Nothing caught her eye these days, neither the scenery nor the populace flowing through it. Everything seemed washed out, grey with disinterest. It'd been the same since she'd left the splendors of the palace behind; all the color draining out alongside the whispers that trailed her, those accusing stares burning holes in her plated neck. The court had turned on her, as Lissa had always warned her it might. She'd mocked most of them at one event or another, murmured cutting observations to her queen while they flounced around in their finery. What she would have given to hear her laugh just once more, to see the corners of her eyes crinkle while Lissa shushed her, mortified by her own reaction. A shame, one of the courtiers had remarked in vague, pompous tones when they'd discovered her body. Subira had come back to herself with blood on her hooves, spattered warm across her tongue. She didn't have the teeth for it, ripping and shredding flesh from bone, but she'd given it a fair shake until they'd pulled her off. A shame. It was similar to the language they'd used to describe her, once upon a time, when she'd first joined the Queensguard. How they thought it might encapsulate Lissa's loss - the sun of her gone dark, sputtered into nothing - she couldn't begin to understand.
Something ashen and volatile steered her now, sending her from place to place with no real destination in mind. Little sense in counting down the hours since her exile when there was no end in sight. She still marked them in the bark of unsuspecting trees, the walls of caves, nicks that she applied with tail and hoof alike. It wasn't until she'd noticed the tarnish on her helmet that she'd bothered to stop, taking the time to oil it, bring back the proud, golden sheen of it. Quartermaster Nirmala would have had her hide for neglecting it this long. The stone settled in its armored forehead had fared little better, and she polished it in turn to a mirror-like shine, studied her wasted countenance in its surface. The dusky length of her mane was tangled, sweat-damp from being encased beneath metal for so long. Beneath her firefly-bright gaze, the blue angled markings had darkened, bruised from lack of sleep. What would her queen think of her now, she wondered?
Irritated with her own black thoughts, she shunted them off to the side along with her helm, let the electricity beneath her skin settle. The forest that reared up around her was unremarkable as many of the others she'd trekked through, and she took it in at a glance, scanning for movement on impulse. Water burbled somewhere nearby, a riot of wildflowers spanning in every direction. She'd already beheaded a number of them on accident, crushed others underfoot. Pursing her mouth, she let the energy ribbons mantling her shoulders billow upright from where they'd laid flat along her spine, feeling them stretch and spike faintly. Her hooves came up off the ground on command, less than an inch between her and the grass, but enough to give the remaining flowers a fighting chance.