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 Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 10:54 am
prompt Prompt 4: The village always has dull weather during the daytime, but it's easy enough to navigate through. Though the sky is cloudy and little light breaks through, by nighttime the climate changes. The air cools rapidly and within an hour of the sun setting, a chilling mist rolls from the forest and covers the village. It is almost suffocating and inhaling it even for only a moment will result in hallucinations. The visions are terrifying, often including shadows covering everything, the sensation of eternal falling, and the appearance of a great beast attacking. These hallucinations are always frightening and can last anywhere from a few moments through the entire night. There is no way to dispel the fog and it is too dangerous to stay outside past sundown.
It wasn't the time or place.
Rakovanite was pretty sure they both knew that as well as literally any other person that had been stuck in this stupid world with them. They needed to work together to survive, and camaraderie was a part of that, but it wasn't really the time or place for anything more serious. Rakovanite didn't need or expect or want anything more serious. It was just nice to have someone beside him. It was just nice to not be struggling through this alone.
They were laying on the grass in the forest, with Rakovanite propped back against a tree. When he turned to peek around the trunk, he could see the village, ever in sight, as though it was barely more than a few yards away.
Narcissus was laid out beside him, his long, tangled lavender tresses looking like snakes in the grass where they lay splayed around him.
It was so... silent here. No wind whistling through the trees, making the leaves rustle. No birds chirping. No insects buzzing. There was just nothing. Nothing but silence, and a dreary darkness that felt more amplified here in the forest under a canopy of leaves than it did even in the village. When Rakovanite put his back to the village and faced forward into the trees, he may as well have been alone, for all the evidence that suggested otherwise.
He inhaled, and the sound of air rushing into his lungs and the feel of his heart thrumming against his ribcage, was all that suggested this was not a simple hallucination. It was all that suggested he was still here and not... somewhere else.
Rakovaite's fingers slid slowly across the grass until they bumped Narcissus' arm. He slipped them up and over the senshi's chest until his palm was laying flat over Narcissus' heart, feeling the steady pulse of another person gently assuring, 'Alive. Here. Real.' With every beat. 'Real. Real. Real.' Rakovanite couldn't be sure if that was good at this point, but it at least felt true. Like a fact. Something to hold onto and that could be relied upon.
'Real. Real. Real.'
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 1:42 pm
Maybe Narcissus liked a little danger. He wouldn't say it, and he would never wish for it. But maybe he didn't mind a little exhilaration.
Rather, he knew he didn't mind it. Basyl's schedule was typically pretty full, and he was accustomed to being busy. Often he was shadowing doctors who were working with abrupt, severe injuries (Destiny City certainly had a lot of them), and the risk for losing lives was certainly there. He didn't have to make any decisions, himself, yet, but in a few months, he would... And that was it's own brand of thrill. It's own brand of exhilaration and excitement and danger, with genuine risks involved.
But here there was a lot of waiting and silence. The danger still existed! The potential horror of the locale wasn't lost on him. But it wasn't immediate at all hours. Only the night was truly treacherous, leaving the days to be... mostly stagnant. Basyl wasn't accustomed to 'stagnant.'
But for the amount of time he'd been here, he wouldn't say it was the worst.
Narcissus folded his arms behind his head, lazily observing the way Rakovanite's gaze fixed on the dark forest ahead. He couldn't say for sure, but he thought the agent still looked really... Uncomfortable? Stiff? Anxious? He shifted a little, drawing nearer to the other man as he murmured out a gentle, "Are you okay-? Oh." Rakovanite's hand was on his chest, and Narcissus felt his muscles tense as a flurry of doubt fluttered through his mind.
The same sharp stab of anxiety he'd felt when Rakovanite had put his hand on his chest in Destiny City, and Narcissus had though for certain the agent was trying to rip his starseed. He didn't want to act so hastily again, and he forced himself to be still. And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
But nothing more happened. Of course he'd hoped nothing more would happen, but he still didn't really get why this had been in experience on multiple occasions. Rakovanite still wasn't even looking at him, just... holding his hand there and giving off chilly, shaken vibes.
Narcissus slid his hand over the top of Rakovanite's, wrapping his fingers around the other man's hand just to assure him he was here. "Rak? D-do you need to talk about, um-" With the hand not holding Rakovanite's, he quickly swiped his fingers back and forth between them. "I-I really wanted you to feel better, and I wanted to feel better- And I do, but like, i-it wasn't- Rather, it doesn't have to be more than that, you know? I don't expect anything out of you, s-so...?"
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 1:14 pm
Did he feel better?
When Rakovanite looked out into the dark expanse of the forest, he thought no, he absolutely did not feel better. He was still stuck here in the same place, with no answers. Just because his body may be sated for the moment didn't make the current situation any different than it had been a handful of minutes prior. They weren't better off sitting here.
...But if he closed his eyes and splayed his fingers over Narcissus' chest and focused on that only... Maybe it was tolerable. Rakovanite had never been afraid to die, so the inevitability of what would befall them if they were trapped here for much longer wasn't what made him feel so hopeless. The monster could kill them, and he didn't think that would be any different than if he was cut down in a fight against a knight. He'd walked into this world knowing the danger and acknowledging what was likely to become of him.
It was being here and being cut off and having nothing and doing nothing. This world made him live with abandoning all traces of normalcy and every fragile connection he had. Being here was like starting over. Except it wasn't starting with a clean slate. Most of the people here would look at him and see an enemy, in black. That was what he was.
When Narcissus sat next to him, held his hand, worried over how he was feeling, Rakovanite felt slightly less solitary. Slightly less like just that "not right" thing that existed alongside everyone else.
He turned, keeping one hand on Narcissus' chest and dropping the other to the ground next to the senshi's shoulder, as he twisted to lean over the other man and murmur against his ear, "I know," Rakovanite answered quietly. "I do value the effort you put in, and I am... happy, I think that you are with me." He touched a light kiss to the side of Narcissus' neck, just beneath his ear. "It did make me feel better. You make me feel better..."
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 1:45 pm
It was hard to really understand what people were thinking all the time, especially with someone like Rakovanite, who didn't really have many expressions to go off of. Narcissus had never seen what happy or content looked like on him. Even when they'd crossed paths in Destiny City, Rakovanite had either been injured or looking for a fight. And here...
Here most people were falling hard into negativity. That wasn't anything exclusive to Rakovanite.
But as with any matter, Narcissus couldn't simply sit idle and watch while someone suffered. He would never do nothing. That's what he'd always said. He wasn't a wizard who could be everywhere at once, trying to fix everyone's problems. But he would do what he could do, and the universe had seen fit to put he and Rakovanite together for this trial. All Narcissus could do was support someone who was hurting. During their weeks together, Narcissus even thought they might even be sort of friends. The struggle unified them.
He definitely hadn't thought Rakovanite would be 'happy' about it, though, so a choke of laughter bubbled out of Narcissus' throat at the statement. "No, no, I mean-" He didn't want this man getting the wrong idea and getting offended. "I'm happy you're happy. And I'm happy! To be here with you. Of course I don't like being here, but I'm not mad it's you..." He slipped his free arm over Rakovanite's shoulder, gently tugging, while the other remained on top of the other man's hand. "Laying here..." He craned his neck up, brushing his lips against Rakovanite's chin. "With me..."
'It wouldn't be enough for me.'
He remembered Rakovanite saying those words, admitting that there wasn't enough to keep him trying to survive here, but-
"It would be enough for me," Narcissus admitted. "I suppose I'm not really disposed to wanting to, uh- do anything to hurt myself, so maybe it doesn't mean that much, but it would be enough for me to keep trying to survive, to just be able to lay here with you and feel content."
And Rakovanite had those <******** biceps, god. That sure didn't hurt anything.
"Oh." But that was right. Rakovanite's hand was still on his chest. "But can I ask you something?" Narcissus prompted, lightly squeezing the agent's fingers. "Why do you always do... this?" He gestured slightly to where they were holding hands. "Even in the city, you put your hand on my chest, and I thought you were trying to kill me. So, just- What are you doing?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2020 6:01 pm
Rakovanite sometimes wished he was more versed in understanding the subtle intricacies of speech and behavior. Things of that nature weren't his forte, and they weren't straightforward enough to spend to much time wondering over. They could mean different things on different people. Sometimes they meant something significant, and sometimes they meant nothing. It was all much too convoluted for Rakovanite's tastes.
But he wished he knew why Narcissus was laughing at him and trying to... console him? Rakovanite didn't really immediately need any more verbal consoling, given the recent turn of events. He was still distraught over there predicament, but the flow of endorphins made it a less potent distress.
He lay his head on Narcissus' chest. "I am not mad it is you," he repeated in quiet agreement. Maybe with those words, he understood the sentiment a bit better. It could have been anyone else. Or no one else, but among those odds, Narcissus wasn't displeased it was him. He wasn't offended to be stuck here with Rakovanite. So that was nice. Rakovanite wasn't offended to be stuck here with Narcissus, either.
Though he did wonder if he would've been offended about anyone. Someone was better than no one, and even if the person wasn't ideal, he thought he would've put up with it, rather than be alone... He'd almost been here with only Cervantite.
Not ideal.
A quiet sigh escaped his lips. He shut his eyes. 'Content' wasn't what Rakovanite wanted to shoot for. 'Content' implied complacency. He always said he wanted 'better,' and this world was far from 'better' than what he was accustomed to. He wouldn't live like this. He wouldn't, he wouldn't, even if it was possible for both he and Narcissus to feel 'content' to be with each other.
"Hm? Oh." He did remember putting his hand on the senshi's chest when they'd been in Destincy City. That had been right before Narcissus had attacked him with his magic- apparently because he thought Rakovanite was trying to kill him. It did go against the assertion of, 'I don't think it likely you'd hurt anyone,' the senshi had told him at the time, but it was past. Rakovanite could hardly be offended about it now. "I... am unsure," he admitted, splaying his fingers wide on the senshi's chest. "It feels real. Feeling that thrum is... grounding. Even when we are in this bizarre world, encapsulated by unbreakable spells and surrounded by the whim of magic, feeling a heartbeat is just... real. Normal."
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