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The first thing Des became aware of, was that whatever he was on, was not the hard roof he was standing on moments before. The second was, well, last time he had checked, he was fairly certain skies didn't have ceilings to them outside of video games.. He squinted up at the white ceiling, taking a minute for his eyes to adjust. Had he passed out again?

Well ******** he remembered, he was outside arguing with Natron. And while his head was pounding, Des had a sneaking suspicion it had more to do with the arguing, then him hitting his head against the shingles. Which meant one of two things. Either he was dead and this was... whatever this was. Or, he was home.

Why would he be home?

Des sat up slowly, blinking. Okay... So apparently he really was at home. But why? And who? A soft mew drew his attention and Des turned to find his cat sitting in a chair. Or more specifically, sitting on someone who was sleeping in a chair.

Well, that answered one question.... Maybe.

Noir Songbird

Des fixed his cat with a flat look. "Traitor." He mumbled, not caring if the word made Gabriel squirm. Figures the cat would curl up on him, and in the most awkward spot too.

He continued to stare at his cat instead of the awkward man in the chair. He was uncomfortable. Good. Served him right. Des rolled his eyes with a snort when Gabriel admitted he had been right. He flopped back onto the bed, jerking the blankets back around him. "No ******** s**t Sherlock. But what do I know."

Noir Songbird

"You deserve that, more and nothing all at the same ******** time." He mumbled around a face full of pillow, refusing to look at the other man. "No. You didn't just not listen to me. What you did was ignore me at every turn." Des hissed, a little louder. He rolled his eyes at the mention of 'loyalty' and not wanting to hurt him.

"Oh don't even start." He snapped, sitting up suddenly. Des dropped his head into his hands, dizzy from the movement. "You wouldn't know loyalty if it bit you in the a**. You were so drunk on chaos I honestly doubt you could have made heads or tails of anything. The only thing that probably made since to you was whatever the most chaotic option at hand was. I highly doubt loyalty had anything to do with s**t you were doing. You probably would have eaten enough seeds to turn had you been left alone with the idea long enough." He shrugged dismissively.

"You tried to kill me for two years." He said, picking up his head and finally looking at Gabriel. "Two years. Do you have any idea the things I've done during that time? Where I've been? Kerberos defected. Alex is gone, Gabe. I've lost him. I wouldn't recognize him if we passed on the street at this point. He was scared. So I brought him here. I thought I could protect him but I couldn't and he left me. He left me... And then I was alone again. You were already gone at that point. Again." He was silent for a moment, just staring at Gabriel. Or past him... He wasn't entirely sure.

"Do you know what I did then? Like honestly? I wandered around the city. I ended up crossing paths with someone I knew." Gabriel could probably guess where this story was going. "I ripped Mimsy from her life." He snapped. "Do you know why?." Des didn't give Gabriel the chance to even respond before answering his own question. "Cause I was bitter. She was happy and I wasn't. She had friends and loved ones and I didn't. I couldn't help the two people I cared for more then anything. She... She made me so angry. She was so happy. Mimsy just wanted to help. She had tried to. So I drained her. And I corrupted her." Again, Des shrugged. "She says shes happy. But she's missing half of herself. She didn't get lucky like I did. My memories weren't tampered with." It was something he would have to live with for the rest of his life.

He stood almost as suddenly, wobbling at first. "I hid at my parents house." He said, voice cracking. "I didn't know where else to go. You were checking everywhere. And I could feel you creeping around here at times." Why he never came into the house, Des would never understand. "I panicked. I just... ran. I grabbed a bunch of s**t and ran." His voice cracked again as he began to shake.

"Airi and I started arguing, about things. About nothing. I think he was going through somethings and wanted my help and I ignored him because I was too focused on running and hiding from you." He sniffled as he collapsed to the ground. "Now he's gone and I don't know where he is." Des drew his knees to his chest, and buried his face as his hands fisted in his hair. "He's gone and I'm alone again. But this time I know my name."

Noir Songbird

Am I playing dirty yet

When the hand was placed on his knee, Des flinched. He hated that he did, but something about second hand nature or whatever.

"I am though!" He yelled. "Airi's gone, Alex doesn't exist anymore. I don't even want to begin to think about Mimsy's twisted perspective and you... You're still poisoned." Des sniffled, still curled in on himself. "How do I know this isn't some stupid plan to get me to lower my guard." Not that it wasn't already lowered. "I already told you to just kill me. There's not point in trying beat around the bush anymore."

He snorted softly. "I don't think Airi was scared of you because the threat you imposed to him. I think he was more worried about me." He huffed, sitting up enough to wipe at his face. "Lotta good I did with that though. He finally had enough I guess. He broke the bond while I was hiding at my parents place." Des rubbed the spot where his starseed was absently. "Can't exactly fix that. He's a youma, last time we technically tried that what happened?" Des wouldn't let them get their hands on Airi. Not without a fight.

Des rolled his eyes with a scowl. "That might be another reason why Mimsy's gone..." He said almost bitterly. "I told her I didn't want to know and she ran her ******** mouth anyway."

"I know that. Don't you remember me? I know what its like to know nothing, to forget yourself." He snapped. "In case you forgot, Kerb got Luka corrupted. He's nothing like he use to be."

"I don't care." He mumbled, waving a hand. "Im going to be in pain and alone one way or another. Be it Chaos, Order or death. So just pick whatever poison you want and get it over with. I'm not gonna fight you anymore." He was done running and hiding. Des didn't have the strength for it anymore.

He turned then, grabbing a fist full of the comforter and hauling himself up. "You do realize how many times you've left me already right?" What was one more. Des hauled himself up onto the bed, with a grunt. "Ow." He grumbled flatly. Silence lapsed between them before he sighed. Getting snappy and bitter was getting him nowhere.

He scrubbed at his face. What did he do about Kerberos anyway. What did they do about that anyway. With an aggitated noise he let his hands flop back onto the bed.

Des snorted. "In my defense, everything else I tried didn't work so what harm does doing nothing pose?" He shrugged before grabbing Gabriel's hand and hauling himself up. "...Are... we gonna talk about that, or just pretend it's a thing? Not a thing?" He huffed lightly, gesturing to a near by night stand. "I should not be telling you this in the slightest but... In the drawer.. There's an old burner phone. Get it for me?"

He laughed slightly. "Too tired to walk is a bit of an understatement. I've been running on... empty, for a really long time." Des rain a hand threw his hair, eyeing it. "I'm kinda surprised Mimsy hasn't kicked down the door to try and shove a seed down my throat or something." But just because it hadn't happened yet, didn't mean it wouldn't happen at all.. "Depression, insomnia... They're b***h enough on their own? Put em together? Shoot. I'm a mess. And that's not even dragging my lack of eating into the mess." Des flopped back onto the bed again. "How many times do I have to say it? I'm not fighting you anymore. I'm done running. Whatever you wanna do, do it."

He sighed softly, closing his eyes.

"Honestly? I just want a nap. One not induced by me passing the flying ******** out."

Noir Songbird

Des hummed softly, turning on the phone. "Well, yeah... I wasn't going to put it in my phone. What if you had gotten it? Or anyone else? I don't know if I could have stopped you, or anyone else if they had. It was the only thing I could do to keep him safe..." The only thing he could think of.

Des stared at the uniform for a moment. "I.. don't know if I can power up at the moment." He said honestly. "And I.... really don't want to eat another crystal. It's hard enough pretending Mimsy doesn't crush them into whatever she gives me... It's even harder having to stomach them." Des never had been use to the idea of putting the seeds they had collected to good use. Des made a face at the mention of teleporting. "I make no promises I won't get sick.. Ugh."

"...You didn't answer the question." He said softly, letted Natron gather him. "Do you want to know whats going on with Kerberos?" They probably should talk about it... But talking was never their strongest feature. With as sigh he punched in the number and leaned as best he could againt Natron.

"Nile. Like the river."