of their history. Could that truly help him to cast away his fears and learn to open up more? Did he truly want to do such a thing? The teen let out a sigh before reaching out to take up his swords once more. He needed to do something, he had to overcome this fear whether he liked it or not. That much Cyril was determined to do even if it would take him far away from Belrea to find some sort of truth in the wilderness of Yael.

[815]