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 Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2020 4:09 pm
“This is pointless,” Aquamarine complained — not an uncommon turn of events at all.
He dropped out of a defensive position to wipe sweat off of his brow, rapier gripped in his other hand. They must have been at it for half an hour already. Aquamarine was tired and uncomfortable, and therefore moodier than usual. Add the fact that they’d spent the last several hours in Negaspace filing reports and other such nonsense, Aquamarine was quickly reaching the limit of how much work and duty he was willing to tolerate.
The Dark Kingdom was as its name implied: dark. It was also decrepit and creepy and not a place he liked to spend a lot of time if he didn’t have to.
But Jet was demanding, and Aquamarine felt less inclined to argue than he used to.
Well, he still argued, but he also went along with whatever Jet wanted while he did so.
“Why bother putting so much effort into training when we can easily teleport behind someone and stab them in the back?” he asked. “Have you ever actually even killed someone?”
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Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2020 7:21 pm
“Because they know we can teleport, and that’s exactly where someone would teleport to attack,” Jet frowned, panting for breath. Unlike Aquamarine, Jet tended to always go above one hundred percent of his all, which meant he wore out quickly if he wasn’t careful. But his enthusiasm kept him alive this long, so why not?
“Go ahead. Don’t hold back and try teleporting to attack me,” Jet challenged, pulling his weapon out from where the tip of one of the blades had been stuck into the old floor.
They really needed to get this place back into working order. There was so much potential in the castle. It was a shame that they couldn’t take advantage of it like how it once was.
Still, he was grateful to Aquamarine for helping him. They had a lot of work to do before they were ready to venture into the Rift. Jet wasn’t stupid, although Aquamarine seemed to think he was about many things. No, he didn’t have a death wish, contrary to popular belief. If he wasn’t around, then what would Aquamarine do?
Probably wallow.
Or not.
Jet couldn’t say for certain since they didn’t exactly talk about things like feelings, but he liked to think that Aquamarine would be extremely upset if anything happened to him, as evident of the events in October in that village, and before when Jet had been kidnapped… and countless times between then. Just as he’d been extremely upset when Aquamarine had been hurt.
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Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2020 5:48 pm
“I notice you didn’t answer my question,” Aquamarine said.
He rolled his eyes — also a common occurrence. As much as he’d like to debate the merits of teleportation and surprise attacks, he decided not to waste his breath. Aquamarine knew how the conversation would end. Ilian was often single-minded and stubborn; as Jet, that bullheadedness tended to take center stage.
He was a good general and a protective partner, but arguing with him was aggravating. Aquamarine was tired enough already without adding a new level exhaustion to it.
So he did as Jet bid him to and teleported behind him. Unfortunately, Jet had the benefit of a dual-sided weapon, which made the effort less successful than Aquamarine knew it would be against a Senshi who had no weapon at all. Aquamarine’s rapier was deadly, but not the best tool to use against what was essentially a staff with knives at both ends.
“Did you brush it off because you have killed someone and you thought it was a stupid question, or because you haven’t killed someone and that pisses you off?”
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Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2020 6:57 pm
Jet swung hard with the flat end of his weapon when Aquamarine teleported behind him, fully expecting Aquamarine to be able to parry or at least block the attack. They’d just talked about how it was so predictable after all.
“Why would I be pissed about not killing someone?” Jet scowled as he jumped back before Aquamarine had a chance to strike out at him. Killing wasn’t exactly a topic he liked to discuss. At one point in time, when he was young and foolish, he sought to kill as many senshi as possible for revenge. He hadn’t been successful, to his knowledge.
But maybe the injuries he’d caused were slowly fatal. He couldn’t exactly count what he didn’t know for sure.
“Have you killed anyone?” he growled, annoyed by the topic. He’d seen plenty of death already. Why bother talking about it? “Would you like for me to have killed others? Go on. Tell me. Am I not murderous enough? Should I start putting notches in my belt for every kill?”
Misdirected. It wasn’t Aquamarine’s fault Jet’s family was dead. In fact, Lovely and Jericho were all he had left. He couldn’t even blame Aquamarine for being curious and wanting to know. They were fighting a war, after all.
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Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2020 8:03 pm
Fencing wasn’t exactly combat training, in Aquamarine’s opinion, but it was still training that benefited him. He blocked Jet’s counter with ease, though their vastly different weapons made it a bit awkward. Jet might be more dutiful than him, more passionate about the Negaverse and its goals, but Aquamarine was at least the better fighter.
Technically. That didn’t mean he excelled at it, just that he could hold his own against someone who hadn’t had any training until his service to the Negaverse began.
“You know I haven’t,” Aquamarine said, “just like you know I wouldn’t care if you had.”
Murder and death were not accomplishments Aquamarine had any interest in acquiring. He would if he had to — to defend himself, or to protect Jet — but he had no desire to seek their enemies out specifically to end their lives. Jet, on the other hand, wanted revenge.
Or he had. Things had a way of changing over time.
Rather than dart forward for another attack, Aquamarine decided to hang back, reacquiring his previous defensive position.
“Why so angry?” he asked. “Does it make you feel inadequate that there are other Generals with actual kills to their name? Maybe you think they’ve accomplished more than you have, even if you might have been around longer than some of them.”
Was he goading Jet on purpose?
Maybe. If Jet was going to rope him into sparring, Aquamarine was going to make it as irritating as possible for him.
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2020 5:38 pm
Jet scowled, confused as to why Aquamarine was needling him with these kinds of questions, and not knowing how to feel about himself after everything.
There were plenty of Generals who had been promoted without having killed anyone. Once, Jet would have liked nothing more than to kill each and every senshi that crossed his path.
But all of his recruits so far had turned out to be senshi. And as frustrating as it was, he didn't want them dead. It was… a waste of resources. <******** you," he growled, charging forward when Aquamarine took up a defensive position. This time, Jet teleported as he lunged, but instead of teleporting behind Aquamarine, he teleported directly in front of him, only closing about a foot between where he'd been before.
He didn't use his weapon, but instead aimed a kick to Aquamarine's shoulder, having teleported slightly higher off the ground than his initial jump. He had no intention of actually harming Aquamarine, and he knew their weapons were deadly. Maybe with practice weapons he would go all out, but for now, he was just frustrated…
And upset.
Was he inadequate? He'd never been super confident in himself or his abilities, but he was ambitious and pushed himself harder than he thought anyone else would push themselves.
He was a General, but he had almost no combat training other than what he'd picked up from being in the Negaverse. It was difficult to train when he needed to work a full time job to pay the bills, at least until recently.
He had recruits, but he knew he couldn't provide them the same bloodlust other Generals offered to their recruits. Some wanted nothing more than blood, and would do anything to get it.
What did Jet want? He wanted the Negaverse to win the war, of course. He wanted Aquamarine to be happy. He wanted Seraphinite to have a good life. He wanted his recruits to better themselves for the sake of the Negaverse.
He knew others looked at him and saw a kid with a lot of energy, but still just a kid. Jet was still fighting against that.
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2020 7:25 pm
Aquamarine was expecting Jet to teleport behind him — to mock him or to prove a point — so he was turning to parry when Jet appeared in front of him instead. He didn’t have the chance to correct his mistake, because Jet’s foot struck his shoulder.
Knocked off balance, Aquamarine stumbled and hit the ground ********,” he swore, lifting a hand to his shoulder, which throbbed painfully. “What the ******** was that for?”
Luckily, it wasn’t dislocated or otherwise injured, though he expected to have a nasty bruise there before long. Aquamarine dropped his rapier with a clatter. He sat on the ground and glared up at Jet, massaging the soreness from his shoulder.
“What the ******** is your problem? You know I don’t think any of that s**t about you,” he said. “I was asking if that’s how you felt. <********>, I’ve literally said I think you could be a competent leader and you should take more initiative. I don’t know why you think I deserve to have my shoulder knocked out.”
Yes, he’d been goading Jet, and yes, he could be an absolute b***h about it, but he thought Jet knew that. He thought Jet could tell the difference between his goading and what he actually thought.
Aquamarine climbed back to his feet, leaving his rapier where it was on the ground.
“Jeez, sorry for being a p***k,” he said, though the hostility in his voice meant it didn’t sound like much of an apology. “But if you want to beat the s**t out of someone, maybe pick someone who isn’t me.”
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Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2020 1:00 pm
Aquamarine not expecting him to pull a trick like that was exactly why Jet thought they should be training more. Why the hell would he do the exact same thing he’d just told Aquamarine to do to him?
Still, when Aquamarine was knocked to the ground, Jet turned to watch him with growing concern, but it quickly turned back to frustration.
“Why the ******** didn’t you dodge?” he growled, dismissing his weapon before he had the urge to hurl it across the room to let off steam. “We were sparing! Of course I was going to try to attack you!” his voice cracked under increased hysterics, distressed at how stupid it was that Aquamarine would think that suddenly they weren’t swinging weapons at each other.
“I don’t want to beat the s**t out of you! I wanted to train with you!” If he wasn’t riled up before, he certainly was now. He had not intended to actually hurt Aquamarine, which was why he didn’t use his weapon to attack. He was hoping that his kick would have been avoided, but his expectations were clearly too high.
“You’re the one who started throwing bullshit questions at me like if I feel inadequate! Of course I feel ******** inadequate! I don’t know what the ******** I’m doing, I’m just trying to make sure we survive,” he hissed, wondering if Aquamarine knew how much of a nerve he’d hit with a question like that.
“How am I supposed to feel? I was sixteen when I was made a General. I had to work to pay for bills and ate ******** pasta with butter instead of learning how to fight properly. And if I did try fighting and got hurt, I couldn’t afford the medicine to get better,” he said as he paced, looking as though he was torn between approaching Aquamarine to see if he was okay and keeping his distance.
“My family was dead and until you actually started acting like you gave a damn about me, I only had Jericho, but he had his own family,” he continued, slipping into civilian names in his rambling. “You always got on me about fighting when I didn’t have to, but I did. If I didn’t fight, I would feel even more worthless. At least when I was fighting, I felt like I could do something, even if I had no idea what I was doing! No, I haven’t ******** killed anyone. Because I’ve been too inadequate to manage it when fighting senshi, and apparently too soft to kill innocent civilians.”
It pissed him off when others bragged about how many they’d killed because it both made him feel as though he wasn’t good enough, but also because he was disgusted at how easy it was for someone to end another life.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said, but unlike Aquamarine, he sounded genuine about it.
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Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2020 4:07 pm
Aquamarine let Jet rant, even if he wanted to cut in with a few arguments of his own. He rolled his eyes and continued to rub at his shoulder. Half of him felt guilty and the other half of him was annoyed that they were down here to begin with.
“Then congratulations, you’re not a ******** monster,” he countered, unable to hold back the lingering hostility. “What would be the point of killing a ******** civilian anyway? It’s s**t for PR.”
He took a breath and sighed, blowing some of the hair out of his face. It kept falling over his eyes and getting in the way. Even after shaking it away, it shifted right back into place, prompting Aquamarine to shove one of his hands through it. He scratched at his scalp to relieve some of the aggravation, only it didn’t work very well at all.
Arguing was a habit, but it didn’t help anything. Aquamarine watched Jet pace, allowing a moment of silence to drift over them. Of course he knew Jet felt all these things. He wasn’t an idiot. He could see it every time Jet put duty before his own safety. The Negaverse meant something to Jet, because Jet didn’t have much else.
Except Lovely, but even Lovely had to admit he probably wasn’t enough. He was a b***h with a bad attitude, emotionally constipated and probably unable to give Ilian all that he might need because of it.
“Look, if it’ll make you feel better, then we can train. Whatever,” Aquamarine said, summoning his rapier back into his hand, though he didn’t take up a defensive position again, just stood there waiting for Ilian to work through his anger. “But you and I both know how much bullshit this is. The war should be over by now, but it’s not, and that’s not our fault, it’s—”
The Queen’s. The General Sovereigns’. Mettalia’s. Whoever. All of the above. The ones with the power and the authority who did… what, exactly?
But he couldn’t say any of that. Not down here, at least.
“Ilian,” he said, dropping their stupid powered names for the sake of reminding them both that they were more than that. His voice lowered, too — a bit less hostile, but still insistent. “I literally do not care if you kill every Senshi on the planet, or if you never kill anyone at all. You’re still a thousand times better than any of the ******** who have. I was just being a b***h because I hate being down here. I don’t think you’re inadequate. I think everyone else is. They’ve had years to end the war and they haven’t, because the chaos makes them bloodthirsty and being bloodthirsty makes them stupid or something, I don’t know.”
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Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2020 6:15 pm
Jet knew he was probably overreacting. He focused so much on staying active and ignoring the lingering dread and sorrow he felt. Sometimes it ate away at him, festering and rotting, until there was nothing but his desire to fight. Other times, quieter times, he was reminded that there was more to live for, that the Negaverse might not actually be the be all and end all.
Those times usually were around Lovely, or Jericho, or even his recruits when he got over his guilt enough to try and get to know them. They were all senshi, and he’d sworn to himself to kill all senshi, but… that obviously couldn’t be the case.
He stopped pacing as Aquamarine summoned back his rapier, but he shook his head. The training had kind of lost its luster for the moment. He didn’t want to end up hurting Aquamarine again. Even now, even though he’d reacted poorly and hurt Aquamarine as a result, Aquamarine was still trying to make him feel better.
Jet wasn’t sure if he could feel better at the moment. His throat was tight with emotion, but he grit his teeth and held himself back from expressing it for as long as he could manage. He knew Aquamarine wasn’t good with things like feelings and didn’t want to force it on him to deal with.
How Lovely couldn’t look at him and think he was inadequate was beyond his comprehension. He was essentially a nobody. No family, no money. He’d only been able to keep a roof over his head because Lovely had moved in with him and helped out with the rent.
He wasn’t like Lovely, who was confident in who he was, and fought to get what he wanted, and fought even harder to keep what he had. He was smart and took risks when he had to, such as moving away from his wealthy family or rescuing Jet from when he’d been kidnapped. Ilian had always admired Lovely, even if he had a grating personality to many, but to Ilian it was just something that made Lovely unique. Special.
Even now, Lovely seemed to see something about Ilian that no one else could. Or maybe it was only Ilian who couldn’t see it.
“What if I do end up bloodthirsty…?” he asked, his voice quiet but deeper with the emotion threatening him. “If Chaos takes over and I end up just like everyone else…?” Because it was a very real possibility the longer the war went on.
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Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2020 8:35 pm
Aquamarine shrugged. “Then you’ll do bloodthirsty better than everyone else, too.”
Maybe he shouldn’t make light of it. Chaos had a way of taking over; Aquamarine knew that well enough. It was powerfully persuasive, and forceful in nature when persuasion didn’t work. It rotted the soul, twisted the good in people to do its bidding, destroyed them from the inside out, until there was nothing left but evil and violence. He’d seen enough over the years that he knew there was good and evil on boths sides of the war, but he had a front row seat to the many different faces of evil that existed in their own ranks.
Either one of them could fall victim to it; maybe they already had. Chaos could warp Jet’s lust for revenge, twist his ambition into something ugly and vindictive. It could distort Aquamarine’s protectiveness, turn it into an obsession, make him vengeful and destructive, make him so consumed by his determination to keep Jet alive that he became careless with his own life, and ultimately made mistakes that would make all his efforts meaningless.
“It doesn’t matter,” Aquamarine insisted. “I already told you I don’t care. I don’t care. Do whatever it takes. Kill, don’t kill, kidnap, torture, make friends with the enemy, or throw all of this away if you want to,” he continued, making a sweeping gesture around them. “I don’t care what you do, I’m still going to be there. I told you before, it’s you and me. Chaos or no chaos, it doesn’t change anything.”
He dismissed his weapon since it seemed Jet’s interest in sparring was waning. Aquamarine couldn’t say he was disappointed. It always felt like a waste of time.
“You’re not an idiot,” he said. “Maybe I call you one sometimes, but so what? You think you don’t know what you’re doing? You do, you’re just scared to do it because it means dedicating more time and effort to something that might fail anyway. You know what needs to be done to make this s**t better, because you’re not blind to its faults. You want it to be better. None one else cares like that, and if they do, I haven’t met them.”
Which might not be saying much, since he tended to avoid most other people, but Aquamarine thought he’d observed enough over the years to make that statement confidently.
“So make it better,” he continued. “You don’t think you have enough power to do that? ******** it, who cares. Power isn’t everything. You think you don’t know how? Start at the beginning. Pick a problem and find the solution. Just now, you and I were sparring against each other, fighting against bladed weapons when we should have been practicing against magic. Fix that. This place is a disaster. People can stay in the barracks if they have nowhere else to go, but who’d want to when this place is a shithole? Fix that.”
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Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2021 1:41 pm
How could it be so easy for Aquamarine to just accept anything he did, even before he did it? He didn’t care if Jet became a bloodthirsty killer? Or if he kidnapped and tortured others, as he’d been kidnapped and tortured? Or if he decided to do none of that…?
Aquamarine seemed so sure of himself that it made Jet wonder what he’d done to deserve that kind of loyalty and devotion. Jericho had always been loyal to him, but they were basically brothers, having grown up in the system together. Lovely had been his rival turned fake-boyfriend turned… what? He knew what they were legally, but what were they to each other? They never really discussed it and he knew Lovely would never want to.
For Aquamarine’s sake, he swallowed down the swelling of emotion in his throat and blinked away the tears that threatened to form in his eyes. He felt so overwhelmed by everything, that Aquamarine’s encouragement only meant he was more susceptible to caving.
How about that for an apparently not inadequate General? Was crying even allowed in the Negaverse?
And fighting against magic did make more sense, but getting Aquamarine in the same room with a senshi to spar would have been more difficult than to volunteer himself. But Jet was well aware of the importance of learning how to deal with magic. It was why he often allowed himself to be hit with his opponent’s magic in order to figure out what they could do, and what he could handle. Fixing up the barracks and the rest of the castle was another pipe dream of his. It would have been so much easier to survive if he could have just lived in Negaspace instead of worrying about rent.
“You know I love you, right?” he said before he could change his mind. He’d never said it out loud, even though they’d been together for years. It just seemed important to make sure Lovely knew, because Ilian wasn’t exactly the best at expressing himself either.
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Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2021 4:55 pm
Aquamarine’s brain immediately shorted out.
How the ******** was he supposed to respond to that?
His mouth opened and closed a few times like he planned to say something, but no words came to him, just a few soft, strangled sounds that could be the result of shock or frustration, or some combination of the two. For a few moments, he couldn’t even move, locked into place where he’d stood after Jet kicked him, looking like a fool in his dumb magical uniform, hands empty of his dumb magical weapon, with his hair half obscuring his face because it never wanted to stay in place when he pushed it back.
Flushing brightly, Aquamarine struggled to make it look angry instead of embarrassed.
“... Okay…” he finally managed to choke out.
He knew that wasn’t enough; if either of the two of them were inadequate, it was Aquamarine. He hated expressing or talking about his feelings because he didn’t know how, and everything he thought of to try seemed so stupid, so he thought it was best to just… let it be. His actions should speak louder than words anyway, right?
The color in his face darkened. Awkwardly, he looked from Jet off to the side, then down at his feet, which kicked at a piece of debris that’d probably been there since the Senshi invasion.
Stupid ******** Senshi.
“Look…” he began, which seemed like a stupid thing to start with since he wasn’t exactly showing Jet anything. “I don’t have a dad and my mom goes back and forth between smothering me and neglecting me. My brothers aren’t the most affectionate people and I don’t have any other friends. I’ve never dated anyone, so… no one’s ever taught me any of this s**t.”
He waved a hand between them like that was enough of an explanation.
“It’s weird and uncomfortable and I hate feeling stupid,” Aquamarine continued, letting more of his hair fall into his face so he could hide behind it. “But, like… if it wasn’t so awkward… I could say the same about you, or whatever...”
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Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2021 7:53 pm
Okay, so Jet felt a little guilty about apparently making Aquamarine speechless. He knew that he probably shouldn’t have said something like that in Negaspace of all places, but it felt like the right moment. He didn’t exactly have many good opportunities to lead into it normally.
Slowly, because he didn’t want Aquamarine to feel spooked while obviously not feeling very comfortable, Jet approached him. He reached out to place a hand on the shoulder he’d kicked, massaging it gently, although he knew Aquamarine would benefit from some ice, or at least a frozen bag of peas.
“I know. I get it. I haven’t said anything like that since my parents,” Jet mumbled with a shrug, giving Aquamarine at least some space by not looking him in the eye at the moment. Maybe if he didn’t feel as though he was being stared down, he wouldn’t feel so weird about the whole thing.
“I figured you did. At least… with how you talk to me sometimes. Like you just were,” he admitted, lowering his hand from Aquamarine’s shoulder so he wouldn’t accidentally hurt it more. He couldn’t exactly say many people would willingly remain by his side if he was a bloodthirsty murderer, but Aquamarine made it clear that it didn’t matter what Jet did, that he would be there with him.
“What I mean…” he tried to clarify, because he didn’t want Aquamarine to take it the wrong way. “You already kind of say it… in your own way, so… if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you don’t have to worry about me… you know… knowing… since it’s awkward and stuff.”
They were both kind of awkward and emotionally messed up. Lovely didn’t have a perfect childhood or loving family, and Ilian’s had died when he was still young. He understood it was weird, and it took him this long to even say it out loud to Lovely.
“It’s easier to not question myself when you’re around. At least I know you’ll tell me if I’m being stupid.”
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2021 11:05 am
It was little more than stubbornness that kept Aquamarine rooted firmly in place as Jet approached. He might have bolted otherwise, stepped back to keep some distance between them, or turned and fled altogether. Speaking these things out loud was weird enough. Touching during the exchange was almost more than Aquamarine could bear, even if he generally didn’t mind being touched by Jet, especially when that touch was something as simple as having the soreness massaged from his shoulder.
But he thought leaving might make Jet feel worse again. Aquamarine might hate all this emotional stuff, but that was mostly because he didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t actually want Jet to feel like s**t. If he could, Aquamarine would do everything in his power to instill Jet with confidence and determination, and a sense of pride. Aquamarine tried, in his own way. Maybe it was never going to be enough, no matter what Jet said to acknowledge his actions.
“You’re always stupid,” Aquamarine mumbled very quietly under his breath, keeping his head ducked so he could continue to avoid Jet’s gaze and hide behind his hair.
Suddenly, the fact that it fell into his face so much didn’t seem nearly as annoying as before.
The insult was a habit and lacked any of Aquamarine’s usual aggressive tendencies. In fact, he almost sounded… affectionate.
Aquamarine shifted on his feet, forcing some movement into his tense body, trying to work out the discomfort, to feel like himself again. He brought one foot forward to touch the toe of his boot against the toe of Jet’s shoe, which was the most he could manage for an affectionate gesture.
At least right now. Later, when things returned to normal, he could kiss Ilian and curl up in bed beside him without feeling like a fool.
It took a few moments, but Aquamarine eventually managed to lift his eyes to Jet’s, once the heat in his face had cooled somewhat. He stared at him defiantly, finally shaking the hair out of his face, as if to prove that he could work through the awkwardness and adapt. His gaze dropped to Jet’s mouth, leaning closer…
But instead of a kiss, Jet would suddenly feel the point of Aquamarine’s dagger beneath his chin.
Aquamarine managed a brazen grin. “You shouldn’t let your guard down, General.”
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