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 Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 3:25 pm
He tried to keep focusing on the brambles or ... roses, whatever they were that had been taking over that section of fence. He couldn’t. He kept missing what he was trying to clip because every car he heard had him jumping. It was a stupid as hell thing to be doing, but here he was. He finally tossed down the sheers into the plastic pot he’d started using to put the trowel and such into when he wasn’t using them, and stomped towards the house. Seeing another car just coming to a stop in the drive way was enough to have him real back a step before he registered the familiar face of Priam and he half sagged inch relief. He was still likely pale though he tried to put on a calm face and waved. He hoped Priam wasn’t going to mind ‘sweaty’ as his current state of being.
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 3:32 pm
Priam worried about Sterling and Yu. It wasn't a constant worry, but it was a worry nonetheless. It wasn't even always a bad worry, just little things to fuss over. Were they eating enough? Were they sleeping enough? Were they taking care of themselves? Were they safe?
He was out at the store, doing some quick shopping, just thinking about them when he decided he was going to pick them up a few things.
He didn't mean to be like this, and it wasn't until he was pulling into the driveway that he found himself suddenly worried about if this was too intrusive. He knew he should have texted, but he'd been distracted and--honestly--hadn't even intended anyone to be home. He was going to leave a little note and a little bag on the doorstep, and just head out.
"Yu," he greeted, when he stepped out of the car and held the brown paper bag to his chest. He waved, even as he stepped out of the vehicle, careful not to trip.
"I didn't think you'd be home, I hope I'm not intruding. I just wanted to stop by and drop something off."
Yu looked like he'd seen a ghost, if Priam was honest with himself, and all of that worry just sort of settled in his stomach like a rock. He approached, although it was with a bit of caution, like he didn't want to spook him further. His smile remained in place but he gave him one quick glance and couldn't hide the concern. "Are you all right?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 4:10 pm
“Yeah!” The reply was somehow too chipper, too hasty. Basically, an awful lie especially added up with his current completion setting his freckles in sharp relief against the almost bloodless look. “Great!” He added a moment later, like that would somehow make it more convincing. “I was uh… I was just cutting the roses. Saw the uh… I saw Sterling’s Ex; I didn’t kill him…promise.” He added, glancing back over his shoulder. “I uh…guess he has an herb garden, and he got called into work; I just uh… too much sun or something.” He shifted from foot to foot. “Wana go inside?” He offered. “Sorry, making you stand out here and stuff.” His gaze flicked to the road for a moment as another car drove past before returning to Priam.
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 4:43 pm
Priam watched him with visible concern; he could see through the lie but might have been too polite to pry. The insistence of being all right. The way Yu was so jumpy. He nodded slowly, holding the bag to his chest. He hadn't intended to stay, but now he was even more worried about leaving.
"Yes, let's go inside. I've brought a few presents for you two, they're just silly little things." He looked over his shoulder, watching as the car drove by. Watching the way Yu watched it. His eyes were on Yu's, looking for answers to a question he hadn't even fully formed yet.
Ilya's car was in the driveway next door. Yu wasn't watching for him.
He was overcompensating, insisting that things were fine, talking about things that didn't seem to be the source of the problem. He was on edge. Priam didn't want to admit that it made him suddenly feel nervous, like he should be watching for someone.
"...Yu," he said, and bit his tongue before he gestured for him to lead the way. "...What's going on, are you expecting someone...?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 5:04 pm
“No! …I mean…” He started fumbling as he opened the door. <********.” He hissed. “No, I'm not…expecting anyone.” He said with a tone that said he was carefully choosing those words. “It’s nothing, I’m just… “ he shook his head and swung the door open to usher Priam inside. “Let’s just go inside, okay?” He said and leaned against the open door for stability. He even bumped his shoulder once Priam had gone by, thumping it hard off the door as he cut the corner.
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 5:27 pm
Priam stood in the house, looking a bit nervous; everything Yu was doing just put him further and further on edge, and his stomach churning with concern. He wanted to reach out and reassure him but was afraid of crowding him, not when he was already so jumpy.
"Yu," he said again, calmer, and sat his bag down on the nearest flat surface. "...Forgive me for prying. I'm worried about you. Is someone giving you trouble?"
He didn't know how else to ask and so he let the question just tumble out; his brows were knit and he was biting the inside of his lip as he braced himself for any sort of answer.
They were inside, safe from whatever prying eyes Yu was afraid of, but now Priam was just afraid of smothering him. He wanted to give him an out, in case the questions were too intrusive, so he asked, "Do you want me to make you something to drink, do you need to sit down? --Should I get some ice for your shoulder?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 5:39 pm
The question about the shoulder got a confused look before he realized he’d thumped it hard against the door. “I…” He started embarrassed. “It… No… no one is giving me trouble, promise.” He said and rubbed absently at his arm. “It’s dumb, something just… it just spooked me.” He huffed and then rubbed his face like he could scrape away the crawling sensation that seemed to be all under his skin. He glanced at Priam and chewed at his lip, considering. “Kitchen.” He said and led the way before fishing out the bottle of chocolate liqueur he’d gotten after Sterling’s rough night. He poured himself a few fingers and collapsed into the chair. He pulled off his gloves and picked absently at his fingernails. “He just… he said something that got me thinking about, other things. Does that make sense?” He let his gaze skitter across the table, then the floor, forgetting the drink he’d poured himself.
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 5:55 pm
Priam watched him closely, afraid he was going to miss some important clue that Yu didn't otherwise intend to vocalize; he followed him, and then when Yu sank into the chair, Priam sat down across from him, slightly hunched forward and fingers laced as he rested his elbows on his knees.
"Complete sense," he replied, glad to be making some progress. He didn't like the idea of Yu spooked, and found it all too easy to assume that Ilya had said something hurtful or threatening, even if he had been perfectly polite the whole five minutes Priam had spoken to Sterling's ex.
"He didn't try to threaten you, did he? If he's given you any trouble, I'll go over and give him a scolding. I can't stand the idea of anyone giving you a hard time."
Or worse.
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 6:07 pm
“He didn’t do anything.” He shook his head. “It…” He started and then scrubbed fingers against his scalp. This was…not something he’d prepared to even…skim over to explain, to anyone honestly. He groaned. Maybe he could skim it… but he hadn’t even talked to Yu about… any of it he didn’t think. Would telling even a little to Priam first be bad? “He didn’t do anything bad; he got called into work, he… works for CPS. I didn’t know that. It just… made me think of…” He trailed off and let out a small groan before taking a large gulp of the liquor. “I’m a foster kid, that’s all.” He rubbed his arm, scratching at the marks the bushes had left. “I hadn’t told Sterling yet; I don’t think… I’m just acting pretty stupid.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 6:21 pm
The concern didn't melt away but it softened, like Priam could breathe a little easier now that he wasn't so worried that someone was after Yu, that Ilya wasn't starting trouble.
"You're not acting stupid, Yu," he reassured. "It makes perfect sense to me. CPS makes me uncomfortable, too."
For completely different reasons, but. He wanted to tell him to take it easy with the alcohol, but then, he'd just be a hypocrite if he did. He eyed the scratches and wanted to give him something else to focus on, something to distract him.
"If you want to talk about it, I'm here." If he didn't, no pressure. "...If you don't..."
He glanced at the house and then looked back to you. "Just remember that you're home, and no one's going to take it from you. And Sterling would do anything for you, he cares so much about you."
But, things made sense, like the pieces clicked into place. All of the answers were there. Little tics that he'd noticed, little behavioral things. Priam had known something was the source of it, but now it felt a bit more focused.
Now, he understood a little more. And, Yu had trusted him with the information.
...Which meant more to Priam than he found he wanted to admit.
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 6:43 pm
He ground his palms into his forehead and sighed. He really wanted to believe that no one could come and take him, that no one could reclaim him either. But the feelings weren’t rational, and he couldn’t just explain them away. He grasped at some other part of it, something that he could hand off to explain. “I don’t… like that this still happens to kids.” He said… though it was more than that. He didn’t want to be… He didn’t want to be recognized as part of ‘the system.’ That Ilya was so…perfect, and on the ‘right’ side of the system made him some kind of awful that he couldn’t quite explain. “I should tell Sterling, I just…” He groaned. Sterling had seen his scars, but he’d been so good, he’d never asked, or judged, or done that ‘pitying’ look some people got. He felt exhausted, but he hadn’t even finished what he meant to. His eyes stung, and it was awful.
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 7:04 pm
"Tell him in your own time," Priam said, and though he very badly wanted to get up and put a hand on his shoulder to reassure him, Yu still seemed jumpy enough that he didn't want to stress him out further. "When you want to. When you're ready. He'll tell you he supports you. He'll tell you that anything that happened wasn't your fault, that he admires you for getting this far without relying on privilege. He'll tell you how much he cares about you and appreciates you. He'll probably tell you that he's proud of you."
He hesitated and then added, "I'm proud of you. And I hope you are, too. Statistically, the system is..." He didn't have to tell Yu. Yu knew first hand. "Horrible. You don't have anything to be ashamed of though, it's not some deep, dark secret that he's going to judge you for. You made it. You have a job, and a home, and I'm certain Sterling thinks of you as family, too."
He was faltering with his words, and finally just sighed. "And--I'm a doctor. I see all sorts of things. I've had to make calls, I--" he waved his hand. "--I applied to be a foster parent. It didn't work out. But I wanted to. I might still. I don't handle rejection so well," he said, sort of aware that he was rambling.
He bit his tongue, hard, to slow down. He didn't need to just keep talking, like the world would collapse if there was silence.
"I don't like that this still happens to kids, either," he finished. "...Any of it. But I do know that you're safe here."
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 7:22 pm
He had made it, but he hadn’t -made- it, that was the trouble, wasn’t it? He was bad enough that he’d ended up with bad, and then awful, and… After a while, you started scoring people who took you on on ‘not so bad’ scales, and that scale left people like Priam and Sterling who really seemed to care like some kind of … saint. He was pretty sure the idea that he did still have that kind of deep dark secret was still on his face. “Don’t be proud of me; it’s not like… It’s not like I’m the only one who got ditched as a kid. At least I had a name on file.” “And I …. I was a really shitty kid.” He added. He was a shitty lot of things. “I didn’t ask if you wanted a drink; I’m sorry.” “And…I’m sorry that you of all people didn’t make it as a Foster; you’d have been a lot better than the people I ….” He trailed off. “You’d have been good at it.”
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 7:40 pm
"That's not why I'm proud of you," Priam said. He looked at the alcohol when Yu mentioned it and then looked into his eyes, briefly looking rather serious. "And I shouldn't. I have such an inclination to overdrink. Mostly when I'm stressed. It's too addictive."
But he wasn't addicted.
He wasn't.
Mostly.
He offered a quick, strained smile, like there was so much he might have said, but he couldn't quite settle on a single thought so he just grazed over all of them.
"Even if you were absolutely the worst child on the planet, you're grown into a charming young man who has worked hard to get to where he is. I see it in everything you do. I see it in how you take care of Sterling, how you take care of the house. You have goals, and you work so hard, Yu. That's why I'm proud of you. But I don't know how many people in your life have told you that, so I wanted to make sure you heard it now."
He wanted to be appreciative that Yu thought he would have been a good foster parent, but in the context, he didn't feel like he had any right to be grateful.
Yu hadn't had a good experience. He didn't need a doctorate to put that together. It didn't sound like tough competition to be better than what Yu had.
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2020 8:05 pm
Yu’s eyes narrowed for a moment, and he slid the bottle just a little away from Priam. “It … I'm glad you said something. I know some folks who, I know people who didn’t think about that much.” He rolled the bottom edge of the glass along with the table, tilting it in his hands. “Thank you for, for listening; I mean, I still had an idiotic reaction. But I’m glad you stopped by. I’m Uh… I was going to make like, Burgers for dinner if you’re…. like… interested. I could make dog-burgers, I think. I can thaw extra meat for it. I won’t add seasoning to those.”
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