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 Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:42 pm
It's frustrating.
Her boyfriend had told his friends yesterday, and I was sitting with my friend, Alisa and we were listening.
Alisa heard, "72 hours, the pill, and two times."
My friend had been sick, AGAIN, the third time in the last three weeks.
And she was throwing up every morning and such, and I knew something was wrong.
Then her boyfriend came up to me and Alisa and we asked him why he was crying, and if it was because our best friend is pregnant.
He started getting really angry at us because we knew, and told us not to tell anyone and that she's getting an abortion soon.
It's really frustrating cause, all of us, (her best friends) know that she's pregnant.
But she won't tell any of us.
I've tried just talking to her on the phone, and letting her tell me about her day so she has someone to confide in.
But she just keeps talking about how shes "sick" and how its "so weird"
What should I do?
And how do I get her to come out to me?
I'm here for her, but.. Its really hard to be right now.
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 3:29 am
Talk to her in private, and tell her what you know. She may be afraid to confide in you.
You said her boyfriend said she was havnig an abortion, is this really her decision, or his? Because, by the sounds of it, it's more his idea than hers. This may be why she hasn't told you right out. She may be afraid of what you might think of her. It's a common problem for people (friends, family, partner) to turn their backs on someone because they're pregnant, and she may be feeling it will happen to her.
Get the first word in, tell heryou're always there for her no matter what, and that she can talk to you. She might be mad, she might deny it, but she needs to be told with words that you're there for her. That way she may find it easier telling you things like this.
I know it wasn't easy for me to tell a few people, especially the most recent person, my dad. My story with him is I haven't seen him in years, and last night my nan got in touch with him and I called him. I was terrified of what he'd think, even though it's my decision. It was a shock to him, because my daughter is nine months old, and he's only known since last night. I have a story behind all this, but it's not one to be told here.
Always be there for your friend, don't be mad she's trying to hide it from you, even though you know already. At this time in her life, she needs her friends more than anything. I hope everything goes all right for you both, and I hope she makes the right decision for her. Just be supportive, no matter what her decision is smile
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:51 am
I agree. Just tell her everything you heard and that you are completly fine with all of it and you just want to be there for you. If, after that, she still doesn't want to talk, just give her an open invitation like "well, you know where to find me if you ever do." Pressing her, forcing her to talk about something she doesn't want to talk about will only add to her stress.
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:10 am
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:08 am
Kukushka I agree. Just tell her everything you heard and that you are completly fine with all of it and you just want to be there for you. If, after that, she still doesn't want to talk, just give her an open invitation like "well, you know where to find me if you ever do." Pressing her, forcing her to talk about something she doesn't want to talk about will only add to her stress.
You cannot get her to come out to you if she does not want to. What she is going through is extremely personal. Don't be upset with her if she is not ready to open up to you and her other friends. If she decides that something isn't your business, then you just have to deal that it isn't your business until she makes it your business.
All you can really do it express that you know something bigger is going on. And, that you want to be there for her for support.
Let her come to you. If she doesn't, you'll just have to accept it and continue being her friend.
Good luck though. I hope she does talk to someone other than her Boyfriend, she is going to need support.
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:16 pm
Great advice by the previous posters. I hope it all works out and having good friends like you to be there for them is a wonderful thing.
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 8:01 pm
Honey, it's her desesion if she wants to talk to anyone about it. She has that choice. i know that it makes you mad b/c you're like her best friend and you guys have like always shared everything but when it comes to something like this things change. She may also not want your opinion about her to change.
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