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 Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 10:02 am
Xi had, over time, gotten used to going out and actually doing things. Not just the needed shopping for food, groceries, or clothing but other little things. After getting out of work an hour ago Xi-Wang had headed to the mall, a place he really wasn’t that fond of, with a purpose in mind.
Wandering around Macy’s bedding area he was looking for a new comforter. It wasn’t that his currant one was bad, far from it, he just wanted a second bed set incase anything happened. It also helped that fall was coming, he could feel it in the air, and he wanted a warmer set of bedding than what he already had. With fall already in the air Xi was figuring on a cold winter, colder than last year, and he wanted to be warm.
Bending down to inspect a bed set he took the time to glance over the design before opening the bag it was all in, just enough to poke and prod at the comforter inside. He wanted to see how thick it was. It seemed ok and the color and design wasn’t bad either. Price was, for now, ignored as he moved it to the side for consideration. Already he’d eyed a few that would just not be warm enough in his opinion.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 11:53 am
Gone. Gone. Gone.
Caleb walked through the department store, not really able to take anything in, just wearing a confused, blank expression. The same one he had worn ever since he saw Chara…
…Ever since he saw the person he loved get killed. Turned into something twisted. Someone else. Chara was dead. Benji was dead. And if Caleb had been a little stronger…
Perhaps that wouldn’t have happened.
Quickly, the male wiped his suddenly blurred eyes, scowling as he glared absently at a bin full of pillows as though they had mortally offended him.
Finally though, he turned to the task of replacing his sheets and blankets. He had ruined the ones that had been on the bed when he had his most recent breakdown, managing to cover them in wax from the candle he had thrown across the room…and of course the burns in the fabric hadn’t helped anything.
He was only thankful that the fire hadn’t spread…but.
Caleb looked at a set that had the most beautiful chocolate brown comforter, and after a moment, he moved towards it, only then seeming to realize that someone else was nearby, and after a small glance, he paused and looked a little closer. “…Xi?”
The boy swallowed and suddenly ran a hand through his hair, wanting to get it out of his eyes. How long had it been since he had seen his ex?
…Too long, really. He felt his eyes beginning to burn again, blurring as tears once more filled them.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:00 pm
Silvery gray wasn’t normally a color he’d go for but it worked with his room, thankfully, so it was set aside along with something dark blue in color. Maybe something in a blueish gray color? That was if they had anything in such a color. He wanted something wintery in color - a cool tone. While picking through the selection, on the hunt for something matching his iudea, he heard his name called.
It wasn’t an unfamiliar voice...just one he hadn’t heard in a long time - a really long time.
Looking up, and turning some, he was surprised to see Caleb. The surprise wasn’t because it was Caleb but rather because of the tears it seemed he was ready to shed. “Caleb?” Turning fully Xi-Wang approached slowly. “You ok? You look...upset?” He looked sad...but why?
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:01 pm
Caleb swallowed and raised a hand, trying to force a smile. “Oh…Yeah It’s me. And…I’m…okay. Kind of.” Not at all, really. But how could he just go into this conversation with something like that.
Quickly he began rubbing at his eyes, trying to erase the traitorous tears before they could give him away more.
“…How have you been? It…I’ve missed you. I’m…sorry for…for how things went down…” Perhaps…if he had just stayed with Xi. If he had never met Benji at all…none of this would have happened. Xi wasn’t a part of any secret world…he was just a normal guy who…well. Might have slept a little too much. But there was nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with nests of blankets and pillows…
…Things had always been comfortable with Xi around, hadn’t they?
“…I was dating someone after you and…they just. They passed away a few weeks ago…and I’m…still trying to…deal with it all…” The words slipped from Caleb’s mouth before he could stop them, and he craved whatever comfort his old love could provide…though if it wasn’t anything…he could see why, it would just…
Suck.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:01 pm
Shaking his head he waved one of his hands a bit. “Both our faults. We both had flaws.” He knew he had flaws, he was likely more aware of them than other people, he was hard on himself but he was honest. “You don’t look ok right now.” He looked terrible in fact.
Things between them may have ended badly, terribly in fact, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see Caleb looking as he did now. He looked awful. Reaching out, as the other started talking again, he let a hand rest on the others shoulder.
Surprise. He was surprised to hear those words, surprised enough that his dark eyes widened and his lips fell open in a quiet gasp. “I’m sorry about that.” And before he could think, as words slipped past his lips, he was drawing the smaller into his arms. That was young for someone to die….though in this city it wasn’t that young. He didn’t ask how, it wasn’t proper, but in this city it could be anything for someone so young. Even if it was something magical he doubted Caleb would know about it. He was innocent and unaware of the whole magical war in the city. It was, to a point, what ended them as a couple. It sucked keeping secrets.
“Why are you even out? I don’t think I’d have left my bed.” Aside from maybe crawling, or dragging himself, to the kitchen for food and the bathroom. Simple needs but that would have been it. “Do you...want to get some food - get out of here?” Wanting to offer some comfort and perhaps take the other away from the other people here who might watch and whisper, as people tended to do.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:03 pm
The touch was as welcome as it was unexpected, and for a moment, Caleb felt as though he would utterly crumble from that simple hand on his shoulder…though when he was suddenly drawn into Xi’s arms, he lost the last bit of his control and felt his own arms going around the other male, pressing his face into his chest and beginning to shake with silent sobs.
He hadn’t meant to. Hadn’t wanted to…but this comfort…he had been waning nothing more than this ever since losing Benji…He had…
Missed the feeling of warm arms around him.
Finally Caleb drew away, scrubbing at his face quickly, trying to erase all signs of his sudden breakdown and nodded, working to pass off his sniffles as some sudden head cold. “…I’d like that. I…I’m out because I…I just kept…All of his stuff is still at my place and it’s just…It’s a lot. It was a lot. I’m…I’d like to hang out some, if you wouldn’t mind…I really…would really like that…thank you.” He looked at the male’s shirt and winced, reaching out to try and scrub away the large splotches that his tears had left behind.
“…Sorry about that…I didn’t mean to lose control…”
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:03 pm
“It’s ok - it’s fine.” Looking down at the hoodie he had on he wasn’t surprised, he’d have been surprised itf it was dry. “If you need help, later, with his things let me know...but maybe keeping some for now is a good idea...to help you a bit. I know sometimes having things around can be a comfort….sometimes not though, so I’m sorry if they hurt to have around.” In case he’d misspoken and gotten it wrong. He still had a plushie, very old and worn out, from when he was a toddler. His mother had bought it and he kept it still.
Even if his mother had been horrible...he hadn’t seen it as a child, hadn’t felt it’s loneliness and hurt, so it reminded him of the good times. It was precious to him, especially with her gone. He glad she was gone, at least this nasty version of her, but it reminded him of the good she’d once had in her...or at least shown him. Even if it had been an act, which he was almost certain it was. It was from an innocent time. Maybe some things now would help Caleb, give him comfort, and help him to ease slowly into moving on from the loss. Or be a reminder, later on, of good times and memories.
“Any food ideas..I mean I don’t know what you’d like to eat...or where you’d want to go.” Somewhere maybe with less people? But he didn’t want to guess it, and be wrong, he didn’t want to make things worse for Caleb.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:04 pm
Caleb rubbed once more at his eyes and blew out a long breath, working hard to reclaim mastery over himself. Finally he managed what almost passed for a smile, mostly and nodded. “…Thank you, Xi. I um. I don’t know. Take me…to your favorite place? I…I want to try something new. And you…you always had such great taste in food…”
He drew in another breath and moved closer again. “…Also, would it be too much to ask…I…”
Of course it would be too much to ask. So he shouldn’t. That was…stupid.
He was being stupid.
“…Would you be unhappy if I asked you to come stay with me for a little while? I…and maybe. I think I should move. I want to find a new apartment and…just. I need to change things up.”
He wouldn’t be able to move to the mountains now, that was off the table. He couldn’t do that without Benji and now…
Well. Now there was no Benji.
“You don’t have to come, I told you…I know it’s too much to ask…”
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:04 pm
“Food I like….” There was a lot of food he liked and he wasn’t sure if Caleb would, he knew some people didn’t handle spice well. So maybe something less spicy...but he didn’t really want to assume either. “Spice...umm...how are you with spice? I know some foods I never made or ordered before.” Back then, back when he’d lived with Caleb. “I eat a lot of Chinese and Indian food.” Due to Nischal, who introduced him to Indian food. There was also other foods he ate, due to Jason and others who he’d spent a good amount of time with - like Rhona.
“I know some good places for Chinese...but I just - I don’t know.” Nibbling on his bottom lip he shook his head once, trying to clear away some of his own nerves and doubts.
“I-I could...the guest room?” He asked. There were boundaries he didn’t want to cross - couldn’t cross. Caleb was going through things and he had Gabriel. He could explain things to Nischal and Jason as well as Gabriel. No doubt they’d understand - they always did. They always understood him and he was sure they’d expect no less from him when he explained Caleb’s situation.
“I can help you - with moving...and finding a place...if you want. I mean I know it’ll be a lot for you to do on your own. Though moving companies are better...for a whole apartment move…” But he could help as much as he could.
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:05 pm
The guest room.
For a moment, Caleb opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it again with a sigh, shaking his head. “Nah. Xi, Nah, I’m. Sorry. I’m not really in my right mind right now...but I appreciate you even...even trying to be here for me. I don’t...really deserve it and...I’m just. All sorts of messed up. I guess.”
He ran a trembling hand through his dark hair and tried to shake his head in order to clear it of whatever cobwebs had decided to settle there against his will.
“...I’m...honestly not even hungry...I should…” He swallowed hard and took a step away from the male. Away from the past and away from something that might have been a stable link to sanity. Someone who he had pushed away far too long ago, and was now reaping the consequences from that. “...Just...if things get too rough...may I call you? Just...you know. Just to talk in case...I just…”
Caleb hesitated, shaking his head and finally mumbled. “...Just can’t take it? I feel...awful right now.”
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:06 pm
Watching Caleb carefully, afraid the other might just break, Xi-Wang was worried for the other who seemed too fragile at the moment. It was like looking at spun glass but not wanting to touch it for fear or it breaking, or in some way becoming damaged. But the other was already damaged; he just didn’t want to make it worse.
“It’s ok. You need to take some time and think and try and focus.” He needed a lot of time from what it looked like. Time away from his home and away from memories which might make things worse, though he didn’t say any of this to the other. He didn’t want to risk upsetting the other, or causing him to lash out.
“Ok...so no food.” Nodding his head, slowly, Xi-wang was treating this as if anything loud or too quick might startle and upset Caleb, and it might. Always considerate of others, typically before himself, he let the other speak and work things out, as he needed to. “Of course, if you need to call we can talk. If you want to meet up we can do that as well. Whatever you need.”
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Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2020 12:06 pm
Caleb nodded and just rubbed at his face for a moment. “…I’ll call, Xi. Thank you for. For this. I.” He swallowed, trying to bite back all of his emotions, his fears, his pain, everything.
There wasn’t anything he could do but work to really destroy chaos. To kill every last one of those who wore black. He could do it, he was sure…it would just take some time, and obviously he would need more power, so that would be something he would have to work on but…
But he could do it. He had to.
He looked at his friend and former lover and sighed, almost seeming to look through him. “…I’ll go now, I won’t…keep wasting your time. Again…thank you. I’ll try to keep in touch.”
And as Caleb moved off, he thought that he would try…though how much he would succeed would be a mystery.
Right now he just needed to mourn, and he knew the only way he deserved to mourn was alone.
And it sucked.
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