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 Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 5:30 pm
Caleb had been in isolation for long enough, and some of the ache had finally gone away. It had been months, creeping up on a year now, and he had moped long enough. He had just left his apartment, his lease had been up and he hadn’t yet gone about finding anywhere new to stay, so he had gotten a hotel room for the moment.
As he sat on the bed, he pulled his phone out and texted Xi, feeling as though he had waited far too long to reach out, but at the same time…he hadn’t really had the strength or desire to.
But now, he was numb, utterly and completely numb, and not just due to the chill from outside.
He had lost weight and his hair had grown out, touching his shoulders now, and it was rather limp, just a little stringy. It was clear he hadn’t been much on caring for his appearance lately.
The text had been simple, asking Xi to come see him, giving the name and location of the hotel, as well as his room number. He hoped it wouldn’t take too long for the male to show up, provided he even wanted to.
It was a nice hotel, at least, and had a lovely view of the city itself. Caleb watched out the large sliding glass doors for as long as it took the other male to arrive.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 5:39 pm
The text had been unexpected, he'd given up on Caleb ever contacting him, he'd worried about the other as he'd seemed to really need the help. He just wasn't sure it would be accepted, he had a feeling things needed to be done at the others pace. When he'd offered too much, at least it felt like too much, when they'd met at the mall Caleb had retreated. So he'd waited, giving every bit of distance as he could, and now the other was reaching out. He wasn't happy about it, it meant the other was in need and he doubted that was a good thing, but it meant he would know how Caleb was doing and he could perhaps help - finally.
He'd hurried to pull on a pair of shoes and make his way out of the building he lived in with Nischal and Jason. On his way out he'd fed the cats, they were due for a meal, and out to grab a cab he'd gone.
The hotel wasn't that far away, it could have been further, and it was a nice place. The part of town it was in was nice...and safe, especially safe he thought, he worried Caleb wasn't taking care of himself...it seemed the route the other might have been headed down when they'd last met.
When he did reach the door he paused, took a few deep breaths, before raising his hand to knock gently. "Caleb?" Calling out the others name, unsure if he could even be heard through the door to wherever the other was in the room. He didn't know what the other wanted, or needed, but he was hoping he could provide all of it...he wanted to help. He just hoped he could handle this.
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Posted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 7:25 pm
Caleb paused and slid off the bed, moving to the door and opening it after only a moment. He looked at Xi and nodded, managing what nearly passed for a smile. “Hey. Thanks for coming. I think…I’m mostly done moping for a while and…I could use some company. Make yourself at home.”
Since this was his home now, he figured it was the best thing to say. “I’m thinking room service for some food? If you’re hungry. I think I am, for once.”
He hopped back onto the bed nearest the window and yawned, grabbing the menu for room service and scanning it, almost eagerly. “Hot wings sound really good to me. I could use a good kick in the mouth. What about you? My treat, obviously. I’ll be living here for a while. My lease was up in my old place, and it wasn’t a moment too soon so…now I’m just. Kind of homeless?” Sort of. He was looking for new apartments but.
But so far, none had really tickled his fancy. Besides. He had people to clean things up here, and right now…he needed that. He hadn’t been very good at cleaning the apartment he had lived in towards the end…but the security deposit hadn’t been that important anyway.
“…how have you been?”
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Posted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 7:49 pm
Taking a look at the other Xi was rather shocked. Caleb looked like an unkempt mess...nothing like he used to look. When he stepped inside his dark eyes took the time to glance around, making note of whatever they landed on. Clearly the other had spent a lot of time shut in here. Nodding his head slowly as he listened to Caleb he sat himself on the bed and moved closer - close enough to hug the other. "You look like a mess...and are homeless. You need food and to get back onto your feet."
He could have invited the other to move in but he knew Nischal wouldn't approve, and it wasn't his home so he couldn't do what he wanted to. he wanted to help Caleb, despite what had happened in the past - it was the past.
"Food sounds good...and hot wings are ok - they aren't so greasy." So they weren't likely to upset his stomach which would be nice, he put his stomach through enough with the normal food he typically ate. "The hottest they make would be good." If they had levels of heat at least, some places might not. But Xi-Wang liked heat - a lot of heat.
"You haven't thought to find a place for yourself either...you want to live like this? This isn't...right." Shifting till he sat behind the other and could hold him and pet his hair. "You need to think of yourself..but I'm doing well. You need to do well - to be well." And he would help - he had to. The past and the hurt back then didn't matter...Caleb was hurting and suffering and needed to get on his feet and be who he used to be - to be better.
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Posted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 8:17 pm
Caleb paused when he felt Xi-Wang’s arms going around him, and for a moment he stiffened, brows furrowing in confusion. “…It’s not really homeless. I just…don’t have an apartment right now. I’ve got the hotel…I’m fine, seriously. People live in hotels all the time, don’t they?” He nodded and reached for the phone, intending to put in the order for the wings, pleased when he was given permission to order the hottest possible, it sounded good. But so did bread. Cheesy garlic bread sounded…like something that would really hit the spot.
“I mean…it’s not…really a home, but it’s not like I’m living in a box by the side of the road either, Xi. I’m fine…”
He had almost escaped the arms, almost escaped the comfort and kindness that was pushing him to the point of tears when Xi moved closer and began to stroke his hair and he swallowed hard. “…You uh…my hair isn’t very nice right now, you know…I’m glad you’re doing well. That makes me happy to hear. I like the idea of you being happy.”
One of them should be.
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Posted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 8:28 pm
"A hotel isn't a home...thus homeless. You can't call a hotel a home, it doesn't have the same feelings." Shaking his head he let the other grab the phone, he assumed to call in the food order. At leas the other was going to eat, because it looked like he had been eating like a bird lately.
"It's not a box but it isn't much better. It's not a home - you need one..." But he couldn't provide one and Caleb seemed like he just couldn't bring himself to care enough to try and get a home..like he didn't want one perhaps. Was he really going to just live in a hotel? It was just a bedroom and a bathroom...it was smaller than a home and it lacked in so many things.
"I would like you to be happy...and you're hair is too long. We're going to get it washed and trimmed." Maybe just cut, it could use it, but Caleb needed someone to groom him since he seemed unable, or uncaring, to do it for himself. "After food we are going out." Now that he was here he was going to do something he had never really done in the past - taken charge. He was typically the sort to follow others...to not lead and to not push people about. He was going to do all that right now and then some. Whatever he needed to do to help Caleb. He'd do it - he had to help.
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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 12:00 pm
Caleb blinked and paused, nodding slowly. “I mean, I guess. I’ll…look into getting a new place. I’m just.” He hesitated, closing his eyes and taking a moment to rest back against Xi for a moment, pretending.
“I don’t think I want to be alone. Not right now. Obviously, I’m alone in here, but…you’re right. This doesn’t have the same feeling as a home. I can pretend I’m on a vacation. Pretend that I have something great to do. I have someone to clean up after me. Someone to make the bed.” He shrugged. “It can’t make me take care of myself…but at least I’m not living in filth, yeah?”
He looked up at the male and shrugged.
“Getting a haircut sounds good, I suppose. Going out? I could do that, yeah. We can do that.” Maybe it would be nice. He could do that indeed. And perhaps…it would even be nice. Maybe.
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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 12:15 pm
"No one wants to be alone..even introverts need some company at times." Shrugging a bit. He'd done his best, growing up, to avoid people and slept through a lot of things. But even he'd still sought out company at times. He'd tried to avoid living and doing things...found an escape in life. But he'd always needed people around from time to time. He'd gotten better at it, opened up more, and enjoyed being around people far more now. But he didn't need to worry about interacting with people now, since his mother and her wife were out of the city and his life.
"You need a home where you can invite people over...or." Maybe he shouldn't think the things he was but he was a bit of a creative people - a bit imaginative. Right now he wanted to help Caleb and there were only a few options really. He couldn't just invite the other to where he lived...it wasn't his home, and he felt that a bit more keenly than he ever had before. He'd felt it when he'd first moved in with Nischal and Jason, in part because he felt like a third wheel and like a kid compared to them. They'd done more in life than he had, at least it had felt that way, but he couldn't invite Rhona over, he knew she and Nischal didn't get on well at all, and now he couldn't offer help to a friend.
What would happen if his sister ever did decide to visit, and she'd joked about a few times now, where would she go? He didn't like to idea of his sister staying in a hotel in a country, and a city, she was unfamiliar with. The idea bouncing around his head wasn't one he'd ever had before but the feelings which fueled it had certainly been there, lingering and rearing their head on occasion, it would be safe if he could get his sister out of China anyway, especially now.
Maybe it was seeing his ex here like this that was pushing his feelings to the forefront more than ever...making him think of something - wanting something. He'd never asked his father for anything...they'd only met recently online...but he could ask - right?
"Filth no...but you are not taking care of yourself." Almost absently he spoke, his mind already going over things. Trying to figure out how to ask this favor of his father, because he was now sure he needed to. "Caleb...what do you think of a cat?" It was again absently spoken words but there was a reason for it, it was rare he did something without reason.
"A hair cut after food...yes. And shopping...I need to do some shopping, big shopping, soon so something less stressing will be nice."
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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 1:13 pm
Caleb nodded, waiting for the rest of the male’s words, hesitating at the silence that had fallen after he had suggested inviting people over, and when nothing came, he looked away again and sighed softly. “I know I’m not taking care of myself. But…I’ll try to start. I reached out to you, that was a good start, I think.” At the very least, it meant he wanted to feel better. Wanted to get out of the rut that he was in. Wanted to figure out what else to do with his life now that…
Well.
Now that his plans had been so easily shattered.
Obviously, he would have to start working out. That had become obvious to him, though he hadn’t had the chance to start doing so. It was difficult to be a threat to chaos when he was still a bookish, twig thin nobody. He wanted to get some muscle. Wanted to be able to win battles without having to try too hard. He wanted to be able to truly rid the world of that strangling darkness.
And he would do it. He would do it the best way that he could.
A moment later, he paused, blinking in confusion. “Cats? I like cats. You think I should get one? I’ve read that getting a pet is a good way of getting yourself out of a slump…”
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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 1:27 pm
"Good....I think I might have a solution to your problem...I just need a few days. I just need to talk to someone and hope they can help." Nodding his head he took a moment to let his chin settle on the others shoulder. "First food and then I'll talk over what I'm thinking. I'll need your help - I think. Even if I don't need help I want opinions and thoughts." He wasn't about to make a choice like this without Caleb's thoughts.
"If you like my idea and if I can work it out - it'll be big." Moving to run his fingers through the others too long hair. "It'll help you I think as well. You lost yourself but it'll be found..a new you or the old you - maybe both? But this is not you. This is a slump I will help you out of. You helped me and now I will help you and we will be friends." And friends didn't allow friends to remain in such a situation.
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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 3:03 pm
Caleb rested his cheek against Xi’s and nodded slightly. “Food first. If you have a solution, I’m more than happy, more than willing to hear it.” It was so nice to be held like this. So nice to be in the arms of someone who cared about him, someone who wanted him to be safe and taken care of.
“What is the idea?” He asked softly, sighing softly as his hair was played with. It felt wonderful.
“You should tell me. I want to help plan it with you if it’s something big. Are you going to get me a cat? I’d need to get a place to live first…this hotel isn’t pet friendly…but if that’s the idea…I like it.” He hoped it would be a cute cat. Something friendly…one who would sit in his lap and purr…and curl up on his pillow and purr…
So long as he had those sympathetic vibrations from a warm, fuzzy body…he suddenly thought he could do anything.
“I like the idea of being friends again, though. It…makes me happy. I missed you.”
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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 4:09 pm
"I already have a cat, Baozi. My idea is moving in together...that means dealing with my cat. I just have to talk to my father about funding a place to live. It would need bedrooms for us both as well as a spare or two...in case my sister, well half sister, decides to move in or at least visit." Which might be a good idea for her - get her out of China. If he could remove his whole family from China he certainly would, he was surprised his father hadn't mentioned the idea yet. It wouldn't be a bad idea since it was safer here...though the CDC recently said that it was a matter of when an outbreak hit the US. He'd also heard it called a pandemic as well...and that meant nothing good.
"I just....I'm dating someone and I don't want it to be awkward between us if we live together. But it would answer the problem as well as others that I suppose have been on my mind here and there." Things he'd ignored and pushed away...just accepted even. He still had issues with not speaking up for himself and his own feelings. He was a lot better about it but he wasn't perfect yet.
"I missed you also..." And he wished he could have told the other his secrets back then. Maybe in time he could sit Caleb down and properly talk to him - explain why it all failed. Not yet though...one problem to fix at a time.
"I'd want your opinion on a place to live though...and what to put in the place. I only have my bedroom to bring to a new place...and a few random things to fill the rest of the house with. Not nearly enough to make any place we'd live a home...and we need a home - we both deserve a home." A home for them and his partner and when Caleb found someone again they could move in. His sister would have a place to stay whenever she wanted. that was the idea and the new want for Xi-Wang. But did Caleb like the idea - would he want it too?
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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 5:38 pm
For a moment, he felt a warm stirring in his chest. There was hope rising and then it left as soon as it had come, with a sigh leaving his lips. He was dating someone. Well. He couldn’t have expected anything else, right? Though, he had been so comfortable with Xi once again, but…that was fine. Maybe that was for the best.
“Well, I’m glad that you’re happy. I hope that it’s going well for you, Xi. You deserve every happiness.”
For a long moment, he thought through the idea. Wondered how he could do this, and finally nodded. “Well, yes. I suppose that would be nice. We can look for places together. Maybe get a house rather than an apartment, with enough space for everything…everyone. And I hope that Baozi won’t object to me possibly getting a cat too, I think it would do me good, so that should be a factor. I have money. I can help get it, but if you want your father to fund it, then by all means!”
He flashed a half smile. “I’m not going to object to not having to spend what I have!”
Caleb had sold the cabin in the woods and the money had simply been sitting in his account, taunting him. But if they could get a place together. If they could make a home. That might be something that would really be good for him.
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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 5:51 pm
"I don't think Baozi will mind. If I move out of where I am now he'll be leaving behind his sibling, Donut, so a new cat would be welcome I think." Someone to keep him company, as he'd need it. People went to school and worked and Baozi being alone, without another cat, would not likely be enjoyed by the feline. Not to mention Xi-Wang thought the idea was sad himself.
"I'll speak with my father. We should plan things...and you can help find a place. I think you'd be better at that than I would." Caleb had lived on his own, and he assumed picked his previous apartment, so he figured the other might think of things he wouldn't. Plus he was likely to understand more in terms of paperwork than he would.
"We'll also need to purchase furniture - things we both like and find suitable." This wouldn't be one sided...he wanted a balance. If they were living together they'd pick things out together. As much as it sounded like a thing for couples to do he wasn't thinking like that...it was like room mates to Xi.
"I'm glad you like the idea...and I want you to be happy as well. I want to help you find happiness." This was the first step, as far as he figured it. Room service should have arrived...right? Caleb had called...right? He really did hope someone wasn't standing outside the hotel door waiting for them - that would be embarrassing.
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Posted: Wed Feb 26, 2020 8:04 pm
Well, at least he could get a cat of his own…that would make things wonderful, he hoped. Some nice, gentle, fluffy creature. That would be…yes. It would be something. And they could get fun cat furniture! He could pay for that, and, goodness he hoped that they would get along.
“I am pretty good at finding places to live. I had a house bought…out in the mountains but. I’ve sold that now. It was a nice cabin but. Um.”
Well. That was something he didn’t want to think about. Or really talk about. “Furniture sounds great, I think we should get a sofa that has a sofa bed in it, just in case we have people over, and we want to use the extra room for an office or something like that. Maybe…have some exercise equipment? I think…I’d like to get fit. Like. Really fit. I think it would be good for me to…put on muscle. I’ve never been really…I mean. You know me. I’m…Mr. Robot…not Mr. Fit.”
Caleb sighed. “I really appreciate this. I really…you are very kind, Xi. Thank you.” He jumped at the sound of a knock and slid off the bed, going to the door and taking the tray of food, tipping the server as he did. Walking over he gave a small smile. “Here we go. Dig in, Xi.”
It was the beginning of a new life. A new start to his own. He would plow his way through, and become better than he ever had been in the past.
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