Welcome to Gaia! ::

Wolframite had been moved from the infirmary to their home outside the barracks, one of the officers had teleported him there while a nurse instructed her on what to expect going forward and how to take care of him including dietary suggestions, replacing the bandages, and some easy exercises to help him with once he felt capable of moving again. It went without saying that this was without a doubt the most trying time she had been through since her bothers passing. At least then she had her parents to lean on and friends at school to console her.

Sleep did not come easy for her. Often times she nodded off on the couch or at the dining table as she waited for the water to start boiling so she could make some bone broth or chicken stock.

For almost a year now Laven was used to Wolframite sleeping beside her, curled up against his warmth with either his large paw or heavy tail draped over her. But now that heavy weight was absent and she found that sleep did not come easy. The small sound of boards creaking as their house settled was loud and startling to someone as sleep-deprived as she was now.

Worry and anxiety made it next to impossible to focus on her research project for Laurelite and rather than risk making a mistake she had put in a request for a temporary leave of absence while she took care of Wolframite until he was well enough to function without the need for help again. Even then, she would probably request the flexibility to be on call in case something happened.

But now, all she could do was sit and wait.

Laven didn’t want to give him a reason to be concerned for her health or find out she hadn’t had much of an appetite for the last few days and so she stepped outside into the neighborhood ruins to let him rest in peace. She walked until his aura disappeared from her senses and continued on a bit further until she was confident he could not sense hers.

She was by no means near the edge of the ruins when she found a place to perch atop a decaying building that had partially crumbled into the street, large stones, and old wood were all that was left. It was quiet here, no youma or officer nearby, not a sound to be heard save for her own breathing and heartbeat that hammered uncomfortably against her chest when she woke up suddenly to the alarm she had set on her tablet.

Her shoulders hung low from the weight of the stress she had been carrying. The temperature around her shifted, becoming colder like a winters whispered breath against her skin, however, Laven did not react to the change. In truth, she barely noticed as she stared ahead at the jagged horizon, broken up by the buildings around her.

Laven’s head turned slowly towards the sound of her name being called.

She had heard Lopezite the first few times he had shouted her name, but in her dazed like state, she believed it was all in her head. That it was simply her desire to not be alone right now that manifested itself in a familiar voice.

However, when her eyes focused and she saw her Captian standing on the ground below her, Lavendulan couldn’t help but pause and wonder if he was simply a figment of her weary imagination or if she had somehow managed to fall asleep while sitting up; wouldn’t be the first time of that happening.

Lopezite? she wanted to say but her voice was frozen in her throat. For as much as she wanted him to be real, she equally wished he wasn’t if only so he wouldn’t see her cry as she was about to do. Instead, she nodded her head slowly despite her expression clearly betraying her reply.

It can be startling when perception becomes reality and a lucid figment of her imagination is in fact not a dream. His touch, though gentle, caused her to tense but at least she didn’t pull away or worse, take a swipe at Lopezite.

“I couldn’t sit still,” not at home anyway. Not where she felt the need to open the bedroom door every few minutes just to make sure Wolframite was breathing. “I tried-” her gaze fell down the two darkened spots on her uniform where tears had fallen. “I was going to make him dinner, but I wasn’t thinking when I took the pot off the stove.”

Laven carefully pulled her hand away so he wouldn’t see the blister on the side of her palm.

“I was trying to be quiet,” a whimpering sound escaped her between breaths as she looked up at Lopezite helplessly. It would be hard not to assume that she’d been yelled at for the simple mistake even though that’s not at all what happened.

“Wolframite got shot multiple times when he was out on patrol with another officer. He’s at home resting and I was just trying…” The temperature dropped even further and from where she sat a thin sheet of ice began coating the building debris around the two.

“I’m sorry,” the tears now fell freely.

“I’m sorry…” Laven repeated… again… and again...

Laven closed her eyes and hid her face in the fabric of his uniform. Although her grip was weak, she held onto the back of his shirt and just allowed herself to freely cry. Her body trembled and after a long moment of silent tears she finally replied, “I don’t know.”

Time was a relative thing in the Dark Kingdom. Without the sun or moon to gauge the hours or days passing, she really had no clue what day it even was unless looked at a clock or her tablet. As it was the latter of the two options was currently being used as an alarm to make sure she gave Wolframite to make sure she was giving Wolframite medicine before the effects of the previous dose wore off.

She felt guilty for waking him up each time but it was better than the alternative.

“I get a nap when I can, but it’s hard to stay asleep.” The imagery she saw in Wolframite’s mind when she put on his earring back in the infirmary made it difficult for her to forget how close he had come to death.

Before she could utter a simple white lie to ease his concern Laven’s stomach confirmed his suspicion in angry protest with an un-lady-like grumble. Aside from water, the only food she’d eaten was either toast or saltine crackers. Both were easy on her stomach where sweets, like jam, made it churn in protest and spice made it ache.

“I haven’t been able to go to the grocery store in a few weeks.” She had it on her schedule to go the day after Wolframite and Tinaksite were going on patrol together but then everything happened and the food was left forgotten. That is until they were brought back home and she realized there wasn’t much left to make an actual healthy meal that would be easy for him to digest aside from homemade chicken noodle soup which was currently mopped up and in the garbage because it had been spilled on the floor.

“Even if I went, I don’t know what to get. What to make…” Yes, there were apps on her phone that could give her ideas but the screen was so damn bright to look at that it was hard for her to read. Laven felt so defeated.

Wolframite liked meat, but she couldn’t exactly make him steak in bed to satisfy that hunger. He was of a different make and did not care much for vegetables, if anything he used to a high protein diet. Pulled pork perhaps, or chicken maybe would be the two best options here.

“Can you- can you help me please?” She hated herself for having to ask because this was something that should be easy enough for her to take care of on her own but in her over-emotional sleep-deprived state it seemed like such an impossible task

Laven nodded her head against his chest and in response to his kind words and gentle gestures Laven felt herself relax. “Thank you,” she spoke quietly and while her hold on his shirt loosened, she did not let go of him quite yet.

For the last several days she was a sleep-deprived emotional wreck trying to pretend that everything was fine and she had things under control. Yet beneath that facade, she was systematically falling apart piece by piece. Her needs came second to Wolframite’s recovery which is why she was holding so much in.

Perhaps she should have reached out to Lopezite, but her active mind was in a million and one places making it near impossible to think things through clearly. However, now that he was here, a physical presence and not just a voice over the communicator, she regretted not asking for help before things got so bad.

This quiet moment brought back memories of the day he had found her at the lake. She had been so panicked and unsure of everything including who and what she was, yet his patience and kindness had been a balm to a weary frayed soul, and like then he had this uncanny ability to calm her down enough to think more clearly again. Had it been anyone else standing in his place she would have pushed them away, save for Wolframite that is.

Perhaps he’s a youma whisperer. The thought brought with it the barest of smiles.

Lopezite had taken her under his wing well over a year ago, helped her transition into this new life the best he knew how. In a way, he reminded her a lot of her brother. One taught her how to hold her breath and swim while the other taught her how to breathe, how to live, again. Perhaps that’s why she felt comfortable around him because he had filled that void her brother had left behind.

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” Laven finally spoke after a long pause. The air around them warmed slightly and the ice retreated quickly until there was no evidence that it had ever been.

Laven didn’t put up a fight or argue when Lopezite picked her up. Instead, she just leaned her head to the side, careful not to jab him in the shoulder with the tip of her horns.

He was right, she did keep things from him.

Things like how she felt like a bird trapped in a gilded cage. A monster locked away while the other officers were allowed to run around and play. How she felt like a withering flower kept in the dark shadows created by the purplish glow of the crystals that grew around the Dark Kingdom.

Be it rain or sunshine, Laven cherished every moment he took her outside, where the air she breathed did not smell stale or of sweaty bodies returning from patrol. However, time was always fleeting and when the hour drew near when it was time to return, she did so with a smile but inside she wanted to beg him not to make her go back. It would have been a kinder ending to find a lake for her to sleep in rather than feel like she was being snuffed out in the dark, but then she would never have met Wolframite had he done that instead.

A thin silver lining to a dismal beginning.

If anything, Laven just wanted him to be proud of her again. To see that smile he had when she turned in her full quota for the first time or brought her to his home to introduce her to his dogs and to see his forge.

Only once had she ever shared her earring with Lopezite and unlike Wolframite his mind was difficult to read. Guarded by walls that she was hesitant to push in case there was something behind them he did not want her to know.

That’s ultimately what made her hesitate.

They’ve been friends for over a year now and still, there was so much she didn’t know about him, even simple things like his favorite color. Although, she was aware that he did not take to swimming as she did.

Perhaps it was because she was a half-youma that she felt the need to keep a distance. They were different, the two of them and it would be a sin to drag him into her world. She was part monster, more suited for a freakshow, he could not survive in her world nor would she want him to try. Lavendulan was used to it now and it was because Wolframite had taught her how to survive in the dark.

Hopefully, someday soon she would be like them, a Captian so she could leave this place freely. Until then…

Laven looked up and watched him for several moments. “Thank you,” she spoke softly as they neared her home.