Welcome to Gaia! ::

Sootpelt shivered at the chill that had settled around their home. Since the moment he had woken up he hadn't been able to shake it. He pawed his way out of the dens deciding that either a hunt or going for a jog may help him warm up a bit. It was better than being alone with his thoughts.

His new home. It still felt so weird and unfamiliar to him. Actually getting to be with Fawn and his kids without judgement or worry had been amazing, but deep down he still felt a sting of guilt. He'd not only taken a mate from another clan, but even turned his back to his old clan in the name of love. He'd walked away from his home and family. Shadowstar's words on afterlife still rang in his ears.

Of anyone, he'd never deserve it.

That alone made him sick to his stomach. He'd decided that if that's how it had to be then he'd live his best life now. He'd work hard to protect his new clan, love his family and Fawn to the best of his ability, and just make the most of it. It was all he could think to do.

As he walked he came upon a familiar sight. Ah, Foxfur. He paused, sitting back on his haunches for a moment to watch the other. He tried to keep from chuckling as it looked like the other was just rolling around on the ground. Sootpelt knew the male from their last clan and knew there was much more going on with the cat than it seemed.

“Hey Foxfur.” he finally called out, standing up with a flick of his tail and making his way to sit by the other “Looks like you got a lot on your mind. Whats going on?”

Sootpelt felt a pang at the male's words. What if both sides were wrong? He listened in silence, head slowly bobbing at the other's words. Wouldn't that just be his luck though? He sighed heavily, wondering how he could even share the internal struggle he was having.

"I grew up believing everything Starclan said to be true, but you can see how I messed that up." he tossed a grin at the other cat before looking away. He stared into the forest around them, lost in his thoughts. "I guess I have a question to your question. What does it matter what others believe in the end?"

"If you believe what you believe and you believe it to be true and you're working your hardest at it. Then what does it matter what the others believe? They'll never agree with you. Sure, some might when you tell them about whatcha believe, but in the end nothing changes. You and I work our hardest to support the clan, care for those we love, then when we go on into the afterlife..." he shrugged helplessly "We've seen there is one. We fought for it. There's an afterlife for both sides. So what if neither is wrong? What if 'right' is just that- protecting the things you believe without faltering?" he nodded. Yeah, he liked that.

"So maybe neither side is wrong, but its just what we're meant to do. What if its all just a test for the afterlife. We stay strong and do right by our beliefs and our clan. Then come out the other side better for it. So those border fights are just to see if we'd put our claws where our mouths are."

"What I mean is, if you believe it is right then how can it be wrong? Perhaps nothing is wrong, but everything is right. It'll all get us to the same place in the end. What about that?" Sootpelt stared off for a second, playing with the sudden thought for a moment. What if... "I'm not saying its true, just playing with the possibility of the idea. But I guess in the end what would be the purpose of fighting at all? Would it still be right to ignore our elders and kits and just gorge ourselves?" he stuck his tongue out at that idea. It at least felt wrong.

Sootpelt nodded, tapping his chin with his paw thoughtfully. "But it wasn't infinite. You saw the others... disappear." the thought made him shudder. "Or at least, maybe, that wasn't an afterlife but a life before it?" he looked sick for a moment. All the fighting in this life just to fight again?

Sootpelt made a face at the other saying he didn’t like the analogy, but he understood where the other cat was coming from. He nodded at the other, telling him to continue with his thoughts. “I don’t like it either. I’m sure there are some cats out there who believe like that though…” his voice lowered to almost a whisper at that.

He listened in silence, tail slowly swaying behind him as his mind worked on the other’s words. “Do you think that rule is in place to keep Warriors from getting big heads during good catch times? Like, ‘we take care of you all we’re gonna get fat on all this food and give you the scraps’, kinda thing? Just to make sure respect is kept in place?” He just… he had to believe that some rules had been laid out and given its purpose by a good reason. He lifted his paw looking at it with empty eyes. It hurt his head as much as his heart to think about, “So perhaps if lean times come… it would be a different story?”

He drew in the dirt with a nail for a moment, sighing. “So if we had to find our 'right' not based on clan rules, what could it be based on?”