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 Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 3:14 pm
As warm as it was, Bestla was more than a little shocked that no one else had wandered into this little grotto in the park. There was plenty of cool shade and a picturesque little rock wall that she was currently sitting on. Really, all that was missing was a burbling brook and this place would have been perfectly story-bookish.
But maybe that was why there weren't more people around, she thought. A water source would have made things even cooler. And honestly, if this little grotto was made more perfect, she probably wouldn't enjoy it and it's solitude nearly as much.
Laughing a little at her own whimsy, the tall senshi shifted just enough to lay on the wall, pillowing her head on her arms.
She was dimly ware of another aura nearby, but since it held zero Chaos, she didn't allow it to fuss her. Instead, she called out lazily, "If you promise to not make a fuss or try to turn my hidey-hole into a battleground, you're allowed. It's too damn hot to fight anyway."
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Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 5:21 pm
Super Sailor Caia had been slacking on his senshi duties, and he wasn't proud of it. Maybe it was the summer heat, or the guilt, or his brother worrying about him, or just the general fear that someone would catch him and reveal his secret identity. Maybe he was overreacting, maybe he was just naturally fretful.
...Maybe he was just good at coming up with excuses.
He'd been trying to take this whole thing a little more seriously, and he knew he wasn't the best senshi--but you didn't get better without practicing and you didn't get stronger without trying. There were hardships that you faced that other people didn't always understand, and it had been difficult to convince them that he deserved a chance to at least try.
It was hard earned trust that he was worried he could lose at any time--all it took was one bad battle, one bad interaction, and he was worried that the people closest to him would forbid him to do this any more.
He had to be careful.
Every time he powered up, he was, these days. Careful not to get caught, careful not to get hurt. It was responsible, he told himself. Adult-like, even.
...Despite his age, Caia still wasn't sure he was ready to grow up. He didn't want to let go of the threads of his youth. He didn't want to see the world as a dark, miserable place.
Thankfully, he didn't have to.
A voice called out into the night and Caia realized that he was not being careful at all; he had wandered straight into the area without any realization that he was encroaching on another person. Rapidly, he tried to examine the energy signature and understand what was going on--and, thankfully, he could breathe. It wasn't a threat.
He shuffled forward and looked up at the rock wall, blinking quickly. This wasn't an area he often found himself in and he would have been interested even if there wasn't a magical voice calling to him through the air. But, it wasn't just any voice--it was a familiar one, and it took him all of a second to remember her, her name, and the crushing pain he'd been in the last time he'd seen her.
But-- "Oh!"
Oh, he knew her!
"Bestla!" he blurted, hands balling into fists as he jumped in place once, eagerly--like he simply couldn't contain his energy upon seeing her. He looked like a child who had been granted a gift he couldn't wrap his head around. His eyes were wide and a broad grin split across his face.
"Bestla!" he said again--to make sure she was real.
"I haven't seen you in forever! Where have you been! What are you doing out here? Up there? Have you been okay? I've been so busy--Oh, I have so much to tell you. Oh, no. That's rude. I mean, I could have a lot to tell you, but," he shook his head and it seemed like it was extremely difficult for him not to throw himself at her to give her a warm hug in greeting. "Just tell me how you've been first, before I worry more!"
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Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2020 12:15 pm
Hearing her name called out so excitedly caused the tall senshi to sit up and glance down. And when she saw who was calling, a wide grin flickered across her features. Moving so that she could lean down to offer the other a hand up onto the wall, Bestla began laughing in cheerful delight.
"And hello to you too, little bro," she said half teasingly. Though really, Caia did feel like her little brother. At least in soul. "I've been patrolling, visiting my planet and getting into trouble of course! As for why I am up here, stone draws away heat, so I'm cooling off."
Snapping her fingers, she waved her hand so he would take it. It would be a lot easier to play catch up if he was up on the wall with her. Then she could give him the biggest bear hug.
"Get up here, Caia! Then we can gossip to our hearts content," she said, another grin brightening her face as she winked. "And I've been fine, honest. What about you? I want to hear everything!"
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2020 7:50 pm
Caia took the hand eagerly and did his best to pull himself up to join her. He immediately threw his long arms around her as best he could manage and squeezed. "I don't know! Wait, no, I mean--I've been fine too! I just don't even know where to begin! I feel like so much has happened, but also nothing at all! I've been doing good and staying out of trouble. I'm still powering up. Did I tell you that my brother found out I was a Senshi?"
He looked like he couldn't quite recollect and it was obvious that he didn't really talk about it often. "We worked it out, he doesn't like me going out still. But I'm trying to get stronger so he doesn't have to worry about me. He doesn't get it. But, you know. He's a police officer, and he's very serious about doing things by the book. He doesn't like this vigilante justice. And I think he worries about me getting into fights because he knows I've never won one."
Caia certainly didn't seem ashamed about this and still looked at her, absolutely beaming. "Is that enough? I don't know what else to say! Oh," he shook his head.
"Hold on, I talked too much, I have to catch my breath. I made myself dizzy."
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2020 11:37 am
Heaving gently, Bestla laughed as Caia got himself settled and then hugged her. IT was hard to feel even a bit grumpy in the face of such breathless cheerfulness. She even managed to hide her alarm over his declaration involving his brother. He was just so happy that she hated the idea of bursting whatever bubbles he had, but some measure of caution needed to be taken.
She did not ever want to see Caia hurt. Or worse.
"Did you even breath during all of that?" she asked teasingly. "No wonder you're dizzy! Now, just sit here a moment and relax. How did your brother find out about you?"
Keeping her own voice relaxed and soft, Bestla wondered just how she could explain how very dangerous it was for a civilian to know about secret identities. And he was a police officer to boot. Bother, bother, bother.
"He does know to keep completely silent about what he knows, right? He needs to stay completely under the radar because if the Negaverse takes an interest in him, you'd both be in such terrible danger..."
Nope, she wasn't going to allow herself to imagine Caia dead or corrupted. And maybe she was worrying for nothing. Except the beaming senshi beside her admitted to never winnign a fight in his life.
Hell.
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Posted: Thu Dec 10, 2020 5:51 pm
Caia was fanning himself, like somehow that was going to get oxygen into his lungs any faster. He kept breathing, taking the moment to suck in a few extra breaths while he listened to her.
"Oh, Bestla. We got into a horrible fight," he confessed, and though he seemed in a better mood now, there was a heaviness to his words. The fight had hurt him, and his breathing slowed into something a little less dramatic.
"...He was mad at me when I found out. I was keeping secrets, and...I promised I wouldn't, and..."
His lips pursed and he hummed, almost serious. "...I've made mistakes before, you know. I mean, you don't, because I don't talk about them, and he doesn't either. And he's my big brother, so naturally he worries for me. But he's a good man," he promised. "He tried to convince me to stop powering up, tried to convince me to stay out of danger. At first he yelled about it, but I don't blame him. He didn't know. But I explained things to him. I mean, he gets calls all the time, to weird things. He's seen enough of Destiny City to know that something's not quite right. He didn't know I wasn't one of the bad guys until we talked. But--no, he's smart about it all. If anyone found out I was a Senshi, I'd be in trouble. And he's spent my whole life looking out for me, let's be honest. He wouldn't do anything to get me in trouble."
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2020 12:34 pm
That whatever argument Caia had had with his brother had caused pain was clear. And Bestla didn't want to add to it, so she kept her thoughts to herself. Surely a police officer knew how to keep quiet when it really mattered. But she knew slips could happen.
And what would be the point of haranguing about it? Caia seemed to know and understand the risks. Still.
"It must be nice to have someone like that to depend on," she said. "Let's keep our fingers crossed that no one in the Negaverse decides to try corrupting the whole force, yeah? Awful thought."
She gave an exaggerated shudder for effect and hoped that he took her meaning and that he'd be extra careful. She suspected that well meaning secrets didn't last long in the Negaverse.
"So," she continued lightly. "Anything else happened lately with you? Any homeworld trips or anything fun? I'm afraid I don't have anything nearly as interesting as you to share."
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Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2020 9:02 am
Caia smiled at her, reassuringly. "I worry about my brother constantly, but I believe in him. He's a good guy. He'd never do anything to hurt anyone. I mean, unless he had to protect someone, but." He shook his head and seemed completely convinced when he said, "The Negaverse wouldn't ever get to my brother. He knows they're the bad guys, promise. And if something ever happened, I know he'd come to me to help him. He's got my back and I've got his, no doubt about it. But I haven't--actually," he contemplated.
"...I haven't really done anything exciting. Not fun. Should I go to my homeworld? I've only been once but it was so cold. Just--snow, and ice. I couldn't breathe. I was there for like, thirty seconds and then I had to come back. I didn't think it wanted me to be there, and, ah..."
He cleared his throat. "I sort of figured I could respect that and...haven't gone back. Why, do you think I should? It made me cry when I went before. And it was scary. Have you been to yours?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2021 2:13 pm
Bestla would have liked nothing more than to worry and scold, but something inside told her to drop the subject. Caia was a grown boy, he didn't need (or likely want) her mother henning it up.
"I'd glad you both have each other's backs like that," she settled on saying. "A ot of folks don't have the kind of support."
Well, that was safe enough. And really, Caia would know his own brother better than her. This was a case where she would just have to trust and hope. And fortunately, he had just offered up a more pleasant subject for conversation. She could talk for days about her homeworld.
"Thirty seconds isn't a lot of time to gather a good first impression," she said gently. "Your world has been alone for an awfully long time, you know. I'm sure it wants you there."
She had never heard of a homeworld rejecting it's senshi. Was such a thing even possible? They needed each other to stay, well, whole.
"I've been to mine so many times. It's sad and confusing and sometimes a little scary, but I love it. And I'm sure it knows that I want to help it. Maybe your homeworld is just lonely and feels neglected. I mean, if you've only been there once and for such a short trip..."
Bestla trailed off, by no means was she an expert on homeworlds and she didn't want to say something that might offend her friend.
"I don't think it would hurt to go back and try to connect with it," she finally said cautiously. "Maybe take someone with you next time to help make it less scary?"
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2021 3:19 pm
"I didn't think I'd last for more than thirty seconds! It was so cold. And scary, and unfriendly." He almost sounded like he was sulking. "...I wanted to like it, I wanted to go up there with good expectations. But it just--it felt like I was an intruder. "
Still, he let out a heavy sigh and just looked guilty.
"...I'm scared to go back. It's been so long since the last time I was there. What if it's just worse this time? --I'm worried I'll take someone else and we'll be caught in some horrible ice storm and just freeze. Do you want to go with me some time?" he asked, looking over at her with a bit of hope.
"You're friendly and likable. Maybe my homeworld wouldn't hurt you, if we went. But you'd have to dress warm, like, bring a winter coat. Um. I mean, the invitation is open, if you want. But, no pressure!"
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Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2021 3:44 pm
Hoo boy. Bestla managed to keep from rolling her eyes at the almost sulky tone to Caia's words. Okay, so it hadn't been what he had expected, fine. But what on earth expectations had he had to start with?
It's fine to be scared," she said. "That completely normal and understandable. But it's not fair to your homeworld to blame it for not meeting whatever mental image you had when you went up there. And.. look," she continued, deciding to adopt an air of authority even if she was absolutely talking out her a**. "You wouldn't blame a dog that had been abandoned and left to fend for itself for being nervous and bitey, right? You'd know that it had seen some s**t and go gently with it. I think that's what needs to happen here. It's your homeworld. It ultimately doesn't want to hurt you, but it's scared too. After all, it's been alone and in ruin for a long, long time."
Reaching out, she gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze.
"It's your homeworld, Caia. It wants you there. It wants you back, but it's in pain. You staying away won't help that pain to alleviate. And if me going along will help you feel better about it, I'm happy to go," she said before grinning. "And finding a coat is no big deal. Afterwards, I can show you my homeworld. I've been trying to clean up some of the ruin. And don't quote me on this, but I feel like it doesn't feel as... lifeless? as it did the first time I went up. I really think our homeworlds respond to us on some level. I'm sure mine knows I love it dearly."
The idea of visiting a different planet was immensely appealing and Bestla was already mentally packing her knapsack for the trip. If she could convince Caia that visiting was worth it, then she felt she'd be able to sleep a little better at night.
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2021 6:40 am
Caia was quiet, and a bit reluctant, but nodded. It was clear that her words had an effect on him; he was easy to read and looked guilty. He picked at his glove for a long moment and his typical cheerful demeanor seemed faded. He was easy to read; it was probably clear why he'd had to cave and tell his brother at least something of the truth.
He hadn't ever talked much about homeworlds, much less his own, but her sympathetic rendition of what she thought his world must be feeling made him feel bad about not visiting. Maybe he'd meant to. Maybe the frozen cold, or the sight of a dying man had just scared him. All of his warning signs had flared up, and Jeremy had always told him 'if it doesn't feel safe, leave.'
So he'd left, and he'd never gone back.
It had been years ago, he'd still been just a basic senshi. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, wondering if him being stronger might change the outcome of another visit.
"When are you free to go?" he asked instead, because it didn't matter how anxious the thought of going back made him, the wave of guilt was more overpowering.
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Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 12:59 pm
Keeping quiet and simply watching the other senshi from the corner of her eye, Bestla decided that he really didn't have much in the way of a poker face. Which probably went a long way to explaining why he went and tol his secrets to his brother. And if his brother was a cop... Well, they were trained to look for facial tics and such. Caia would have been an open book. She'd have to see if someone could teach him to be a little bit better at bluffing. There was guilt there and a little bit of fear... What exactly had happened to frighten him?
"Hrmm?" she answered, caught a little off guard in her idle musing. "Oh! I need at least one of two days to get ready. How heavy a coat do you think is appropriate? Should I pack sweatpants or snacks? You mentioned ice, was it just ice or a mix of snow and ice? Should I try to find snowshoes, d'you think?"
She paused to make a comical face and stretch out her leg, showing off her heeled boot. "Doesn't look terribly practical for tramping through the elements, so I guess I'll pack some snow boots too. So are you going to tell me what you saw up there that scared you so bad?" she rushed on bluntly, deciding that if she pounced on him verbally, he'd have less time to try and figure out a way to deflect her. "It's written all over your face that something more than a bad snowstorm happened. So spill. I can't help if I don't have all the info, friend."
She softened the rebuke with a cheery grin and wink. Honestly, she was already in her element planning for the trip. She wanted to make sure that it went as well as possible for Caia's own peace of mind.
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Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2021 5:56 am
Caia faltered, because truthfully he didn’t even know where one would buy snowshoes, or how effective they were. While he was struggling to imagine the perfect recommended outfit, she blurted that out, and he found himself even more on the spot for an answer.
“Oh, I--I don’t know,” he said, too quickly to have been a complete lie, but obviously not the whole truth. He opened his mouth and floundered for a bit before he finally said, “It was just...there was a lot of snow. It was really cold! And it felt like, um.” He faltered and rubbed at his chest, as if the memory had pierced him again.
“I don’t know. It was snowing so much that I couldn’t see or breathe, hardly, but it was what I felt that was...I don’t know, the worst of it? It felt horrible. Like I was being smothered. Everything hurt, and I was just...scared.”
He wondered if that had anything to do with his world maybe being scared, and a fresh wave of guilt hit him.
“...It felt like someone had stabbed me through the chest. And I saw--I saw this man. I mean, I think I saw him. It was strange. He was bleeding. He fell down. I--I was scared, so I...it didn’t seem like there was anything I could do? I felt helpless. I blinked and he was gone, so I--I don’t think...there was anything I could have done, but I…”
He was gripping his arm tightly, nails nearly digging into himself. “...I don’t know.”
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 9:08 am
Jeezy Creezy, he really was bad at hiding how he was feeling, Bestla thought as she turned to be able to fully face her small friend. Still, her heart went out to him. And as he explained and finally came clean, she could only send up a silent prayer of thanks that her world had stuck to visions of living trees and the sounds of bells and laughter.
Taking careful note of how his hands were clenching into his arms, she reached out and took them both firmly into her own hands and simply held them for a moment, doing her best to radiate soothing and comfort.
"Okay, first off, you're absolutely right. There was nothing you could have done and you need to stop beating yourself up about it because it wasn't real," she said in a soft, compelling voice. "Look at me, Caia and believe me. What you saw? That man? He wasn't really there. That was a memory being flung into your face, as it were. That man was something you saw a very long time ago before everything went to hell and all our homeworlds died."
She paused and considered how to best proceed. No wonder he'd been so scared! Releasing one of his hands, she gently laid one of her own flat against his chest. Right above his heart and where she believed their starseeds all rested.
"Still listening?" she asked with a gentle smile. "Whoever that man was, he was nothing more than a memory out of context. We all get them when we go visiting. Maybe it's just the most efficient way for our starseeds and worlds to catch us up. Or maybe it's just a glitch in the matrix because there is no better way. I don't know. But I do know that you have nothing to feel guilty for. That sensation you had of being stabbed might've been part of that same memory. In fact, I'd be willing to bet money on it."
Giving his chest a gentle pat, she rested both of her hands in her lap and studied the other senshi carefully. If the very first memory he got was something that gruesome, she had a feeling that his world hadn't been all fun and games way back when. And given his reactions, she couldn't help but wonder if more visits might not be just as traumatizing. But she also truly believed that he needed to go back. He needed to face those memories head on and accept that past Caia might not have been all fun and games.
"Give me a few days to prep," she said wheedlingly. "I'll text you when I have everything we might need packed and ready. We'll go together and if you see anything else, you can tell me and we'll work it out together, yeah? And now that you know that your world is going to give you mental whammies, you 'll be better prepared too."
She smiled brightly, her confidence in him palpable.
"You got this, Caia."
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