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 Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2020 5:16 pm
When Priam had received a text from Sterling that said to come over, that he needed him, Priam had immediately done so. His only response had been, 'I'm on my way.'
No questions, no time for questions. If Sterling was texting him, he supposed that Yu wasn't there, so he piled the puppies in the car and hurried over. He was still in his lazy clothes--though, for Priam, there was still something respectable about it. The puppies were as eager to get out of the car as Priam was, and he was grateful that their loyalty exceeded their curiosity; he hadn't even leashed them and they followed him to the front door.
He knocked, but Sterling had texted him to let himself in, so he did after rapping on the door to announce himself.
"Sterling?" he called as he entered, worry in his voice. The puppies rushed into the house, eager to smell everything that had changed since the last time they were there. "It's Priam, I've just gotten here. Where are you, is everything okay?" he asked. He walked briskly into the house, looking for his friend.
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 2:47 pm
Sterling had managed to get the pie out of the oven when it was finished, and had even remembered to turn the oven off which was a pretty big deal. He hadn’t moved from his seat at the table where he had collapsed into it though so the cookies and broken plate were still laying on the coffee table. Sterling's eyes were a little glassy as he tried very hard to ground himself, to push past the stupid memories that were working their way into his head again, engulfing him with a loneliness that he thought he had completely overcome. It had been a few years. He had Yu now. He had a great friend in Priam...he…
He wasn’t some throwaway person who nobody cared about.
...But why had seeing Ilya made him feel like just that?
“Kitchen.” Sterling managed to call when he heard Priam. Thankfully the door had been unlocked. Had Ilya even closed it when he left? Had he left? Or was he still in the house, ready to just ruin absolutely everything.
…Neighbors...What a cruel joke.
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 3:12 pm
Priam's eyes briefly grazed over the broken plate. He could smell the pie, and it was hard to think that anything so horrible could happen when the house smelled so good.
His eyes were on Sterling immediately though, and he hurried to him, placing a gentle hand over his shoulder.
"I brought the dogs over, I think they're trying to find Oreo. If they make a mess I'll clean it, but they've been very good so far. What's going on?" he asked, pulling out the seat and sitting next to him. He hunched forward just a bit, curled closer to Sterling without invading his personal space.
"I'm here, I came as soon as I could. What's going on?" he asked, brows knit with worry and absolute compassion in his voice as he rubbed Sterling's shoulder, his back, reassuringly.
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 4:15 pm
Sterling let out the breath he’d been holding and just gave a bitter laugh. “...You’ll think...I’m really stupid. You brought the dogs?” A little hope grew in his voice and he swallowed. “I would very much like to pet a puppy right now...ah...my ex…”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose and slid over the container of cookies, happy that at least this was Priam and he could finally taste one of the the dumb things. “...Someone was at the door. I thought it was you...just visiting or something...Yu’s at work...I’m...sorry to bug you…” He swallowed and balled his hands into fists to keep them from shaking.
“It wasn’t you...but I had brought cookies...ah. It was my ex. Ilya...telling me that he moved in...next door. I…” Sterling drew in a deep breath and counted to six in his head before letting it out, counting to eight as he released it. “...I haven’t seen him since...second year undergrad...which...isn’t that...big of a deal but...he just. Vanished…”
And made it impossible to have any friendships. Any relationships at all outside of acquaintances held at arm's length.
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 4:21 pm
The words 'ex' made Priam bristle, and the hair raised on the back of his neck. He snapped his fingers even as he listened to Sterling speak. It took a few seconds, but the puppies came rushing in, noses wet and paws sliding over the floor. They made their way to Priam first, but then they realized that Sterling was there, and suddenly they were all tails and tongues, pushing against him and begging for attention with their big, pleading eyes.
He accepted a cookie immediately, not because he was hungry for them or needed a distraction, but it was like he could feel the pull of them, how much Sterling needed some sense of normalcy.
"It's not stupid," he said, reaching down to take his hand. He rested his over Sterling's and gave it a squeeze, wishing that he could convey that it was all right to be nervous, to be upset, to be afraid.
He let his hand linger over Sterling's, loose enough that he could pull away, but heavy enough that Sterling couldn't forget that he wasn't alone, that he had Priam here to support him. "And you aren't bugging me. I came immediately, I was worried about you. What happened, are you all right? Do you need me to call the police? --If he hurt you," he said, voice with an edge to it that Priam did not have. But, he had it for Sterling, at the thought of someone hurting him.
Maybe he couldn't always protect himself, but he'd do everything in his power to protect Sterling.
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 4:58 pm
It would be a lie to say that he didn’t almost burst into tears at the reassurance that Priam provided. He didn’t even hesitate, and that struck something deeper in him than even Ilya’s sudden reappearance had ruptured. Only, this was a nice feeling. Like striking water in the middle of the desert...it was vital. Healthy.
Though, when Priam asked if Ilya had hurt him, Sterling shook his head, moving his hand to grope at Priam’s, squeezing it like a lifeline. “Oh...n-no! He...he’s not like that, goodness...he’s never. He was never violent! Never ever. He…”
He was just cold and unapproachable. He only abandoned him.
But now that the subject of abuse had been raised, Sterling couldn’t do anything but shake his head. “It...It was just. A compilation of some childhood trauma that...I...it wasn’t abuse. He just. Left. Left me. We argued before summer break. And he left and I never saw or heard from him again until today...it…”
Sterling swallowed and forced a smile that physically hurt. “...I like people. But I have a very hard time trusting people. My parents died when I was young, and of course there are the bullies. My grandmother raised me well, I can’t discount that, but. I was never...I never fit in. Ilya...he was the first...the first so many things. Boyfriend. Kiss. Bestfriend. And when he left...I told myself I wasn’t...wasn’t going to bother again. That I didn’t need friendships. Relationships. I could keep people at arms length and be okay with it.”
Without thinking, he reached for one of the cookies and began eating it slowly. “...of course, then you and...and Yu came into my life...and I...opened myself again. And...it just.”
He looked at Priam with helpless eyes. “...It sounds so ridiculous...especially when you put it into perspective of what he could have done...I...I feel as though I’ve wasted your time…”
Taking another bite of cookie, Sterling murmured, his gaze lowering. “...Thank you for coming though. It...means the world to me…” Putting the cookie back down, the male reached to finally give the dogs some attention.
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 5:19 pm
Priam watched closely, like he needed to be sure that he was getting the truth, that he understood what was being discussed. Finally, he relaxed. He trusted Sterling and nodded along as he listened. "No, no. Please, don't apologize. I just--my mind jumped," he said, and though his brows remained knit, he managed a small smile. He breathed a sigh, not quite of relief, but to unwind himself.
"You want to be a therapist, Sterling, you don't have to apologize for feelings. It doesn't sound ridiculous, not at all. I understand, completely. But your feelings are valid." He took his hand again, keen on giving him that connection. The dogs seemed delighted just trying to lick the crumbs off of his hand. Priam hadn't been able to take a bite yet, but he was far too focused on Sterling to have been able to taste it, anyway.
"Thank you for trusting me enough. With all of that. You don't have to force that smile, though. You look like it's hurting you. It's okay. You don't have to pretend to be happy. It's okay to be upset. You just got thrown through a loop. I'd be such a mess if my ex showed up, too." He didn't talk about his ex, except perhaps in scant throwaway comments. A man not worth knowing wasn't worth speaking of. Wasn't worth sharing.
"So I'm here, if you want to talk about it. Any of it. The good, the bad. I understand if it might be a weird topic with Yu. I don't imagine that's the sort of secret you'll want to keep, though. So if you want to practice talking to me about it, I've got the rest of the day. If you want, you can even come spend the night. Yu, too, if he wants. I can set up room for you both, he can just stop by whenever he gets off of work. We can work this out, I'll help however I can."
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 6:47 pm
Sterling drew in another breath and held it for a moment before nodding. “...You’re my best friend, other than Yu. But...he lives with me, so he doesn’t count as much as you do...besides, we’re dating. Ah. Again...it kind of slid all at once, sort of. He just...bundled up into everything…”
He tried to snap himself out of the wave of despair that was crashing over him at the thought of that. At the thought of either of these two just...leaving him. Disappearing from his life without so much as a goodbye.
The taste of the cookie that lingered in his mouth suddenly turned sour.
Sterling hadn’t been aware that cookies could turn sour. “...You...have an ex?” What a stupid quesiton. Most people had exes...obviously. But...the way that Priam talked about his. ANd how his mind had jumped right to abuse, it sent sluggish warning bells off in Sterling’s brain. Gently he squeezed Priam’s hand again. “...Would you be utterly miserable if we had a sleepover here? I don’t want Ilya to drive me out of my house...but I also don’t want...to be alone with Yu tonight...not because I’d be afraid of him getting angry with me but…”
He grimaced. “...I don’t want him getting arrested for murder or something like that...ah...Ilya hurt me yeah but...dead isn’t...that isn’t how it should be dealt with I...I’ll get over this and him and I will have a rational, logical conversation that I will know about in advance...if it...if it hadn’t been a surprise, I wouldn’ thave reacted so strongly, I’m sure.”
It was something that Sterling prided himself on, his ability to think before simply reacting. Of course...perhaps that was getting chipped away by opening himself again but...Ah. This was a conundrum for another day.
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Posted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 7:14 pm
Priam smiled, reassuring as he could be. "I understand. Of course. Of course, I can spend the night. I've--actually, I've got an overnight bag in the car. I always keep it in case there's some emergency in the city and I get stuck at the clinic, or the hospital. And there's a doggy-go bag in the car, too, so honestly--I'm set, I don't even have to go back and get anything."
He ran a quick checklist over his head--was his door locked? Was the stove off? Was he expecting any packages?
No, no--everything was taken care of. The home was fine, and he had everything he needed with him, now.
"As long as the dogs won't bother Yu, I'm happy to stay. But if they get too rowdy, I can just close them in the bedroom. Or the bathroom, if you're worried about them messing anything up." He smiled again and reached over, giving him a quick pat on his shoulder. "Can I make you some tea or something, Sterling? Would you like a blanket? Let me get you comfortable, you've had a trying day. I'll clean up that plate in a moment, too."
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2020 1:29 pm
Sterling gave a sigh of relief when Priam said that he would stay the night. He hoped that Yu wouldn’t be too upset by the intrusion, but...Yu had spoken well of his friend at least. That fact alone always made him feel good. That the two most important people in his life were friends with each other.
“I don’t think that the dogs will bother him...he even said once that he thinks they’re almost cute…” Sterling gave a tired, slightly shaky laugh. I would really like some tea. I’m so sorry for being so weak right now...but I appreciate you more than I have words for...this…”
He swallowed, reaching to rub the ears of one of the dogs. “...This was truly not expected...it isn’t the end of the world...but. I wish I could have had time to prepare for such an...unwelcome surprise…”
Unwelcome? Maybe that was too strong a term...but. It was something close to that. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to feel but.
But he didn’t have to feel anything alone. Priam was here...and Yu would come home after work...and they could all watch movies and just…
...Pretend like the house next door was still vacant.
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2020 2:24 pm
Priam managed a little smile at the thought of Yu thinking the dogs were almost cute. "You aren't weak, Sterling," he assured, squeezing his shoulder and standing over. He moved quickly, albeit a bit clumsily in the kitchen that wasn't his own. He knew from Sterling that this was Yu's kitchen, and he was doing everything in his power not to mess it up. Thankfully, it was remarkably easy to locate what he needed to get the tea started.
The dogs seemed keen to comfort Sterling while Priam was up; Odie lay his head in Sterling's lap and Penny pressed her head into his hand and wagged happily, almost even bravely.
“Please don't think so poorly of yourself. It's all right to feel things deeply. I like how much you care. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Would you like me to go next door and tell Ilya that you want to talk, just not right now, and that you'll set something up with him when you're ready? I don't mind playing messenger boy if it brings you any comfort."
Tea in progress, he grabbed an in-tact plate and moved to the cookies still settled on the broken one. He washed his hands quickly and then began to examine them, moving the cookies to the good plate and cleaning up the large chunks of broken glass.
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2020 6:31 pm
Sterling stroked under Penny’s chin and gave a little sigh. “...You’d really do that for me? He...he’s not a bad guy, seriously but...He was saying that...he would move away...and I seriously don’t want...that...seems way too excessive...ah.”
He leaned down and pressed a small kiss to the top of Odie’s head, relaxing further. “Just could you tell him that he doesn’t have to move? I’m not cruel. I’m not going to chase him out of his home...it’s just. Bad timing and. I don’t think either of us were expecting this. He looked like he saw a ghost, if I’m...remembering correctly.”
Ilya had turned paler than normal, at least he thought he had. It wouldn’t surprise him if that had been the case, at least. “What do you want for dinner? I can text Yu and see if he can bring us something home? And we can set up the living room...have a movie night…? Get all cozy?”
His heart rate increased just slightly when he spoke, and Sterling wasn’t completely sure why, but the idea of being sandwiched between Priam and Yu was…
Well. One of the safest places in the world that he could think of right now.
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2020 7:01 pm
"Of course, of course," Priam assured; he finished carefully picking up the glass and making sure there were no stray shards before depositing them in the trashcan. "We've been talking about a movie night for weeks, tonight seems perfect for it. Don't make Yu stop, not unless he wants to cook something. I can order anything he approves of and have it delivered. I don't want you--or him--to have to worry about anything, and it's really no skin off my back."
He walked over to the tea, gave it a quick stir, and then brought it over to Sterling.
"When you're feeling better, I'll head over and tell him. I don't mind, honest. And if he's not there, I'll leave him a note on the door. I'll be nice, I promise. I'll just let him know that you were surprised and you'll reach out to him when you're ready to talk, but in the mean time there's no reason to do anything drastic." He offered another reassuring smile. "Or--anything else you want me to say. I'm here to help, not take over, so just let me know what I can do to help and I'm all yours."
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2020 5:28 pm
“I was thinking he could bring us something from the place he works at. When he brings home food from there..ah. It’s the best. Almost better than my favorite pizza, but don’t tell him that or he’ll be wanting to bring it home every night.” Sterling gave a real laugh at that, taking the tea with a soft thank you and pulling out his phone. “I’m...feeling better. I can breathe again and my heart has stopped feeling as though I were a hummingbird…”
He sighed and took a long sip of tea, before pulling up the text messages he had with Yu and sighing softly, beginning to type a new message.
I love you. Can we please have a movie night with Priam tonight...I’ve kind of already invited him and he’s already here...can you bring garlic chicken? Or anything from work really. I...we have a new next door neighbor...It’s my ex! How fun. I had a little bit of a panic attack but...I’m okay now. You don’t need to worry. Priam came over and he helped me calm down...the dogs are here, and I hope that’s okay! I’m sorry to ramble, I hope that you’re having a good time at work and I can’t wait to get a hug when you come home.
Sterling sent the text and leaned back in the chair, feeling drained and tired, like he was recovering from some strain of flu.
“Priam…? Will you be completely offended if I go and take a nap? You can go...talk to Ilya maybe? I let Yu know what was going on so...hopefully he stays at work but...I don’t know.” He managed a smile and drained the rest of the tea, getting up on wobbly legs and walking to the sink, putting the cup inside of it.
“...I’m bringing the dogs with me for my nap…”
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2020 5:45 pm
Priam just watched him for a few seconds, taking in the wobbly legs, how he moved. He rose and made his way to him, offering a smile and extending his arm. "That sounds like a good plan. I'll go visit Ilya in a few minutes. I'll get the kitchen cleaned up. But I want to get you tucked in first, Sterling. Come on."
He took his arm and gently guided him. "If Yu shows up, I'll feel better letting him know that I made sure you were taken care of. So let's make sure you're in bed and cozy, all right?"
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