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 Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 12:57 pm
Priam had been doing his best to take it easy, to rest. He had a bad habit of pushing himself too hard and had to be herded back to bed, or back to the couch, but he was trying. Constantly worried that he was intruding, he tried to ask for as little help as possible.
It took him nearly forty minutes to get dressed in the morning, just so he didn't have to ask for help. It wasn't like he really had much else to do, but he knew that his stubbornness was probably just making things worse for himself.
He was healing, but slowly. Too slowly. He was restless, sore, and worried about being a burden, no matter how many times Sterling and Yu each assured him he wasn't. He knew Yu was home right now, and he knew he'd been told to call if he needed anything.
Instead, he had pried himself up from the couch--and the cheesy, romantic Christmas movie that he'd had on in the background while he was reading on his phone. He'd been in the house for a while now, long enough that it did feel like it could have been a second home. It had been a good few days since he'd left the hospital, and the more time he spent in the house here, the more he grew to love it. The dogs had adopted it, but they'd been here for longer than he had, and they had learned to be gentle with him. He'd even had both of them resting on the couch with him earlier, until Oreo saw a bird on the windowsill and they'd all gathered to observe.
Priam exhaled; it was a good time to take a few more aspirin--but more than that, he was hungry. It was a good time for lunch, and he justified that even he could make a simple sandwich and a cup of tea. With Sterling out and Yu nowhere in sight, he pushed himself up--carefully--and made his way to the kitchen. Even now, he considered it Yu's sacred ground, so he tried to take as little room as possible as he began to pour some water so he could heat it up. He spilled some, but that was fine. He'd clean it up. It wasn't on the ground, so he wasn't going to slip on it. Probably. The worst of it was the water that soaked into his too-long sweater sleeve, but he could just roll that up and it wouldn't be too troublesome.
Probably.
He bumped into things; the cast on his arm seemed to always get in his way, but he supposed it was good that it was doing its job and making sure he didn't hurt himself worse while it healed up. He wasn't exactly quiet, despite his best efforts to be.
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 1:36 pm
Yu cleared his throat from the doorway; whatever room he’d emerged from, he stood now in the mouth of the kitchen, leaning in the door frame, not yet having crossed that threshold. He, too, treated it like a sort of sacred space. If someone else were already in the kitchen, he would hesitate and make himself known. “Mmmm - I was going to make some lunch. Do you want to…share?” He didn’t specifically offer to help or take over, just offered an option—a pathway of less resistance of a sort. His hair was a -mess- like he’d perhaps collapsed somewhere and gotten up, but he was trying to untangle it with his fingers, a pencil tucked into a pocket that he was likely to use it to put his hair back as he was to find any sort of a hair tie. “Got some um… well, theirs some lunch meat. Uh… bit of pasta salad.” “You can tell me how not to botch the tea… I understand that’s quite a thing. Botching it, I mean… bit like cookies.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 1:52 pm
"Yu!" Priam exclaimed, nearly dropping the cup he'd been holding. He had to force himself to put it down on the countertop to make sure it was out of the danger zone.
"I didn't hear you come in. I'm so sorry. --Did I wake you up?"
He wasn't certain; Yu's hair was in a style he wasn't sure looked intentional. "--I can get out of your hair." He felt like he took up more space than usual, even if it was only just the natural thickness of the cast, and the fact that he was so stiff he felt like he was a walking block.
"It's just--just tea. I had...ah. I was going to try and make a sandwich or something," he confessed, and shuffled a little bit to try and work his way out of the kitchen to return it to Yu. "I didn't want to bother you. It's not even a fancy tea, I was just going to microwave the water and let the tea bag steep. I can manage that much," he promised, but he was watching his cast very closely to make sure he didn't bump into anything as he moved out of the way.
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 2:06 pm
Yu laughed softly. “I got told that was ruining tea once. If that’s ok I can do tea a lot faster for you now!” He flashed a grin, sharp and shy. “I… could make us both a sandwich… trade you if you can tell me how the hell people -actually- put their hair back with a stick.” He made a face and tugged at a trailing length of it. “Thought it would be faster for like, work and things.” He knew it worked when he was ‘in uniform’ but that hardly counted did it, there was some kind of ‘magic’ s**t going on there and it went well beyond ‘magical hair ties’. “And Nah, I wasn’t really asleep. I kinda doze, that’s all.” He waved a hand. “Keeps me alert that kidney stompers and or horses who think they heard me snoring.” He moved into the kitchen, close to the edges in a way, pulling a chair out and waving a gentle hand towards the chair.
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 2:33 pm
Priam eyed the chair, eyed Yu, and then nodded, migrating to it and carefully settling himself into it. "Thank you," he said, and seemed to just melt into it. "I'm trying to stay somewhat mobile. My back is constantly protesting, but I'd rather that than a blood clot."
He leaned forward a bit, trying not to strain any part of himself as he settled down.
"I just want something warm for my throat, I don't care if it's 'ruining the tea' or not. I just want hot water and a bag of seeped leaves. And I'd love a sandwich," he said, speaking over his growling stomach. "But I'm afraid I've got no answer for your hair concerns. I honestly don't know how you and Sterling keep it so long. Honestly, I'd cut mine shorter if I wasn't afraid of people seeing the scar on my neck."
Scars, now, maybe. His good arm reached up without much thought to brush across tender skin. His neck wasn't broken, his back wasn't broken, his pelvis wasn't broken. Bruised. Bruised to hell, but healing.
"Do you really only doze?" he asked, still seeming a bit distracted as he traced shapes onto his neck. "Never deep sleep, or are you teasing?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 3:26 pm
“Fair… I uh…I can take walks with you and the Dogs maybe?” He offered. He started pulling out the pieces to make a sandwich. “Do you want your bread toasted?” He asked, glancing over at Priam. The question about the scar on his neck rose and fell in his eyes; curiosity countered with the knowledge that sometimes you just didn’t ask people. “I just…don’t cut mine because I don’t like people touching it that way.” He shrugged. “I don’t know if I mentioned bowl cuts or not, but that was a thing.” He shuddered. “We could get you like, a tattoo to cover it; people are doing that more and more with Scars, I guess.” He was thoughtful and distracted. “…not sure I could afford that.” He laughed softly. The question about sleep dragged his attention back from laying out lunchmeat and condiments. “Uh…” He froze for a moment, clearly weighing if he might have said something wrong, something… unusual, before he shrugged. “Just means I’m a light sleeper. I get enough.” “Are you sleeping, ok? New place, different corners, different sounds.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 4:29 pm
Priam tilted his head as he watched Yu; it was a slight gesture, more so because there was only so much he could move it before his body started protesting. There was a lot to process, and he didn't know where to start--so he started with the bread.
"Toasted, but only if you're doing the same. Otherwise, no, thank you."
He wondered if Yu had somehow caught him waking up in his sleep again last night; he had to consider just how light of a sleeper he was. He hadn't thought he made any noise, hadn't even gotten out of bed. "I'm sleeping fine, thank you. I take medicine before bed, it usually knocks me out. And Odie and Penny haven't stepped on me yet, they just curl up next to me, so the warmth definitely helps."
He owed Sterling everything for convincing him to go that day; he didn't know if anything would have been different if he hadn't gotten them--except, there would be a huge hole in his heart.
His eyes drifted from the spot on the counter he'd been staring at and he glanced to Yu so he could watch what he was making.
"You mentioned the bowl cut," he said, with such a fond little smile that it was obvious he'd never forget. "I think I'd be worried with someone tattooing my neck. I don't know what I'd get." Especially not on his neck; he wasn't sure that was professional, but more than that he was worried that someone would make a mistake and snap his neck or something. "What would you get? If you could cover up your scars. --Would you want one? I've been trying to figure out what to get you and Sterling for Christmas. I wanted it to be something special."
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 4:42 pm
Yu pulled out a baking sheet and laid out the bread pieces for both their sandwiches before pausing to add and ask, “cheese too or just bread?” He asked, lifting some of the ‘artisanal’ cheeses. The idea of tattoos, though, made him pause, thoughtful. “I …” He hesitated. “I’m not sure of the top of my head; I got my current one in a Friday the Thirteenth Sale; it was great.” He quirked a smile. “Itchy as hell, though.” He added and then exhaled softly. “… If I were to start something like that, I guess… maybe.” He rubbed a hand at his shoulder, more or less covered by his t-shirt, fingers trailing up the intersection of shoulder and neck. “Maybe like, a snake, I think they’re pretty cool, but like… a black snake with stars around it, I guess.” Night sky metaphor, I guess.” He quirked a smile. “Some artists, I was looking them up, they just, some scars they cover up to look like it’s not a scar, I saw one where they did someone’s face. Different thing than mine, you know? But it was still really cool. “That’d be -really- expensive, though.” He added and shook his head. “I have no idea what to get you guys either.” He admitted sheepishly.
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 4:59 pm
"I could eat cheese too, if you're feeling up to it," he said, smiling gratefully. "Your idea sounds nice," he admitted, letting different images dance in his head. "...If you find someone that you like, you should tell me. If it's what you want. If I buy you cooking supplies, it seems self-serving. I'm not opposed to it, by the way. If you were to, maybe, accidentally text me something you thought you could use. But. I don't know."
He pursed his lips and seemed thoughtful.
"...Yu," he said, and found his mouth a bit dry. "...If I'm being too pushy about anything, I hope you'll tell me. I find that I don't know how to express my worth unless it is, perhaps, through worth. I don't ever want to make you uncomfortable. I'd buy you a food truck if you'd let me," he shrugged, and regretted it, because he felt a tightness from his shoulder to his fingertips. "...And I am worried, perhaps, that such a thing is overbearing. I don't want you to feel obligated to say or do anything. And I..."
He was quiet, tapping his fingers on the countertop lightly.
"Well. It's just, I've been thinking. About a lot of things. And, of course, I find myself thinking about you and Sterling, quite often."
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:32 pm
“Yu hesitated, rubbing at his arm for a moment before laying a few slices of cheese on the bread and sliding the tray into the warming oven. “I, don’t know that it’s being pushy. But, I also sort of don’t…” He hesitated unable to find words, uncomfortable with the idea of having so much… invested in him. “I don’t know what to do with the idea that you’d do that? s that awful?” He asked cautiously. “It - “ He swallowed hard. “Let me just finish the sandwiches.” He said bracing himself on the counter. He pulled an oven-mitt to get the tray out of the oven, though he very nearly forgot in all honesty. He put the meat on, the normal condiments, and cut them at an angle, sliding them onto a plate and bringing it to the table, turning to get them both drinks as well before he felt ready to do anything, say anything… He did finally sit though, exhaling nervously. “I, appreciate the thought, I am, floored that you’d even consider it. But…” He took a breath and let it out. “I, feel like I’d, never be able to balance that out. I’m not super good with gifts, I guess.” He bit the inside of his cheek. He didn’t… trust them. There were too often strings attached and even knowing… knowing that Priam wouldn’t do that, didn’t make the anxiety any easier to beat down. His fingers danced on the counter, and then he reached out gingerly to touch Priam’s hand. “I just, I do… love you.” He murmured. “I’m sort of s**t… at a lot of things. Please don’t be… mad. If you decide that means you only want to be with Sterling and we share loving him, that’s ok. I’d understand that you know?”
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:57 pm
Priam had fallen into respectful, contemplative silence while Yu cooked. He was anxious, more worried that he had said the wrong thing, but he didn't want to speak over Yu or disrupt him from the sandwiches.
He waited for him to take a seat, to touch his hand, to finish speaking.
But, mad? Only be with Sterling?
His eyes shot up and his brows narrowed; he reached over to rest his hand atop of Yu's. He was still new to physical contact with him; Sterling was so much more open, and even Priam seemed a bit afraid to initiate anything.
"No, no," he said softly. "That isn't what I meant. To be honest, I was..."
He inhaled, held the breath for as long as his lungs would let him, and then he exhaled.
"I think you might do anything to make him happy. You mentioned that he was your first relationship. And I've seen the way you look at him, I know how much he means to you. I think...of all of us, Sterling is undeniably the most open with his feelings. And I think he might wear his heart on his sleeve. Really, what it is, that's been on my mind...Well. I worry. I think I was worried that..."
Were there words to make this easy? Was there some harmless way to say it? Was he just making himself sound stupid?
Finally, he blurted it, "I think I was worried that maybe you might have agreed to, well, me, just because it was something he wanted. And I just. I don't want to be something that's forced on you, even if it's just because you think it will make him happy. Because--I know what it's like to just keep agreeing to things, even if you don't want them, just because you think it'll make someone happy. And--you don't seem like a pushover, but. I know that love sometimes makes people do or say things and I just."
He swallowed. "Well--I just wanted to hear it from you. That. That it wasn't Sterling speaking for you. I'm so afraid that I'm intruding. I don't want to be some sort of homewrecker."
Yu's hand was warm under his. It felt nice. Soft even--softer than he'd expected, for the young man that seemed half snarls and sharp teeth. Priam's hand was light atop of Yu's, like he wanted to make sure that he knew he could draw away at any point in time.
"...I don't want to mess things up. I know you two were happy. I don't want to be some catalyst. I don't want to ruin this. I know how good this is for you. I just..." He gave his hand a little squeeze. "...I just wanted to know that you wanted this because you wanted this, not because anyone else wanted to, or thought you should. And if you had any doubts, if you had any concerns, if you didn't want it, I would want to know. I want you to be happy and comfortable. Safe. And loved."
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:18 pm
Yu - blinked, blinked again rapidly, and shook his head very slightly side to side as though he wasn’t sure what he just heard. “W-no!” He shook his head. “No, I’m not, if anyone was trying to, If I felt pressured to do anything, I’d have cut and run.” He shook his head firmly. Literally… cut and run was the part he didn’t need to detail. “I know better than to do a lot of things, even if I care.” He promised. “I know when to leave a situation. Besides, you’re not a homewrecker; we both invited you in, I mean to our lives…” He hesitated to flick at a corner of toasted bread with the thumb of his free hand. “Want me to pick a safe word if I feel pressured?” The offer was half teasing, half-serious. “Cause if it’d make you feel better, I will.” He rubbed his hand through the tangle of hair till it caught on a more serious knot and yanked at it till he pulled it free. “I know that the…absence of bad behavior doesn’t mean good behavior. Hell, I’m like… the poster child for that. But If I felt like that was a thing here, or in …any of this. Man, I’d be… gone like an ice cube on a hot griddle. I mean, the bubbling would be swearing, but I think my first word was a cuss, so….” He shook his head and gave a small smile. "Just...don't make a food truck appear for Christmas; I'd probably go live in the closet till I remembered how to breathe again."
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 6:50 pm
Priam looked relieved and settled into the chair a bit more, hand still resting atop Yu's. "I won't!" he promised. "I don't want you to feel trapped, I won't ever buy you anything that costs more than your car. I make a lot of money, but not that much," he promised. "Besides. No one should make a purchase that large without thinking about it and talking it over with people they trust and care about. So I will never surprise you like that. Honestly, I'd be horrified, too," he confessed.
"I don't even like presents, I don't think. I mean, not in the traditional sense. I don't like being given presents out of obligation. What do I want? I want to see you learning something new, every now and then. I want to see you having fun. I want to know you'll treat yourself to a bubble bath after a long day, or that you'll spoil yourself when you've worked extra hard and deserve it. If you must get me something..."
He seemed to have found some comfort in rubbing his thumb over the back of Yu's hand as he spoke. "...I'd want something small. Something I can carry with me, so that when I'm having a bad day, I can pull it out of my pocket, and just think about what's waiting for me back home. Or something sappy. A love letter," he teased, but he was undeniably sincere and clearly ranked it among the most meaningful gifts one could receive.
"...Of course, I'd probably be happy if you did just promise to talk to me if there was ever an issue. Even if that means you have to sneak a safe word into conversation. It would make me feel better to know that we have some secret out if you need a change in conversation. For example," he moved his hand to the one Yu kept rubbing through his hair, taking it gently and drawing it away from his hair. "If you want an out for any of this, why don't we find a brush, and I'll work that out for you. You look like you're hurting yourself."
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 7:27 pm
“I think Sterling found a good lead on a salvaged clawfoot tub, so we might be able to see about bubble baths.” He offered and then grinned. “Tell you what, we eat, then we see about finding a brush. I can probably think of something for um… keeping with you.” He offered. He took his free hand and reached out to brush a finger down Priam’s nose. “I’ll try and think of a safe word too.” He said with a quirk of a smile. “Cause… I don’t, mind talking really, I just, I’m working on it. I… promise though if something comes up in the relationship, I will…tell you.” He nodded. “But you need to tell us too, okay?” “Also if you don’t like the sandwich.” He said pointing to it. “I get not wanting to ask for help but, we’re here to help you and stuff.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 17, 2020 7:49 pm
Priam paused, realizing that he hadn't touched the sandwich yet, but he clarified quickly, "I've got one decent hand and I wanted to hold yours for a moment. But I'm certain it's perfect, you know that," he smiled.
He couldn't help but smile at the touch to his nose, and he released Yu's hand so he could pick up the sandwich. He was gentle with his other arm; it was that shoulder that gave him the most grief and he didn't want to try lifting anything up to his lips with it.
He took a bite and chewed, partly for show and partly because he was hungry; he swallowed it quickly so he could speak again, but only after affirming, "It tastes wonderful, as expected. Thank you, so much for it. And that promise means a lot to me, so," a little huff, more out of exasperation that he was making a promise he wasn't sure he wanted to keep, "I will tell you too. I just need...time to adjust. I've talked to you more about, you know, things, than I have Sterling. But I'm worried I'm going to hit a wall I didn't know was there. I hope, when it happens, you both know it isn't your fault. I hope you know that I find so much comfort being in your presence. And I can't help but wonder if I've loved you both for a while now, and that I've only just forgotten what it was like to feel such a thing. It's so strange, Yu. I remember the first time I fell in love. Wasted on someone who wasn't worth it. But this."
He looked at the sandwich and smiled, and then look at Yu as he held the smile.
"...This is so nice, Yu. I find myself having all of these silly ideas. Wake up early and make you both heart-shaped pancakes. Tuck notes in your pockets so you find them while you're out. Surprise you with bouquets of flowers. I feel giddy. Young again. Like I get a second chance to do this whole thing over again, with people worth loving. And the more I think about it, the more comfort I find in two of you! I feel...like a child with their hand in the cookie jar, if I'm being honest, though. It will be difficult not to be too needy. I do like the attention you both give me," he confessed, smiling, but a bit embarrassed in his earnestness.
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