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 Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 5:34 pm
Here's something I copied off my dojos website. Funny stuff. If anyone else has any jokes about bullshido, or martial arts in general post them here. Could be fun.
13. Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target.
12. First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully.
11. Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his spilled pocket protector.
10. The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars" are just slices of old cheese.
9. The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.
8. The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of the Three Stooges.
7. Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop quizzes" in dark alleys.
6. Benihana has a restraining order against your instructor.
5. Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to end.
4. Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does not exist in this dojo!"
3. You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying to tie your belt on.
2. Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the neighbors when he moved in.
And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School...
1. Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a can of whoop-a**" on someone?
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Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 5:38 pm
Here's one for all those BJJ practicioners out there.
You Know You're Hooked On Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu When...
12. You change the pronounciation of your name ROB to HOB.
11. Umpa's in your sleep.
10. Your gas,phone,water & electricity have been cut off but you've managed to collect enough cans for this months lessons.
9. Everytime you see some buffed out bozo who thinks he is Mr.Tough....."Visions of armbars dance in your head."
8. Instinctively mount your masseuse during foot massage because you inadvertantly thought he was going for the ankle lock.
7. Pet Anoconda Snake named "Royce".
6. Your dog avoids you, has a slight limp
5. When your wife hugs you, you go into o-goshi
4. Everybody that knows you has heard the name "Gracie"
3. Your right elbow has been hyperextended 6 times
2. People at work smile but avoid you after seeing your latest t-shirt
1. You instinctively pass your girlfriend's guard.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 12:09 am
Haha.. The first is a repost, though. But it always gives me a chuckle.
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 4:17 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 9:11 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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