Welcome to Gaia! ::

She quickly pulled out her phone, scrolling through her contacts until she came to Selene. She kept walking the whole time she stared at her name, even hovered her thumb over the green button to call her. Why couldn’t she just call her? Why didn’t Selene call her? Now her normally quiet walk that would let her calming reflection was causing more emotional distress then she was used too. Making matters worse she had been walking more than she normally did and was starting to get tired, she needed to rest she but Bryia hadn’t realized where she had been walking too. It was then that she looked up from her phone and saw she was in front of Selene’s house.

How long had she been walking for? She wasn’t sure of that answer, but now she was tired and didn’t want to sit in the snow. She thought maybe she should just push herself a bit harder and walk home. At the same time, she always wanted to talk to Selene and her house was just right there. She made her way to the front door, never had a door seemed so… imposing before. She put her fist on the door, she just needed to knock that’s it. But just like before she hovered her fist in front of the door but she wasn’t knocking, she just stood there working up the will to just knock.

Bryia stood like a deer caught in the headlights. “I… um… ya.” She stuttered. Channeling her inner deer she stood for a long few moments, unsure what she should do before finally taking a step into the house. Be it the long walk, her anxiety or the awkward waddle she was now known for her leg seemed to buckle for the briefest of moments. This wasn’t as uncommon to her as it had once been and she quickly caught herself on the door frame before waddling in the rest of the way.

It was only when she was inside did she realize Selene had opened the door before she knocked. “Where you going somewhere? If this is a bad time I can come back?”

It wasn’t until Bryia sat down on the couch and saw she was “manspreading” that she knew she was in need of a change. She had thought of getting up to head to the bathroom when Selene came back into the room. She quickly put her hand on her lap trying to cover the bulk that was keeping her thighs in different time zones. Not that her friend would look there, right? Or notice the formation of the “Grand Knee Canyon” that had been created?

“No, I’m fine.” She stuttered out. “I’ve been going for walks, it helps with the physical therapy. I just kinda ended up here and thought I’d stop by.” Would she believe her? It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t really the truth either. She felt dirty, but not because of what she was sitting in but just her own double speak. She sounded like a politician or one of the nurses at the hospital. “How have you been?”

“She still treats me like a baby at times but…” Her thoughts trailed off for a moment. Considering her current state in many ways she wasn’t that far off. “I guess I can understand.”
“I may be returning to school after the new year. My Aunt was worried about me being at school alone until I got…” How much should she tell her? How much was TMI? Was she even going to return? This was the moment had become a realization that things had truly changed. Before everything had happened she wouldn’t have kept going without thinking twice about what she said but now… Now it was different. “Until I’d be able to manage… things on my own.”

Though she could now return to school she questioned what was the point? She couldn’t go to college now with her gymnastics scholarship down the drain. She honestly couldn’t even think of a reason to finish high school at this point. Well nothing beyond avoiding the storm of an argument her Aunt would lay into her with.

“No that’s alright I should probably get going.” Bryia put her hands on her knees and pushed herself up, unfortunately, that wasn’t the only pushing that was done. Without warning Bryia had a repeat of her last gymnastics practice… only worse. Halfways up she felt herself let loose on the most offensive sound she had ever heard from her back side. The sound alone may not have caused that much embarrassment the fact that she could feel her pants were now sagging a few inches lower did.

There she was, half standing, half sitting, just like a toddler when they did the same thing, only Bryia wasn’t sure what to do. She could only hope the scent of cinnamon rolls baking in the oven would mask whatever smell she had created… but she wasn’t hopeful.

“I...um…” She struggled to find something to say. “Where’s your restroom again?” With a face so red she could be mistaken for Santa’s coat.

Bryia simply nodded, grabbing her backpack and headed for the stairs, with a more pronounced waddle then before. Stairs normally weren’t much of an issue anymore but this time had been a bit more trouble then she wanted to admit, as was everything else. While she did carry a bag with her incase something like this happened the last few months she’d never had to change in public. The few times she had she would just wait until she returned to her Aunt’s place.

As she finished washing her hands she sat on the toilet with the lid down. Perhaps she wasn’t ready for school again. She had been dealing with her condition on her own terms until just now. If she returned to school this could be a common event, what if it happened in the middle of class? This sent a chill up her spine, she didn’t want to think about it. Her mouth of dry, she reached into her bag and pulled out a battle of water. It annoys her in a way, eating and drinking just feels like all she was doing we “reloading” for the next one.

Bryia grabbed the small bag and put the old one in and made her way downstairs to find Selene sitting in the living room waiting for her. “I’ll just throw this in the garbage outside as I leave.” She says holding up the bag. Bryia heads to the door but stops as she reaches for the handle. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to get ahold of you sooner.” Say turns back to Selene trying not to cry as a sudden rush of emotions seems to assault her from nowhere. “I’d hoped that somehow things could go back to normal, that one day I would wake up and I’d be… me again.” She let out a small sigh. “But I know now that’s never going to happen and I need to accept this is who I am now.”