Family meant everything to Selim.

For the entirety of his childhood he had Cyril’s full attention. The twins were as thick as thieves and were rarely seen away from each other. Even when they were separated it was like he could always feel that connection. At some point in their fifth year Selim had come down with an illness that spread throughout the city and had to be separated from his twin, lest Cyril catch it too. He wasn’t even allowed to see Dashia no matter how much his mother had begged the healer to let her be close. Why was it that even through the haze of his fever he could still remember being so scared? So utterly terrified to be on his own? For weeks after he’d demanded that the three of them share a bed just so he could sleep between them and it was only then that he felt safe.

Now that they were getting older he thought he’d grown past that. He didn’t need to sleep in the same bed as his brother just to find peace. In fact, he had his own friends, his own life and yet when his mother started dating he just...shut off. Selim didn’t want to hear it. On the best of days he pretended like it wasn’t happening, and when she tried to include the poor b*****d on ‘family activities’ Selim was anything but pleasant.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to go? Where’s your family? Couldn’t get one of your own so now you’re pushing in on someone else's?”

Of course he knew it was rude, but he didn’t care. What they had was perfect the way it was. He had his brother, his mother, and the troupe. Why did they need a stranger? That man was just there to take his mother away from them. He’d said so more than once! When they thought the boys were listening Selim could pick up bits of conversation in passing;

“...maybe after this season we could find a house. I think they boys might really like Valmon if they gave it a chance…”

Why would they EVER like Valmon?! They had grown up on the road!

From that point on he hadn’t held back at all. Anytime that man so much as spoke up around Selim he snapped and it was starting to wear on his mother. She’d grown more aggressive towards him, but it was the one day she started crying that really got to him. Dashia had been pushed to the brink out of sheer frustration and that...honestly made him feel terrible. He didn’t want to push his mother away, just…

Why couldn’t he just be happy for her?

She wanted this otherwise she wouldn’t be dating the guy. And yet...Selim hated it. He hated it so much that his gut would twist and his breath would catch in his throat. She was pulling further away from them the more they aged which was normal, he supposed, but still….And then there was Cyril. He was going to start doing the same soon, right? Go out on his own, find a person he liked, spend more time with them and go off on his own. He didn’t even know if Cyril wanted to stay in the troupe or not and if he didn’t….where would that leave Selim?

You just have to keep trying. For them you have to keep trying.

Slowly Selim started to be nicer to his mother’s boyfriend. He didn’t LIKE it, not one bit, but he was so scared of running her off that he tried. And Cyril...well, there wasn’t much he could do about that, could he? It wasn’t as if he could just lead his brother around on a leash for the rest of their lives. And even if they split off he would always have the troupe. As far as Selim was concerned he never needed to leave them; he had the skill to have a stable position and that in itself was secure enough to keep him somewhat calm.

That would be good enough, right? If they decided not to travel anymore?

And maybe, just maybe, one day he would go off on his own. A part of him DID want to see Yael, since it was where his father resided and there were questions Selim had for the man that he didn’t dare bring up around Cyril. So that was always a possibility...He just needed to accept that while his fears would never really go away he could work with them the best he could.

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